So, The Missionaries Just Came By!

[saemo]

I'm not usually home on Friday, so here I am, the day off for Good Friday. I've been to our parish veneration of the Cross. On the way home I bought eggs to boil for Easter. Just as I'm setting them up for boiling, my doggies start barking and I see the Sisters walking up to my door. I said a quick prayer, for God to give me patience, and answered the door.

Nice young ladies. We chatted about Easter when they asked me what I'm doing for Easter. So I said, I've been to Mass today and will go again tomorrow night and then will have Easter dinner on Sunday. They asked me "What's Mass?" I said it is sorta, kinda, like a LDS Sacrament meeting. So they asked about going to Mass on Saturday instead of Sunday, and I then explained that Easter begins for us at sundown on Saturday, and I go to the Saturday night Vigil because I'm involved with converts coming to the Catholic Church and we have people being baptized tomorrow night.

They said, oh, nice to meet you and have a Happy Easter, and left. Not in a rush or anything.

A different visit than usual, in that, usually the missionaries irritate the heck out of me just for showing up at my door! But I think hanging out here with y'all has helped me have more patience. So thanks!

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

I'm not usually home on Friday, so here I am, the day off for Good Friday. I've been to our parish veneration of the Cross. On the way home I bought eggs to boil for Easter. Just as I'm setting them up for boiling, my doggies start barking and I see the Sisters walking up to my door. I said a quick prayer, for God to give me patience, and answered the door.

Nice young ladies. We chatted about Easter when they asked me what I'm doing for Easter. So I said, I've been to Mass today and will go again tomorrow night and then will have Easter dinner on Sunday. They asked me "What's Mass?" I said it is sorta, kinda, like a LDS Sacrament meeting. So they asked about going to Mass on Saturday instead of Sunday, and I then explained that Easter begins for us at sundown on Saturday, and I go to the Saturday night Vigil because I'm involved with converts coming to the Catholic Church and we have people being baptized tomorrow night.

They said, oh, nice to meet you and have a Happy Easter, and left. Not in a rush or anything.

A different visit than usual, in that, usually the missionaries irritate the heck out of me just for showing up at my door! But I think hanging out here with y'all has helped me have more patience. So thanks!

They are humble and carry the Spirit of God with them...but they can show up when it is not convenient or when the house is a mess.

[Kenngo1969]

I hope you have a Happy Easter, as well, Saemo.

[Garden Girl]

I'm not usually home on Friday, so here I am, the day off for Good Friday. I've been to our parish veneration of the Cross. On the way home I bought eggs to boil for Easter. Just as I'm setting them up for boiling, my doggies start barking and I see the Sisters walking up to my door. I said a quick prayer, for God to give me patience, and answered the door.

Nice young ladies. We chatted about Easter when they asked me what I'm doing for Easter. So I said, I've been to Mass today and will go again tomorrow night and then will have Easter dinner on Sunday. They asked me "What's Mass?" I said it is sorta, kinda, like a LDS Sacrament meeting. So they asked about going to Mass on Saturday instead of Sunday, and I then explained that Easter begins for us at sundown on Saturday, and I go to the Saturday night Vigil because I'm involved with converts coming to the Catholic Church and we have people being baptized tomorrow night.

They said, oh, nice to meet you and have a Happy Easter, and left. Not in a rush or anything.

A different visit than usual, in that, usually the missionaries irritate the heck out of me just for showing up at my door! But I think hanging out here with y'all has helped me have more patience. So thanks!

 

They actually didn't know what Mass was?  I'm astonished... what sort of sheltered life have they led??  I amazed someone their age does not know of Catholic Mass... thank you for treating them graciously...

 

GG

[The Nehor]

They actually didn't know what Mass was?  I'm astonished... what sort of sheltered life have they led??

 

Obviously from Utah and/or Idaho. 

[Storm Rider]

I'm not usually home on Friday, so here I am, the day off for Good Friday. I've been to our parish veneration of the Cross. On the way home I bought eggs to boil for Easter. Just as I'm setting them up for boiling, my doggies start barking and I see the Sisters walking up to my door. I said a quick prayer, for God to give me patience, and answered the door.

