Tacenda Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 8 hours ago, teddyaware said: It was a very difficult transition for me to adopt the LDS lifestyle because in my former life I was zany, freewheeling and a bit eccentric due to my creative mind, so trying to adjust to having a bunch of very conservative, straight laced “squares” become my new extended family took some time. The one thing that did make the transition a bit easier is the fact that my former friends from the world of Rock & Roll were really selfish, hedonistic people who were starting to get on my nerves even before the Church came into my life. I know it sounds a bit crazy that a regular drug user like myself would get annoyed with friends who were plunging deeper and deeper into wicked lifestyles, but in spite of my drug use I was the least immoral guy in the crowd and was even somewhat clean cut, at least when compared to the outright degenerates in my group of friends. But I must say that after leaving my old friends completely behind after joining the Church, the members did eventually become beloved members of my extended family. But with that being said, I must confess I’m not your typical laidback, prim and proper Latter-Day Saint, as I’m notorious for my intense passion and creativity in many different avenues of my life. Right now I’m once again serving as the Gospel Doctrine teacher in my ward, a calling I’ve often had at other times and in other places. All tolled, I’d say I’ve taught Gospel Doctrine classes at least 500 times in my life. I must also confess that some members find my passionate and enthusiastic teaching style to be somewhat grating because they’re not used to an energetic type A personality who doesn’t fit the usual mold of a born and raised member of the Church. My very best to you as you travel through your amazing life here on earth! Ted Well, I hope you kept some of the bold! I'd love to sit in one of your Sunday school classes! And nice to see this personal side of you Ted!! I'm the most boring person in the world so I'd love to be in the room with those like you!
teddyaware Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 (edited) 39 minutes ago, Tacenda said: Well, I hope you kept some of the bold! I'd love to sit in one of your Sunday school classes! And nice to see this personal side of you Ted!! I'm the most boring person in the world so I'd love to be in the room with those like you! Oh I’m still bold alright! I have to consciously rein it in. By the way, due to the pandemic my ward is holding its Gospel Doctrine classes on Zoom, so I’ll send you the link for the next class we’re going to have on the 21st of this month and then you’ll be able to watch or listen as I teach. Ok? Edited March 11, 2021 by teddyaware 1
Tacenda Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 26 minutes ago, teddyaware said: Oh I’m still bold alright! I have to consciously rein it in. By the way, due to the pandemic my ward is holding its Gospel Doctrine classes on Zoom, so I’ll send you the link for the next class we’re going to have on the 21st of this month and then you’ll be able to watch or listen as I teach. Ok? I would love that! I hope the zoom thing continues, I do enjoy going to church that way. Thanks so much!
teddyaware Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 22 minutes ago, Tacenda said: I would love that! I hope the zoom thing continues, I do enjoy going to church that way. Thanks so much! I’ll remember.
Teancum Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 On 2/28/2021 at 2:48 PM, mfbukowski said: Bravo! I think he is still a child.
Teancum Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 On 2/28/2021 at 2:57 PM, mfbukowski said: Psychedelics work and can change and spiritualized life but they are not the real thing compared to a heavy dose of the Holy Spirit. They are like riding a bike with training wheels. Why? Maybe your approach is with training wheels and I think it is if you use the LDS paradigm. That paradigm treats humans as children. It seems to me freeing yourself from constraints others impose on you is riding the bike without training wheels.
rodheadlee Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 44 minutes ago, Teancum said: I think he is still a child. Thanks for the compliment. 1
mfbukowski Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 1 hour ago, Teancum said: Why? Maybe your approach is with training wheels and I think it is if you use the LDS paradigm. That paradigm treats humans as children. It seems to me freeing yourself from constraints others impose on you is riding the bike without training wheels. We are all programmed to some degree by our culture, language, parental influence etc. I am not sure what the "LDS paradigm" is, but I suspect it is not as rigid as you suppose. And then there is "self determination"- the idea that one way of "freeing oneself" is to follow - or "be obedient " to rules which one takes upon themselves voluntarily. A doctor says you need to lose 20 pounds, vs your wife tells you you need to lose 20 pounds. Which of these two alternatives- if any- constitute a "constraint others impose on you"? Now suppose you look in the mirror and say to yourself "I need to lose 20 pounds." Now you voluntarily constrain yourself from eating chocolate cake etc. because in our culture you consider yourself as looking "too fat" Does that cultural pressure constitute a "constraint others have imposed" on you? Quote self-de·ter·mi·na·tion noun the process by which a country determines its own statehood and forms its own allegiances and government. "the changes cannot be made until the country's right to self-determination is recognized" the process by which a person controls their own life. "services for the mentally ill should aim to promote individuals' capacity for self-determination" Suppose one actually voluntarily commits to make and follow covenants which are endorsed by the LDS church. This is called "The Covenant Path" where YOUR PERSONAL self-determination coincides with the Church program, just as say, losing the 20 lbs would be good for your personal health. That's how I see it. Yes the church preaches it but that is no reason to automatically see it as being "constrained by others" And in fact that is also exactly what Jehovah did in deciding to come to earth and suffer and die, and that is how we are portrayed in the conventional "we come to earth to be tested and then return to God " story we are taught/teach. That is the way Wittgenstein sees Christianity. The story of Jesus is the story of "Everyman" 2
Tacenda Posted March 12, 2021 Posted March 12, 2021 I thought this woman's shared experience with the group might be of interest. I share her addiction to Diet Dr. Pepper, and not enough water. Which for the session she was told not to drink, only water and she failed that part, I picture myself doing that. And I resonated about feeling guilt that I wasn't a good enough mother. http://www.theutahbee.com/2021/03/11/ayahuasca-heres-the-deal/?fbclid=IwAR0QLTXjlWfgVAs-gNj961gVo0BNoFxxKA9Vv_UW2BoXyZkCETfL6joaI5M
