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Senior Members Who Are Single


cdowis

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I know there is alot of talk about Single Adults, but I think seniors (retirement age) males are largely ignored.  I have several acquaintances who don't even try to find a worthy mate -- their excuse is that they are "too old", that no one would be interested in them.  The largest issue, I have found, is that they don't want to marry someone their own age, but are afraid to "check out" the ladies who are younger, 35 to 45 years, for fear of rejection.  They don't even go to the socials , much less date.

I finally convinced an older friend of mine to start asking dates of these younger sisters, and he found someone and was married in just a about six months.  How can we help them to get over that myth that they are too old, and no one would be interested in them?

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Honestly, I dunno. :unknw: ("Then why bother replying, Ken?"  Touché! ;))

My widowed brother met someone on e-Harmony recently.  (Ironically, e-Harmony is one of the accounts my employer has! :shok: I've been ambivalent about trying it, but perhaps if I could get a discount.)  If technophobia isn't an issue, perhaps that's an option: certainly, there's less risk in simply messaging a few profiles of people one finds of interest than trying to sift through all of those folks on first dates in order to find someone compatible.

My $0.02, actual value $0.01957525. :) 

Edited by Kenngo1969
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My BIL has been a divorced single for many years. I think he is a little picky, but has some reasons. And from watching his FB posts, he seems to be doing great without a wife. He has a group of single adults that go hiking nearly everywhere in Utah. And these hikes aren't the easy ones. They do rapelling also. He's probably 53 or 54, not a young guy. They also get together for parties and for volleyball, so many fun things. A group of them drove to California and hiked in Yosemite recently. I'm really jealous actually. I think there are perks to being single also. This started out as a Single Adult church group I believe. But my BIL also would like to marry too. Even if I tell him that life seems pretty good from watching his FB posts. His ex-wife went out on him, so maybe it's a trust issue. And they were married in the temple, so double whammy. Sometimes it can be lonely even if you're married. So those that have found the right one are truly lucky, not all do. And I'm sure it's miserable, especially if they are in the church and are told to endure. 

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16 hours ago, cdowis said:

I know there is alot of talk about Single Adults, but I think seniors (retirement age) males are largely ignored.  I have several acquaintances who don't even try to find a worthy mate -- their excuse is that they are "too old", that no one would be interested in them.  The largest issue, I have found, is that they don't want to marry someone their own age, but are afraid to "check out" the ladies who are younger, 35 to 45 years, for fear of rejection.  They don't even go to the socials , much less date.

I finally convinced an older friend of mine to start asking dates of these younger sisters, and he found someone and was married in just a about six months.  How can we help them to get over that myth that they are too old, and no one would be interested in them?

Their problem isn't that they are "too old", the problem is their maturity level.   Guys rejecting women in the same age range and chasing after women 30 years younger...I would think worthy priesthood holders would hold better values than that.

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1 hour ago, bluebell said:

What's wrong with women their own age??  

I was wondering the same thing.  Typically less than a 10 year age difference is what I would look for when single.  For an older gentleman, you would think he would want someone his age as women younger (35-45) will still often have kids at home.

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1 hour ago, bluebell said:

What's wrong with women their own age??  

If you have to ask, I am unable to explain it to you except to give you a hint that there is a difference between "growing old together" and looking around for a wife who will give you comfort and support in your old age.

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20 minutes ago, emeliza said:

I was wondering the same thing.  Typically less than a 10 year age difference is what I would look for when single.  For an older gentleman, you would think he would want someone his age as women younger (35-45) will still often have kids at home.

"Go ask your mother" works just fine.

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13 minutes ago, bluebell said:

That's horrible.  I have very little respect for such men.  They don't want partners, they want someone to take care of them without having to worry about returning the favor.  People like that deserve to be alone.

 

As I said.......

But you will outlive him by many decades, and if he had enough assets to give you a comfortable living fo the rest of you life == vacations, a nice home, etc.  After all, a younger man may be equally selfish but you would be stuck with him for most of your lifetime.  

Also it is probable that the older man would be less likely to leave you.

Bottom line ==>>  A single man is like a parking place, the good ones are already taken,,,,, except for handicap parking.

