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I Need a Discord Expert


MorningStar

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My 15-year-old likes to do online gaming with his friends.  I saw some nasty talk in an open window on my computer from his profile and he's claiming it's a friend he added to run his server because he knows more stuff than he does.  He says he is still admin and can boot him off, but they share the password to the account.  I don't know anything about Discord!  Thought I would do some research before I tell him I know he's lying.   *sigh*  He first told me he felt he needed to get rid of some friends, but I felt like this was preemptive because he suspected I saw the conversation. 

My boys are all banned from games for the time being because I don't feel like I can stay on top of this stuff right now.  Or maybe ever.  They have way more important things to be working on. 

Anyway, can anyone verify whether you can just add a friend to your server on Discord or not.  I will need to present the facts to him. 

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I really don't know a lot about Discord (heard of it, seen it, never used it), but as a person that makes his living in the I.T. field: Sharing passwords is NEVER a good idea.

To me, computers that kids use should be in a high traffic area of the home - yes that's old fashioned but kids (and adults) can get into a lot of trouble on a computer and if they know there's a good chance someone will see what they are dong, it keeps them on the right path.

Edited by mnn727
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I wouldn't care.  If he has shared his password, that means he thinks this guy is upright enough to be willing to take the fall for whatever he does.  So he's responsible whether it was someone else or not.  It is a valuable lesson to learn not to share your passwords with anyone, but if you are stupid enough to do that with someone other than your parents before you are 18, then be sure it is someone whose behavior is not going to reflect badly on you.

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12 hours ago, MorningStar said:

My 15-year-old likes to do online gaming with his friends.  I saw some nasty talk in an open window on my computer from his profile and he's claiming it's a friend he added to run his server because he knows more stuff than he does.  He says he is still admin and can boot him off, but they share the password to the account.  I don't know anything about Discord!  Thought I would do some research before I tell him I know he's lying.   *sigh*  He first told me he felt he needed to get rid of some friends, but I felt like this was preemptive because he suspected I saw the conversation. 

If they want to game, then they need to learn how to game smartly.  Sharing passwords is NEVER necessary and every gaming site will tell you to NEVER do it.  You don't even share passwords EVER with game admins.  Putting aside the obvious bad moral influences, other gaming-centric concern include making charges to your account, his behavior getting you banned/reported, messing up rankings, and hi ability to sabotage your account/computer.  If he wants to be admin, then he needs to learn how to properly admin, which includes NEVER sharing passwords/accounts.

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2 hours ago, mnn727 said:

I really don't know a lot about Discord (heard of it, seen it, never used it), but as a person that makes his living in the I.T. field: Sharing passwords is NEVER a good idea.

To me, computers that kids use should be in a high traffic area of the home - yes that's old fashioned but kids (and adults) can get into a lot of trouble on a computer and if they know there's a good chance someone will see what they are dong, it keeps them on the right path.

Our computer is in the kitchen and we can hear him talking to people, but can't always see what he and others are writing.  With Steam, I'm pretty sure you can't look up chat history, but I don't know with Discord.  The conversation was already open for me to read.  Really clueless about these apps.  I have three teenage boys and it's getting harder and harder dealing with various challenges.  One of them got a DS for Christmas and immediately asked if he could get online with it.  No.  So I blocked it from the Internet, but he hacked the parental code and had been using it online for 4 months! And then when I told him I knew he started an Instagram account, he lied and said he didn't.  I got into his email and there was a welcome message from Instagram.  I've had some really bad experiences in the past and I become physically ill when those I love lie to me.  

I told my kids not to ask for any electronics or accessories for Christmas because they're not getting any.  I am absolutely exhausted right now.  I have 5 kids including a 2-year-old and my dad is fighting cancer.  If my boys can't do as they were taught and be honest, then they aren't going to play period.  Today I'm going to sit my son down and make him show me the things he talked about in Discord.   He said he can boot the potty mouth talking friend from his server.  Oh, good. When he gets home from school, I'm going to sit him down and he can show me how he does it.  If he resists, then I'll know he's lying for sure.  Then I'll know he did in fact tell his friends that I am a B.  Oh yeah?  GET OFF THE B'S COMPUTER!  Monopolize MY computer that was my supposed birthday present for hours and have the nerve to disrespect me on it?  

