Breast Augmentation

[st_anger87]

Hello,

My wife, 19 years old and raised in the church, wants to get a boob job. Her breast size and other body image issues have plagued her for years, but mostly she focuses on her small breasts. We have had many discussions about the possibility of her getting the surgery, but we are concerned that it would be a sin. Since our bodies are temples, modifying that temple could go against the word of our Lord. 

 

I would like to note that I am against her getting the surgery for many reasons, but this one is obviously the most important. Does anyone have any insight on whether or not plastic surgery would be considered a sin?

 

Also, one more bit of information. She was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which can instill these issues deep with in a person.  Along with the BPD also comes lots of deep depression and anxiety. She has attempted suicide several times in the past year, and is going through counseling and is on meds. How does mental health play into Christ's judgement?

 

I would like info from people who are in the know on these situations, I don't want to hear personal opinions or judgments. 

 

Thank you for your time. 

[Kenngo1969]

From what you've said, it seems that you've probably already told your wife this, but it seems as though your wife needs to work on herself from the inside out.  Trying to fix body image issues (and many other issues) from the outside in simply gets people hooked on such things as plastic surgery, expensive cosmetics, the latest exercise or diet fad, and so on.

[bluebell]

If it's a sin then I know a lot of LDS women that need to repent!

Seriously though, I don't think Christ is ever happy when we are so focused on our physical appearance, I have no idea if doing such is sinful or just a weakness of humanity. Thank goodness I don't have to judge.

It sounds like your wife has a lot going on emotionally and mentally right now. I think most good surgeons would decline doing such a surgery on a person in such a state anyway.

She should probably focus on getting that stuff under control first.

[Storm Rider]

I am not aware of any leader taking the position that plastic surgery, and all that falls under that umbrella from breast augmentation to tummy tucks, is a sin.  

 

Your wife appears to be in a very delicate position.  To attempt suicide speaks volumes about here current emotional state this year.  I would hope that both of you focus on the simple things first:  eating properly, getting appropriate daily amounts of exercise, and having proper sleep patterns.  This will assist greatly to improve her personal health as she engages in counseling.  As she becomes a person more capable of coping with the challenges of life and has a more in-depth understanding of her own motivations and emotions, then it may be a more healthy time to discuss what cosmetic changes she truly desires or not.  

[Judd]

Only speaking in generalities, but with someone with borderline personality disorder getting a boob job I would anticipate a poor prognosis as far as that augmentation making them feel any different. On the other hand, she's only 19. A lot of borderline traits can settle some. There's even some argument about not diagnosing personality disorders until mid-20s.

Edited June 20, 2015 by Judd

[Kenngo1969]

I'm a guy, so what the heck do I know , but ... I've had so much non-elective surgery that I simply can't fathom why anyone would go under the knife for elective reasons having to do, essentially, with vanity.  There are risks to every surgery, no matter how seemingly "minor" or "routine," and, while I'm sure most plastic surgeons are competent and ethical, some of them, quite frankly, are hacks (and this particular specialty probably lends itself more to "hackery" and "quackery" than most).   If I were a plastic surgeon, I likely would confine my practice to the correction of genuine deformities, and the only circumstance under which I could see myself agreeing to perform a breast augmentation is post-mastectomy.

[Avatar4321]

I think you have far more serious issues.

First, you're sharing extremely personal information about your wife on a public internet board. It seems discussions in the family should stay in the family.

Second, your main concern is whether it's a sin or not. While that is an important consideration for why the surgery should or shouldn't be done, it shouldn't be the most important one. You should want her not to have the surgery because you love her as she is, not because it's a sin. Your motivation feels off about it. And considering what else you've told us about her, she may be sensing that your opposition isn't based out of you loving her as she is.

Third, this decision should not be taken lightly. Fasting and prayer should attend it. Our body is a temple, but I don't think that alone is reason to oppose or support surgery. We are to beautify our temples, aren't we? The problem we facr is focusing so much on the outside and letting the inside rot. Also it seems mental health factors should be taken into account. I don't think the issue is cut and dry.

Get the spirit of the Lord. Love her. Not just in word but show her. She needs that more.

[Avatar4321]

Also I highly recommend doing everything you can to get the spirit in your home. Daily family scripture study and daily family prayer. FHE. Priesthood blessing. Dedicating your home singing the hymns of Zion. Get the spirit and many of the struggles your wife faces will heal.

[Garden Girl]

You didn't ask for personal opinions or judgments, but that is what you have gotten... you simply wanted "someone in the know about these things" to tell you if it is a sin... So I will only say that if I had the funds, I'd be on my way down to the best plastic surgeon I could find and getting rid of my blasted double chin...

Speaking generally, I'm glad she's working with a counselor who can help her work through some of the self esteem/personal image issues.  And I hope she will come to appreciate her true worth.

Speaking specifically, I too have never heard a GA say that plastic surgery is a sin.   

 

GG

[thesometimesaint]

It's NOT a sin, but she has bigger problems than the size of her boobs.

[UtahTexan]

The body IS a temple.....but as we have seen, even the Temples get renovated.

 

I am unaware of any teaching regarding this type of surgery being a sin.  Often, changes like she contemplates DO help people with low self-esteem.  Everyone is different.  What seems petty to some IS important to others.  We should not judge her unless we have lived her life, faced her issues, dealt with any ridicule she has felt.

 

We should pray they pray about this step and be open to answers they are given.

