HappyJackWagon Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 I've had some who are close to me suggest I'm experiencing a mid-life crisis. They may be right. I'm not sure. But whether I am or not, I think it began with a faith crisis that then became a faith transition which then may have become a mid-life crisis. Some evidence of a mid-life crisis they point to over the past year include... -Change in physical appearance - Grew beard for the first time - Allowed hair to grow long enough it has a wave and nearly touches the collar of my shirt - Started working out and watching what I eat - New Sunday attire- colored shirts and bright socks - New casual clothes that are a bit more stylish -Change in political beliefs -I used to be a huge political junkie. I've been on a year long fast from news and politics -Change in leanings on social issues, including SSM, -change in political affiliation from Republican to unafilliated -Change in religious beliefs -From ultra orthodox to NOT -From ultra orthorprax to less orthoprax in minor ways You get the idea. So my question is this. Is the outward change truly a mid-life crisis or merely a natural evolution or external manifestation of my faith transition? (I know you don't really have enough info to diagnose me but I'm curious about how you all might see a relationship between faith transitions and mid-life crisis)Can of worms opened...GO.
stemelbow Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 I've had some who are close to me suggest I'm experiencing a mid-life crisis. They may be right. I'm not sure. But whether I am or not, I think it began with a faith crisis that then became a faith transition which then may have become a mid-life crisis. Some evidence of a mid-life crisis they point to over the past year include... -Change in physical appearance - Grew beard for the first time - Allowed hair to grow long enough it has a wave and nearly touches the collar of my shirt - Started working out and watching what I eat - New Sunday attire- colored shirts and bright socks - New casual clothes that are a bit more stylish -Change in political beliefs -I used to be a huge political junkie. I've been on a year long fast from news and politics -Change in leanings on social issues, including SSM, -change in political affiliation from Republican to unafilliated -Change in religious beliefs -From ultra orthodox to NOT -From ultra orthorprax to less orthoprax in minor ways You get the idea. So my question is this. Is the outward change truly a mid-life crisis or merely a natural evolution or external manifestation of my faith transition? (I know you don't really have enough info to diagnose me but I'm curious about how you all might see a relationship between faith transitions and mid-life crisis) Can of worms opened...GO. I've experienced the same some years ago, closer to when I was 30 (I mean all of your bullet points hit me, save the stylish clothes thing). I couldn't call it a mid-life crisis then. Sounds more like natural evolution to me. "Faith crisis" and "faith transition" have never really resonated with me, but I'm sure if you're into that kinda talk they probably factor in.
jkwilliams Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 Speaking only for myself, questioning my faith led me to question other aspects of my life, as well. I did become less socially conservative, and way less of a political junkie. When I thought things through, I discovered that some of my political and social beliefs were directly tied to my religious beliefs. SSM is a good example; when I no longer had a religious reason for opposing it, I dug deeply into it and realized that I didn't find the arguments against it persuasive at all. My hair is still short, I'm still a Republican, and I'm currently a bit out of shape. But whether it's a mid-life crisis or tied to the faith crisis, I think you're just seeing that when you re-evaluate core beliefs, it has a ripple effect in your life. 2
Thinking Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 When you're in a mid-life crisis you get one of these. 3
HappyJackWagon Posted August 20, 2015 Author Posted August 20, 2015 When you're in a mid-life crisis you get one of these. It's on my list. I just need to find a job that will help me support a sports car infatuation.What I drive now is a little embarrassing
jkwilliams Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 It's on my list. I just need to find a job that will help me support a sports car infatuation.What I drive now is a little embarrassing I've told my wife that, just once in my life, I'd like to buy a car just because I want it. At least I can say that I like both of the cars I have now, but it would be nice to have something I bought just because.
