Should Those With Homosexual Preferences Serve Missions?

[volgadon]

I had a companion who pretty much everyone thought was attracted to men; he was definitely popping up on my gaydar. He was not the best missionary (think drama kid craving to be the center of attention who always wanted to play "Waterfall" on members' pianos instead of teaching lessons).

Sounds almost exatly like one of my least-favourite companions, though I know he wasn't gay. He was always chasing girls, one of our "wife in every port" set.

For all his massive rule-breaking he still found the time to give me an hour & 1/2 long lecture on why the Ensign should be pronounced so as to rhyme with "nine" instead of being pronounced "ensun." We were at home and no, it wasn't P-day.

[Facsimile 3]

Sounds almost exatly like one of my least-favourite companions, though I know he wasn't gay. He was always chasing girls, one of our "wife in every port" set.

For all his massive rule-breaking he still found the time to give me an hour & 1/2 long lecture on why the Ensign should be pronounced so as to rhyme with "nine" instead of being pronounced "ensun." We were at home and no, it wasn't P-day.

Haha. Though the "ensun" moment never happened with my companion, this seems like something that would fit into his character (trying to enforce the Utah nuances of the Church whenever possible). My companion was very savvy in Utah Mormon culture (his dad was fairly high up in the Church), but his gospel knowledge and ability to let doctrine soak into his character was tenuous.

Edited September 28, 2011 by Facsimile 3

[Cobalt-70]

I think gay and lesbian Mormons should be able to serve a mission openly and honestly. However, like straight missionaries, they shouldn't be having sex.

[Facsimile 3]

There is no nice way of saying this so I'm just going to say it very simply,

When you serve your full time mission, experience and rumors quickly inform you that the people to be feared the most as potential companions and the people who struggle the most with living the mission life aren't the gays, it's the home schooled kids.

Edited September 28, 2011 by Facsimile 3

[rpn]

There is no reason whatever that someone with same gender attraction who is worthy should not serve a mission. Even this discussion as though it is any of our business to limit others makes me sick to my stomach. And every companionship has issues of one kind or another --- getting along in spite of those differences is an important part of learning to have a life.

[Flyonthewall]

I hate to say this but there is the obvious issue of sexual attraction. Companion sets must stay together 24/7.

What is the reason why Elders and Sisters are not put together as a companion set?

Can members with same sex attraction serve honorable missions? Sure...as Daniel2 can attest to.

Can mixed gender companion sets do the same? We don't know, because it hasn't been tried, and with good reason.

Would it be possible for a mixed gender companion set to be successful and without incident if one were not attracted to the other? Sure, I would say it is possible.

Would it be possible for mixed gender companion sets to keep their attractions in check? I would say yes to that too. If it can be done once, it can be done by others too. But there is a reason it is not done.

This has nothing to do with worthiness or being good or bad, but more about logistics I guess.

Perhaps I am not seeing the whole picture...I am open to input

[Facsimile 3]

I hate to say this but there is the obvious issue of sexual attraction. Companion sets must stay together 24/7.

What is the reason why Elders and Sisters are not put together as a companion set?

Can members with same sex attraction serve honorable missions? Sure...as Daniel2 can attest to.

Can mixed gender companion sets do the same? We don't know, because it hasn't been tried, and with good reason.

Would it be possible for a mixed gender companion set to be successful and without incident if one were not attracted to the other? Sure, I would say it is possible.

Would it be possible for mixed gender companion sets to keep their attractions in check? I would say yes to that too. If it can be done once, it can be done by others too. But there is a reason it is not done.

This has nothing to do with worthiness or being good or bad, but more about logistics I guess.

Perhaps I am not seeing the whole picture...I am open to input

The Church does the best it can to protect missionaries, but at some point you have to be trust worthy on your own and capable of making your own decisions like a big kid. The Church does not exist to insulate members from the world nor to force the world to conform into perfect conditions to raise non sinning members, the Church and Priesthood through Jesus Christ exist to give missionaries and members power to overcome the ways of the world.

Maybe Haredi Judaism would be more of your cup of tea?

Edited September 28, 2011 by Facsimile 3

[Cobalt-70]

I hate to say this but there is the obvious issue of sexual attraction. Companion sets must stay together 24/7.

What is the reason why Elders and Sisters are not put together as a companion set?

