Dumbest of the Dumb Anti-Mormon Arguments

[oats]

I recall a video with a bunch of pencil necks trying to run around with some weighted bag to simulate Joseph running with the golden plates. I hardly recall what it proved. Probably that Mormons worship Satan and are going to Hell, I imagine.

[Mike Reed]

I had no idea. That is flippin' sweet. If only I could figure out how to simultaneously change into a super-hero costume while activating this web of sexual energy.

And all this time I thought it was simply a cotton/polyester blend...

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

And all this time I thought it was simply a cotton/polyester blend...

That is just great. I have never heard of this guy but he is clearly out of is gourd.

[Wiki Wonka]

Perhaps between us we could compile a Top 10 Dumbness List for criticisms by anti-Mormons.

I have to laugh every time I read this one from MormonThink:

Joseph's five brothers (and probably the rest of the household) that were sleeping in his room on September 21, 1823 would have been awakened by the presence of Moroni. They would have testified of his visit as well.

Apparently, the Church didn't get the memo. (Take a close look at the painting.)

[Bernard Gui]

I vote for the Dave Hunt/Godmakers scenario for the Mormon take-over of the US government:

Reagan runs for President with a Mormon VP candidate and wins the conservative vote, and the election.

Something "happens" to Reagan and the Mormon becomes POTUS.

The Mormon POTUS abdicates to the Prophet in SLC.

All the Mormons in government positions along with TBMs and their hoards of guns and ammunition

seize control, and voila,

The Mormons establish the Kingdom of "God" on the earth.

What's dumb is that the Mormons blew their chances by letting these two goofballs in on the secret.

Bernard

[3DOP]

Another:

That celestial marriages must be consumated on the Temple altar in front of the family and attendees- which is why we don't allow non-members to be present.

But its okay for members to watch?

Most of us should stick to supporting what we believe and being quiet about what we don't believe.

[Bernard Gui]

But its okay for members to watch?

To the pure, all things are pure.

Bernard

[Calm]

I have to laugh every time I read this one from MormonThink:

Apparently, the Church didn't get the memo. (Take a close look at the painting.)

Then there's the one where Moroni wouldn't have fitted upright floating in the loft where Joseph slept so it couldn't have really happened.

[earp]

Joseph the gold-digger. One of my favorites.

[mfbukowski]

What's dumb is that the Mormons blew their chances by letting these two goofballs in on the secret.

[rayhale]

How about this one; Missionaries perform the dusting of the feet ritual at investigators that don

[Garden Girl]

_{Dear People: I was a mormon for too many years, and we are all brainwashed}

[Jeff K.]

Garden Girl are you a United Mine Worker? UMW?

[selek]

Garden Girl are you a United Mine Worker? UMW?

Unparalleled Marsupial Wrangler

The last 'roo she tackled was trussed and docile in 3.8 seconds.

[Daniel Peterson]

This one, from Dr. John Ankerberg and Dr. Dr. John Weldon's immortal Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Mormonism, though deservedly little known, is a quiet favorite of mine (I quote from my review of their classic book):

Their eagerness to make the Book of Mormon seem absurd leads Ankerberg and Weldon into embarrassing error, as well: "One passage, for example, has it that huge numbers of attacking snakes 'herded' people and their flocks and built 'hedges' around them to prevent escape" (p. 302). Ankerberg and Weldon's reference is to Ether 9:31-33, which reads, in full, as follows:

And there came forth poisonous serpents also upon the face of the land, and did poison many people. And it came to pass that their flocks began to flee before the poisonous serpents, towards the land southward, which was called by the Nephites Zarahemla. And it came to pass that there were many of them which did perish by the way; nevertheless, there were some which fled into the land southward. And it came to pass that the Lord did cause the serpents that they should pursue them no more, but that they should hedge up the way that the people could not pass, that whoso should attempt to pass might fall by the poisonous serpents.

