Mission status updates?

[Tacenda]

15 minutes ago, Amulek said:

When I arrived in my mission, I attended my very first transfer meeting. A portion of that meeting consisted of exiting missionaries being given an opportunity to share their testimony.

One of the elders shared a story about how he, at one point earlier in his mission, had packed all of his things into a U-Haul truck and then called the mission president at 2 AM to let him know that he was going to be leaving.

He was thought the MP was going to be upset, or disappointed, or that he would try and talk him into staying.

Instead, our mission president told him simply and sincerely, "It's not a prison elder. I hope you have a wonderful life." [and then just hung up]

That's always kind of stuck with me. While it may not the best answer for every single missionary who's having difficulty, it's certainly a true statement.

The MTC isn't a prison one needs to "escape" from. You are free to leave at any time, for any reason.

 

If my memory serves, he felt like Satan was there, or he was over powered by something. He was afraid to go to his house because he probably thought his family would be so disappointed. I should mention, he was called to his grandfather's former mission in Mexico and so maybe that was difficult with the language training, because he ended up going to Pittsburgh later.  

[Amulek]

2 hours ago, Scott Lloyd said:

Utterly a waste of time?

I wouldn't say it was a complete waste of time, but I certainly felt held back.

Don't get me wrong, I had some positive spiritual experiences while I was there, and I enjoyed getting to know the missionaries in my district.

But the the overwhelming majority of what they spent time teaching was all content I had already mastered. It was probably the longest two weeks of my mission.

 

Quote

Did you learn a language while there? If so, how would you have learned it otherwise? 

Nope. I served an English speaking mission here in the States, so language proficiency was there from day one.

 

Edited May 27, 2021 by Amulek

[secondclasscitizen]

1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

If my memory serves, he felt like Satan was there, or he was over powered by something. He was afraid to go to his house because he probably thought his family would be so disappointed. I should mention, he was called to his grandfather's former mission in Mexico and so maybe that was difficult with the language training, because he ended up going to Pittsburgh later.  

My family would be absolutely humiliated if a kid bailed on his mission. That would be enough for them to change the locks on you for sure. The disappointment aspect is real. 

Edited May 27, 2021 by secondclasscitizen

[Amulek]

53 minutes ago, Scott Lloyd said:

The question occurs to me*: How in the world did he accumulate enough stuff on his mission that he needed a U-Haul to move it? Transfers must have been a real challenge for him! 
 

*Notice I didn’t say, “This begs the question.”

Oh, it probably wasn't a huge one - mostly likely one of the 10' - 15' variety.

That being said, there were multiple missionaries in my mission who had full weight sets and the like.

I was in a fairly affluent mission with a good number of members, so getting things moved around wasn't a major obstacle.

 

[Amulek]

1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

If my memory serves, he felt like Satan was there, or he was over powered by something. He was afraid to go to his house because he probably thought his family would be so disappointed.

No doubt he was so overpowered by darkness and fearful of returning home that the only logical safe-haven would be...his girlfriends house. Obviously.

 

[jkwilliams]

6 minutes ago, Amulek said:

Oh, it probably wasn't a huge one - mostly likely one of the 10' - 15' variety.

That being said, there were multiple missionaries in my mission who had full weight sets and the like.

I was in a fairly affluent mission with a good number of members, so getting things moved around wasn't a major obstacle.

That's completely foreign to me. We mostly lived out of suitcases, and transfers were usually by airplane, so that kind of limited what you could accumulate. 

I feel kind of bad for the missionaries here in our ward. We have 5 at the moment, and we cook them dinner every Wednesday. Last night I asked them if they were getting fed regularly, and they said once or twice a week. 

[Rain]

2 minutes ago, Amulek said:

I wouldn't say it was a complete waste of time, but I certainly felt held back.

Don't get my wrong, I had some positive spiritual experiences while I was there, and I enjoyed getting to know the missionaries in my district.

But the the overwhelming majority of what they spent time teaching was all content I had already mastered. It was probably the longest two weeks of my mission.

 

Nope. I served an English speaking mission here in the States, so language proficiency was there from day one.

 

I was disappointed that there was no new gospel  info. Somewhere I thought that would be had there.  It was quite awhile later that I realized we weren't meant to learn more of the gospel there, but how to teach and teach by the Spirit. We were already supposed to know the gospel.