So either my son is a profane liar or he's a foolish boy who let a profane boy have his password and make him look really, really bad. I'm not a fan of either one.

 

 

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29 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

If they want to game, then they need to learn how to game smartly.  Sharing passwords is NEVER necessary and every gaming site will tell you to NEVER do it.  You don't even share passwords EVER with game admins.  Putting aside the obvious bad moral influences, other gaming-centric concern include making charges to your account, his behavior getting you banned/reported, messing up rankings, and hi ability to sabotage your account/computer.  If he wants to be admin, then he needs to learn how to properly admin, which includes NEVER sharing passwords/accounts.

Agreed.  I'm just trying to determine if the scenario he described is even possible.  He has been foolish before, so it might be true, in which case he's still losing his computer privileges for a long time.  

Edited by MorningStar
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3 hours ago, MorningStar said:

Agreed.  I'm just trying to determine if the scenario he described is even possible.  He has been foolish before, so it might be true, in which case he's still losing his computer privileges for a long time.  

It is possible.  Doesn't mean it's necessarily what happened 100%, but it is a possible situation.

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He can boot the guy and then invite him right back.

He probably said they were sharing a password for one of two reasons. Either he wrote it and was trying to foist it off or he did not and was just coming up with a bizarre excuse why he was gaming with this guy.

I obviously do not know your situation but if they are going to play online at all they are going to be exposed to vulgarity. I would be careful. They know if they tell the truth about online gaming you will ban them so they have a strong incentive to lie to you.

Be careful. I think back to when I was a teenager. My well meaning parents tried to block web access to “bad stuff”. The blocks were so annoying that even though I was not looking for porn I quickly came up with a bypass. My parents were convinced modem gaming was dangerous so me and some of my church friends agreed to meet online at 2 in the morning to play Warcraft 2. Most blocks were easy to break and I was not even trying to do anything wrong. If you try to control things you are unlikely to be able to control it may lead to problems in the future.

You know your situation better then I do so sorry if I am way off here. Good luck.

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3 hours ago, The Nehor said:

He can boot the guy and then invite him right back.

He probably said they were sharing a password for one of two reasons. Either he wrote it and was trying to foist it off or he did not and was just coming up with a bizarre excuse why he was gaming with this guy.

I obviously do not know your situation but if they are going to play online at all they are going to be exposed to vulgarity. I would be careful. They know if they tell the truth about online gaming you will ban them so they have a strong incentive to lie to you.

Be careful. I think back to when I was a teenager. My well meaning parents tried to block web access to “bad stuff”. The blocks were so annoying that even though I was not looking for porn I quickly came up with a bypass. My parents were convinced modem gaming was dangerous so me and some of my church friends agreed to meet online at 2 in the morning to play Warcraft 2. Most blocks were easy to break and I was not even trying to do anything wrong. If you try to control things you are unlikely to be able to control it may lead to problems in the future.

You know your situation better then I do so sorry if I am way off here. Good luck.

I am concerned about that aspect of him trying to be more sneaky, but this is beyond just dropping a bad word here and there.  He is also talking to people who he doesn't know in real life, shared a photo of a girl who asked him out (which he shouldn't do without her permission), and then he got himself an ebay account without permission.  Oh yeah, started entering YouTube giveaways that aren't legit and require you to enter your email in the comments.  He is out of control!  He has to do homework on the computer, but the second I turn around, he's installing apps without asking and playing yet another game.  And it's always something that is a big time suck.  "I'm on a team!"  "We're in a tournament!"  

