BYU Caffeine is APPROVED - Breaking news!

[hope_for_things]

With BYU offering caffeine now, what does this mean for the future of Mormonism?  Should we celebrate this as an example of modern revelation?  Is President Hinckley turning in his grave?  Is this the start of a slippery slope?  

http://fox13now.com/2017/09/21/byu-to-sell-caffeinated-sodas-on-campus/

http://dining.byu.edu/future_dining.html

[hope_for_things]

This quote from the fox article just strikes me as hilarious.  

Quote

BYU said some soda machines on campus have already been switched out with the fully-loaded beverages.

Oh yeah, are you fully-loaded!!  

[provoman]

Queue the Apocalypse...

[rchorse]

As a BYU alumnus, I would have preferred they abandon the no-facial-hair policy first. Never cared much about caffeine.

[hope_for_things]

3 minutes ago, rchorse said:

As a BYU alumnus, I would have preferred they abandon the no-facial-hair policy first. Never cared much about caffeine.

Sounds like the slippery slope that I was worried about.  Next thing you know they'll be commissioning a new statue of Brigham Young, and this time he'll even have a beard.  Oh the humanity! 

[smac97]

13 minutes ago, provoman said:

Queue the Apocalypse...

We need a neologism for this.  How about the Popocalypse?

-Smac

[smac97]

9 minutes ago, hope_for_things said:

Sounds like the slippery slope that I was worried about.  Next thing you know they'll be commissioning a new statue of Brigham Young, and this time he'll even have a beard.  Oh the humanity! 

That Rubicon was crossed a long time ago:

Granted, it's Karl G. Maeser instead of Brigham Young, but he A) founded the school, B) originated the emphasis on "honor" at BYU, and C) had a beard.

-Smac

[Tacenda]

I think the day the church said it's not the caffeine in coffee but something else...is the day we were closer to having BYU offering it in it's vending machines. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/01/mormon-caffeine-policy-cl_n_1848098.html

[hope_for_things]

8 minutes ago, smac97 said:

That Rubicon was crossed a long time ago:

Granted, it's Karl G. Maeser instead of Brigham Young, but he A) founded the school, B) originated the emphasis on "honor" at BYU, and C) had a beard.

-Smac

My hope is for an Orson Pratt statue someday.  That would be epic as his beard is amazing.  

 

[stemelbow]

oh crap....soon women will be running around campus in pants and men will be sporting well-groomed mustaches.  It's going to really get bad once someone proposes we stop blaming women for the sexual assaults. 

[bsjkki]

So does that mean I don't have to hide my diet coke at girls camp now?

[stemelbow]

Just now, hope_for_things said:

My hope is for an Orson Pratt statue someday.  That would be epic as his beard is amazing.  

 

define amazing.  It looks to me like he had a host of birds whom he commissioned to help wire-y it up each day. 

[california boy]

Now the next line to be crossed is letting the students drink caffeinated beverages in public.

[smac97]

4 minutes ago, stemelbow said:

oh crap....soon women will be running around campus in pants and men will be sporting well-groomed mustaches.  It's going to really get bad once someone proposes we stop blaming women for the sexual assaults. 

It sure would be nice to have a lighthearted thread once in a while.  One in which the LDS Church is teased but not ridiculed (or disparaged / attacked / insulted / maligned).

Yep, it sure would be nice, but nope.  You had to come along and kill the fun.

-Smac

[stemelbow]

3 minutes ago, smac97 said:

It sure would be nice to have a lighthearted thread once in a while.  One in which the LDS Church is teased but not ridiculed (or disparaged / attacked / insulted / maligned).

Yep, it sure would be nice, but nope.  You had to come along and kill the fun.

-Smac

My light-hearted fun is your "disparaged / attacked / insulted / maligned".  I meant no offense.  I thought it was light-hearted fun, seriously. 

[hope_for_things]

19 minutes ago, stemelbow said:

define amazing.  It looks to me like he had a host of birds whom he commissioned to help wire-y it up each day. 

If "birds" is code word for polygamous wives, then this makes a lot of sense. 

If its literally birds I think he might have been half-bird himself, his whole beard looks like a hybrid of feathers.  

[hope_for_things]

24 minutes ago, california boy said:

Now the next line to be crossed is letting the students drink caffeinated beverages in public.

Maybe two members of the same sex could hold a coke can together, just not each other's hand.  

[JLHPROF]

53 minutes ago, provoman said:

Queue the Apocalypse...

Maybe there is a connection between caffeinated drinks and the September 23rd end of the world.

[The Nehor]

Let us rejoice in the day of caff'nation.
No longer as zombies on earth may we roam. Buzzed tidings are sounding to us in Y nation,
And shortly the hour of caff'nation will come,
When all that was promised the Saints will be swiggin',
And none will be caffeine free from morn until ev’n,
And BYU will be woke as the Garden of Eden,
Dr. Pepper, Coke, Dew 'n Pepsi will finally, “Come home.”

[provoman]

23 minutes ago, smac97 said:

It sure would be nice to have a lighthearted thread once in a while.  One in which the LDS Church is teased but not ridiculed (or disparaged / attacked / insulted / maligned).

Yep, it sure would be nice, but nope.  You had to come along and kill the fun.

-Smac

so I shouldnt post a meme of statues at BYU holding cokes?

 

On a serious note, I wonder how this might affect average grades, marriage rates, class attendance etc. 

[provoman]

4 minutes ago, hope_for_things said:

Maybe two members of the same sex could hold a coke can together, just not each other's hand.  

share a Coke and  a Smile

Edited September 21, 2017 by provoman

[hope_for_things]

28 minutes ago, bsjkki said:

So does that mean I don't have to hide my diet coke at girls camp now?

No way, I think this puts the church's official approval on your diet coke.  Maybe someone could make some stickers that say endorsed by BYU, and we could put those stickers on all the drinks, just in case someone missed the memo.

I say, go for it, bring caffeinated drinks to activities and church functions, its all approved now!

[JLHPROF]

35 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

I think the day the church said it's not the caffeine in coffee but something else...is the day we were closer to having BYU offering it in it's vending machines. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/01/mormon-caffeine-policy-cl_n_1848098.html

That's just it.
The WoW says absolutely nothing about caffeine.  Caffeine was just the boogeyman introduced into Church culture decades ago as the common sense reason to follow the Word of Wisdom.  Not even sure the Church itself ever banned caffeine?  (Anyone know if caffeine itself was officially banned at any point?)  
And unfortunately it stuck leading to decades of hate piled on Coke and Pepsi.

Now the Church has restored the Word of Wisdom to a more accurate perspective.  Hot drinks and strong drinks.  That what the WoW warns against in the beverage department.
 

[hope_for_things]

4 minutes ago, JLHPROF said:

Maybe there is a connection between caffeinated drinks and the September 23rd end of the world.

Why the 23rd, didn't Moroni come on the 22nd as that is the autumn equinox after all.  

[hope_for_things]

5 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

Let us rejoice in the day of caff'nation.
No longer as zombies on earth may we roam. Buzzed tidings are sounding to us in Y nation,
And shortly the hour of caff'nation will come,
When all that was promised the Saints will be swiggin',
And none will be caffeine free from morn until ev’n,
And BYU will be woke as the Garden of Eden,
Dr. Pepper, Coke, Dew 'n Pepsi will finally, “Come home.”

Bravo!!! I couldn't help myself from singing this in my mind as I read it!