ALarson Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 (edited) Speaking only for myself, questioning my faith led me to question other aspects of my life, as well. I did become less socially conservative, and way less of a political junkie. When I thought things through, I discovered that some of my political and social beliefs were directly tied to my religious beliefs. SSM is a good example; when I no longer had a religious reason for opposing it, I dug deeply into it and realized that I didn't find the arguments against it persuasive at all. This describes how I've evolved over the last few years. I feel I've become a real, genuine, honest person instead of someone who the church created (if you know what I mean). I grew up in Utah in a very Mormon environment, my parents and family were all staunch Mormons and I brought that into my own marriage and to raise my own kids. It's all I knew and I was happy but not anything like I am now. I think for myself and am more spiritual and closer to Christ than I've ever been. Edited August 20, 2015 by ALarson
jkwilliams Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 This describes how I've evolved over the last few years. I feel I've become a real, genuine, honest person instead of someone who the church created (if you know what I mean). I grew up in Utah in a very Mormon environment, my parents and family were all staunch Mormons and I brought that into my own marriage and to raise my own kids. It's all I knew and I was happy but not anything like I am now. I think for myself and am more spiritual and closer to Christ than I've ever been. I know what you mean. This may sound arrogant, but I feel like losing the foundations on which my life was built has made me a better person. I had to dig down inside to figure out what I really believed. It was easier just to accept what I was told without thinking too much about it. And no, I'm not saying church members don't think through their beliefs. I'm just saying I took a lot on faith without really thinking about it. 1
DBMormon Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 I've had some who are close to me suggest I'm experiencing a mid-life crisis. They may be right. I'm not sure. But whether I am or not, I think it began with a faith crisis that then became a faith transition which then may have become a mid-life crisis. For me we call it a "crisis of Faith" because of a un healthy tension #1 Psychology and social studies show that a faith transition of changing the location of your authority from outside yourself to within yourself and the leaving the paradigm of seeing things black and white to see shades of gray is a healthy progressive movement and is a sign of development and is normal and should be encouraged. #2. Most religious communities and especially those with strong truth claims will almost always see such development as back sliding or falling away and such development will be seen as a problem that needs fixed, changed, addressed. It is this tension that feeds cognitive dissonance in many instances and pushes those transitioning further away to a point that many choose to disbelieve and walk away becaue thier new paradigm is so foreign and seen as toxic by those who remain. Unless a faith community corrects such view to be more in line with normal development you, I, nad many many others will continue to see ourselves as distanced form our faith in some regards. 1
HappyJackWagon Posted August 20, 2015 Author Posted August 20, 2015 This describes how I've evolved over the last few years. I feel I've become a real, genuine, honest person instead of someone who the church created (if you know what I mean). I grew up in Utah in a very Mormon environment, my parents and family were all staunch Mormons and I brought that into my own marriage and to raise my own kids. It's all I knew and I was happy but not anything like I am now. I think for myself and am more spiritual and closer to Christ than I've ever been. This is great ALarson. I wish I could say the same. While I've been able to identify many things I don't believe and a few things I do, I haven't been able to replicate the sense of purpose and devotion I once felt. Even though my faith may have been placed in principles and practice I no longer believe, I don't feel the close connection with God like I once did. I haven't been able yet to find a meaningful way to tie my beliefs with an enlivening practice. I'm still very active in the LDS church and while some things still fit, many don't. This makes me think of the thread about taking sabatical from LDS church to experiement and search out something else.
Rain Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 If you can believe Wikipedia then a faith crises does nit bring on a mid life crises. In a nutshell, what I read says that many think they have a mid life crises, but it is not because it was caused by other things. A mid life crises only happens in 8-10% of people and is felt because of feelings about age. It is also much more common in western cultures.A lot of your symptoms could be explained by other things. My husband started working out because it helps prevent his panic attacks. His hair is quite long now because I have always cut it and it is balding enough on top that I don't know what to do with it so we have been trying to get him into a hair person that I trust. Basically, are you changing physical things because you are worried about aging and similar things? If so then those things could mean mid life crises. Or are you changing those things in reaction to your face crises? Then no, not mid life. 2
The Nehor Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 Just make sure to have fun with your crisis. I am planning ahead for mine. 2
mfbukowski Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 For me we call it a "crisis of Faith" because of a un healthy tension #1 Psychology and social studies show that a faith transition of changing the location of your authority from outside yourself to within yourself and the leaving the paradigm of seeing things black and white to see shades of gray is a healthy progressive movement and is a sign of development and is normal and should be encouraged.Yay! That makes me the poster boy for normalcy. So what's there to debate?Seriously? 1
HappyJackWagon Posted August 20, 2015 Author Posted August 20, 2015 Basically, are you changing physical things because you are worried about aging and similar things? If so then those things could mean mid life crises. Or are you changing those things in reaction to your face crises? Then no, not mid lifeNo. I'm not really worried about aging at all. It's more of an expression of freedom and experimentation of things I've never done or experienced. They're mostly little things that I never allowed myself to do so now that I don't feel I need to play a certain role I'm allowing myself to try new things and discard the things that bring me unnecessary stress (like politics). Until the last few months I've always tried to be very proper in every aspect of life. Now I'm almost rebelling against the cultural restrictions I placed on myself as part of what I believed the church expected.
mfbukowski Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 The key to all this is to have your crisis at the age of 20, then it is about growing up instead of having anything to do with midlife So next reincarnation,.... 1
Rain Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 No. I'm not really worried about aging at all. It's more of an expression of freedom and experimentation of things I've never done or experienced. They're mostly little things that I never allowed myself to do so now that I don't feel I need to play a certain role I'm allowing myself to try new things and discard the things that bring me unnecessary stress (like politics).Until the last few months I've always tried to be very proper in every aspect of life. Now I'm almost rebelling against the cultural restrictions I placed on myself as part of what I believed the church expected.Makes sense. So not a mid life crises though I can see why it looks that way.
Rain Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 The key to all this is to have your crisis at the age of 20, then it is about growing up instead of having anything to do with midlife So next reincarnation,....Unless you have both a crises when you are young and a mid life crises, though one of the things I read was that if you change careers earlier on then you are less likely to have a mid life crises.