ttribe Posted March 12, 2021 Posted March 12, 2021 (edited) On 3/1/2021 at 5:50 AM, Calm said: My father’s personality altered some after surgery...probably as a result of the anesthesia. He was overnight someone with massive empathy, willing to express his emotions, and connecting with the Spirit. It freaked my siblings out as Dad was the concrete foundation of safety for a couple of them and someone whose practical, down to earth behaviour had always been consistent, predictable. However, my mother and I saw it as a glimpse into a view of what he might be like in a celestial setting. There was some negative stuff going on as well (I can’t remember what because I wasn’t there except for one day) so the doctor ordered a scan and they discovered a benign tumor had engulfed his pituitary gland. Went back in for brain surgery and when he came back out, he was back to ‘normal’. It was a bit disappointing, but he hadn’t been able to get out of bed much during that brief time (two weeks maybe), so necessary. Ketamine treatment was described as our brains/minds being like a tightly built stack of pancakes making it difficult to get the deeper aspects where Ketamine would open up the spaces between, allowing closer inspection for some and new connections to be made that could result in being able to move out of depression and other negative mental states. For me, ketamine was first like an intensified trip through one of the Fantasia movie sections where music is visually expressed with color variations, like I was on a gentle roller coaster moving through mountains of ornate, bright saturated, jewel like colour. It was pure fun, I felt like I was being given gift after gift of almost exactly what I wanted. “Almost” because I was aware enough to know I was not getting any new ideas, doors weren’t being opened and I really, really wanted that. The bad trip was not gentle, but harsh and forceful and the colours were dark and felt like assaults rather than joyful. It was more feelings that were nightmarish than what I was seeing. So I have no clue what the drug experience might bring in terms of insight or how that might work, hoping to reach it when I try again. ECT was sort of described as working in the same way...rebooting the brain perhaps with the seizures. It got my daughter out of a very dark, zombie like depression, though couldn’t pull her up to no depression at all. It seems to me like a different type of depression though, rather than moving her from a significantly negative state of happiness to a zero or slightly positive state if that makes sense. Her face had become lax, expressionless, non responsive in the darkness rather than suffering, sad, in pain, anxious as happens now. Cannabis snapped me out of the darkness this January. I was going as deep as I had ever been, maybe deeper. I am guessing that my brain was used to being depressed and like lack of exercise results in muscles that don’t fully function, the right set of neurochemicals were being less and less produced. Cannabis gives me a mild flood of something that wakes up what produces those ‘cheerful’ chemicals I am also guessing, so when the cannabis dissipates I might not be so bright, but the darkness has gone. Weirdly antibiotics also move me out of depression (happened three times), so doctor and I are thinking maybe there is a chronic infection causing inflammation or something. Next step is to finding a doctor who can explore that. Got one referral, just got to call. When I have gotten darkly depressed or numb emotionally, my ability to feel the Spirit is lowered or even gone. This has been drug induced as well as whatever is naturally producing these states in me. Yet the experience of the Spirit is not just emotional to me, there is a clarity of thought as well as a sense of closeness to something or someone. If drugs can hamper experiencing the Spirit, I see no reason why they couldn’t make it easier for some to access it. It will be interesting to see if I ever can consistently stay out of the depths if I feel it is easier to access the Spirit, if there is a greater sense of connection. I honestly can’t remember what it was like before or even if I ever felt joy as my memories are relived with how I feel now about them, not how I felt then, so can’t compare it. I do remember what it was like moving out of the drug induced numbness as I realized it when taking a shower and suddenly remembering how much I enjoy the sensation of water on my skin and I realized the space in my head that had felt like there was a weight on it...like I was buried under a mountain but restricted by the weight, not crushed...was gone and that part of me was breathing fresh air again or so it translated for me. If you haven’t experienced these drugs, I don’t believe you can understand what the experience is like, just as I have no clue still how ketamine might yield insight for me though I know how it lifts my emotions, makes me feel lighter, brighter for a few days, so I can extrapolate what it might be like to be able to feel joy and satisfaction again. Without that personal knowledge, I don’t think one can fairly judge the value of the experience or whether it is ultimately good or bad...though I don’t believe that means everyone should try it. I do believe people can look at those who have tried drugs and seen what kind of differences it had made in their lives, but again to be knowledgeable one needs to be aware of a lot of different people and I doubt unless one is involved in a community that is open to drug use, one will be aware of enough of the range of experiences to be able to judge even that way. In the end we need to actively bring something to any spiritual connection if we want a relationship, a sustained connection, just as we have to in relationships with our friends, family, work colleagues, etc. Otherwise we remain strangers simply living in each other’s space at times. I'll add, ketamine treatments have literally been a lifesaver for me on a few occasions. It's an utterly bizarre experience (just TRY to convince me those are actually my feet...seriously, just try), but the relief from severe bouts of depression has been amazing. Edited March 12, 2021 by ttribe
Calm Posted March 12, 2021 Posted March 12, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, ttribe said: I'll add, ketamine treatments have literally been a lifesaver for me on a few occasions. It's an utterly bizarre experience (just TRY to convince me those are actually my feet...seriously, just try), but the relief from severe bouts of depression have been amazing. I may PM you for advice if that is okay. I really want to try it again, but I am very nervous. Edited March 12, 2021 by Calm
ttribe Posted March 12, 2021 Posted March 12, 2021 3 hours ago, Calm said: I may PM you for advice if that is okay. I really want to try it again, but I am very nervous. Any time. Glad to offer my experiences and insights.
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