Last year he nagged and nagged and nagged that he found a PS4 on eBay for $40. I said, "It's a scam."   He said, "No, sometimes people are rich and just want to give people a great deal or they work for the company or something!"  I said, "No, that's not true."  He was acting like I was ruining Christmas, so I finally said, "OK.  Let's order it."  The next morning there was a message saying it wasn't legit and told him a refund had to be requested. I said, "Let that be a lesson to you that when things sound too good to be true, they are."  After that was when he started entering fake YouTube giveaways and I had told him he wasn't allowed to surf YouTube period!  He had begged me for permission to buy a laptop for months.  "I can do my homework on it!  I can help you edit your videos!"  Well, he got it and it was all about gaming and he wasn't following the rules. 

Another issue is that for some reason, my computer that was purchased at Best Buy doesn't seem to have a legitimate copy of Windows, so I can't do certain things with it because it's not registered.  Maybe my son screwed up when he set it up?  I don't know.  I wasn't in the mood to do anything with it at the moment because my dad had just barely been diagnosed with cancer.  The sticker with the license key was peeled off too.  >:(  My son keeps saying, "You can get them really cheap on Amazon."  "THEN IT'S NOT LEGITIMATE!"  

For my birthday, he went with my husband to pick out a computer for me, he unboxed it, set it up, and immediately asked to play games on it (because his laptop isn't powerful enough or something).  I said, "Did you pick this out for you or me?"  He started putting gaming apps on it and I told him, "Don't you dare install another thing."  I have Windows 10 and I'm trying to figure out if there's a way to set up a password in order to install anything.  His laptop hit the floor and it killed the hard drive, so now when he "needs to do his homework", he monopolizes my computer either by gaming or voice chatting loudly after maybe 5 entire minutes of homework.  I teach piano and can't constantly monitor him during homework hours.  If the library were close/safe enough to walk to, I would tell him that's where he's doing his homework from now on.  Time limit is an hour on library computers .

It's only added fun that I think he's telling a huge lie and he knows those chats come up for me to see, so why would he say such disgusting things?  I have grounded him for a week at a time, such as when he brought his laptop to his study hall and played csgo in there.  I was on the home computer and when I log in, it looks like he's on.  His friend messaged him and said, "Why aren't you at school?"  He said, "I am.  I played csgo during study hall."  I joined the chat and said, "This is your mother.  I do not approve."  This was against his teachers' rules, so I told them both (two of them were over that class) and he was banned from his laptop for a  week.  He had a meltdown over it, but I had told him for months before the laptop purchase that I didn't want it to become a source of contention, but is exactly what happened.  

And then I have two other boys who want to play on the computer.  I was finally able to remove Steam.  I kept getting an error message.  One needs to focus on preparing for his mission and college.  He didn't get his Eagle like he supposedly wanted.  The other two want their Eagles, but we had a chat the other night where I told them they didn't have plenty of time like they think and they're not going to reach their goal if they're wasting time gaming.

My 13-year-old and I have been seeing a therapist at LDS Family Services because he's having his own issues and I don't know how to deal with him my boys right now.  They've been struggling especially since we moved.  We've been pulling the WiFi plug on Sundays, so that's one thing that's changed. I hate that my son feels like he has no social life unless he does online gaming.  

 

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Rather than flat-out banning him from the computer and on-line activities, I would focus on teaching him how to do these things safely.  If you're being viewed as the "old out of date" mom, have a younger person you know teach him.  Computers and the internet are part of are world now, and part of raising children is teaching them how to harness these resources, rather than being ruled by them.  

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49 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

Rather than flat-out banning him from the computer and on-line activities, I would focus on teaching him how to do these things safely.  If you're being viewed as the "old out of date" mom, have a younger person you know teach him.  Computers and the internet are part of are world now, and part of raising children is teaching them how to harness these resources, rather than being ruled by them.  

I have been teaching him, but he's not getting it and he's putting himself at risk. :(  Here's an example of a conversation with my son.  He was absolutely furious because he opened up his laptop to try to fix it, left it on the kitchen counter with the tiny screws laying around, and started yelling that people keep losing the screws.  It's been sitting there for months.  