BookofMormonLuvr Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 (edited) I am in this weird paradox where I am more religiously theologically Conservative now, because I accept the Law (Torah), but socially- on some issues- I am leaning towards "live and let live, and let God sort it all out". Legislating morality in the context of a secular government is really not feasible. Our focus should be on changing hearts and minds through preaching not government fiat. Forced morality is no morality at all. Edited August 20, 2015 by BookofMormonLuvr
Okrahomer Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 I have appreciated Elder Hafen's thoughts about "faith transitions." I think he has addressed it on more than one occasion, this is just one of those. He speaks about "3-levels" of faith, and how it is actually good to move from one level to the next. Maybe you can identify with a personal story he relates (copied below)--I did: "One Sunday morning, the Elders Quorum in our ward held a special testimony meeting characterized by spiritual warmth and personal openness. During that meeting, a fellow law student related a boyhood experience that had occurred just after he had been ordained a deacon. He lived on a farm and had been promised that a calf about to be born would be his very own to raise. One summer morning when his parents were away, he was working in the barn when the expectant cow began to calve prematurely. He watched in great amazement as the little calf was born; and then, without warning, the mother suddenly rolled over the little calf. He could see that she was trying to kill it. In his heart he cried out to the Lord for help. Not thinking about how much more the cow weighed than he did, he pushed on her with all his strength and somehow moved her away. He picked up the lifeless body of the calf in his arms and, brokenhearted, the tears running down his cheeks, he looked at it, wondering what had happened and what he could do. Then he remembered, he told us, that he now held the Priesthood and had every right to pray for additional help. And so he prayed from the depths of his boyish, believing heart. Before long the little animal began breathing again, and he knew that his prayer had been heard." "After relating the story, the tears welled up in his eyes and he said to us, 'Brethren, I tell you that story because I don’t know that I would do now what I did then. I think I might not expect the Lord’s help in that kind of situation. I am not sure that I would believe now, even if I relived that experience, that the calf’s survival was anything more than a coincidence. I don’t understand what has happened to me since that incident, but I sense that something has gone a little bit wrong.'” 2
jkwilliams Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 I am in this weird paradox where I am more religiously theologically Conservative now, because I accept the Law (Torah). That must be an interesting story.
BookofMormonLuvr Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 That must be an interesting story. Long story short... I had plenty of free time to read about 13 years back and decided to read the whole OT. By the end I realized that "the Law" was not, in fact, completely abrogated, and that the Appointed Times ("Feasts") and Dietary Laws, and other sundry laws, are both still applicable. It has been an interesting journey since then reconciling my Restoration background, and knowledge of the Book of Mormon as scripture, with that new-found insight.
jkwilliams Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 Long story short... I had plenty of free time to read about 13 years back and decided to read the whole OT. By the end I realized that "the Law" was not, in fact, completely abrogated, and that the Appointed Times ("Feasts") and Dietary Laws, and other sundry laws, are both still applicable. It has been an interesting journey since then reconciling my Restoration background, and knowledge of the Book of Mormon as scripture, with that new-found insight. So, you're not a fan of Peter.
ALarson Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 (edited) This is great ALarson. I wish I could say the same. While I've been able to identify many things I don't believe and a few things I do, I haven't been able to replicate the sense of purpose and devotion I once felt. Even though my faith may have been placed in principles and practice I no longer believe, I don't feel the close connection with God like I once did. I haven't been able yet to find a meaningful way to tie my beliefs with an enlivening practice. I'm still very active in the LDS church and while some things still fit, many don't. This makes me think of the thread about taking sabatical from LDS church to experiement and search out something else.I read that thread with great interest since I had taken a "sabbatical" awhile back (I just didn't call it that ). I'm back to being active now, but with an entirely different perspective and a new sense of freedom. The time off was really good for me to step back and just figure out what I believed. During that time, I had to rely on myself for spiritual time and growth (instead of just robotically going to church each week, listening to lessons, saying yes to callings and so on). It worked for me and I now have a very personal testimony rather than the scripted one I was supposed to have and felt I had to have before to be a "good" member of the church. It worked for me. I had & continue to have the support of my wife which makes it work too. Edited August 20, 2015 by ALarson 1
jkwilliams Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 I read that thread with great interest since I had taken a "sabbatical" awhile back (I just didn't call it that ). I'm back to being active now, but with an entirely different perspective and a new sense of freedom. The time off was really good for me to step back and just figure out what I believed. During that time, I had to rely on myself for spiritual time and growth (instead of just robotically going to church each week, listening to lessons, saying yes to callings and so on). It worked for me and I now have a very personal testimony rather than the scripted one I was supposed to have and felt I had to have before to be a "good" member of the church. It worked for me. I had & continue to have the support of my wife which makes it work too. My sabbatical is ongoing, though I prefer saying I'm an emeritus member, or I have released myself on my own recognizance.
ALarson Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 My sabbatical is ongoing, though I prefer saying I'm an emeritus member, or I have released myself on my own recognizance. Good for you I think everyone has to do what works best for them. I found that I missed many aspects of attending church, so going back has been good (on my terms). I'm lucky that I have a Bishop who knows me and supports me.
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