Can members with same sex attraction serve honorable missions? Sure...as Daniel2 can attest to.

Can mixed gender companion sets do the same? We don't know, because it hasn't been tried, and with good reason.

Would it be possible for a mixed gender companion set to be successful and without incident if one were not attracted to the other? Sure, I would say it is possible.

Would it be possible for mixed gender companion sets to keep their attractions in check? I would say yes to that too. If it can be done once, it can be done by others too. But there is a reason it is not done.

This has nothing to do with worthiness or being good or bad, but more about logistics I guess.

Perhaps I am not seeing the whole picture...I am open to input

As long as at least one of them is straight, you don't have to worry about companions having intimate relationships. Putting two gay missionaries together probably wouldn't be smart, though.

[Flyonthewall]

The Church does the best it can to protect missionaries, but at some point you have to be trust worthy on your own and capable of making your own decisions like a big kid. The Church does not exist to insulate members from the world nor to force the world to conform into perfect conditions to raise non sinning members, the Church and Priesthood through Jesus Christ exist to give missionaries and members power to overcome the ways of the world.

Maybe Haredi Judaism would be more of your cup of tea?

Then why doesn't the church do mixed gender companion sets? Are Elders and Sisters not trustworthy enough to accoplish that? Are they not "big kids"?

I agree with what you have stated, and I think it is a matter of finding that point and drawing the line.

[Facsimile 3]

Then why doesn't the church do mixed gender companion sets? Are Elders and Sisters not trustworthy enough to accoplish that? Are they not "big kids"?

I agree with what you have stated, and I think it is a matter of finding that point and drawing the line.

If the general authorities haven't drawn the line, then I think you need not do their job for them; it never ceases to amaze me how often people would like to draw lines for others who are not under their stewardship. Having the Spirit means that we don't have to have a line drawn for us in all things. We are supposed to govern ourselves. God wants us to be receptive, engaged and creative in living the gospel. Has it occurred to you that Bishops let men with same sex attraction serve missions because the Spirit has confirmed that decision? What's the point of having a true and living Church without that ability?

Edited September 28, 2011 by Facsimile 3

[Kenngo1969]

... As Freud said, sometimes fondness for musical theatre is just a fondness for musical theatre.

Full disclosure: I'm going to see My Fair Lady next month. Heretofore, I was unaware that this particular selection might've revealed anything in particular about me.

[Hamba Tuhan]

How would you feel if you were a missionary with a companion with homosexual preferences?

How would investigators feel? Maybe they would never know, or would they?

How would anyone know? I struggle with all kinds of weaknesses/temptations that no one but the Lord and I know about. They don't define me. Instead of dwelling on them, I forget them and go to work. I did the same thing as a missionary. Problem solved.

Can you sense or discern whether someone has hetero or homo sexual preferences?

No. Word came back to me in my first area that one of the ward missionaries had 'detected' I was 'gay.' He was wrong. He was also, as we later found out, drinking at the time....

Would spending such time & in close quarters with someone of the same sex be appropriate for someone with homosexual preferences?

Absolutely no issue whatsoever for someone who is serving with all his/her heart. I personally can't think of a time in my life less susceptible to sexual anything than the two years I gave my all as a missionary.

Edited September 28, 2011 by Hamba Tuhan

[frankenstein]

I have a suspicion that this thread might be a Wii bit persona, with that, not all missions have to be go off to another place and live24/7 with a same gender companion. Service to the lord is service to the lord, in my experience priesthood leaders are more than willing to work with those who desire serv even if it is not a standard fulltime mission

[Storm Rider]

Just wondering what your thoughts are about those who know they have homosexual preferences, serving missions.

How would you feel if you were a missionary with a companion with homosexual preferences?

How would investigators feel? Maybe they would never know, or would they?

Can you sense or discern whether someone has hetero or homo sexual preferences?

In the Church our interest is leading all to Christ. We are not interested in knowing the specific proclivities of each member. We are all sinners and are in need of mercy from God. Those who serve missions have demonstated a willingess to be a disciple of Jesus Christ through obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. We all are able to recognize someone that is committed to following Jesus Christ regardless of any of their personal proclivities.

Do some people have an active, efficient gaydar? Yes, but if we choose and are sensitive we can discern many things about others. Those who can have learned to keep confidences simply because they have lived with the ability for so long. Spiritual discernment is not a license to gossip, it is a gift of the Spirit that is not abused; it just is.