Him:  PEOPLE KEEP LOSING MY SCREWS!!!!

Me:  You should find a better place to keep that.

Him:  IT IS A GOOD PLACE TO KEEP IT, BUT PEOPLE KEEP ON TOUCHING IT!

Me: If people keep on touching it, then it's not a good place to keep it.  

Lather, rinse, repeat.  He will keep insisting it's a great place while claiming victim status.  He could just put the screws back in until he has the money to have it repaired.  That was another issue.  He started using it on the counter top and took it over with a giant mouse pad (for gaming) without asking. 

He can use email, school stuff, etc., but I don't want him talking to strangers online. 

 

 

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51 minutes ago, MorningStar said:

I have been teaching him, but he's not getting it and he's putting himself at risk. :(  Here's an example of a conversation with my son.  He was absolutely furious because he opened up his laptop to try to fix it, left it on the kitchen counter with the tiny screws laying around, and started yelling that people keep losing the screws.  It's been sitting there for months.  

Him:  PEOPLE KEEP LOSING MY SCREWS!!!!

Me:  You should find a better place to keep that.

Him:  IT IS A GOOD PLACE TO KEEP IT, BUT PEOPLE KEEP ON TOUCHING IT!

Me: If people keep on touching it, then it's not a good place to keep it.  

Lather, rinse, repeat.  He will keep insisting it's a great place while claiming victim status.  He could just put the screws back in until he has the money to have it repaired.  That was another issue.  He started using it on the counter top and took it over with a giant mouse pad (for gaming) without asking. 

Definitely frustrating.  Parenting takes frustration to a whole new level.  

51 minutes ago, MorningStar said:

He can use email, school stuff, etc., but I don't want him talking to strangers online. 

Again, he needs to be learned how to do it safely.  

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Some kids refuse to learn or cannot in normal circumstances.  You might be able to teach them if you could focus 24/7 on them, but not only are they out of your control a good portion of the day, but when there are other kids that also need your attention, basic needs like housecleaning, and having to bring in income...well, no matter how much you want to, you can't provide what they need to learn.  

Not sure what the options are as they are probably different for each family.

Edited by Calm
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2 hours ago, MorningStar said:

For my birthday, he went with my husband to pick out a computer for me, he unboxed it, set it up, and immediately asked to play games on it (because his laptop isn't powerful enough or something).  I said, "Did you pick this out for you or me?"  He started putting gaming apps on it and I told him, "Don't you dare install another thing."  I have Windows 10 and I'm trying to figure out if there's a way to set up a password in order to install anything.  His laptop hit the floor and it killed the hard drive, so now when he "needs to do his homework", he monopolizes my computer either by gaming or voice chatting loudly after maybe 5 entire minutes of homework.  I teach piano and can't constantly monitor him during homework hours.  If the library were close/safe enough to walk to, I would tell him that's where he's doing his homework from now on.  Time limit is an hour on library computers .

On Windows 10 (and most other operating systems: Apple, Linux), you can create multiple accounts and give those accounts different permissions.  You could create a separate account just for your boys that is not an administrator.  They then shouldn't have any access to install things or mess up the computer.  Just ensure that your own password is not easily guessable by them.

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9 minutes ago, webbles said:

On Windows 10 (and most other operating systems: Apple, Linux), you can create multiple accounts and give those accounts different permissions.  You could create a separate account just for your boys that is not an administrator.  They then shouldn't have any access to install things or mess up the computer.  Just ensure that your own password is not easily guessable by them.

Thank you!  That brings me back to needing a licensed copy of windows since mine isn't registering as real for some reason.  I can't do separate accounts until it's licensed.  Need to ask a MS friend for an override.  

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24 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

Definitely frustrating.  Parenting takes frustration to a whole new level.  

Again, he needs to be learned how to do it safely.  

He knows the rules, but he blows us off.   My husband and I have both chewed him out for giving out personal info to people he doesn't know on voice chat on discord and Steam. He thinks as long as it's another teenage kid (that he knows of), it's fine.  The idea of giving him additional chances to possibly create a giant problem isn't something I can deal with right now.  I'm worried about him and I'm worried about him downloading malware through someone he can supposedly trust. 

