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Coat retrieval plan?


Duncan

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So, those of who who are on my FB may be aware but a year ago someone swiped my coat from Church. It gets complicated by the fact that my Dad gave me the coat. He told me he spent $200 on it in 1967, which today would be like $1500. To put it mildly it's a vintage, quality coat. He also told me that he bought a mop and will wash the floor with blood, it's up to me to determine if that blood is mine or someone else's. He's almost 86 and healthy like an Ox.  So, today guess who suddenly appeared? My coat and this fellow in my ward was wearing it. I don't know if he stole it or just somehow took the wrong coat. I', 95% its mine and my Dad can return his mop. So, now the question is how do I get it back? I don't want to accuse him of stealing but I want it back too! any tips?

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Duncan, can you tell a little bit about how you lost it? Did you leave it somewhere, like at the church. Sometimes things get left for a period of time and then schools and maybe the ward offered anyone to take unclaimed items before being sent to the D.I. Oops, just read your OP and you say it was stolen from church. Well, can you tell a little bit about that as well?

Edited by Tacenda
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I'm with Jeanne.   "Oh, I'm so glad you found my missing coat and have taken great care of it.   I'll follow you home to get it if you like so you won't be cold."  (Though if he refuses to give it to you, how will you prove that one is actually yours?  Send it away for dna tests?)

Take a photo with you wearing it and one with your dad wearing it when you talk to him about it.   Maybe don't do it at church, but go to his home during the middle of the week (with someone else).

Edited by rpn
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9 minutes ago, Duncan said:

we attend Church together every week, I wouldn't say I know him super well, we don't hang out really, nice guy though. I honestly think he took it by mistake

I would be totally straight up and tell him everything, that your dad gave it to you and that it once belonged to him and that it had been stolen a year ago. And mention you're not blaming him at all, and there could be a good explanation for why he's wearing it and that you just need it back. And then let him explain how he got it. It very well could be the strangest circumstance that he came about getting it. Or it could be a good time for him to come clean. Whatever you do you need to be straight up honest.

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1 hour ago, Duncan said:

So, those of who who are on my FB may be aware but a year ago someone swiped my coat from Church. It gets complicated by the fact that my Dad gave me the coat. He told me he spent $200 on it in 1967, which today would be like $1500. To put it mildly it's a vintage, quality coat. He also told me that he bought a mop and will wash the floor with blood, it's up to me to determine if that blood is mine or someone else's. He's almost 86 and healthy like an Ox.  So, today guess who suddenly appeared? My coat and this fellow in my ward was wearing it. I don't know if he stole it or just somehow took the wrong coat. I', 95% its mine and my Dad can return his mop. So, now the question is how do I get it back? I don't want to accuse him of stealing but I want it back too! any tips?

My prayer is that he is not the one who slole it, or it is truly a mistake. Being a member (as I assume he is) I am heartsick that something like this could happen. But unless he owns a coat like it, from so long ago, the only explanation that fits, is that he stole it, "IN CHURCH", which makes me want to thrown up on my iPad. Either way, if it is monogrammed, be bold and ask him to show it to you. If not "monogrammed", make him explain where he purchased it, and when. 

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PaPa, Someone might have picked it up and moved it if perhaps it had been knocked off its hanger accidentally and another coat took its place before it was picked up or someone was sent to get another's coat and mistook it for that one.  Then it might have ended up in the lost and found (assuming Duncan looked for it around the Church so it wasn't just hung up elsewhere).  There are other options to stealing, though stealing is a definite possibility.  Seems unlikely it would then be worn back to the scene of the crime though.