Our brothers and sisters that have SSA tendencies have their cross to bear just as everyone else does. They can be just as obedient as any other follower of Jesus Christ. If they were to fail in their obedience on their mission the result would be the same as if any other missionary failed in observing the law of Chastity.

[why me]

I'm puzzled by the question...

I would think the answer to the OP would be the same as the answer to, "Should Those With Heterosexual Preferences Serve Missions...?"

Daniel2

Should young men with heterosexual preferences be allowed to share the apartment with a sister missionary? I think that the question is larger than we assume. For example: Homosexual young men are attracted to men just as heterosexual men are attracted to women. By sharing an apartment with the sex that one is attracted to can lead to problems. Now one can ask: can a heterosexual male share an apartment with a woman that they are not attracted to? Probably not in the church sense. With the mission field, the homosexual men will have several companions. What happens if he finds himself attracted to the male companion? What should he do? Excuse himself? Ask for a transfer?

I think that it is difficult for a homosexual male to serve a mission unless they are with the sisters. But then the sisters will feel uncomfortable. No easy choice that is for sure.

[sethpayne]

Someone I know well, was living with someone of the same sex.

Her brother told me "She's gay."

I'd never seen her show interest in guys.

Within the year, she's now serving a mission.

I know it's not my business... but I don't feel good about it.

You don't feel good about it because, as you say, it's none of your damn business. It is between the woman, her Bishop and Stake President, and Heavenly Father.

President Monson signed her mission call. Perhaps you should write him and express your concern and let's see what kind of response you get.

Edited September 28, 2011 by sethpayne

[sethpayne]

However, in order to make everyone else feel comfortable, the individual should probably postpone "coming out" until after the mission.

Why? The Church has repeatedly told us that SSA is not sinful. Are we not a community that should support and encourage one another rather than tell people to keep their struggles to themselves?

I'm not advocating that we all start blogs broadcasting our struggles to the world but sheesh .... why should we push anyone back into the proverbial closet? If a member is attracted to a person of the same sex, but attends the temple and are deemed worthy by their priesthood leaders, including the President of the Church, I would think that anyone who felt "uncomfortable" with that person is the one with the real problem.

Edited September 28, 2011 by sethpayne

[The Nehor]

Why? The Church has repeatedly told us that SSA is not sinful. Are we not a community that should support and encourage one another rather than tell people to keep their struggles to themselves?

I think he meant "coming out" to everyone. We are a community that supports each other but we shouldn't be revealing our temptations to the Church as a whole. Sometimes it helps to share with family and close friends but that is about it.

I'm not advocating that we all start blogs broadcasting our struggles to the world but sheesh .... why should we push anyone back into the proverbial closet? If a member is attracted to a person of the same sex, but attends the temple and are deemed worthy by their priesthood leaders, including the President of the Church, I would think that anyone who felt "uncomfortable" with that person is the one with the real problem.

Hence you probably should avoid telling those who would be uncomfortable.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Just wondering what your thoughts are about those who know they have homosexual preferences, serving missions.

How would you feel if you were a missionary with a companion with homosexual preferences?

How would investigators feel? Maybe they would never know, or would they?

Can you sense or discern whether someone has hetero or homo sexual preferences?

Sadly; I would say no, it would be tantamount to a Young Elder sharing an Apartment with a Sis Missionary for two years (no matter the self control). Maybe if they only served in the mission home with only the President and his Wife dealing with administration duties. I have a Gay Child and it breaks my heart to even type this. I speak with her on the phone and see her a number of times during the week, we are very close. Not to mention my Ward (before it dissolved) she used to attend every social and they treated her with nothing but love and kindness…she attended that Ward from birth to 20 years of age…she also encouraged my Son to go on a Mission and insists on that she help pay for his mission. If any have a problem with it I don’t care…I would give my very soul for her.

[altersteve]

As long as they're not involved in homosexual behavior, I'm fine with it. Simply being attracted to those of the same sex is not a sin and it may not be something they can control.