Nice young ladies. We chatted about Easter when they asked me what I'm doing for Easter. So I said, I've been to Mass today and will go again tomorrow night and then will have Easter dinner on Sunday. They asked me "What's Mass?" I said it is sorta, kinda, like a LDS Sacrament meeting. So they asked about going to Mass on Saturday instead of Sunday, and I then explained that Easter begins for us at sundown on Saturday, and I go to the Saturday night Vigil because I'm involved with converts coming to the Catholic Church and we have people being baptized tomorrow night.

They said, oh, nice to meet you and have a Happy Easter, and left. Not in a rush or anything.

A different visit than usual, in that, usually the missionaries irritate the heck out of me just for showing up at my door! But I think hanging out here with y'all has helped me have more patience. So thanks!

 

The great thing is that you were able to teach them some things about your own traditions and practices.  Ignorance is too easy to stamp out.  It is also great that they respected you and wished you Happy Easter.  We may have different ways of practicing our faith from one another, but we worship and have gratitude for the same Lord and Savior. 

[saemo]

They are humble and carry the Spirit of God with them...but they can show up when it is not convenient or when the house is a mess.

No one ever just shows up when the house is clean.

[saemo]

I hope you have a Happy Easter, as well, Saemo.

Thanks, you too.

[saemo]

They actually didn't know what Mass was? I'm astonished... what sort of sheltered life have they led?? I amazed someone their age does not know of Catholic Mass... thank you for treating them graciously...

GG

Eh, well, young LDS in Utah don't know much about anything but Mormonism. I know I didn't when I was their age.

But yes, I'm getting soft. Ha! They reminded me of my daughter. I couldn't be anything but nice to them.

Edited April 19, 2014 by saemo

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Eh, well, young LDS in Utah don't know much about anything but Mormonism. I know I didn't when I was their age.

But yes, I'm getting soft. Ha! They reminded me of my daughter. I couldn't be anything but nice to them.

Good point about what they know...we adults get to learn from the from the Bible alone for two years in every four.

[Tacenda]

I'm not usually home on Friday, so here I am, the day off for Good Friday. I've been to our parish veneration of the Cross. On the way home I bought eggs to boil for Easter. Just as I'm setting them up for boiling, my doggies start barking and I see the Sisters walking up to my door. I said a quick prayer, for God to give me patience, and answered the door.

Nice young ladies. We chatted about Easter when they asked me what I'm doing for Easter. So I said, I've been to Mass today and will go again tomorrow night and then will have Easter dinner on Sunday. They asked me "What's Mass?" I said it is sorta, kinda, like a LDS Sacrament meeting. So they asked about going to Mass on Saturday instead of Sunday, and I then explained that Easter begins for us at sundown on Saturday, and I go to the Saturday night Vigil because I'm involved with converts coming to the Catholic Church and we have people being baptized tomorrow night.

They said, oh, nice to meet you and have a Happy Easter, and left. Not in a rush or anything.

A different visit than usual, in that, usually the missionaries irritate the heck out of me just for showing up at my door! But I think hanging out here with y'all has helped me have more patience. So thanks!

I wonder why they don't set up times to visit, I like this post from NOM, I hope she's sincere and really does want the sisters to visit and not to just yank their chain.  Here is the post, sound familiar? PS: I like her "rock star" comment.  I think there is some truth in it. 

 

C/P Below:

 

"So, I got a text at just before 10pm last night from the sister missionaries asking if they can come visit on Saturday.

I promptly and politely said no, that my husband is home all day on the weekends and it isn't fair to him (he's a non-member) for me to have them over since our apartment is an open space and sound carries. He didn't sign up to hear about the Book of Mormon on his Saturday afternoon. I offered to meet them someplace else in the morning or afternoon and I also offered two alternative dates/times later on in the week if they were deadset on meeting in my apartment.

The response I've received so far? Crickets.

I also specified that I needed to know as soon as possible if one of the alternate dates/times worked for them to visit since if they didn't plan on coming over I'd make other plans. I haven't heard back anything from them about tomorrow so I just went ahead and texted them that my Saturday is now booked but they still have two more options during the week and I'd appreciate hearing back from them soon so I don't double-book anything.