I know so many people hated the missionary guide, but I loved it.  What I found with it was usually when they didn't like it they were not using it well.  The biggest thing I saw was trying to force commitments, but almost always I found that people were failing to do the work before it - finding and resolving concerns.  

It has been a game changer for me.  It started to teach me to teach the gospel simply.  Not to be boring with it, but to teach it well.  I would have thought that would be easy, but I find many people struggle with it.  

It's funny. There are so many church teachers who would teach so much better if they had really learned what I learned in the MTC about teaching.  The ones that feel they need to give a fantastic presentation and stumble if it looks like they won't get all through their plans.  The ones who get caught up in the info they are sharing over the people to be taught.  All this I learned in the MTC which continued throughout my mission.

I'm not saying you didn't learn those things.  It was just for me I went in thinking I would be learning something entirely different than what was meant to come from it.

[Amulek]

10 minutes ago, secondclasscitizen said:

My family would be absolutely humiliated if a kid bailed on his mission. That would be enough for them to change the locks on you for sure. 

Seriously?

 

[Tacenda]

1 hour ago, Amulek said:

When I arrived in my mission, I attended my very first transfer meeting. A portion of that meeting consisted of exiting missionaries being given an opportunity to share their testimony.

One of the elders shared a story about how he, at one point earlier in his mission, had packed all of his things into a U-Haul truck and then called the mission president at 2 AM to let him know that he was going to be leaving.

He was thought the MP was going to be upset, or disappointed, or that he would try and talk him into staying.

Instead, our mission president told him simply and sincerely, "It's not a prison elder. I hope you have a wonderful life." [and then just hung up]

That's always kind of stuck with me. While it may not the best answer for every single missionary who's having difficulty, it's certainly a true statement.

The MTC isn't a prison one needs to "escape" from. You are free to leave at any time, for any reason.

 

Maybe the MTC felt like a similar type of prison back in the day when they had the strict rules, no calls home or anywhere, not allowed to leave the premises, unless they call it quits or they are told they can such as attending the temple. I didn't serve one, so I may have got the info wrong.   

Edited May 27, 2021 by Tacenda

[jkwilliams]

3 minutes ago, Rain said:

I was disappointed that there was no new gospel  info. Somewhere I thought that would be had there.  It was quite awhile later that I realized we weren't meant to learn more of the gospel there, but how to teach and teach by the Spirit. We were already supposed to know the gospel.

I know so many people hated the missionary guide, but I loved it.  What I found with it was usually when they didn't like it they were not using it well.  The biggest thing I saw was trying to force commitments, but almost always I found that people were failing to do the work before it - finding and resolving concerns.  

It has been a game changer for me.  It started to teach me to teach the gospel simply.  Not to be boring with it, but to teach it well.  I would have thought that would be easy, but I find many people struggle with it.  

It's funny. There are so many church teachers who would teach so much better if they had really learned what I learned in the MTC about teaching.  The ones that feel they need to give a fantastic presentation and stumble if it looks like they won't get all through their plans.  The ones who get caught up in the info they are sharing over the people to be taught.  All this I learned in the MTC which continued throughout my mission.

I'm not saying you didn't learn those things.  It was just for me I went in thinking I would be learning something entirely different than what was meant to come from it.

The MTC was tough for me. I made some good friends there, and I worked hard. But my MTC companion was my most difficult companion by far, and I felt alone and constantly second-guessed myself because of his constant criticism. But I made some good friends there, and I learned a lot. We felt like we had learned a lot of the language in 2 months, but when I arrived in Bolivia, I realized quickly that I didn't know very much at all. The "culture class" was probably the worst aspect of the MTC for me, as the instructor was completely unrealistic about what we should expect in Bolivia. He actually told us that people would come up to us on the street and ask for baptism (lol), and he denied that we might have to live without running water or electricity (lol x 2). 

I just remember feeling exhausted and full of self-doubt when I left the MTC, and I didn't think I could do another 16 months of that. Thankfully, it was much better in country.

[jkwilliams]

6 minutes ago, Amulek said:

Seriously?

I've met a few families like that, unfortunately. 

[Amulek]

27 minutes ago, jkwilliams said:

That's completely foreign to me. We mostly lived out of suitcases, and transfers were usually by airplane, so that kind of limited what you could accumulate.