[Flyonthewall]

If the general authorities haven't drawn the line, then I think you need not do their job for them; it never ceases to amaze me how often people would like to draw lines for others who are not under their stewardship. Having the Spirit means that we don't have to have a line drawn for us in all things. We are supposed to govern ourselves. God wants us to be receptive, engaged and creative in living the gospel. Has it occurred to you that Bishops let men with same sex attraction serve missions because the Spirit has confirmed that decision? What's the point of having a true and living Church without that ability?

A line has been drawn. That is the reason Elders and Sisters are not put together as companion sets.

As a missionary we were to keep members of the opposite sex at arm's length. A handshake was as close as we could get. Why is that line drawn there? There are rules in the missionfield for missinories that are only applicable there...why? Are missionaries not able to govern themselves?

If the line is already drawn for hetero missionaries, why are gay missionaries exempt from that line?

[altersteve]

A line has been drawn. That is the reason Elders and Sisters are not put together as companion sets.

As a missionary we were to keep members of the opposite sex at arm's length. A handshake was as close as we could get. Why is that line drawn there? There are rules in the missionfield for missinories that are only applicable there...why? Are missionaries not able to govern themselves?

If the line is already drawn for hetero missionaries, why are gay missionaries exempt from that line?

Again, as long as he or she is not involved in homosexual behavior and is simply attracted to those of the same sex, there shouldn't be a line that needs to be drawn.

[sethpayne]

I think he meant "coming out" to everyone. We are a community that supports each other but we shouldn't be revealing our temptations to the Church as a whole. Sometimes it helps to share with family and close friends but that is about it.

Nehor, you make a good point and I fully agree that we should not get up in Sacrament meeting and broadcast our struggles. HOWEVER, I believe it is fundamentally unhealthy for a person to "hide" a part of themselves or pretend to be something they are not. In my ward there are several members who we all know are gay but choose to remain celibate. They don't broadcast it but they don't hide it either. These members teach Sunday School, talk in Sacrament meeting etc... and our Bishop certainly doesn't have a problem with it. Maybe some ward members do. Who knows.

I think we are on the same page but I have personally seen the hurt that can come when a homosexual person attempts to conceal who they are; either to themselves or to those around them.

Hence you probably should avoid telling those who would be uncomfortable.

Here is where we part ways, Nehor. Jesus spent his ministry around people who would make a lot of us "uncomfortable": lepers, prostitutes, sinners and the like. He lovingly called them to repentance.

It is often those who make us uncomfortable who most need our help: the homeless man in the Subway who smells terrible and looks terrible because he has nowhere to sleep and nowhere to shower, for example.

I think that part of following Jesus is to move outside our "comfort zone" and reach out to those who suffer. As Christians, I don't think we can pick and choose those whom we serve.

And just for the record, I struggle with helping people who make me feel awkward and uncomfortable just like everyone else. As a missionary did I enjoy going into homes on an indian reservation with cockroaches and rodents running around the living room? No. But I certainly learned a lesson and, I hope, moved closer to developing the type of charity Christ showed during his ministry.

Seth

[sethpayne]

Sadly; I would say no, it would be tantamount to a Young Elder sharing an Apartment with a Sis Missionary for two years (no matter the self control). Maybe if they only served in the mission home with only the President and his Wife dealing with administration duties. I have a Gay Child and it breaks my heart to even type this. I speak with her on the phone and see her a number of times during the week, we are very close. Not to mention my Ward (before it dissolved) she used to attend every social and they treated her with nothing but love and kindness…she attended that Ward from birth to 20 years of age…she also encouraged my Son to go on a Mission and insists on that she help pay for his mission. If any have a problem with it I don’t care…I would give my very soul for her.

++++++1

Pa Pa -- this is one of the many reasons I love you. You are a kind and loving father and a great example to us all.

[Senator]

Why? The Church has repeatedly told us that SSA is not sinful. Are we not a community that should support and encourage one another rather than tell people to keep their struggles to themselves?

I'm not advocating that we all start blogs broadcasting our struggles to the world but sheesh .... why should we push anyone back into the proverbial closet? If a member is attracted to a person of the same sex, but attends the temple and are deemed worthy by their priesthood leaders, including the President of the Church, I would think that anyone who felt "uncomfortable" with that person is the one with the real problem.

In principle I agree with everything you've said. However, as a people and as a church we are still just cutting our teeth to the idea of SSA. I don't think we're there yet. At least not according to the attitudes that I glean from the membership that I've associated with.