What is the most difficult thing about being Mormon?

[why me]

9 hours ago, Tacenda said:

It's not hard when you don't have to cross all the t's and dot all the i's to feel worthy. Anyway, the fence is hard too, don't get me wrong. But the pressure is relieved somewhat, I guess I was too hard on myself before.

It is a problem when someone is trying to do all the right things all the time, without realizing that people are not perfect and such crossing and dotting will end in failure. Some people in the church are hard on themselves and I believe many fall away from burnout. But people can always say no to callings etc. And it is much easier to know that regardless on how hard people try, there will always be failure. Balance is the key.

[waveslider]

3 hours ago, why me said:

It is a problem when someone is trying to do all the right things all the time, without realizing that people are not perfect and such crossing and dotting will end in failure. Some people in the church are hard on themselves and I believe many fall away from burnout. But people can always say no to callings etc. And it is much easier to know that regardless on how hard people try, there will always be failure. Balance is the key.

I think the reason people have burnout problems are because a lot of times we just try to do everything on our own, waiting for Christ to step in at some later date to take care of what we weren't able to do. Like if the whole world depends on us alone, or something. I think if we instead just try to have the Holy Spirit guide us through the things we are supposed to be doing, letting the Spirit dictate priorities instead of just prioritizing things all on our own, we will find that the way truly is lightened and these things are no where near as burdensome as when we are just trying to tackle everything on our own. If we focused our energies on recognizing the Spirit, and in just obeying what God says, no matter what, we won't burn out nearly so easily. I think instead of burning out, we would be craving even more spiritual experiences like the ones we have when we are following, so closely, Christ's plan for us. We would be more on a spiritual high than a crash and burn from a futile attempt at being perfect. I think what is meant by us to become perfect, is just to become perfect at hearing and obeying the Lord's voice, not jumping through a bunch of hoops in a vain hope that we get enough of them right, by the time all is said and done, that the rest will get taken care of at some later date, in the judgement or something. "....Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." Matthew 4:4 If we are in tune with the Spirit we will be hearing every word. Just my two cents worth anyway.

[Jeanne]

5 hours ago, waveslider said:

I think the reason people have burnout problems are because a lot of times we just try to do everything on our own, waiting for Christ to step in at some later date to take care of what we weren't able to do. Like if the whole world depends on us alone, or something. I think if we instead just try to have the Holy Spirit guide us through the things we are supposed to be doing, letting the Spirit dictate priorities instead of just prioritizing things all on our own, we will find that the way truly is lightened and these things are no where near as burdensome as when we are just trying to tackle everything on our own. If we focused our energies on recognizing the Spirit, and in just obeying what God says, no matter what, we won't burn out nearly so easily. I think instead of burning out, we would be craving even more spiritual experiences like the ones we have when we are following, so closely, Christ's plan for us. We would be more on a spiritual high than a crash and burn from a futile attempt at being perfect. I think what is meant by us to become perfect, is just to become perfect at hearing and obeying the Lord's voice, not jumping through a bunch of hoops in a vain hope that we get enough of them right, by the time all is said and done, that the rest will get taken care of at some later date, in the judgement or something. "....Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." Matthew 4:4 If we are in tune with the Spirit we will be hearing every word. Just my two cents worth anyway.

For fathers and mothers in the LDS church...this is hard (IMO).  They not only take individual progress to heart on achieving some realm of perfection..but they feel that they entire posterity rests on their shoulders in doing so.  What a load to carry even after all you can do.

[waveslider]

1 hour ago, Jeanne said:

For fathers and mothers in the LDS church...this is hard (IMO).  They not only take individual progress to heart on achieving some realm of perfection..but they feel that they entire posterity rests on their shoulders in doing so.  What a load to carry even after all you can do.

being a father myself, a single parent at that, I understand what you are saying, but the same thing applies

7 hours ago, waveslider said:

I think if we instead just try to have the Holy Spirit guide us through the things we are supposed to be doing, letting the Spirit dictate priorities instead of just prioritizing things all on our own, we will find that the way truly is lightened and these things are no where near as burdensome as when we are just trying to tackle everything on our own. If we focused our energies on recognizing the Spirit, and in just obeying what God says, no matter what, we won't burn out nearly so easily.