Most of the missionaries didn't have more stuff than would easily fit into a mini-van / suburban (bike included). But there were more than a handful that went beyond that. Sometimes well beyond that.

 

Quote

I feel kind of bad for the missionaries here in our ward. We have 5 at the moment, and we cook them dinner every Wednesday. Last night I asked them if they were getting fed regularly, and they said once or twice a week. 

Is that intentional? I've heard of some missions where they are only allowed to eat with members once or twice a week.

 

[jkwilliams]

2 minutes ago, Amulek said:

Most of the missionaries didn't have more stuff than would easily fit into a mini-van / suburban (bike included). But there were more than a handful that went beyond that. Sometimes well beyond that.

 

Is that intentional? I've heard of some missions where they are only allowed to eat with members once or twice a week.

 

No, there are sign-ups for every night of every week. They're just not getting fed. Apparently, we're often the only meal they get in a week. 

[bluebell]

2 hours ago, Scott Lloyd said:

The question occurs to me*: How in the world did he accumulate enough stuff on his mission that he needed a U-Haul to move it? Transfers must have been a real challenge for him! 
 

That was my first question too.  How would you need a Uhaul?  You are moving every few weeks or months as it is and wouldn't need a uhaul to do that.

[Scott Lloyd]

35 minutes ago, Amulek said:

Oh, it probably wasn't a huge one - mostly likely one of the 10' - 15' variety.

That being said, there were multiple missionaries in my mission who had full weight sets and the like.

I was in a fairly affluent mission with a good number of members, so getting things moved around wasn't a major obstacle.

 

[Jaw drop] Full weight sets, Gracie?

That strikes me as outrageous. Especially when they’re relying on the generosity of members to move them on transfers. 
 

I just remember my mission when they told us to pack light — and with good reason. I recall barely being able to clamber aboard trains with fully packed suitcase, attaché case and a film strip projector (yes, that was the technology back then). 
 

The need to pack light was the reason we were restricted to three or four titles, besides the scriptures, in our so-called “mission library.” And these guys are lugging around weight sets? But that’s OK. They can contain it all in a 15-foot U-Haul. 😜 I am floored! 
 

What does the Missionary Department say about this?

[jkwilliams]

2 minutes ago, Scott Lloyd said:

[Jaw drop] Full weight sets, Gracie?

That strikes me as outrageous. Especially when they’re relying on the generosity of members to move them on transfers. 
 

I just remember my mission when they told us to pack light — and with good reason. I recall barely being able to clamber aboard trains with fully packed suitcase, attaché case and a film strip projector (yes, that was the technology back then). 
 

The need to pack light was the reason we were restricted to three or four titles, besides the scriptures, in our so-called “mission library.” And these guys are lugging around weight sets? But that’s OK. They can contain it all in a 15-foot U-Haul. 😜 I am floored! 
 

What does the Missionary Department say about this?

Maybe things have changed since we were young.

[Rain]

47 minutes ago, jkwilliams said:

The MTC was tough for me. I made some good friends there, and I worked hard. But my MTC companion was my most difficult companion by far, and I felt alone and constantly second-guessed myself because of his constant criticism. But I made some good friends there, and I learned a lot. We felt like we had learned a lot of the language in 2 months, but when I arrived in Bolivia, I realized quickly that I didn't know very much at all. The "culture class" was probably the worst aspect of the MTC for me, as the instructor was completely unrealistic about what we should expect in Bolivia. He actually told us that people would come up to us on the street and ask for baptism (lol), and he denied that we might have to live without running water or electricity (lol x 2). 

I just remember feeling exhausted and full of self-doubt when I left the MTC, and I didn't think I could do another 16 months of that. Thankfully, it was much better in country.

Culture class - yes that one didn't do anything for me.  

Companions can really make or break you.  My MTC companion refused to go to breakfast with me. As a type 1 diabetic before carb counting that just didn't work for me.  Even now I wouldn't want to skip breakfast every morning.  I didn't care if she didn't eat, but I needed to and couldn't go alone.  Luckily I talked with my branch president and he gave me permission to go alone.

But overall we just didn't connect. It would have been hard to have her criticizing me all the time like happened with you.

[Tacenda]

6 minutes ago, Scott Lloyd said:

[Jaw drop] Full weight sets, Gracie?

That strikes me as outrageous. Especially when they’re relying on the generosity of members to move them on transfers. 
 