There is no mention in these verses of anything so ridiculous as snakes "herding" people. Indeed, the verb "to herd" never occurs anywhere in the Book of Mormon. And where is there any claim that snakes built "hedges"? Ankerberg and Weldon have fundamentally misunderstood the text (if they read it at all). Webster's 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language, perhaps our best source for the language of Joseph Smith and his contemporaries, knows the verb to hedge and includes among its meanings "to obstruct with a hedge, or to obstruct in any manner." Clearly, this latter is the meaning of the verb as it occurs in Ether 9:31-33. Ankerberg and Weldon should have known better, for the usage is typical of the King James Bible, as well. Hosea 2:6 records the Lord as threatening, "I will hedge up thy way with thorns." Job 3:23 asks, "Why is light given to a man whose way is hid, and whom God hath hedged in?" "He hath hedged me about," says Lamentations 3:7, "that I cannot get out." Do Ankerberg and Weldon imagine that God literally goes around constructing hedges about the wicked? Can they provide an example of this? And if they decline to read the Bible in so silly a way, why do they insist on misreading the Book of Mormon? Mark Twain, it is said, once offered some advice that might prove useful to Ankerberg and Weldon. "Get your facts first," he counseled, "and then you can distort them as much as you please."

From Daniel C. Peterson, "Chattanooga Cheapshot, or The Gall of Bitterness," FARMS Review 5/1:

http://mi.byu.edu/publications/review/?vol=5&num=1&id=112

[Manny]

This one came from Jim Robertson of Concerned Christians in Mesa, AZ:

At a weekly youth group meeting, he was invited to come teach the kids about Mormons. One thing he said was that in the mid-70s the church acquired a large interest in Pepsico, so it was permissible to drink Pepsico caffeinated beverages, but not Coca-Cola. He said he had a paper from the COB that laid it all out...but he forgot to bring it.

I later called him several times to ask him for a copy and he blew me off.

Funny thing: On my mission (in the Northwest), the hard core antis had it flipped around...we owned Coke, not Pepsi.

[Mike Reed]

That Brigham Young ordered that the Mountain Meadows Massacre monument to be torn down because he hated the symbol of the cross so much.

[Zakuska]

That Brigham Young ordered that the Mountain Meadows Massacre monument to be torn down because he hated the symbol of the cross so much.

Did some one say "crosses" <grin>

[littlechild]

Joesph Smith had a gun and defended himself, his brother, and his friends at his martyr

Those guns are on display at the Church History Museum in Salt Lake.

[Calm]

Those guns are on display at the Church History Museum in Salt Lake.

Yes, we know. Nice long thread about it too about a week ago.

----

How about our missionaries are so obedient they'd strap on a bomb and go suicide somewhere if asked to by their mission president?

[Jeff K.]

Yes, we know. Nice long thread about it too about a week ago.

----

How about our missionaries are so obedient they'd strap on a bomb and go suicide somewhere if asked to by their mission president?

Now that is just not fair. We all know blowing yourself up is less painful than a mission.

[ToGo]

This one, from Dr. John Ankerberg and Dr. Dr. John Weldon's immortal Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Mormonism, though deservedly little known, is a quiet favorite of mine (I quote from my review of their classic book):

Their eagerness to make the Book of Mormon seem absurd leads Ankerberg and Weldon into embarrassing error, as well: "One passage, for example, has it that huge numbers of attacking snakes 'herded' people and their flocks and built 'hedges' around them to prevent escape" (p. 302). Ankerberg and Weldon's reference is to Ether 9:31-33, which reads, in full, as follows:

And there came forth poisonous serpents also upon the face of the land, and did poison many people. And it came to pass that their flocks began to flee before the poisonous serpents, towards the land southward, which was called by the Nephites Zarahemla. And it came to pass that there were many of them which did perish by the way; nevertheless, there were some which fled into the land southward. And it came to pass that the Lord did cause the serpents that they should pursue them no more, but that they should hedge up the way that the people could not pass, that whoso should attempt to pass might fall by the poisonous serpents.