The key words here being, "...Letting the Spirit dictate priorities...." Everyday of my life for the past 12 years seems overwhelming to me when I think about all the things I am supposed to be doing, but then when I try and just follow what the Spirit guides me to do on each particular day, I find I am led through it all in such a way that most things just flow and I find that little miracles happen all the time to take the burdens away enough to not feel overwhelmed anymore. I am finding that things run much more smoothly, than when I just try to do it all on my own, trying to be some super dad or something. The days that I don't feel close to the Spirit are the days that seem like I am just banging my head against a wall, and when I humble myself once again and just try to be in tune, it's more like I just get led around like a little kid holding on to it's parent's hand being guided to just the right places at just the right times, doors opening at the exact right times to let me through, etc.. Life is still a struggle, but it's very doable. My kids are turning out really good so far, and I truly can't even take the credit for it because it is God who has led me through raising them so well. I would have failed miserable long ago if I did it all on my own.

[thesometimesaint]

It doesn't matter where we are on the ladder to perfection. Just the direction we are going.

[ERayR]

On 8/26/2016 at 4:52 PM, Tacenda said:

I don't think it's hard to live Mormonism, when you are on the fence.

It is hard to live anything you are on "on the fence" about.

[ERayR]

On 8/26/2016 at 8:01 PM, provoman said:

Mormons

I have trouble with the snide remarks of the self righteous critics and anti's.

 

[ERayR]

On 8/27/2016 at 4:59 PM, Jeanne said:

I think I understand what you mean.  You're in the nice bubble where you feel safe.  You know who you are, what is expected of you..and most people around you feel the same way you do..to step out of that bubble is scary.  So you don't give others a chance..this was me in many ways.  I stayed in my bubble for a long time...but I am different than you in the that I really did look down on people..it was a way for me to feel good about myself.  So kudos for you and your humility.  I am most upset with myself now that I missed out on making some very good friends...outside that bubble..there would have been nothing wrong with that.  I did have a nice catholic girl as a friend for awhile as she rode the bus with me...but guess what?  My father would not let me have her for a friend...it wasn't just a bubble..it was a way of life!!

That doesn't sound like "being Mormon" as I understand "being Mormon".

[Tacenda]

54 minutes ago, ERayR said:

It is hard to live anything you are on "on the fence" about.

Oh yes it is. 

[Tacenda]

43 minutes ago, ERayR said:

That doesn't sound like "being Mormon" as I understand "being Mormon".

You and most all the members I know on this board live Mormonism the way they should as far as accepting others and having open minds, for the most part. Especially when you consider we talk about stuff on this board that would never fly in church on Sunday or even in conversations with the LDS that I know. They'd think I was an apostate, heck they might even think some on here that are TBM through and through, are apostate. 

[Storm Rider]

I try to remember that the lesser path, the easier path, was the Law of Moses; that "way" where we are commanded in all things.  It is an easy trap to fall into when we think that if I do all these things I will be okay, more acceptable, etc.  The challenge is that what we are seeking is holiness, a righteousness which does not come directly from following the letter of the law.  

We come to holiness through a hunger to be closer to our Father in Heaven and to know more fully our Savior.  Although obedience is a doorway, it is not the path.  The path is loving the Savior and seeking to please the Father; seeking to be in his presence.  This desire to be with our Father will create a hunger for doing those things pleasing to him.  I don't think it will come from blind obedience.  

[Jeanne]

2 hours ago, ERayR said:

That doesn't sound like "being Mormon" as I understand "being Mormon".

Probably not.  My small LDS town ward was about 250 people...maybe a little bit more if you want to count the cows and the chickens in the coop.  We also had a tiny school with 3 classes in one room.  When we hit 12..we got on the bus and went to the BIG school...that is where you ran into people who were NOT mormon...heck..it was scary...this is the bubble I speak of.. I didn't make a lot of new friends in seven classes..just stuck by my cousin like a siamese twin and didn't budge.  After all is said and done..as I got older, the real bubble burst was finding out that there are a lot of wonderful people in the world that are not LDS.

[JLHPROF]

55 minutes ago, Jeanne said:

 the real bubble burst was finding out that there are a lot of wonderful people in the world that are not LDS.

The real bubble burst will be when people realize "being a good person" may not be the be all and end all we'd like to think.

[Tacenda]

2 hours ago, Storm Rider said:

I try to remember that the lesser path, the easier path, was the Law of Moses; that "way" where we are commanded in all things.  It is an easy trap to fall into when we think that if I do all these things I will be okay, more acceptable, etc.  The challenge is that what we are seeking is holiness, a righteousness which does not come directly from following the letter of the law.  