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40 minutes ago, Duncan said:

we attend Church together every week, I wouldn't say I know him super well, we don't hang out really, nice guy though. I honestly think he took it by mistake

Then I wouldn't say it was stolen, but rather lost or misplaced and you weren't able to find it.  That his coat looks identical and you are only approaching him about it because it has great sentimental value for your 86 year old dad....play up the sentimental value as that is the only nonawkward justification to challenge his ownership, imo.  Assume in the conversation it was put in the lost and found and went unclaimed.  If you go the lost/misplaced route, that allows him to save face if he is not willing to confess plus it shows you are not blaming him if someone else stole it or was the idiot to move/borrow/whatever.  It also provides an easy opening for him to explain how he got it.

If there is some identification you know of, the brand of the coat, a tear or mend or other mark, then bring that up as well.

And then if you get it back, put your name in it. ;)

Edited by Calm
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1 hour ago, Duncan said:

So, those of who who are on my FB may be aware but a year ago someone swiped my coat from Church. It gets complicated by the fact that my Dad gave me the coat. He told me he spent $200 on it in 1967, which today would be like $1500. To put it mildly it's a vintage, quality coat. He also told me that he bought a mop and will wash the floor with blood, it's up to me to determine if that blood is mine or someone else's. He's almost 86 and healthy like an Ox.  So, today guess who suddenly appeared? My coat and this fellow in my ward was wearing it. I don't know if he stole it or just somehow took the wrong coat. I', 95% its mine and my Dad can return his mop. So, now the question is how do I get it back? I don't want to accuse him of stealing but I want it back too! any tips?

Hey, send me a PM, qaqaI can "friend me" on Facebook. I have few FB friends who are members  and share my beliefs. Having grown up Baptist, and in the home of a Baptist minister. Most of my friends and 99.999% of all my family, canned n replace to myself. Asa mormOn.

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Ouch.  I took a coat off the rack one Sunday, one of my most shameful admissions.  I was freezing and I had noticed it hanging for several weeks.  Never could remember to return it to the rack.  Total jerk move.  Being the one on that end of it... just mention it.  

“I recently lost a coat like yours...any chance it could be the one I lost?”  

If it is or isn’t, you’ll soon know if you’ll be able to recover it. 

By the way, years later I gave the coat I stole to a homeless man on a park bench on a sub zero night.  I felt a bit better but still am embarrassed for my sticky fingers. 

You can yell at me, if it makes you feel better. I deserve it. 

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3 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

Ouch.  I took a coat off the rack one Sunday, one of my most shameful admissions.  I was freezing and I had noticed it hanging for several weeks.  Never could remember to return it to the rack.  Total jerk move.  Being the one on that end of it... just mention it.  

“I recently lost a coat like yours...any chance it could be the one I lost?”  

If it is or isn’t, you’ll soon know if you’ll be able to recover it. 

By the way, years later I gave the coat I stole to a homeless man on a park bench on a sub zero night.  I felt a bit better but still am embarrassed for my sticky fingers. 

You can yell at me, if it makes you feel better. I deserve it. 

oh, no, no, no! I made an arrangement with the culprit, and we are exchanging coats on sunday! or earlier maybe!

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1 minute ago, bluebell said:

What did he say when you told him he had your coat?!

he said it felt weird and different and apologized! he wanted to make sure it was mine though and I told him mine had yellow stitching on the collar and he sent a photo and I sent him a photo of me wearing and the mop my dad bought and he had a change of heart! so, I dunno! I am getting it either tonite or on sunday! 

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1 hour ago, Duncan said:

he said it felt weird and different and apologized! he wanted to make sure it was mine though and I told him mine had yellow stitching on the collar and he sent a photo and I sent him a photo of me wearing and the mop my dad bought and he had a change of heart! so, I dunno! I am getting it either tonite or on sunday! 

So what happened Duncan, you seem a little tight lipped. Did he or didn't he steal it? Or if you prefer not to say, no problem.

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Just now, Tacenda said:

So what happened Duncan, you seem a little tight lipped. Did he or didn't he steal it? Or if you prefer not to say, no problem.

I think he accidentally took it, I don't think he stole it, there was another very similar coat in the coat room so he probably just grabbed the wrong one

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