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I Am So Torn


stevedallas

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Posted

 

I was so excited to attend.  And they could have cared less that I was there......

 

I know one person that cared....

 

GG

Posted

Well, your ward is a tough commute

 

I just wanted to feel welcome.....

 

That Bishop needs to know how sad that is.  A guy shows up who left the church in 1989/1990, and now one makes him feel welcome.

 

I fully understand how you feel... after being away so long and finally to attend and... nothing...

You know, as I sat in Sac Mtg this morning, I  was praying that you would have a good experience so this disappoints me greatly...

But, this situation is one thing... how did you feel as you sang the hymns... or listened to the  speakers?  The two speakers at my meeting were wonderful... he is the new city manager...

His wife, who has just arrived, spoke first and told how she had stayed behind in Utah for a year to take care of selling the house, elderly parents, etc etc...  reminded me of you and your wife's situation of being temporarily apart.  But now she is finally here. 

 

You are still smarting from your disappointment... please take time to ponder the other parts of the meeting... and please don't give up...

 

GG

Posted

At least if you do come back, you know it won't be the social stuff that convinced you. :P  (I hope this doesn't come across as trivilizing your experience, I feel more like crying than laughing about it, but tend to react with snide comments when feeling uncomfortable about something)

 

It was never the social stuff....however, one thing I loved about LDS back 30 years ago was the camaraderie.  It was better than any other church I ever attended.

 

I bet if the Bishop got 10-12 calls he would wake up...lol

Posted (edited)

He just might if I know GG…and myself and a few others.   :)

 

If it wouldn't make you too selfconcious?

Edited by calmoriah
Posted

No.  I would call, but it seems too self-serving.  But he needs to know.  What if I chose, because of this, not to go back?  The Ward would have caused a soul to be lost

 

I know that sounds dramatic, but the members should be aware and friendly.  I mean, what if I get re-baptized....are the cliques so set that I would remain alone every Sunday?

Posted

Country Boy, you would probably get a calling of some sort, that way you'd get to know people.  Soon you'd hopefully get home teachers etc.  I'll bet the Texans will give you a big hearty welcome.  Today they probably didn't notice or if they did they probably thought you were visiting with a fellow member.  How big is the ward, if large then a lot of people sort of get lost in the shuffle.  Try again and see what happens maybe!

Posted

Country Boy, you would probably get a calling of some sort, that way you'd get to know people.  Soon you'd hopefully get home teachers etc.  I'll bet the Texans will give you a big hearty welcome.  Today they probably didn't notice or if they did they probably thought you were visiting with a fellow member.  How big is the ward, if large then a lot of people sort of get lost in the shuffle.  Try again and see what happens maybe!

it is not large at all.  I sat alone.  I was very noticeable.....just not very welcome

Posted

I have a friend who lives in the area and another friend got the bishop's contact info...(I was attempting to check it out for you), so we are set. am going to wait to see if I get anymore feedback for a day or two....plus writing closer to next Sunday (you will try again?) might be more effective keeping it uppermost in his mind.

Now if only my Internet doesn't keep going out on me.

Posted

it is not large at all. I sat alone. I was very noticeable.....just not very welcome

Maybe they thought you were one of the three nephites, or the three piece suit blew them away!! ;)

If your going to start going to church again. be careful not to get too offended. Just last week in church I said "hi" to my Relief Society president calling her by name and everything. But she just kept walking, pretty sure she had a lot on her mind. And there are two women in my ward that I've said hello to on numerous occasions and they keep walking. Maybe they don't think I'm talking to them. But pretty sure I say their names.

It'd be real easy to get offended in church, but we just need to keep swimming, as Nemo would say.

Posted

CountryBoy...

Did it ever occur to you that people might have been a little hesitant to approach you?  I know what you look like... and in a 3-piece suit you would present an imposing figure... I'm sure if you attend again, and introduce yourself to the bishop it would not take long for things to change...

In the meantime, I'm with  Cal...

 

from the beach on a most wonderful sunny afternoon... there is little wind so the beaches are really enjoyable...

