Taking A "sabbatical" From Activity In The Church

[KevinG]

 

The impression I got was one of trying too hard to show everyone how broad-minded and expansive she is.

 

There is a disturbing trend of people mistaking blogs for journals, and seeking approval rather than salvation.

[Rain]

But what if going off in another direction helps them connect with God in a better way? Perhaps that is a natural part of their faith journey.

"What if..." That's really another way of saying what I was trying to say. It's scary to me because we don't know.

Perhaps it is scarier to me at this time because I'm in a constant state of trying to trust the Lord with my son because there is little I can do with him now. I've seen what not having the gospel in their lives has done for two siblings.

The three of them were not in a good place with the Lord to begin with so how do you trust that the break is right?

That's why I suggest changing things up a bit instead of taking a break or at least try that first.

[stemelbow]

Have you tried focusing more on what you, yourself, can bring to the worship service as opposed to what you get from it?

of course

[SeekingUnderstanding]

Maybe, but just imagine what would happen if everybody decided to do this.  So much for Church activity and activities.

If everyone took off one year out of 22, I think we could manage.

[sethpayne]

I stepped away from the Church for a period and it was the absolute best thing I could have done.  Gave me a chance to reflect on what was important sans the pressure to live as others expected me to.  I was able to come back to Church ready to serve and dive in wherever I could.  My doubts and questions didn't go away, but my desire to serve within the community of Saints became stronger after a period of reflection.

 

I will forever be thankful to family and ward members who 1) understood my need to step back and 2) always stood with open arms if/when I returned.  I didn't get lectures about keeping covenants etc.... because, wisely, those who cared about me knew that such lectures would be counterproductive.  I trusted in the Lord.  My family trusted in the Lord.  And He took care of the rest.

[jkwilliams]

If everyone took off one year out of 22, I think we could manage.

For those who don't want to take a year off, I can take theirs.

[jkwilliams]

I stepped away from the Church for a period and it was the absolute best thing I could have done.  Gave me a chance to reflect on what was important sans the pressure to live as others expected me to.  I was able to come back to Church ready to serve and dive in wherever I could.  My doubts and questions didn't go away, but my desire to serve within the community of Saints became stronger after a period of reflection.

 

I will forever be thankful to family and ward members who 1) understood my need to step back and 2) always stood with open arms if/when I returned.  I didn't get lectures about keeping covenants etc.... because, wisely, those who cared about me knew that such lectures would be counterproductive.  I trusted in the Lord.  My family trusted in the Lord.  And He took care of the rest.

That's great. Seth. Sometimes I wish I'd been able to do that.

[SeekingUnderstanding]

I wonder if it was a little bit of just not being very courageous in her decision. She would have had to explain herself way more often if she had kept that one point of contact. Since the whole point of the sabbatical seems to have been to "take it easy" I could see her shunning anything that might have been even a little difficult.

I think this thread (full of people condemning her, calling her dumb, disobedient, lying, covenant breaking etc) more than justifies the decision to attend somewhere else for a year. I think attending with a group of people that were looking down at you as a covenant breaking sinner would defeat the purpose of a sabbatical.

Edited August 19, 2015 by SeekingUnderstanding

[Nevo]

Since the whole point of the sabbatical seems to have been to "take it easy" I could see her shunning anything that might have been even a little difficult.

 

"As the year went on I was conscious of it not just being a holiday, but a true sabbatical for intentional spiritual rest. So I read books on Sabbath (this one being the best), books on the Bible and the Book of Mormon, books on history. I tried different and fresh ways to pray, and began to feel more connected to God. I worked to be a better friend to the people around me, a value I’d too often neglected, ironically enough, when I was busy doing “the Lord’s work” at church. And at the end of the year, I went back to church a saner and more spiritually healthy person, ready to put my shoulder to the wheel."

Spending Sundays in study and contemplation, nurturing relationships, and praying earnestly doesn't strike me as "taking it easy" and avoiding anything requiring effort. It wasn't as if she was just lounging around and napping (something I and many others like to do after church).

Edited August 19, 2015 by Nevo

[jkwilliams]

I think this thread (full of people condemning her, calling her dumb, disobedient, covenant breaking etc) more than justifies the decision to attend somewhere else for a year. I think attending with a group of people that were looking down at you as a covenant breaking sinner would defeat the purpose of a sabbatical.

