A Co-Worker Of My Wife Claims She Is Being Visited By My Deceased Father.

[mfbukowski]

I do have a question, did she get anything right?

What?

"C" and "7" and a "park" and the fact that every dad feels inadequate?

I guess that makes her a prophet! How could you get any of those wrong?

[Whiskeypete]

"Does the number 7 mean anything to you or him?", "Was there someone in your life that was important who has the letter "C" in their name? Your Father is describing a big man whose name has the letter "C" in his name.", "Did you have a special park you used to go to?", and "Your Dad is worried about you and wants to apologize for not being the best Dad...."

Yours is an almost textbook example of a Cold Reading:

cold reading and contacting the dead

Many cold readings do not involve fishing, vagueness, or wild guessing. The key to a successful cold reading is the willingness, ability, and effort of the client to find meaning and significance in the words of the psychic, astrologer, palm reader, medium, or the like. A medium claiming to get messages from the dead might throw out a string of ambiguous images to the client. Father figure, the month of May, the Big-H, an H with an N sound, Henna, Henry, M, maybe Michael, teaching, books, maybe something published.

[chowchow9000]

She said she had been followed by male spirit recently and then one day when she saw a picture of me on facebook the picture was altered in her eyes to shift back and forth between my image and the image of the Spirit that had been following her. She then described a man that was the same build as me and looked "more Tongan".

Big UP!

Lamanite

It sounds like she might be suffering from some sort of schizophrenia. I would recommend that she seek professional medical help.

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

In all my years I haven't heard of someone receiving such a message. What are the proper channels for messages from deceased relatives?

Why wouldn't it be reasonable to take her message and pray about it to confirm if it's true?

Phaedrus

I am willing to bet that in all your years you have never heard of the proper channels for revelation either.

ANd you are not being serious with your questions about confiming by prayer if it is true. You are trying to mock us. Of course I don't expect you to agree with me and I don't really care.

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

What?

"C" and "7" and a "park" and the fact that every dad feels inadequate?

I guess that makes her a prophet! How could you get any of those wrong?

Yeah I know. I was just curious.

[Garden Girl]

Hello Lamanite...

I'll join in here with the skeptics... this may be a sweet, nice lady, but I agree, this is so vague (the C, 7 and park remind me of questions psychics ask "someone" in an audience, and whoever responds they go from there). I don't believe this is legitimate even though this lady believes she is receiving messages.

GG

[cdowis]

An observation:

While the questions may have some meaning for you, that it is unlikely that it really is your father who is asking them. Don't be deceived by false spirits.

[katherine the great]

Sheesh! You guys are no fun at all! Didn't you ever see "Ghost" or "The Sixth Sense?" Okay, they are fiction, but still... If this woman was some kind of a con artist (like I believe many psychics are), she would want money from you. She obviously is not looking for money. She's either a little wacky, a little deceived, or she has a unique gift. If she persists, I would listen to her and answer her questions. You can choose to believe or disbelieve her, but just don't give her any money!

[Calm]

Perhaps these references might be helpful:

http://lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-joseph-smith/chapter-33-the-spiritual-gifts-of-healing-tongues-prophecy-and-discerning-of-spirits?lang=eng&query=%22false+spirits%22

http://lds.org/ensign/1986/09/spiritual-gifts?lang=eng&query=%22false+spirits%22

PS: I would do what Maidservant suggested, basically tell her thank you for the information (unless you feel inspired to do more) and that you would be seeking further revelation yourself on the matter (you don't have to be specific about what you are seeking, whether communication with your father, with the spirit she believes she has encountered or with God...but I would suggest you approach God about it first before doing anything else).

[cinepro]

Yours is an almost textbook example of a Cold Reading:

cold reading and contacting the dead

Many cold readings do not involve fishing, vagueness, or wild guessing. The key to a successful cold reading is the willingness, ability, and effort of the client to find meaning and significance in the words of the psychic, astrologer, palm reader, medium, or the like. A medium claiming to get messages from the dead might throw out a string of ambiguous images to the client. Father figure, the month of May, the Big-H, an H with an N sound, Henna, Henry, M, maybe Michael, teaching, books, maybe something published.

Omygosh, you just described my piano teacher who was like a father to me! He died on May 29th, and his first name was Hampton, which has both an H and an M. Obviously there was teaching and books, and he always wanted to publish his music.

Spooky!

[cinepro]

A co-worker of my wife claims she is being visited by my deceased Father. She claims that he has a message for me. When she contacted me she would ask questions like "Does the number 7 mean anything to you or him?", "Was there someone in your life that was important who has the letter "C" in their name? Your Father is describing a big man whose name has the letter "C" in his name.", "Did you have a special park you used to go to?", and "Your Dad is worried about you and wants to apologize for not being the best Dad...."

Here's how the conversation goes:

Her: Does the number 7 mean anything to you or him?

You: No, not any more than any other number.

Her: Was there someone in your life that was important who has the letter "C" in their name?

You: (Pause to think) You mean like "Curtis"?

Her: Yes!

You: No, no one named "Curtis".

Her: Your Father is describing a big man whose name has the letter "C" in his name.

You: So he is able to convey elements of size and gender, but still only single letters? How does that work? Please tell him that instead of using general physical descriptors that could apply to many people, to just share a first and last name. That will be much easier for both of us.

Her: Did you have a special park you used to go to?

You: No. We went to lots of different parks. I wouldn't say we had a preference for one over another.

Her:Your Dad is worried about you and wants to apologize for not being the best Dad....

You:That's odd. My dad always took great pride in the time and effort he spent raising me, and we shared many great memories with few negative experiences. Off hand, I can't think of anything that he would regret. I've also done everything I can to stay true to the principles he taught me and live my life in a way that he would be proud of, so I'm not sure why he would have any more "worry" than is usual for any parent.