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13 hours ago, webbles said:

On Windows 10 (and most other operating systems: Apple, Linux), you can create multiple accounts and give those accounts different permissions.  You could create a separate account just for your boys that is not an administrator.  They then shouldn't have any access to install things or mess up the computer.  Just ensure that your own password is not easily guessable by them.

We did this with our Mac.  My boys have their own login and they can't get into our side.  It does make things easier.

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15 hours ago, MorningStar said:

I am concerned about that aspect of him trying to be more sneaky, but this is beyond just dropping a bad word here and there.  He is also talking to people who he doesn't know in real life, shared a photo of a girl who asked him out (which he shouldn't do without her permission), and then he got himself an ebay account without permission.  Oh yeah, started entering YouTube giveaways that aren't legit and require you to enter your email in the comments.  He is out of control!  He has to do homework on the computer, but the second I turn around, he's installing apps without asking and playing yet another game.  And it's always something that is a big time suck.  "I'm on a team!"  "We're in a tournament!"  

Last year he nagged and nagged and nagged that he found a PS4 on eBay for $40. I said, "It's a scam."   He said, "No, sometimes people are rich and just want to give people a great deal or they work for the company or something!"  I said, "No, that's not true."  He was acting like I was ruining Christmas, so I finally said, "OK.  Let's order it."  The next morning there was a message saying it wasn't legit and told him a refund had to be requested. I said, "Let that be a lesson to you that when things sound too good to be true, they are."  After that was when he started entering fake YouTube giveaways and I had told him he wasn't allowed to surf YouTube period!  He had begged me for permission to buy a laptop for months.  "I can do my homework on it!  I can help you edit your videos!"  Well, he got it and it was all about gaming and he wasn't following the rules. 

Another issue is that for some reason, my computer that was purchased at Best Buy doesn't seem to have a legitimate copy of Windows, so I can't do certain things with it because it's not registered.  Maybe my son screwed up when he set it up?  I don't know.  I wasn't in the mood to do anything with it at the moment because my dad had just barely been diagnosed with cancer.  The sticker with the license key was peeled off too.  >:(  My son keeps saying, "You can get them really cheap on Amazon."  "THEN IT'S NOT LEGITIMATE!"  

For my birthday, he went with my husband to pick out a computer for me, he unboxed it, set it up, and immediately asked to play games on it (because his laptop isn't powerful enough or something).  I said, "Did you pick this out for you or me?"  He started putting gaming apps on it and I told him, "Don't you dare install another thing."  I have Windows 10 and I'm trying to figure out if there's a way to set up a password in order to install anything.  His laptop hit the floor and it killed the hard drive, so now when he "needs to do his homework", he monopolizes my computer either by gaming or voice chatting loudly after maybe 5 entire minutes of homework.  I teach piano and can't constantly monitor him during homework hours.  If the library were close/safe enough to walk to, I would tell him that's where he's doing his homework from now on.  Time limit is an hour on library computers .

It's only added fun that I think he's telling a huge lie and he knows those chats come up for me to see, so why would he say such disgusting things?  I have grounded him for a week at a time, such as when he brought his laptop to his study hall and played csgo in there.  I was on the home computer and when I log in, it looks like he's on.  His friend messaged him and said, "Why aren't you at school?"  He said, "I am.  I played csgo during study hall."  I joined the chat and said, "This is your mother.  I do not approve."  This was against his teachers' rules, so I told them both (two of them were over that class) and he was banned from his laptop for a  week.  He had a meltdown over it, but I had told him for months before the laptop purchase that I didn't want it to become a source of contention, but is exactly what happened.  

And then I have two other boys who want to play on the computer.  I was finally able to remove Steam.  I kept getting an error message.  One needs to focus on preparing for his mission and college.  He didn't get his Eagle like he supposedly wanted.  The other two want their Eagles, but we had a chat the other night where I told them they didn't have plenty of time like they think and they're not going to reach their goal if they're wasting time gaming.