 

GG

Posted

I do not think it my place to welcome myself to the Bishop.  If I am wanted, or welcomed, the Bishop, or someone...anyone...should have approached me.

 

Trust me...I am not giving up.  I will go to Sac Meeting SOMEWHERE next week.....

 

But...this is gonna be a long process if the missionaries and the people at ward show such little interest

Posted (edited)

I do not think it my place to welcome myself to the Bishop. If I am wanted, or welcomed, the Bishop, or someone...anyone...should have approached me.

Trust me...I am not giving up. I will go to Sac Meeting SOMEWHERE next week.....

But...this is gonna be a long process if the missionaries and the people at ward show such little interest

I can see how you feel, especially with a church with 80, 000 missionaries and the "every member a missionary" slogan!

For sure someone would have said something if you had attended Priesthood and Gospel Doctrine or Gospel Essentials class! Try to attend those if possible! :)

Edited by Tacenda
Posted

Some wards are better at greeting people than others.  CB, your situation is a good reminder to myself that we don't have any excuse not to  try to speak to people we don't know.  Who knows whether or not we may be the only one in an entire ward to make someone feel wanted and welcome.

Posted (edited)

I do not think it my place to welcome myself to the Bishop.  If I am wanted, or welcomed, the Bishop, or someone...anyone...should have approached me. [Emphasis added by Kenngo1969.]

 

Trust me...I am not giving up.  I will go to Sac Meeting SOMEWHERE next week.....

 

But...this is gonna be a long process if the missionaries and the people at ward show such little interest

That's the way it should work, but (while the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a divine institution), as with any other endeavor in which humans are involved, often, there can be quite a large gulf between "should" and "does."  I'm sorry you didn't connect with the missionaries on the first try, and I'm sorry your first visit to Church in so many years didn't go as well as you hoped it might.  If you were closer, I would work with you to rectify the second of those two slights.  (But I've got some free time on my hands: maybe I should fly out? ;))  Occasions such as these are, if nothing else, opportunities to develop (and/or to display) charity. I wish you well. :)

 

P.S.: Give your geographical ward at least one more chance.  Even if you find better fellowship in another ward in the short run, receiving approval for your record to be included among the membership of that ward (assuming you eventually rejoin) will be difficult (to say the least)!  Such an arrangement would require the approval of both wards' bishops, both stakes' presidents, and the First Presidency.  Trust me: as hard as it might seem in the short run to find fellowship in your geographical ward, receiving such approval from all parties involved will be even more difficult in the long  run.  

Edited by Kenngo1969
Posted

* sigh*  Good morning from the green and verdant Low Lands. Scanning this thread demonstrates the best and worst of the institutional church. While here on the internet, you have found support and welcome, when you went to your local, no one seems to care. But.  Someone did care very much.  He knows your heart and your intent. It would be nice if your ward fulfilled it's social obligations to visitors.  The church is made up of mortal volunteers. Regular mistake makers and, yup, sinners.  So as you become more and more active, maybe that is your gift to bring to the ward. A welcoming spirit.  Giving up on them might be disallowing yourself a wonderful blessing, and a real service to them.

 

On the other hand, it is your personal testimony that will bring you back into full fellowship with Christ and the Latter-day Gospel.. The ward does not matter in the end.  I can tell you horror stories about our institution here in the Netherlands.  Without a testimony, I would never ever bother to show up.  But I do every Sunday I am in land. ( And make a concerted effort to attend in every country we travel) Why?  because the Gospel is true. Temple work is necessary.  I cannot deny that which I witness to be true. Preparing for the Sacrament allows me to examine my conscience, partaking the Sacrament renews my vows of obedience, loyalty and commitment to Christ, who gave His very Life , for me.  NONE of that depends on the manners of the folks in the pews. But it does depend on me being in the pew, fulfilling my calling(s), sustaining THEM the best way I can.

 

Your heart is sending you into a refiner's fire.  Learn, my brother.

 

I will be thinking of you this day.

Posted

I am so humbled by the caring shown here.  I showed up as an anti.....began to feel a pull...and over the last 5 or 6 years have slowly worked through my issues to where I am today.  The only support I have had is a couple of LDS friends.....and you all here.

