Happiness and Cooking

[smac97]

I like to make food for my family.  I wouldn't say I'm a "foodie," but I enjoy preparing dishes, meals, desserts, etc. for my wife and children.  There are two main reasons for this. 

First, my wife and kids are big fans.  They enjoy my parmesan-encrusted tilapia, citrus shrimp, beef bulgogi, tom ka gai soup, masaman curry, lentil stew, and so on.  As I have noted previously:

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I've never understood the sentiment that disparages the cooking for and serving food to loved ones, or as a service to other people (in the Church, total strangers, whatever).  I really enjoy making meals for my wife and children, and they are happy to be on the receiving end of such efforts.  I have never felt demeaned or lessened for it.  To the contrary, I think my children will, when grown and gone, have fond memories not only of my wife's cooking, but mine as well.  It is, for me, a way of expressing love and affection.  And it's quite enjoyable to do!  For example, a few months ago I invented a new type of sandwich, which has become hugely popular with the kids, their friends, and my extended family.  It's called the Sunday Afternoon.  The fixings include: ciabatta rolls (Costco's are the best), coleslaw, Italian dressing, bell peppers, onions, cream cheese, sliced cheese (usually sharp cheddar, but pretty much any type will do), sliced meat (black forest ham or roast beef are best), tomato, and balsamic glaze.  

Second, there is something innately satisfying about giving food to loved ones.  A few weeks back, while I was in the kitchen preparing food, and as my wife and kids were sitting at the table eating what I was making, my wife jokingly referenced this scene from The Princess Bride:

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Grandpa: Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.

Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.

Westley: As you wish.

Grandpa: "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.

Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.

Westley: As you wish.

Grandpa: That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish," what he meant was, "I love you."

My wife then said: "That's how Dad feels.  When he is cooking for us, what he means is, 'I love you.'"

It was a funny moment, but then became a poignant one, because I realized my wife was quite correct.  I really do seem to be expressing love and affection through cooking.  It makes me feel good.

And it looks like I'm not alone.  See here (pardon the unnecessary vulgarity in the article's title):

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In a new study published last week by the University of Otago in New Zealand, researchers suggest that everyday creative activities like cooking and baking lead to increased wellbeing.
...
The research, which was published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, reviewed the diaries of 658 university students who were asked to keep a record of their daily activities and emotional states over 13 days. After analysing the diaries, researchers found that in the days following creative activities like cooking, participants reported higher levels of enthusiasm and flourishing (a psychological term that refers increased personal growth within oneself).

As well as things like painting, knitting, and creative writing, being busy in the kitchen was found to be "a means of cultivating positive psychological functioning."

Dr Tamlin Conner, psychologist and lead author of the Otago study, said in a press release that the new study highlights the importance of engaging in everyday creative activities: "Our earlier research found that positive affect appears to increase creativity during the same day, but our latest findings show that there is no cross-day effect. Rather, it is creative activity on the previous day that predicts wellbeing the next."

It's not the first time that scientists have explored the link between cooking and mental health. Cooking and baking is often used as a form of behavioural therapy to help improve mental ill health. Anecdotally, measuring out ingredients and following recipes has also been found to alleviate disorders like ADHD and reduce anxiety.

I think giving food to others fulfills a fundamental urge.  To nurture.  To care for and provide.

"{W}hen ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." - Mosiah 2:17

"And out of the ground made the Gods to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food." - Abraham 5:9

Thanks,

-Smac 

Edited December 24, 2019 by smac97

[The Mean Farmer]

I am right there with you.  

I do most of the cooking in my house.  And I try to provide the best food I can for my family because I have a desire to provide the best possible food, gifts, etc... for them.

 

You, as a human, HAVE to eat; so I try to make it the best experience possible.

 

 

[Tacenda]

13 minutes ago, smac97 said:

I like to make food for my family.  I wouldn't say I'm a "foodie," but I enjoy preparing dishes, meals, desserts, etc. for my wife and children.  There are two main reasons for this. 

First, my wife and kids are big fans.  They enjoy my parmesan-encrusted tilapia, citrus shrimp, beef bulgogi, tom ka gai soup, masaman curry, lentil stew, and so on.  As I have noted previously:

Second, there is something innately satisfying about giving food to loved ones.  A few weeks back, while I was in the kitchen preparing food, and as my wife and kids were sitting at the table eating what I was making, my wife jokingly referenced this scene from The Princess Bride:

My wife then said: "That's how Dad feels.  When he is cooking for us, what he means is, 'I love you.'"

It was a funny moment, but then became a poignant one, because I realized my wife was quite correct.  I really do seem to be expressing love and affection through cooking.  It makes me feel good.

And it looks like I'm not alone.  See here (pardon the unnecessary vulgarity in the article's title):

I think giving food to others fulfills a fundamental urge.  To nurture.  To care for and provide.

