Dumbest of the Dumb Anti-Mormon Arguments

[Scott Lloyd]

You forgot that there is an extensive network of tunnels under Salt Lake, dug by the Reptillian ETs in coordination with the Q15 (some GAs actually are Reptillians).

This one has an element of truth. There is a network of tunnels under Church headquarters, but it's mainly parking garages.

[selek]

Some that spring to mind:

Mormon missionaries have horns, hooves, a/o tails, and must file them down before they leave Utah.

The old saw about the "fair British maiden" who escaped polygamy by jumping from an upper window of the SL Temple into the Great Salt Lake and swam to safety.

The problem with the endeavor at hand is that the critics display so much rampant stupidity that there's too much to choose from.

How do you narrow it down to the purest form of inanity ? (Other than to get Hoops, Selah, Tchild, or Markk to claim it as their own, that is).

[Doctor Steuss]

This one has an element of truth. There is a network of tunnels under Church headquarters, but it's mainly parking garages.

Yessssssss... and that'sssss the only element of truth, my friendssssssss...

[structurecop]

No, I didn't forget it, but I would suggest that you forget it.

If you know what's good for you...

WIN

[Scott Lloyd]

This one might not qualify, because I've only seen it once, but years ago, I was on a message board where a guy argued that the Book of Mormon is bogus because use of the word "brake" in 3 Nephi 18:3 is bad grammar. I cited for him numerous references in the King James Bible where brake is used as the past tense for the verb to break.

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

The old saw about the fair British maiden who escaped polygamy by jumping from an upper window in the SL Temple into the Great Salt Lake and swam to safety.

This one is just bad. I saw the video that had this. I laughed my head off. I could not believe that they made that claim. This same video had portrayals of BY and blood atonement. BY pretending to slice his own throat and his belly, while being at the pulpit at GC. This of course was to signify that there were apostates in the crowd.

It dawned on my that the video made that claim that we (the LDS) sacrificed virgins in the Salt Lake temple and dumped their bodies out of the basement windows into the Great Salt Lake.

Of course it is possible that I am not remembering it correctly.

[ERMD]

My favorites (that document the frightening evils of Mormonism):

#1 - Temples are meant to prepare for the eventual Kolobian invasion.

#2 - There

[selek]

Yessssssss... and that'sssss the only element of truth, my friendssssssss...

He said "reptilians", Precious, not "Gollum".

[structurecop]

He said "reptilians", Precious, not "Gollum".

I always figured the Reptillians would draw out their "s"es.

[selek]

Anything that uses Superfriends (or Masters of the Universe) animation to "illustrate" Mormon belief.

[Scott Lloyd]

He said "reptilians", Precious, not "Gollum".

Perhaps he was affecting Ka the snake in "Jungle Book."

[Scott Lloyd]

Anything that uses Superfriends (or Masters of the Universe) animation to "illustrate" Mormon belief.

You can do that these days? I guess "Godmakers" was made too early.

[Jerubaal]

Jesus is the only high priest.

Hmmm, I don't know if it's the dumbest, but its probably the most frustrating for me. People never ask "Well then what the heck was Melchizedek?" I've actually been toying with writing a complete Mormonism-based commentary on Hebrews 7 to use refer people to in the future.

Nevermind, its pretty dumb. I think it stands a fighting chance to make the top 10, so I'll cast my vote for it.

[selek]

I always figured the Reptillians would draw out their "s"es.

Perhaps... but try re-reading Steuss's post again, as though it were spoken using the voice of Cobra Commander from the GI Joe cartoon of the early eighties.

If you know Steuss at all, the effect is both revealing and frightening.

[Scott Lloyd]

Joesph Smith had a gun and defended himself, his brother, and his friends at his martyr

A corollary: that the Church "hides" from members and investigators the fact of Joseph Smith having had a gun at Carthage, despite its being in numerous accounts, histories, lesson manuals, dramatic depictions, and at least one prominent museum exhibit over the years between 1844 and now.

[Jerubaal]

Here's one I just remembered, somewhat along the lines of Joseph Smith being called the author of the BoM on the title page:

The fact that the BoM uses the words "The End" at the end means it is proclaiming itself as a work of fiction!

When I told him the Bible does the same thing, he said it was only the LDS edition. So Ishowed him about a dozen different versions of the Bible that do that, and I don't remember what happened after that.

[Scott Lloyd]

The Bible forbids polygamy!

How about "The Book of Mormon forbids polygamy"? (It actually provides that God can and does institute it at will, monogamy being the default requirement.)

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

A corollary: that the Church "hides" from members and investigators the fact of Joseph Smith having had a gun at Carthage, despite its being in numerous accounts, histories, lesson manuals, dramatic depictions, and at least one prominent museum exhibit over the years between 1844 and now.

Careful Markk might see this thread and start over with his rant. Too bad you just don't understand the context of his remarks. Scott, how can you understand the history, doctrine and teachings of the church?

[wenglund]

In terms of shear irrationality, I think the fear-mongering on a certain un-named board about the Strengthen the Membership Committee, takes the cake, if not the hoopla over the alleged lavish salaries of the illusive paid apologists (after several decades, I am still waiting for my check in the mail)--not that either issue, or most any issue reaised by the critics, has anything to do with the verity and mission of the gospel of Christ.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[selek]

Another one- in the realm of dumb and offensive- was repeated to me with the best of intentions by a close friend and Navy buddy:

Mormons store heavy weaponry ( including anti-tank and anti- aircraft missiles!) as well as armored vehicles and tons of ammunition in store rooms and hangars under each Temple, and plan to use them to "purify" each city at the Second Coming

My family and I were taking him on a tour of the grounds of the Denver Temple. As we passed the water treatment plant about a mile east of the Temple (and the spire and statue of Moroni came into view) I announced, "There it is!"

My buddy missed the spire and had a moment of panic, thinking the stories were true and that the concrete slabs of the water plant were the entrances to the Temple.

He swears up and down he never believed the stories, but...

[Zakuska]

Heres one that rivals the Adieu argument in stupidity...

That a Virgin who was spiritied away by those dastardly Mormon Polygamists and held captive in the Salt Lake temple jumped out the 3rd story window and swam her way across the Great Salt Lake to freedom.

[selek]

Another:

That celestial marriages must be consumated on the Temple altar in front of the family and attendees- which is why we don't allow non-members to be present.

[Somebodyz]

We are all brainwashed, not allowed to get an education or think for ourselves.

That Joseph Smith was arrested and anyone who's been arrested can't be trusted and shouldn't be believed ..at this point I mentioned Jesus was arrested also.

Mormon women are meant to stay at home, preferably pregnant and are ruled by the Mormon men.

[Scott Lloyd]

That opinion about specific Book of Mormon geography is a more accurate determinant of Mormon orthodoxy than, say, belief in the divinity of Joseph Smith's calling or the authenticity of the Book of Mormon.

[Bsix]

My all time favorite dumb antiMormon argument is as follows:

The Book of Mormon is an obvious fraud because there is no way that Shiz could have done a pushup and gasp for breath after he got his head cut off by Coriantumr. (Ether 14:17)

The version of that argument can be seen over at MRM (Shiz gasping for Breath Without a Head.)

Almost as funny as the Shiz argument...is MRM's claim that LDS apologists use a 'gash-in-the-head' defense to explain away this Book-of-Mormon-destroying fact. (Shades of Monty Python..."'tiz only a flesh wound!)

Regards,

Six