Edited by cdowis
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3 minutes ago, cdowis said:

"If you have to ask, I am unable to explain it to you"

It seems really easy to explain. All you had to say was that they are self centered and are just looking for someone to take care of them without having to do the same in return. 

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8 minutes ago, cdowis said:

As I said.......

But you will outlive him by many decades, and if he had enough assets to give you a comfortable living fo the rest of you life == vacations, a nice home, etc.  After all, a younger man may be equally selfish but you would be stuck with him for most of your lifetime.  

Also it is probable that the older man would be less likely to leave you.

Just remember, a man is like a parking place, the good ones are already taken.

Ew

I don't know which is worse, that you would think women are so expendable they should waste their lives taking care of old narcissistic men or that a woman should plan her life around guessing who will leave her. Or that women can't buy their own homes and vacations. 

Why not encourage them to chase after 17 yr olds, they have even less  judgment. They would probably settle for less expensive stuff, too.

<gagging in the corner>

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23 minutes ago, cdowis said:

As I said.......

But you will outlive him by many decades, and if he had enough assets to give you a comfortable living fo the rest of you life == vacations, a nice home, etc.  After all, a younger man may be equally selfish but you would be stuck with him for most of your lifetime.  

Also it is probable that the older man would be less likely to leave you.

Bottom line ==>>  A single man is like a parking place, the good ones are already taken,,,,, except for handicap parking.

Wow. Now I'm even more disgusted.  

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12 minutes ago, juliann said:

Ew

I don't know which is worse, that you would think women are so expendable they should waste their lives taking care of old narcissistic men or that a woman should plan her life around guessing who will leave her. Or that women can't buy their own homes and vacations. 

Why not encourage them to chase after 17 yr olds, they have even less  judgment. They would probably settle for less expensive stuff, too.

<gagging in the corner>

Whoever marries a man because of the money and assets they might get out of it will eventually figure out that she'll be earning every penny.

That's not a marriage, it's a business transaction between an employee and her boss. 

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Seriously...there is nothing wrong about being single...from one who is very set in her ways! I dated a guy for almost 8 years....finally, I couldn't handle that I couldn't do anything right..my self esteem took a beating and I left the relationship.  It was hard...but I can breathe single!

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51 minutes ago, cdowis said:

del

This deletion was probably the wisest thing you have ever done cdowis..:P

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Jeanne
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10 hours ago, bluebell said:

What's wrong with women their own age??  

That is what I was wondering.

And why would a young woman of sound mind and body want a man her father's age?

And what about old gals?...I mean single sisters...as you call them...Who are they supposed to marry? Do they set their caps for children of the previous generation too?

On 12/9/2016 at 6:32 PM, cdowis said:

I know there is alot of talk about Single Adults, but I think seniors (retirement age) males are largely ignored.  I have several acquaintances who don't even try to find a worthy mate -- their excuse is that they are "too old", that no one would be interested in them.  The largest issue, I have found, is that they don't want to marry someone their own age, but are afraid to "check out" the ladies who are younger, 35 to 45 years, for fear of rejection.  They don't even go to the socials , much less date.

I finally convinced an older friend of mine to start asking dates of these younger sisters, and he found someone and was married in just a about six months.  How can we help them to get over that myth that they are too old, and no one would be interested in them?

I think you haven't established whether it is a myth or whether it is icky for old men to be going after women who are young enough to be their daughters. I vote icky. I am 60. I have had my children. Now it is their turn to have my grandchildren, not my children.

3DOP

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2 minutes ago, 3DOP said:

That is what I was wondering.

And why would a young woman of sound mind and body want a man her father's age?

And what about old gals?...I mean single sisters...as you call them...Who are they supposed to marry? Do they set their caps for children of the previous generation too?

I think you haven't established whether it is a myth or whether it is icky for old men to be going after women who are young enough to be their daughters. I vote icky. I am 60. I have had my children. Now it is their turn to have my grandchildren, not my children.

3DOP

My daughters are married, and the husbands asked my permission and blessing before they proposed. I can't imagine in my wildest dreams my daughters bringing me some old guy who asks my permission to marry. I guess I would listen. I think I would be embarrassed for the poor guy. I don't see any way that I don't pull my dear girl aside and advise her to look for someone who should live significantly longer than her parents. I guess there are exceptions to the rule that you marry in your own generation. But I would suggest that it should be quite extraordinary.

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