There is no mention in these verses of anything so ridiculous as snakes "herding" people. Indeed, the verb "to herd" never occurs anywhere in the Book of Mormon. And where is there any claim that snakes built "hedges"? Ankerberg and Weldon have fundamentally misunderstood the text (if they read it at all). Webster's 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language, perhaps our best source for the language of Joseph Smith and his contemporaries, knows the verb to hedge and includes among its meanings "to obstruct with a hedge, or to obstruct in any manner." Clearly, this latter is the meaning of the verb as it occurs in Ether 9:31-33. Ankerberg and Weldon should have known better, for the usage is typical of the King James Bible, as well. Hosea 2:6 records the Lord as threatening, "I will hedge up thy way with thorns." Job 3:23 asks, "Why is light given to a man whose way is hid, and whom God hath hedged in?" "He hath hedged me about," says Lamentations 3:7, "that I cannot get out." Do Ankerberg and Weldon imagine that God literally goes around constructing hedges about the wicked? Can they provide an example of this? And if they decline to read the Bible in so silly a way, why do they insist on misreading the Book of Mormon? Mark Twain, it is said, once offered some advice that might prove useful to Ankerberg and Weldon. "Get your facts first," he counseled, "and then you can distort them as much as you please."

From Daniel C. Peterson, "Chattanooga Cheapshot, or The Gall of Bitterness," FARMS Review 5/1:

http://mi.byu.edu/pu...=5&num=1&id=112

I don't know that I would find the following Ether-consistent paraphrase of Ankerberg and Weldon any less absurd:

'One passage, for example, has it that people fled from poisonous snakes pursuing them. When the fleeing people reached a land to the south called Zarahemla, the Lord caused the snakes to stop pursing the people but to bite those people that might later try to leave Zarahemla.'

[Garden Girl]

Garden Girl are you a United Mine Worker? UMW?

GG

[juliann]

I don't know if it is the dumbest....but I get the biggest kick out of the counter-cult crowd and their brainwashing obsession.

[Nightingale]

These ones mentioned in previous posts I wouldn't call anti-Mormon.

1. The Bible is error free.

2. All scripture has already been given.

3. Jesus is the only high priest.

4. Joesph Smith had a gun and defended himself, his brother, and his friends at his martyr[dom].

To me they are just statements of belief. A "Bible-believing" person (such as EV) believes as taught that the Bible is inerrant. How is that "anti-Mormon"? Same with #2. It is a tenet of [mainstream] Christian belief, as far as I know. Again, a belief held by many Christians, not an "anti-Mormon" criticism. Same with #3 - a statement of belief, not a statement of disbelief in someone else's beliefs.

As for #4, well, it is a statement of fact. How is that "anti-Mormon". I know there is a quarrel about whether you could accurately characterize the event as a "martyrdom". Again, to me, that is a difference of opinion and terminology rather than being anti-Mormon.

On the face of it, to me, these statements could not accurately be characterized as being anti-Mormon.

It could depend, however, on how they are used. Maybe that's what you mean? (tone, context etc?)

Often it is a discussion, a different viewpoint, a disagreement as to facts and evidence and interpretation. Every point of disagreement between Mormonism and other faiths is not anti. Perhaps looking at it in that way could reduce the idea that there are hordes of anti-Mormons stalking the earth and alleviate some of the feelings of persecution?

Also, bringing up Ed Decker as an example of how ridiculous the anti-Mormon arguments are is really reaching as he is demonstrably untruthful and clueless, at best. Maybe you acknowledge that there is a big difference between this and "legitimate" points of disagreement. Again, with these "legitimate" points, I do not classify them as anti-Mormon. For the poster who mentioned the Christian belief that there is no ongoing revelation (my paraphrase) that is not an "anti-Christian" statement from him, in my opinion, but rather a point of discussion about differing interpretations of Bible scripture. That is how I view like statements from Christians about other faiths.