Give it a shot. Some Cold Readers never give up and can go on all day. It especially helps that people tend to really focus on the things they get "right" and forget the dozens of wrong guesses leading up to that point.

I don't know if there are people who really communicate with the dead in such a way, but I do know that there are people who can pretend to do it using the "Cold Reading" techniques. There are countless demonstrations on YouTube of how it works.

So if there are people who can really do it, I'm supremely disappointed that it ends up looking just like the cold readers. And until we have a reliable way to distinguish between the real mediums and the cold readers, it's probably wise to be skeptical.

[Duncan]

Here's how the conversation goes:

Her: Does the number 7 mean anything to you or him?

You: No, not any more than any other number.

Her: Was there someone in your life that was important who has the letter "C" in their name?

You: (Pause to think) You mean like "Curtis"?

Her: Yes!

You: No, no one named "Curtis".

Her: Your Father is describing a big man whose name has the letter "C" in his name.

You: So he is able to convey elements of size and gender, but still only single letters? How does that work? Please tell him that instead of using general physical descriptors that could apply to many people, to just share a first and last name. That will be much easier for both of us.

Her: Did you have a special park you used to go to?

You: No. We went to lots of different parks. I wouldn't say we had a preference for one over another.

Her:Your Dad is worried about you and wants to apologize for not being the best Dad....

You:That's odd. My dad always took great pride in the time and effort he spent raising me, and we shared many great memories with few negative experiences. Off hand, I can't think of anything that he would regret. I've also done everything I can to stay true to the principles he taught me and live my life in a way that he would be proud of, so I'm not sure why he would have any more "worry" than is usual for any parent.

Give it a shot. Some Cold Readers never give up and can go on all day. It especially helps that people tend to really focus on the things they get "right" and forget the dozens of wrong guesses leading up to that point.

I don't know if there are people who really communicate with the dead in such a way, but I do know that there are people who can pretend to do it using the "Cold Reading" techniques. There are countless demonstrations on YouTube of how it works.

So if there are people who can really do it, I'm supremely disappointed that it ends up looking just like the cold readers. And until we have a reliable way to distinguish between the real mediums and the cold readers, it's probably wise to be skeptical.

Do you play at parties and the like?

[Lamanite]

When I was young my Sister and I had nicknames given us by our Father. I will simply ask the ghost-whisperer to ask my Father to give her those names. That should be simple enough. Surely, my Dad can muster the spiritual strength to convey his two children's nicknames. I have a sneaking suspicion that this will be met with resistance and excuses.

Big UP!

Lamanite

[Kenngo1969]

... I do have a question, did she get anything right?

Sure enough, there is a "C" in the alphabet, and it's a wonderful letter! Whodathunk?!

[Mike Reed]

The questions she asks are typical of those who practice "cold reading"--a fraudulent method of getting their victoms to fill in the blanks durring their purported séances. Don't fall for it. When she asks what "C" means to you, say "Cold Reading"... and then encourage her to take the James Randi challenge:

Enjoy!

[Mike Reed]

...she is being deceived by a lying spirit.

Don't be silly.

[Areabird]

Give it a shot. Some Cold Readers never give up and can go on all day. It especially helps that people tend to really focus on the things they get "right" and forget the dozens of wrong guesses leading up to that point.

...

Cinepro, are you referring to the old woman, or to Joseph Smith?

[sunstoned]

While this particular situation does sound suspect, I do think that keeping an open mind is in order. I believe world of the spiritual is something that we as mortals do not have a complete understanding of. There have been thousands of spiritual type experiences that people have recorded. The Catholic faith has recorded many spiritual manifestations seen and experienced by hundreds. Native Americans have their experiences, as do others. I think it would be short sided to discount an experience of another simple because it does not follow our perception of what a spiritual manifestation/experience should be like.

[Mike Reed]

While this particular situation does sound suspect, I do think that keeping an open mind is in order...

As James Randi explained in the video I linked to, the methods in which "cold readers" employ are the same as those which magicians use to fool their audiences. Having personally been a magician for several years as a young adult, I know that what Randi said is true. There is really no good reason for me to "keep an open mind" about this. It is nonsense.

[mfbukowski]

Sheesh! You guys are no fun at all! Didn't you ever see "Ghost" or "The Sixth Sense?" Okay, they are fiction, but still... If this woman was some kind of a con artist (like I believe many psychics are), she would want money from you. She obviously is not looking for money. She's either a little wacky, a little deceived, or she has a unique gift. If she persists, I would listen to her and answer her questions. You can choose to believe or disbelieve her, but just don't give her any money!

Nah, she's an ego tripper! She gets off on being everyone's confidant. IMO!

[Lamanite]

As James Randi explained in the video I linked to, the methods in which "cold readers" employ are the same as those which magicians use to fool their audiences. Having personally been a magician for several years as a young adult, I know that what Randi said is true. There is really no good reason for me to "keep an open mind" about this. It is nonsense.

Randi video was great

I did a cold reading just to see if I could do it to my daughter and her friend. I of course told them afterward. It went off brilliantly. There were tears, laughter, and squeals. Kind of mean of me but it was classic!

Big UP!

Lamanite

They are 12 and 14 yrs old.

[Mike Reed]

Randi video was great

I did a cold reading just to see if I could do it to my daughter and her friend. I of course told them afterward. It went off brilliantly. There were tears, laughter, and squeals. Kind of mean of me but it was classic!

Big UP!

Lamanite

They are 12 and 14 yrs old.

A couple southpark clips that you may enjoy here and here. (warning, not the most wholesome language) The whole episode is great.

[Olavarria]

Respectfully ignore her.

[Commander]

She's crazy. Simple.

[ERMD]

Either a fraud or nuts.

No other options.