My 13-year-old and I have been seeing a therapist at LDS Family Services because he's having his own issues and I don't know how to deal with him my boys right now.  They've been struggling especially since we moved.  We've been pulling the WiFi plug on Sundays, so that's one thing that's changed. I hate that my son feels like he has no social life unless he does online gaming.  

 

I have a friend who used to be like that, he lived with his dad, he worked at a video store and then when he was done that he 'd play games all hours, he'd even travel to the US for conventions and it was unbelievable. We're talking peeing into bottles here so he wouldn't miss anything. Now, he doesn't play any games at all, he works a better paying job and has new hobbies. If he was away from video games he saw there is more to life than that, so people can change.

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1 hour ago, Duncan said:

I have a friend who used to be like that, he lived with his dad, he worked at a video store and then when he was done that he 'd play games all hours, he'd even travel to the US for conventions and it was unbelievable. We're talking peeing into bottles here so he wouldn't miss anything. Now, he doesn't play any games at all, he works a better paying job and has new hobbies. If he was away from video games he saw there is more to life than that, so people can change.

Wow!  Glad he finally stepped away from that.  There wasn't much gaming going on here at first, but I think his friends kept bugging him to get involved.  My kids don't have cell phones, so they're social outcasts.  :P  I don't have a cell phone either.  Their friends don't seem to think they can call the house phone.  Haha!!!!

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15 hours ago, Calm said:

Some kids refuse to learn or cannot in normal circumstances.  You might be able to teach them if you could focus 24/7 on them, but not only are they out of your control a good portion of the day, but when there are other kids that also need your attention, basic needs like housecleaning, and having to bring in income...well, no matter how much you want to, you can't provide what they need to learn.  

Not sure what the options are as they are probably different for each family.

I have a friend whose son is obsessed with fire.  They have taught him about safety until they're blue in the face, but he still does dangerous things with it whenever possible, such as using a lighter and spraying something flammable on it.  His bags were checked right before Scout Camp, but he grabbed some matches from somewhere at the last minute.  He ended up burning himself severely at Scout Camp.  He basically banned from anything flammable because he poses a danger to his family.  With my son not having any worries about teenage strangers (who might not really be teenagers for all we know), I have major concerns.  I can't check the history on voice chat especially and I know he has shared what school he goes to.  

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5 minutes ago, MorningStar said:

Wow!  Glad he finally stepped away from that.  There wasn't much gaming going on here at first, but I think his friends kept bugging him to get involved.  My kids don't have cell phones, so they're social outcasts.  :P  I don't have a cell phone either.  Their friends don't seem to think they can call the house phone.  Haha!!!!

Finally...I just have to say it is so nice to find someone else who does not have a cell phone.  I drive the world crazy because I require email most of the time...and yet...so tired of saying hello to friends and even strangers because they are glued to phone...and ignoring kids all around them.  I am behind the times but I have a life too.. 

All this being said..I hope you can arrive to a good answer to all the problems here.  When all this gets cleared away..just make sure that you let your son know that there is trust to build on..and that you are counting on that trust..with love.  This may take a while and sometimes learning things the hard way really sticks..years from now he will look back and shake his regretful head that he put you through all of this..for his own good.  Wishing you good things.

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3 hours ago, Jeanne said:

Finally...I just have to say it is so nice to find someone else who does not have a cell phone.  I drive the world crazy because I require email most of the time...and yet...so tired of saying hello to friends and even strangers because they are glued to phone...and ignoring kids all around them.  I am behind the times but I have a life too.. 

All this being said..I hope you can arrive to a good answer to all the problems here.  When all this gets cleared away..just make sure that you let your son know that there is trust to build on..and that you are counting on that trust..with love.  This may take a while and sometimes learning things the hard way really sticks..years from now he will look back and shake his regretful head that he put you through all of this..for his own good.  Wishing you good things.