They seem to want to come over fairly often but it's never at a time that works for me (or there isn't enough advance notice) so I say no. But when I offer times that do work for me the response is often silence. What's the etiquette here? Are missionaries supposed to be like rock stars for church members? Am I supposed to be delighted that they want to drop by at their convenience? I've heard several times in church about the great blessings and increased presence of the spirit that comes from feeding the missionaries or having them in your home so I'm wondering if I'm unknowingly being rude (by church standards) since I'm clearly stating that I don't want my husband exposed to church stuff on his day off and that they are not the priority in my scheduling.

It's a small boundary issue but, at the same time, it seems like a totally avoidable one that's simple to resolve. I'm trying to be welcoming but on my own terms and what I get in response is nothing. I'm willing to own that there might be some cultural thing here that I'm cluelessly violating so help me out- is there something I'm missing?"

[bluebell]

 

I wonder why they don't set up times to visit, I like this post from NOM, I hope she's sincere and really does want the sisters to visit and not to just yank their chain.  Here is the post, sound familiar? PS: I like her "rock star" comment.  I think there is some truth in it. 

 

C/P Below:

 

"So, I got a text at just before 10pm last night from the sister missionaries asking if they can come visit on Saturday.

I promptly and politely said no, that my husband is home all day on the weekends and it isn't fair to him (he's a non-member) for me to have them over since our apartment is an open space and sound carries. He didn't sign up to hear about the Book of Mormon on his Saturday afternoon. I offered to meet them someplace else in the morning or afternoon and I also offered two alternative dates/times later on in the week if they were deadset on meeting in my apartment.

The response I've received so far? Crickets.

I also specified that I needed to know as soon as possible if one of the alternate dates/times worked for them to visit since if they didn't plan on coming over I'd make other plans. I haven't heard back anything from them about tomorrow so I just went ahead and texted them that my Saturday is now booked but they still have two more options during the week and I'd appreciate hearing back from them soon so I don't double-book anything.

They seem to want to come over fairly often but it's never at a time that works for me (or there isn't enough advance notice) so I say no. But when I offer times that do work for me the response is often silence. What's the etiquette here? Are missionaries supposed to be like rock stars for church members? Am I supposed to be delighted that they want to drop by at their convenience? I've heard several times in church about the great blessings and increased presence of the spirit that comes from feeding the missionaries or having them in your home so I'm wondering if I'm unknowingly being rude (by church standards) since I'm clearly stating that I don't want my husband exposed to church stuff on his day off and that they are not the priority in my scheduling.

It's a small boundary issue but, at the same time, it seems like a totally avoidable one that's simple to resolve. I'm trying to be welcoming but on my own terms and what I get in response is nothing. I'm willing to own that there might be some cultural thing here that I'm cluelessly violating so help me out- is there something I'm missing?"

 

 

What she needs to be willing to own is not that it's a cultural thing, but that it's a teenager thing.  

 

Kids just don't always consider these types of issues.  They have rarely if ever been in a situation where they have been on the other end, so they don't often understand how annoying and rude it is.  I think she's handling it perfectly.  They'll learn eventually (and they need to) but she might have to be more obvious about it and just tell them flat out that it bothers her when they don't take the time to try to work with her schedule or return her texts when time frame is an issue.

[ERayR]

Obviously from Utah and/or Idaho. 

 

I am insulted.  We have Catholics in Idaho and most of us know what Mass is.

[The Nehor]

I am insulted.  We have Catholics in Idaho and most of us know what Mass is.

 

Well, if you wish to demand satisfaction I am ready for a duel if you are.

[Garden Girl]

What she needs to be willing to own is not that it's a cultural thing, but that it's a teenager thing.  

 

Kids just don't always consider these types of issues.  They have rarely if ever been in a situation where they have been on the other end, so they don't often understand how annoying and rude it is.  I think she's handling it perfectly.  They'll learn eventually (and they need to) but she might have to be more obvious about it and just tell them flat out that it bothers her when they don't take the time to try to work with her schedule or return her texts when time frame is an issue.