We come to holiness through a hunger to be closer to our Father in Heaven and to know more fully our Savior.  Although obedience is a doorway, it is not the path.  The path is loving the Savior and seeking to please the Father; seeking to be in his presence.  This desire to be with our Father will create a hunger for doing those things pleasing to him.  I don't think it will come from blind obedience.  

This sounds like Grace to me.

[Storm Rider]

Just now, Tacenda said:

This sounds like Grace to me.

In a very real sense holiness, righteousness, is not possible without Grace.  Although I think the topic is broader none of it is possible without God's grace being extended toward us.  The nuance of describing this process are important and I think a proper understanding facilitates growth Grace is still what we all depend upon. 

[Tacenda]

Just now, Storm Rider said:

In a very real sense holiness, righteousness, is not possible without Grace.  Although I think the topic is broader none of it is possible without God's grace being extended toward us.  The nuance of describing this process are important and I think a proper understanding facilitates growth Grace is still what we all depend upon. 

I should have said this is how Grace works according to some EV's out there. They believe we honor God not necessarily out of obedience or a works for grace theory, but out of what you say here... "The path is loving the Savior and seeking to please the Father; seeking to be in his presence.  This desire to be with our Father will create a hunger for doing those things pleasing to him."

 

[Jeanne]

1 hour ago, JLHPROF said:

The real bubble burst will be when people realize "being a good person" may not be the be all and end all we'd like to think.

It is what makes the world go around..it is what we are here for.

[UtahTexan]

3 minutes ago, Jeanne said:

It is what makes the world go around..it is what we are here for.

only when you actually do it.  It is best to actually walk the walk

[Sky]

I don't know if I can point to any one particular thing that is the most difficult about being Mormon.  For me, though, it would probably have to be certain aspects of our history and our current culture.  

It has never been easy to be LGBT and Mormon.  

I see lots of good things that keep me coming back, too.  Not sure where I'd go if I left.  

[strappinglad]

8 hours ago, waveslider said:

being a father myself, a single parent at that, I understand what you are saying, but the same thing applies

The key words here being, "...Letting the Spirit dictate priorities...." Everyday of my life for the past 12 years seems overwhelming to me when I think about all the things I am supposed to be doing, but then when I try and just follow what the Spirit guides me to do on each particular day, I find I am led through it all in such a way that most things just flow and I find that little miracles happen all the time to take the burdens away enough to not feel overwhelmed anymore. I am finding that things run much more smoothly, than when I just try to do it all on my own, trying to be some super dad or something. The days that I don't feel close to the Spirit are the days that seem like I am just banging my head against a wall, and when I humble myself once again and just try to be in tune, it's more like I just get led around like a little kid holding on to it's parent's hand being guided to just the right places at just the right times, doors opening at the exact right times to let me through, etc.. Life is still a struggle, but it's very doable. My kids are turning out really good so far, and I truly can't even take the credit for it because it is God who has led me through raising them so well. I would have failed miserable long ago if I did it all on my own.

Now , if the RS sisters would take this seriously. Lots of ladies feel that they are never good enough and struggle to live up to some utopian perfection and get depressed as a consequence. Lots of men, on the other hand, too easily shrug their collective shoulders and go " meh " .

[Atheist Mormon]

On 8/26/2016 at 5:49 PM, smac97 said:

In no particular order, I think the body of the Saints struggle with the following:

• The Law of Chastity
• The Law of Tithing
• The Word of Wisdom
• Regular attendance at Church and magnifying of callings
• Charity and Christlike service
• Family obligations
• Maintaining a healthy balance between family / work / Church / service / school / exercise / relaxation / etc.
• Enduring to the end

Thanks,

-Smac

Couldn't write it better.

End of the day none of the above obligations are as important as YOU are.

[Rain]

19 hours ago, Tacenda said:

You and most all the members I know on this board live Mormonism the way they should as far as accepting others and having open minds, for the most part. Especially when you consider we talk about stuff on this board that would never fly in church on Sunday or even in conversations with the LDS that I know. They'd think I was an apostate, heck they might even think some on here that are TBM through and through, are apostate. 

Perhaps it is because you don't share as much with them that would make them feel different about you.  Or it may be that you don't know them as well either.  You can't judge them differently for not accepting others unless they and you actually have the knowledge to see if that is the case.