[Calm]

Given her emotional and mental state I would be very cautious. If she has surgery and then doesn't feel different, it could be crushing. However, if it actually helped a bit, it might make it easier for her to focus on making internal changes she needs to in order to balance out.

At nineteen, there are a lot of stresses and fears about what life is going to be like. Is she going to college? Is she working at a job she likes? Are you as young and if so, are there financial stresses in your life because neither of you are earning significantly yet? Are you finished with your schooling and settled in your career or not yet? If not, there could be moves in the future that are highly stressful. What kind of family support does she and you have.

It is extremely complicated, but one thing you don't have to worry about is if the surgery is sinful. That is her choice, not yours...if she feels God isn't concerned about it, then you shouldn't be either. If she is troubled by the idea though, she needs to get it settled before the surgery in her heart and mind, otherwise it may end up adding to her problems.

She needs to understand that surgery may cause problems as well such as scarring or numbness in the area. I dont know if it will interfere with breast feeding or cause pain associated with lactation. Research all the negatives as well as positives. Given her current issues, it sounds like if surgery isn't a perfect result, she might end up feeling worse.

Are you planning on having children? Not that it would be appropriate now given both she needs to be on meds that pregnant women shouldnt be taking in all probability and pregnancy's hormonal changes can depression and other issues she does not need if she is suicidal at times.

Since she is quite young still, perhaps it would help to say please wait for our first child to see if there would be additional problems...or wait until after you have decided to not have more children as the breast itself changes with pregnancy and lactation and the surgery may end up not looking as good if she had waited till after the major changes in her body were mostly done so she doesn't have to have a repeat.

Edited June 20, 2015 by calmoriah

[Calm]

"I would like info from people who are in the know on these situations, I don't want to hear personal opinions or judgments."

Then you should go to your bishop, ask to read what the handbook says about elective cosmetic surgery and then discuss it with him.

Thinking you are going to get high quality responses from total strangers just by posting on the Internet a small amount of information about your situation honestly makes me concerned about your choices in dealing with your own concerns. This is a quick and easy approach. You need to take responsibility and go to those who have the authority as spiritual leaders for questions on sin and those who have professional training for mental health. Don't waste time sitting in front of the screen unless you are looking on serious medical sites for information.

Edited June 20, 2015 by calmoriah

[Calm]

Also I highly recommend doing everything you can to get the spirit in your home. Daily family scripture study and daily family prayer. FHE. Priesthood blessing. Dedicating your home singing the hymns of Zion. Get the spirit and many of the struggles your wife faces will heal.

That would depend on the cause of her issues. Unfortunately even among the most faithful, healing doesn't always come. It would seem the Lord wants us to learn something from our struggles and the struggles of loved ones.

I am not saying he shouldn't do these things as they may help him to a great extent to be the kind of support his wife needs. But it may make no difference to his wife unless she finds medication and counselling that allows her to feel the spirit.

And sometimes the medication itself can interfere. I took an antidepressant for three years due to a misdiagnosis of my sleep disorder that prevented me from feeling the Spirit. Within a few days of not taking it, the door was open again for me. During that time I found other ways to look for guidance from the Spirit but I had decades before that to develop a trust that the Spirit was there for me. At her young age and past difficulties, she might not have that sort of blessing to hold her during the dark spiritual times. And adding any burden of guilt to her because she doesn't sense the Spirit will not help so please don't develop expectations on that level.

[Calm]

. I think most good surgeons would decline doing such a surgery on a person in such a state.

The problem is whether or not they take the time to find out. Given the acceptance of cosmetic surgery I highly doubt it, so if she doesn't exhibit obvious symptoms during office visits, they may not know if they are not taking a broad medical history or if she isn't open about her difficulties.

Edited June 20, 2015 by calmoriah

[Calm]

And the whole sharing intimate details about your wife's struggles to total strangers is very questionable as well. It is not respectful. If you want to share your own struggles, that is different but there are other ways to get this info that you asked about...you could of just asked in general what was the Church's policy towards elective cosmetic surgery (not all cosmetic surgery is to look good, some is necessary for health reasons or has nothing to do with looks so I add the qualification of elective). You should ask the moderators (use the report function) to delete the thread. There is a good chance they will lock it anyway.

I understand you yourself need emotional and informational support to help you deal with the difficulties. I suggest you look for support groups for family members in your area (better face to face) or if that is not available, look for private online communities that are specific to your situation.

My opinion is based on eons of dealing with individuals with mental and emotional issues including suicide if you need that info to take my comments seriously plus a degree in clinical psych though no professional life.

Edited June 20, 2015 by calmoriah

[Traela]

I'll admit right up front that I really don't like the concept of non-corrective plastic surgery. So there's my bias right there. Whether it's specifically a sin or not, I can't say, but it could easily fall under the umbrella sins of pride or vanity.

Nevertheless, focusing on the sin aspect seems an odd approach. As previous posters have said, it would be far better to reassure her that she is beautiful as she is. Help her to understand that her fixation on her appearance is probably linked to what's going on inside her head. Plus, her body may not have finished developing yet.

I hope that she would agree to a compromise: work on the psychological issues first. Get them under control, and then reevaluate her desire for surgery. Maybe she'll still want it, maybe she won't.

[ttribe]

Answer to question about surgery - Not a sin.

 

Unsolicited advice - BPD is extremely difficult to deal with.  I have a member of my extended family with BPD and know from experience how incredibly difficult this is to deal with.  Make sure she has good counseling, as well as good doctors.  You, too, should consider some type of counseling and/or support group on how to live with someone who has BPD.  It's extremely hard on the people closest to them.