 

Exactly... she should just tell them... there's no excuse for them not to respond... nor to take into consideration her time and feelings about her husband.  When I was a stake missionary, I used to go on splits with the sister mishes... many times they did that "just  drop in" thing.  After several times of catching people in inconvenient or uncomfortable situations, I said No More!  I would not go with them unless they had schedule appts because I was through being embarrassed or embarrassing anyone else.  The worst was the time an investigator answered the door, obviously tipsy, and with a man in the next room!  She was very uncomfortable... and another time a less active was not well and she and her husband had turned in a little early (it was about 7:30) and the husband got up to answer the door.  Enough!  I firmly told our ward mission leader I would no longer be part of that type of dropping in unannounced...

 

GG 

[saemo]

I wonder why they don't set up times to visit, I like this post from NOM, I hope she's sincere and really does want the sisters to visit and not to just yank their chain. Here is the post, sound familiar? PS: I like her "rock star" comment. I think there is some truth in it.

C/P Below:

"So, I got a text at just before 10pm last night from the sister missionaries asking if they can come visit on Saturday.

I promptly and politely said no, that my husband is home all day on the weekends and it isn't fair to him (he's a non-member) for me to have them over since our apartment is an open space and sound carries. He didn't sign up to hear about the Book of Mormon on his Saturday afternoon. I offered to meet them someplace else in the morning or afternoon and I also offered two alternative dates/times later on in the week if they were deadset on meeting in my apartment.

The response I've received so far? Crickets.

I also specified that I needed to know as soon as possible if one of the alternate dates/times worked for them to visit since if they didn't plan on coming over I'd make other plans. I haven't heard back anything from them about tomorrow so I just went ahead and texted them that my Saturday is now booked but they still have two more options during the week and I'd appreciate hearing back from them soon so I don't double-book anything.

They seem to want to come over fairly often but it's never at a time that works for me (or there isn't enough advance notice) so I say no. But when I offer times that do work for me the response is often silence. What's the etiquette here? Are missionaries supposed to be like rock stars for church members? Am I supposed to be delighted that they want to drop by at their convenience? I've heard several times in church about the great blessings and increased presence of the spirit that comes from feeding the missionaries or having them in your home so I'm wondering if I'm unknowingly being rude (by church standards) since I'm clearly stating that I don't want my husband exposed to church stuff on his day off and that they are not the priority in my scheduling.

It's a small boundary issue but, at the same time, it seems like a totally avoidable one that's simple to resolve. I'm trying to be welcoming but on my own terms and what I get in response is nothing. I'm willing to own that there might be some cultural thing here that I'm cluelessly violating so help me out- is there something I'm missing?"

If it were me, I wouldn't worry over making appointments and just drop it. Missionaries, and other Mormons just show up at my door. If I'm here, I'm here, if I'm not I'm not. Times are I don't answer the door at all, if I don't feel like talking to missionaries. Thought about not answering the door yesterday, but wasn't doing anything but boiling eggs, so I did. I haven't ever invited them in. But I'm not a member.

I've had visiting teacher assignments ask if they can call me, I say sure, but then they don't ask for my number. They act like they have it. I don't worry about it.

Edited April 19, 2014 by saemo

[saemo]

Funny story, that texting brought to mind. My husband was getting text messages from who knows. Random things, but obviously LDS related sometimes, and sometimes not. One was an invitation to come watch the game after church. He responded that he would bring the beer. The unknown person who sent the invitation, said ummmm, this is Brother Whatever. The text messages stopped after that.

[Iggy]

 But I'm not a member.

I've had visiting teacher assignments ask if they can call me, I say sure, but then they don't ask for my number. They act like they have it. I don't worry about it.

I'm confused - If you are not a member - why did the VT come by? 

[saemo]

Ah, well, I'm in a database somewhere, which means to LDS, I'm still Mormon. I don't self identify as LDS, haven't for decades. I also haven't participated in a ward, at all, in any way, since c.1985. *shrug* I used to get irritated beyond belief that the ward members wouldn't leave me alone, but, now my daughter is grown I don't feel so mama bear protective of her. To me, it's whatever. Come around if you want, or don't.

[Iggy]

Ah, well, I'm in a database somewhere, which means to LDS, I'm still Mormon. I don't self identify as LDS, haven't for decades. I also haven't participated in a ward, at all, in any way, since c.1985. *shrug* I used to get irritated beyond belief that the ward members wouldn't leave me alone, but, now my daughter is grown I don't feel so mama bear protective of her. To me, it's whatever. Come around if you want, or don't.