I stopped going to church completely for about 8 months. Ironically, it was the way my wife was treated that motivated me to start attending sacrament meetings again. She would come home in tears every Sunday because, without fail, someone would come up and express pity that she was married to someone who wasn't a faithful priesthood holder. She told me, "I know they mean well, but I hate it that they can't see what kind of man and husband you are. All they see is someone who isn't active." So, I started going just so she wouldn't have to deal with that anymore.

[ttribe]

For those who don't want to take a year off, I can take theirs.

 

Good one.

[SeekingUnderstanding]

Is intellectually misguided more palatable for you?

What you did brought you closer to God. What she did brought her closer to God. Why do you feel the need to call her dumb or intellectually misguided? Is it impossible for you to fathom that others might walk a different path on their journey to the divine? Have you met Sister Riess? Are you familiar with her work or her life?

[Calm]

A coloring page on the program cover? What a great idea!

Are you able to find the clip art easily enough?

I am repeating stuff about once a year but "site:lds.org" "coloring" and the whatever the topic is (we follow the youth Sunday school themes which is why there is a yearly repetition) on google brings up most of what I use. I on occasion will use a clip art book by one of the artists for the Friend. It is over 20 years old, but I can look for something similar if someone is interested. I've used nonlds.org online stuff just on occasion, for the Payson temple month for example. Trying to use stuff on lds.org comes from years of being a ward librarian, I like to keep inhouse as much as possible. Edited August 19, 2015 by calmoriah

[SeekingUnderstanding]

There is a disturbing trend of people mistaking blogs for journals, and seeking approval rather than salvation.

The church is continually telling us to share our faith in an authentic way. Sister Riess shared what helped her participate fully and without reservation in the church by getting through a dark time of her life. I don't get the problem.

[Saint Sinner]

Having been gone from the Church for 6 years, I have no intention to return because that would be the easier option in my life. I can't go back. This isn't a negative against the Church but a reality I've come to accept.

[sethpayne]

That's great. Seth. Sometimes I wish I'd been able to do that.

 

Thanks, John.  I will say that I count myself very very fortunate.  I was very lucky to be surrounded by LDS folks who were first and foremost concerned about *me.*  Their concern wasn't dependent on my level of Church activity.  

 

Others are in much different circumstances and, to be honest, had I personally encountered from close family or ward members some of the attitudes being expressed here, I wonder if I would have returned.  That's not necessarily a criticism.  I understand the theological reasons behind what some folks are saying here.  But the fact remains that there are times in our lives that require us to step back and reflect on our priorities and obligations.  So I suppose I don't see much benefit in criticizing those who feel they need to do just that.

[smac97]

I am frankly shocked at how judgmental, and even angry, the OP sounds in response to her story.

Are you mad because you believe you have valiantly stuck it out, and you believe she is just giving herself a free ride?

Is it akin to the man who hired workers in his field, and paid them all the same no matter which part of the day he hired them in?

Let someone's personal walk with their LORD, be their's- and let your walk be your's.

 

I dislike seeing Latter-day Saints encouraging other Latter-day Saints to disregard their duties under the Restored Gospel.  I dislike Latter-day Saints setting themselves up as voices providing counsel which is at odds with the counsel given by the prophets and apostles.

 

That's my main beef.  

 

Thanks,

 

-Smac

[jkwilliams]

Thanks, John.  I will say that I count myself very very fortunate.  I was very lucky to be surrounded by LDS folks who were first and foremost concerned about *me.*  Their concern wasn't dependent on my level of Church activity.  

 

Others are in much different circumstances and, to be honest, had I personally encountered from close family or ward members some of the attitudes being expressed here, I wonder if I would have returned.  That's not necessarily a criticism.  I understand the theological reasons behind what some folks are saying here.  But the fact remains that there are times in our lives that require us to step back and reflect on our priorities and obligations.  So I suppose I don't see much benefit in criticizing those who feel they need to do just that.

 

When I go to sacrament meeting, I just try to glean the good stuff I can and ignore the rest. It's weird, but because I'm trying to find good things, I find I'm paying more attention than I used to, and more than a lot of people in the meeting. So, maybe to get more out of sacrament meeting, you have to apostatize. 

[Saint Sinner]

I dislike seeing Latter-day Saints encouraging other Latter-day Saints to disregard their duties under the Restored Gospel.  I dislike Latter-day Saints setting themselves up as voices providing counsel which is at odds with the counsel given by the prophets and apostles.

 

That's my main beef.  