18 hours ago, Jeanne said:

Probably not.  My small LDS town ward was about 250 people...maybe a little bit more if you want to count the cows and the chickens in the coop.  We also had a tiny school with 3 classes in one room.  When we hit 12..we got on the bus and went to the BIG school...that is where you ran into people who were NOT mormon...heck..it was scary...this is the bubble I speak of.. I didn't make a lot of new friends in seven classes..just stuck by my cousin like a siamese twin and didn't budge.  After all is said and done..as I got older, the real bubble burst was finding out that there are a lot of wonderful people in the world that are not LDS.

What you experienced may also have to do with being in a junior high setting. Socially, during school hours it is much different. Little play time and it would be rare for you to get to know the same students all day long. You also have puberty , seperating from parents etc. taking a much more active part in how kids act. And geographical distance outside of school. While there may be an LDS component in your experience there is a good chance there were a lot other factors that you may not have recognized. 

Edited August 30, 2016 by Rain

[stemelbow]

On ‎8‎/‎26‎/‎2016 at 4:20 PM, Rivers said:

What is the hardest part ? Sacrament meeting? Tithing? Word of Wisdom? Chastity? Garments? Pot lucks? 

 

 

 

Some call it cog dis.  I dont' name it. It's tough seeing the good in the gospel message when most of those who have lived haven't been "blessed" with knowing much about it, most of which suffering through a temporal world while not being given many clues about what is really going on (assuming the claims of Mormonism to be true or effective).  It's way tough understanding a role in life when we're taught on the one hand "man is nothing" and on the other that we're supposedly special among the children of men being held out for this time.  Added to that the inevitability of it all.  What I do doesn't amount to much of anything, so why try?  And if it matters to me in eternity then it's also true that God already knows my direction, while I do not.  I could be thinking I'm right in line with what He wants but be so far afield that I'm nothing but a wolf in sheep's clothing without knowing it. 

How to square contradictory commandments?  First Eve sees the good in her disobeying.  Yet we're supposed to obey with exactness.  In one sense it's great and noble to pacify and die at the hand of the enemy and yet for others its most noble to fight and defend self.  This life feels like a swirling mess of pretending we have something to say, something worth doing all while having to come to grips with realizing we are nothing and there's nothing useful to do. 

[Rain]

I have been thinking about this since the thread was put up and I'm having a hard time coming up with anything.  Lots of things are coming to mind,  but when I think of those things in other situations then it doesn't work well. 

For example, sitting through meetings.  Yes,  as LDS we have 3 hours of church meetings,  but people have them at work,  for charities,  town councils etc.  So what is the difference? Perhaps being engaged in the meetings,  but some people manage to be engaged in both church and other meetings.  Some people manage to be bored  in other meetings.

My first thought was the hardest thing about begin LDS was when my loved ones go against the teachings of the church,  but then realized that isn't necessarily true.  All of my loved ones who drink, have sex, don't  believe anymore - I have other concerns about them as well (safety, relationship, financial as well).  This isn't to say that all people who leave or no longer care to follow the commandments have other major problems. I know not all do. Just everyone I personally know that I am close to. I don't know if this is the hardest thing for me or if it just seems like hardest when it is combined with other things.  

So as of yet I haven't come up with an answer. 

Edited August 30, 2016 by Rain

[Tacenda]

1 hour ago, Rain said:

I have been thinking about this since the thread was put up and I'm having a hard time coming up with anything.  Lots of things are coming to mind,  but when I think of those things in other situations them it doesn't work well. 

For example, sitting through meetings.  Yes,  as LDS we have 3 hours of church meetings,  but people have them at work,  for charities,  town councils etc.  So what is the difference? Perhaps being engaged in the meetings,  but some people manage to be engaged in both church and other meetings.  Some people manage to be bored  in other meetings.

My first thought was the hardest thing about begin LDS was when my loved ones go against the teachings of the church,  but then realized that isn't necessarily true.  All of my loved ones who drink, have sex, don't  believe anymore - I have other concerns about them as well (safety, relationship, financial as well).  This isn't to say that all people who leave or no longer care to follow the commandments have other major problems. I know not all do. Just everyone I personally know that I am close to. I don't know if this is the hardest thing for me or if it just seems like hardest when it is combined with other things.  

So as of yet I haven't come up with an answer. 

I see this also, makes one wonder if they hadn't been a member of the LDS church and maybe another faith paradigm that wasn't centered on it being the only true church, they wouldn't have lost their belief in a creator. Losing a testimony in the church messes with your mind. There is definite fall out. I'm sorry you've had to see this side of your relatives. Even John Dehlin admitted that there are problems, such as infidelity, drug use and more.