"{W}hen ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." - Mosiah 2:17

"And out of the ground made the Gods to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food." - Abraham 5:9

Thanks,

-Smac 

I love this! I always think of my dad and his homemade soups, sweet and sour chicken, his freshly caught trout he'd bottle, and the breakfasts he'd prepare. 

I read somewhere how much better the food will taste if the preparer (sp?) makes it with love. I have to agree with this! 

[Thinking]

My wife cooks most of the meals, then I do the dishes.

[sunstoned]

I believe cooking is a creative process.  Humans have an inert need to be creative, which means we are driven to create things: buildings, crafts, wonderful food, college courses, furniture, etc.   we derive satisfactions from our creative efforts, especially if they help or are appreciated by others.

Anyway, that is my .02.

 

[Meadowchik]

Any form of service can be edifying. Oprah talked about the potential of doing laundry being a spiritual experience.

That said, any type of unhealthy relationship can cause pain and hence resentment for associated tasks. And too, different minds and bodies means life can be difficult for some people in ways others cannot comprehend.

But it IS beautiful when joy folds into our relationships. May it keep!

[Prof]

I think I know what you mean. Growing up, my father, who was not a member, did most of the cooking. I think that he enjoyed cooking and doing it for us.

My mom does a lot of cooking now. She just made eight dozen cookies for a community event. Plus a bunch for neighbors and the families that she ministers to. She always makes meals for the sisters that are sick. Funerals as well. For her, it is service. I think it helps her feel appreciated as well.

Ward pitch ins are always fun. She always makes a big pot of chicken and noodles. We never take any home as they are usually all gone long before the event is over. Sometimes, they are Gone by the time I get to the food. I have learned to put a serving in the refrigerator at home before we leave for church, so I always get some!

 

[MustardSeed]

Cooking is a very loving act imo.  Now, when restaurants are on every corner in the US I find it too easy to simply grab food, never as comforting as an aromatic healthy home prepped meal. 

[Hamba Tuhan]

Research links cooking and eating together with heaps of positive outcomes in families, including prosocial behaviours. Kids are more likely to achieve at school, less prone to mental health issues, less likely to engage in promiscuous sex, etc. This all may be more correlative than causative, but the link is there and strong.

But yeah, it's an act of love at heart. I worked a full shift yesterday, that involved walking 22km. By the time I clocked off, I was tired and a bit cranky, but I still swung by the shops to get food for today. After a short nap on the lounge, I went to work boiling and chopping ingredients for two salads: potato salad with fresh dill and a pasta salad with sundried tomatoes (from Turkey), black olives (from Spain), artichoke hearts (from Italy) and pesto.

After getting home from our church service this morning, I glazed a beechwood-smoked ham with honey, brown sugar and French mustard and put it on to roast. This was followed by slicing and assembling a salad of vine-ripened tomatoes, Lebanese cucumbers, bocconcini and fresh coriander -- which was dressed simply with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt and cracked pepper before serving.

For drink, I mixed concord grape juice (from America) with fresh lime wedges and sparkling lemonade.

My housemates and I then shared this gift of love with one of my non-member friends and an elderly migrant sister who was baptised six years ago. We ate and laughed and talked for two hours. I then took a container of leftovers to a ward member in hospital, who recently had a hip replacement. Whilst I was there, another family and then another individual from the ward all showed up with more food. The message was clear: we love you.

Happiest of Christmases, everyone!

 

[smac97]

40 minutes ago, Hamba Tuhan said:

Research links cooking and eating together with heaps of positive outcomes in families, including prosocial behaviours. Kids are more likely to achieve at school, less prone to mental health issues, less likely to engage in promiscuous sex, etc. This all may be more correlative than causative, but the link is there and strong.

But yeah, it's an act of love at heart. I worked a full shift yesterday, that involved walking 22km. By the time I clocked off, I was tired and a bit cranky, but I still swung by the shops to get food for today. After a short nap on the lounge, I went to work boiling and chopping ingredients for two salads: potato salad with fresh dill and a pasta salad with sundried tomatoes (from Turkey), black olives (from Spain), artichoke hearts (from Italy) and pesto.

After getting home from our church service this morning, I glazed a beechwood-smoked ham with honey, brown sugar and French mustard and put it on to roast. This was followed by slicing and assembling a salad of vine-ripened tomatoes, Lebanese cucumbers, bocconcini and fresh coriander -- which was dressed simply with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt and cracked pepper before serving.

For drink, I mixed concord grape juice (from America) with fresh lime wedges and sparkling lemonade.

My housemates and I then shared this gift of love with one of my non-member friends and an elderly migrant sister who was baptised six years ago. We ate and laughed and talked for two hours. I then took a container of leftovers to a ward member in hospital, who recently had a hip replacement. Whilst I was there, another family and then another individual from the ward all showed up with more food. The message was clear: we love you.