I just remember my mission when they told us to pack light — and with good reason. I recall barely being able to clamber aboard trains with fully packed suitcase, attaché case and a film strip projector (yes, that was the technology back then). 
 

The need to pack light was the reason we were restricted to three or four titles, besides the scriptures, in our so-called “mission library.” And these guys are lugging around weight sets? But that’s OK. They can contain it all in a 15-foot U-Haul. 😜 I am floored! 
 

What does the Missionary Department say about this?

Yep, film projectors and Swedish knit suits. My husband served in the Jackson Mississippi mission and the humidity was awful. He would shower with his garments and go to bed with them damp. 

[Rain]

10 minutes ago, bluebell said:

That was my first question too.  How would you need a Uhaul?  You are moving every few weeks or months as it is and wouldn't need a uhaul to do that.

My first companion was in the area 10 months and was going home after she trained me.  She sent home 9 or 10 boxes by mail.  She had been there so long and members loved her so they gave her a lot of stuff besides the things she collected.  

I think there may be a too much stuff thing going on now with covid.  So many patents sending things for missionaries quarantined.  My son's MP a few months back asked everyone to not send so much stuff as it was hard to transport it all.  

[Rain]

7 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

Yep, film projectors and Swedish knit suits. My husband served in the Jackson Mississippi mission and the humidity was awful. He would shower with his garments and go to bed with them damp. 

Why?  I was in Houston where it was hot and humid.  I can't figure out why you would do this.  Seems like it would be more miserable and more likely to cause mildew and mold problems. 

[jkwilliams]

5 minutes ago, Rain said:

Culture class - yes that one didn't do anything for me.  

Companions can really make or break you.  My MTC companion refused to go to breakfast with me. As a type 1 diabetic before carb counting that just didn't work for me.  Even now I wouldn't want to skip breakfast every morning.  I didn't care if she didn't eat, but I needed to and couldn't go alone.  Luckily I talked with my branch president and he gave me permission to go alone.

But overall we just didn't connect. It would have been hard to have her criticizing me all the time like happened with you.

Our first day he insisted that our mission city was pronounced "cokabamba" and that I obviously didn't know my Spanish. It went downhill from there. A few years ago, he contacted me, as he had read my book. He said, "Yes, I was kind of an a-hole in the MTC." We had a good laugh about it. He pretty much left the church as soon as he got home. He stuck out the 2 years because he knew his family would be mortified if he came home early, so he served 2 years, gave his homecoming talk, and then left the next day for Los Angeles and a life outside of Mormonism. 

It's funny where we've all ended up. A couple of guys I got close with are now BYU professors. A few months ago, a guy from our MTC branch Facebook friended me. He told me about his days at BYU teaching at the MTC and going to gay bars in Salt Lake on the weekends, then his later gigs as a go-go dancer at a bar and a drag show, and hanging out with Boy George in the late 80s. Oddly enough, he's not the person I met on my mission with the life least like missionary life that I know.

[jkwilliams]

1 minute ago, Rain said:

Why?  I was in Houston where it was hot and humid.  I can't figure out why you would do this.  Seems like it would be more miserable and more likely to cause mildew and mold problems. 

Yes, it would. We lived in Houston for a number of years, and it reminded me of a slightly less miserable version of the Amazon rainforest, where I spent the last 3 months of my mission. I had a wool suit, so I hung it up in a wardrobe and never used it those 3 months. When I went home, it was covered in mold. Being hot and sticky is bad, but being hot, sticky, and wet sounds awful. 

[Duncan]

Long story short this Elder in our mission won a settlement in a lawsuit. What did he do with the money? he bought 4 bikes and 2 giant amps, I remember seeing him one time loading all that junk into a member's truck, we were all dumbstruck that he had all that plus his all other stuff. I don't know what he did with it all when he flew home to Oklahoma!

[Scott Lloyd]

28 minutes ago, jkwilliams said:

No, there are sign-ups for every night of every week. They're just not getting fed. Apparently, we're often the only meal they get in a week. 

Um, are they incapable of fixing their own food? 

[Tacenda]

4 minutes ago, Rain said:

Why?  I was in Houston where it was hot and humid.  I can't figure out why you would do this.  Seems like it would be more miserable and more likely to cause mildew and mold problems. 

I'll have to ask him.