Thank you!  Wow!  It's amazing to meet someone else who doesn't have a cell phone!  There are times I wish I had one, but yes, they are causing a lot of problems.  People are always saying "Text me!" and I have to explain that I can't.  I can only email.  They freak out when they try to text my home phone and it doesn't work.  Haha!  I like my solitude and the fact that people can't keep tabs on me all the time.  I do have a tablet, but I don't have a WiFi plan for it.  I can use it as a GPS, so that's handy.  Or my husband can message me when I'm at rehearsal if he needs to, which he usually never does.  It drives me nuts when I'm out with friends and their family is texting them over and over like they can't survive, and it's to settle disputes over TV shows and that sort of thing.  

I would feel a lot better about this situation with my son if he would just admit what he did instead of coming up with a lie (probably a lie).  I have dealt with loved ones lying to my face before and I'm kind of PTSD about it.  Frustrating when you know what the truth is and you can't work on the problem because they won't even admit it in the first place.  

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1 minute ago, MorningStar said:

Thank you!  Wow!  It's amazing to meet someone else who doesn't have a cell phone!  There are times I wish I had one, but yes, they are causing a lot of problems.  People are always saying "Text me!" and I have to explain that I can't.  I can only email.  They freak out when they try to text my home phone and it doesn't work.  Haha!  I like my solitude and the fact that people can't keep tabs on me all the time.  I do have a tablet, but I don't have a WiFi plan for it.  I can use it as a GPS, so that's handy.  Or my husband can message me when I'm at rehearsal if he needs to, which he usually never does.  It drives me nuts when I'm out with friends and their family is texting them over and over like they can't survive, and it's to settle disputes over TV shows and that sort of thing.  

I would feel a lot better about this situation with my son if he would just admit what he did instead of coming up with a lie (probably a lie).  I have dealt with loved ones lying to my face before and I'm kind of PTSD about it.  Frustrating when you know what the truth is and you can't work on the problem because they won't even admit it in the first place.  

I hear you.   sometimes I just like living in my own little world..knowing that if something important happens....the people who know to email will come through.

As for lies..this is the hardest part to deal with..my daughter did this to me for awhile in her young years..it took a long time for trust..then she realized that she needed me to believe her and life changed.  I hope you can get through this.  I admire you s you have so many things on your plate.  Vent with us always..Hugs..Jeanne

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5 hours ago, Duncan said:

I have a friend who used to be like that, he lived with his dad, he worked at a video store and then when he was done that he 'd play games all hours, he'd even travel to the US for conventions and it was unbelievable. We're talking peeing into bottles here so he wouldn't miss anything. Now, he doesn't play any games at all, he works a better paying job and has new hobbies. If he was away from video games he saw there is more to life than that, so people can change.

I was never that bad but most people grow out of video games whether through making them a reasonable hobby or stopping entirely. Unfortunately some stay almost addicted. I had a friend from High School who still lives at home with his parents and plays and "designs" games there. In other words he mostly just plays games and claims his game is almost done when his parents start bugging him about doing something with his life. I cut off contact over a decade ago and from what I hear from others the cycle seems unlikely to end.

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30 minutes ago, Jeanne said:

I hear you.   sometimes I just like living in my own little world..knowing that if something important happens....the people who know to email will come through.

As for lies..this is the hardest part to deal with..my daughter did this to me for awhile in her young years..it took a long time for trust..then she realized that she needed me to believe her and life changed.  I hope you can get through this.  I admire you s you have so many things on your plate.  Vent with us always..Hugs..Jeanne

Thank you, Jeanne.  My dad has cancer and is just starting a stem cell transplant.  That alone is overwhelming.  I really can't be keeping constant tabs on kids' electronics right now.  My mom isn't well either and won't be able to be my dad's caretaker.  He has to live in an apartment for months close to the cancer center because even a little cut from shaving could land him in the hospital.  He has two siblings who will trade off taking care of him 24/7.  I will only be able to help on the weekends if ever.  :(  

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