Why haven't you had your name removed from the records? That way there is no way any members from the Ward will bother you. Just contact the Bishop - by phone if you want - tell him to mail you the forms you need to fill out to have your name expunged. 

[Kenngo1969]

Ah, well, I'm in a database somewhere, which means to LDS, I'm still Mormon. I don't self identify as LDS, haven't for decades. I also haven't participated in a ward, at all, in any way, since c.1985. *shrug* I used to get irritated beyond belief that the ward members wouldn't leave me alone, but, now my daughter is grown I don't feel so mama bear protective of her. [Emphasis added by Kenngo1969.]  To me, it's whatever. Come around if you want, or don't.

I find that reaction ... interesting.  But, maybe that's just me.  (The irritation I can understand ... somewhat; the rest? Not so much. )

Edited April 21, 2014 by Kenngo1969

[saemo]

Why haven't you had your name removed from the records? That way there is no way any members from the Ward will bother you. Just contact the Bishop - by phone if you want - tell him to mail you the forms you need to fill out to have your name expunged.

There wasn't any such thing, or if there was no internet to hear about it. The first I heard of resigning was around 1999/2000. I don't see the point. It's not my database to maintain! But no, Mormons still come around. My daughter has never been baptized and ward members and missionaries come around asking for her by name and send invitations to her for ward functions. The database isn't so accurate, or not really used, or something! Edited April 22, 2014 by saemo

[saemo]

I find that reaction ... interesting. But, maybe that's just me. (The irritation I can understand ... somewhat; the rest? Not so much. )

It's a not-Mormon-living-in-Utah thing. My daughter was always being targeted for conversion, beginning in elementary school. She had three Book of Mormons as "gifts" before she turned 18. None came from her parents (us), who were the ones deciding how she should be raised...which was very decidedly not LDS. You have to be very vigilant and protective in Utah of your children, when you don't want them assimilated. At the time I was an atheist. As a Catholic, I know people who have moved out of Utah, or turned down jobs in Utah, because they worry their children will be targeted and pulled from their Catholic faith.

Missionaries came around when she was ten years old, asking for her by name. You can believe we were past irritated with that one. My husband ran them off the porch with strong language...cussed at them. But really, two strange young men coming around asking who lives at your home, particularly is there a ten year old named DearDaughter? What the heck?

When she was 16, and had her first job another 16 year old at her work struck up religious conversations, which she was ok with. ....until, she gave her a Book of Mormon and a couple of weeks later two missionaries show up, asking for her by name, again. I told them she was not interested and they argued that point with me. Hello! I'm her mother and I say, she isn't interested! She quit that job shortly after because the zealous coworker made her feel awkward and uncomfortable. Wouldn't leave her alone. I don't think she ever met an agnostic peer before and she couldn't let it go.

That's just how it is in Utah. *shrug* stay vigilant.

Edited April 22, 2014 by saemo

[Calm]

You may already know but as soon as a child hits 9 they are treated as a potential convert even if parents are active members and the child is active at church. Therefore missionaries are required to give the discussions to them before baptism.

Not saying it is right what happened as the family situation should be known before attempted contact with any children and whether or not the parents want the child taught, but it may not have been the missionaries just trolling for people to teach.

Edited April 22, 2014 by calmoriah

[saemo]

You may already know but as soon as a child hits 9 they are treated as a potential convert even if parents are active members and the child is active at church. Therefore missionaries are required to give the discussions to them before baptism.

Not saying it is right what happened as the family situation should be known before attempted contact with any children and whether or not the parents want the child taught, but it may not have been the missionaries just trolling for people to teach.

I've had LDS members tell me missionaries do not target minors. Why do some members think this?

We never in our lives expressed an interest to have her baptized. Proselytizing minors is really, very inappropriate. I'm sure if I went around our neighborhood, when I was an atheist, asking for the neighbors children so I could speak to them about the nonexistence of God, someone would call the police.

It is not acceptable, in any way, for any "reason", for Mormon missionaries to target minors.

Edited April 22, 2014 by saemo