 

Thanks,

 

-Smac

I'm not debating your position but do you think it wrong for one person to say to another that they should do what they feel is right for them?

[sethpayne]

When I go to sacrament meeting, I just try to glean the good stuff I can and ignore the rest. It's weird, but because I'm trying to find good things, I find I'm paying more attention than I used to, and more than a lot of people in the meeting. So, maybe to get more out of sacrament meeting, you have to apostatize. 

 

Sacrament meeting -- and Church services in general -- became much more meaningful after I "took a break."  The biggest reason, I think, is because during my time away I realized that I *missed* communion and service with the Saints.  As a result, when I started attending meetings, doing my callings, and helping people move (the standard EQ service project!) I was doing it because it was something I wanted to do as an expression of my faith.  I can relate to Jana when she says that Church can become a burden.  And I would say that anyone who feels like their Church service is a chore/burden/drag -- may really benefit from some reflection.

[jkwilliams]

Sacrament meeting -- and Church services in general -- became much more meaningful after I "took a break."  The biggest reason, I think, is because during my time away I realized that I *missed* communion and service with the Saints.  As a result, when I started attending meetings, doing my callings, and helping people move (the standard EQ service project!) I was doing it because it was something I wanted to do as an expression of my faith.  I can relate to Jana when she says that Church can become a burden.  And I would say that anyone who feels like their Church service is a chore/burden/drag -- may really benefit from some reflection.

 

I never felt like it was a chore or a burden. It wasn't until after I left that I realized how unhappy I'd been and how tired I was. Of course, a lot of that was a result of chronic depression, and I was able to acknowledge the depression and deal with it after I left the church. I should say I haven't left the church, as I'm still on the records and officially a high priest.

[SeekingUnderstanding]

I dislike seeing Latter-day Saints encouraging other Latter-day Saints to disregard their duties under the Restored Gospel.  I dislike Latter-day Saints setting themselves up as voices providing counsel which is at odds with the counsel given by the prophets and apostles.

 

That's my main beef.  

 

Thanks,

 

-Smac

This is not what Jana does. Sister Riess offers a middle path for those thinking of just quitting altogether. She isn't sharing this in Sunday School, or preaching this as officially endorsed by the Church.

 

Our eternal progression is all onwards and upwards . . . until for some people it’s not, and their crisis is severe enough that they worry they have to leave the Church forever because of the despair they’re feeling right now.

A sabbatical is a middle ground, a chance for the exhausted or the doubting to step back and regain some much-needed perspective.

She is saying hold on, you don't need to quit. If things are really bad for you right now, maybe you just need a break. It worked for her and it worked for Seth Payne. Prophets and Apostles have counseled us to be authentic and share our faith. Jana is doing just that. Her path isn't for everyone, but it has worked for her. If it helps someone who is thinking of leaving the church to return to not do so isn't that a win? And can't we discuss this without calling Jana a sinning, lying, dumb, covenant breaker? Not all those words are yours, but your OP certainly set the tone of the thread.

[sethpayne]

 I should say I haven't left the church, as I'm still on the records and officially a high priest.

 

Of course.  We need to retain our cover as leaders of the Fifth Column.

Edited August 19, 2015 by sethpayne

[jkwilliams]

Of course.  We need to remain our cover as leaders of the Fifth Column.

 

Well, I do have a reputation to uphold as the worst kind of anti-Mormon there is. At least that's what someone told me.

[bluebell]

"As the year went on I was conscious of it not just being a holiday, but a true sabbatical for intentional spiritual rest. So I read books on Sabbath (this one being the best), books on the Bible and the Book of Mormon, books on history. I tried different and fresh ways to pray, and began to feel more connected to God. I worked to be a better friend to the people around me, a value I’d too often neglected, ironically enough, when I was busy doing “the Lord’s work” at church. And at the end of the year, I went back to church a saner and more spiritually healthy person, ready to put my shoulder to the wheel."

Spending Sundays in study and contemplation, nurturing relationships, and praying earnestly doesn't strike me as "taking it easy" and avoiding anything requiring effort. It wasn't as if she was just lounging around and napping (something I and many others like to do after church).

Because I'm an introvert, doing that kind of studying on my own is my ultimate definition of taking it easy. Dealing only with myself and my issues and ignoring everyone else's would be an awesome vacation! :pardon;

What are your thoughts on why an hour each Sunday at a Protestant church was doable for her but an hour at sacrament meeting was not?