Eternal Marriage ... And Spam!

[Kenngo1969]

I opened one of my e-mail accounts this morning to find the following message (only very slightly embellished by Yours Truly ... Honest!) in my in-box from RussianMailOrderBrides.com.

"My name is Natasha. I am hot Russian voman. I know how to shoot AK-47. You like hot Russian voman who know how to shoot AK-47, yes? You come to Russia, ve go visit my Uncle Vladimir, OK?"

What do you guys think of the eternal marriage possibilities? Are we talking "True, Eternal Love," here? What's my next step? Do I ask her to send a photo (of the AK-47)? Should I just bag it, and reply, "Honey, I'll settle for an average-looking American 'voman' who doesn't even know what an AK-47 is"?

Please help! I'm set so all aquiver by the Eternal Marriage possibilities on this one that my fingers are positively trembling as I type, and I don't even trust myself enough to be able to think straight.

Thanks in advance!

[thesometimesaint]

Drinking too much caffeine will do that to you. Lay off of it for a few days and the trembling hands, and the hot Russian with an AK will go away.

[Kenngo1969]

Drinking too much caffeine will do that to you. Lay off of it for a few days and the trembling hands, and the hot Russian with an AK will go away.

Dang! I was hoping I'd at least get to see a photo of the AK-47! Can I at least tell her to send my regards to her Uncle Vladimir beofre I break it off?

Edited July 4, 2012 by Kenngo1969

[Glenn101]

I think that the real question that Natasha did not answer is, does she wash dishes and do windows?

Glenn

[volgadon]

I wonder if she means her uncle Vladimir Vladimirovich. If so, you had better have her back by curfew time.

[The Nehor]

Respond with a concubinage counteroffer.

[Duncan]

I knew a guy years ago who got involved with something like this and let me tell ya problems occured.

[ERayR]

I opened one of my e-mail accounts this morning to find the following message (only very slightly embellished by Yours Truly ... Honest!) in my in-box from RussianMailOrderBrides.com.

"My name is Natasha. I am hot Russian voman. I know how to shoot AK-47. You like hot Russian voman who know how to shoot AK-47, yes? You come to Russia, ve go visit my Uncle Vladimir, OK?"

What do you guys think of the eternal marriage possibilities? Are we talking "True, Eternal Love," here? What's my next step? Do I ask her to send a photo (of the AK-47)? Should I just bag it, and reply, "Honey, I'll settle for an average-looking American 'voman' who doesn't even know what an AK-47 is"?

Please help! I'm set so all aquiver by the Eternal Marriage possibilities on this one that my fingers are positively trembling as I type, and I don't even trust myself enough to be able to think straight.

Thanks in advance!

I think you are on the right track. I would definitely want a couple of pictures of the AK-47. On a closeup and one with her holding it. Would also ask about ammo supply and spare parts.

Would also ask if she could cook and clean. If affirmative to all of the above it would definitely have serious possibilities.

Edited July 5, 2012 by ERayR

[Ron Beron]

Drinking too much caffeine will do that to you. Lay off of it for a few days and the trembling hands, and the hot Russian with an AK will go away.

Better a hot Russian than a hot AK-47.

[Damien the Leper]

Oh wow...how much more awkward can this situation get?!?

[Calm]

My husband, on one of his trips to Russia, answered the knock on his hotel door shortly after checking in and found there a tall, hot Russian woman who said "I am Olga. I give good massage. You like massage?" (without an AK-47...thank goodness as I think he would have passed out otherwise, the whole thing was stressful enough for him as it was, poor fellow).

Apparently this was after the Moscow Radisson became hooked up with the mob and such offers--straight from the front desk---became standard for the businessmen that came there along with the business centre that offered the latest in internet and other services. Eventually the American business partner, who was attempting to run it on respectable lines and who challenged the mob's involvement (which included the mayor of Moscow IIRC), protested once too often and he ended up spattered at the Metro closest to the hotel. He had been a friend to my husband. At that point I put a hold on my husband's trips to Russia. Too many of his friends and family members had run ins with the mob there (his BIL had been told by the US State Dept. that they could not guarantee his safety if he continued to travel there after he attempted to kick the mob out of his travel company after they had been 'let in' by a Russian associate).

http://en.wikipedia....wiki/Paul_Tatum

OTOH, one of the wealthy men we got to know on one of our trips over married one of the Russian tour guides--and she was one hot Russian babe, very nice woman too. Their relationship has been rocky at times, but last we heard they were still together (lasted 17 years so far if still together). There was a real deep strength in the Russian women I knew, but they did tend to be conservative in their views of what role a woman should have in a marriage even among the professionals (and I don't mean the oldest profession). It was not uncommon to hear of their husbands spending most of their free time out drinking with the guys while they struggled to keep home and family together even if their jobs were more prestigious and paid better than their husbands. Their complaints were extremely mild in comparison to what I would have expected to hear from an American woman in the same situation. Women were definitely not given the respect that men were, it was at times very uncomfortable to watch how they were treated at some faculty get togethers as some of the bosses got tipsy.

Except for one woman who was a firebrand and took no guff from anyone. She had sat on Stalin's lap as a child, had a father high up in the Party and one could look out of her apartment on to the spot where the barricades were that helped bring down the Communist government.

Edited July 5, 2012 by calmoriah

[Kenngo1969]

I wonder if she means her uncle Vladimir Vladimirovich. If so, you had better have her back by curfew time.

I think she said his last name is Putin ... Should I be worried?

[Kenngo1969]

Oh wow...how much more awkward can this situation get?!?

I don't know!

[volgadon]

I think she said his last name is Putin ... Should I be worried?

You tell me.

Whatever you do though, don't mention maritime archaeology.

[volgadon]

My husband, on one of his trips to Russia, answered the knock on his hotel door shortly after checking in and found there a tall, hot Russian woman who said "I am Olga. I give good massage. You like massage?" (without an AK-47...thank goodness as I think he would have passed out otherwise, the whole thing was stressful enough for him as it was, poor fellow).[

In one of the cities in my mission, an investigator was baptised during the winter. About the only places where you won't run the risk of hypothermia are saunas. Just after the baptism, the recptionist asked the missionaries if they wanted the girls sent in now or later.

[Calm]

Is it sad that I can so see that happening?

[Buzzard]

Did someone say SPAM????

[media=]

Sorry for the tangent, sometimes I just can't help myself...

[Kenngo1969]

Respond with a concubinage counteroffer.

[Kenngo1969]

In one of the cities in my mission, an investigator was baptised during the winter. About the only places where you won't run the risk of hypothermia are saunas. Just after the baptism, the recptionist asked the missionaries if they wanted the girls sent in now or later.

I'm guessing, say ... later? Say, after you'd vacated the premises?

[Kenngo1969]

You tell me.

Whatever you do though, don't mention maritime archaeology.

She didn't mention the whole "ex-KGB" thing!

[volgadon]

I'm guessing, say ... later? Say, after you'd vacated the premises?

I wasn't personally present.

[volgadon]

She didn't mention the whole "ex-KGB" thing!

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. The Lyubyanka only looks like a hotel from the outside.

[Damien the Leper]

In one of the cities in my mission, an investigator was baptised during the winter. About the only places where you won't run the risk of hypothermia are saunas. Just after the baptism, the recptionist asked the missionaries if they wanted the girls sent in now or later.

This answers my earlier question about this thread becoming more awkward. Thanks, Volgadon.

[volgadon]

This answers my earlier question about this thread becoming more awkward. Thanks, Volgadon.

Happy to oblige.