 

When and if I am re-baptized, you all here will be in my thoughts....and with me in Spirit.

 

Thank you all so very much

Posted

Good morning CountryBoy...

The post from "jana at jade house" above, warmed my heart with a good memory of her and her family.  In 2011 (has it already been 4 years, Jana?), Jana and her family were visiting the USA from their home in the Netherlands... they planned on visiting the Oregon Coast... Jana and I were MD&D board friends, so we arranged that while here in my area of the Oregon Coast they could stay the night with me... so they arrived one July Saturday afternoon... what a wonderful family... Jana, her husband and two teen aged children...

We had a good visit and the next morning everyone got ready and went to Church at my ward... I was so happy to have them with me in my little Lincoln City ward... At the time, Jana was having a minor medical issue that was bothering her... somehow a member of the bishopric (head of the hospital ER) found out about it (I don't even know how that happened, Jana), and he offered to check her out.  So they stepped into the Mother's room, did a quick look and determined there was nothing that needed attention, and she was able to continue with her travels...

I think of Jana and her family so often and the short time we had to visit, and enjoy seeing her on the Board and reading her words to you, CountryBoy... she has a wonderful heart...

 

from the beach... GG

 

Posted

Well....now I am do not know what I should do.  I can wait for Sunday.....but I am not sure what to do TODAY.....

 

Hang out with us... :friends:

 

GG

Posted

TIME DOES FLY!!!   Actually, I was so freaked out about my little medical issue that you bustled right up to him and clued him in , GG. IIRC ( Was he a member of the BISHOPRIC???  I am sure he had had a full day before I ever hove into view in that case , bless him.)  I was so grateful he took me in hand and reassured us that I could travel without expecting all kinds of mishaps. I felt quite ill by our journeys end, but I got home safe, blessed by Priesthood hands and heart.  That whole experience, introducing the mountain west, to my family, was wholly due to membership in the Church.  We were fellowshipped every mile, every state, every Sunday..  And I hope to visit Oregon again.  Those children are now 22 and nearly 21.  You'd be thrilled to see the adults they are.

 

CB.   Being a Saint is not a Sunday only event. You can do what the rest of us do (besides scan this website.)   Read the Scriptures.Pretend every time you study that you will be the teacher: prepare the lesson. Go to Lds.org and read the manuals for every auxiliary.  Find something you wonder about. Research it. Find free lecture from Yale and other places on you tube about the Old and New Testament. Pray.  Complete at least 4 generations of your family tree.  Work in a soup kitchen. volunteer at the hospital. Plan a wonderful free date night with your spouse. Plan a special just us outing for you and a special child ( unless you have one of your own, then that's the one)  write love letters to your grandparents, your parents, your best friend.  Pray some more.  Bless every meal. start a gratitude journal.

 

Really. There is someone on this website that does at least one of these things every single day. We are covenanted to be actively engaged.  The more repentance you seek, the more the Lord will work through you to accomplish good works of all kinds.  It come from within.

 

* goes off singing; Listen to Your Heart....*

Posted

Actually, I was hoping for something that would get my path on track....just not sure where to turn right now

 

What about the basics?  How are things with your daily prayers and scripture study?  What about fasting?  

 

I'm just throwing these ideas out there but they usually help me when i feel like I need something to refocus on spiritual things.

Posted

Actually, I was hoping for something that would get my path on track....just not sure where to turn right now

 

I think you know... how about turning to Mosiah 2 (page 147) through 6 (page 159)... followed up by Alma 32 (again), particularly verse 28,,, :give_rose:

 

GG

Posted

Sigh...I do not mind reading.  I do not mind praying.  But is stuff to do at the bus stop.  I wanna get on the bus.....get it started!

Posted

CountryBoy...

Did it ever occur to you that people might have been a little hesitant to approach you?  I know what you look like... and in a 3-piece suit you would present an imposing figure... I'm sure if you attend again, and introduce yourself to the bishop it would not take long for things to change...

In the meantime, I'm with  Cal...

 

from the beach on a most wonderful sunny afternoon... there is little wind so the beaches are really enjoyable...

 

GG

 

 

imposing?  me?

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