Happiest of Christmases, everyone!

 

Wonderful stuff!  Thank you for sharing.  Happy Christmas!

[Bernard Gui]

23 hours ago, smac97 said:

I like to make food for my family.  I wouldn't say I'm a "foodie," but I enjoy preparing dishes, meals, desserts, etc. for my wife and children.  There are two main reasons for this. 

First, my wife and kids are big fans.  They enjoy my parmesan-encrusted tilapia, citrus shrimp, beef bulgogi, tom ka gai soup, masaman curry, lentil stew, and so on.  As I have noted previously:

Second, there is something innately satisfying about giving food to loved ones.  A few weeks back, while I was in the kitchen preparing food, and as my wife and kids were sitting at the table eating what I was making, my wife jokingly referenced this scene from The Princess Bride:

My wife then said: "That's how Dad feels.  When he is cooking for us, what he means is, 'I love you.'"

It was a funny moment, but then became a poignant one, because I realized my wife was quite correct.  I really do seem to be expressing love and affection through cooking.  It makes me feel good.

And it looks like I'm not alone.  See here (pardon the unnecessary vulgarity in the article's title):

I think giving food to others fulfills a fundamental urge.  To nurture.  To care for and provide.

"{W}hen ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." - Mosiah 2:17

"And out of the ground made the Gods to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food." - Abraham 5:9

Thanks,

-Smac 

This is great! Thanks for sharing it.

Since I retired and Sister Gui continues to teach kindergarten, I have become Mr Mom. I cook all the food. It gives me great pleasure to prepare food for her. Her favorite dinners are ratatouille, cioppino, and Polish bigos and cabbage rolls. If you haven’t had bigos you haven’t lived.

We had an English theme for Christmas Eve dinner this year so I made two Beef Wellingtons (with London broil, not tenderloin) and a large prime rib. Others brought roasted potatoes, Brussels sprouts, buttered green beans, Yorkshire puddings, and trifle. Our son Artisticosso and his son sang “Roast Beef of Olde England.” Previous years we did Mexican, New Mexican, and Polish. Next year we want to do Korean.

I believe it is profoundly significant that Jesus always shared food In the most intimate times with his friends. 

 

 

[Tacenda]

My son and his wife from Boise, surprised us, they brought all the fixings for spaghetti and meatballs, and they brought a machine and ingredients for raspberry homemade ice-cream, so I got the night off.

[Meadowchik]

8 hours ago, Bernard Gui said:

This is great! Thanks for sharing it.

Since I retired and Sister Gui continues to teach kindergarten, I have become Mr Mom. I cook all the food. It gives me great pleasure to prepare food for her. Her favorite dinners are ratatouille, cioppino, and Polish bigos and cabbage rolls. If you haven’t had bigos you haven’t lived.

We had an English theme for Christmas Eve dinner this year so I made two Beef Wellingtons (with London broil, not tenderloin) and a large prime rib. Others brought roasted potatoes, Brussels sprouts, buttered green beans, Yorkshire puddings, and trifle. Our son Artisticosso and his son sang “Roast Beef of Olde England.” Previous years we did Mexican, New Mexican, and Polish. Next year we want to do Korean.

I believe it is profoundly significant that Jesus always shared food In the most intimate times with his friends. 

 

 

We did prime rib and brussel sprouts as well, with goose fat potatoes. But today was brunch all day, my eldest did most of the cooking which was very welcome help.

 

[BlueDreams]

That’s nice. Both my husband and i like cooking so it can be a bit of a toss up as to who cooks weekend meals, the meals we’re most likely to share together. Though we cook different things, we have similar styles: few recipes, spazzy, and veggie/fruit heavy. Christmas dinner’s aiming to be his endeavor in the future though. We decided to take a few of our favorite traditions from our childhood/cultures to start with our own. We both agreed on a peruvian xmas meal instead of an US one, particularly since it’s basically thanksgiving again. It was delish!

On the nurturing note, food’s been on my mind as we’ve been working with our daughter’s medical team and introducing solids to her diet. She has a rare genetic condition which messes with how she processes proteins. It’s mild and hasn’t noticeably affected her, but it basically means she’ll be on meds and  basically a vegetarian diet for the rest of her life. I’ve never been so grateful that my diet veered away from my family’s eons ago and prepped me to take on her needs. One concern i’ve had as a therapist with implementing this is to to do so in a way that feels fairly natural while avoiding the pitfalls that could come. Some of what I was hearing from others who had similar dietary concerns were, well, concerning and preludes to disordered eating later in life. I can feel how important it is to care for her through her meals, giving her the proper nutrition while teaching her how to love good meals and her body through them.

 

With luv,

BD