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LDS and Mental Health


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I have gone through a lot of the LDS YouTube videos looking for information on mental health.  From what I can see the only mental health the church recognizes is depression.  There are no answers about any of the other forms of mental health.  I have grown up with a long laundry list of mental problems, yes depression is one of the minor ones but most of mine are more serious.  I cannot feel.  I have no emotion, no empathy, nothing.  It seems to me in order to "hear" from God or the HG you have to feel what God is telling you.  I get nothing.  I never have since birth.  I have gone to shrinks and been told I have or am::  A Sociopath, a Schizoid, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Asperger, Anti-social Disorder, Persistent depressive disorder, also called Dysthymia, etc.  None of the shrinks seem to be able to really pick what I am or what combination I am.    I feel alone, and I feel that if there is a God, he hates me and wants me dead by suicide.  I feel like God if he exists, has done everything he can to ruin my life.  Anytime I get to enjoy something, God takes it away from me.  Now God is taking away my physical health bit by bit.    I have only experienced real happiness a few times and every time it is taken away.  

Yeah I know I should pray and study the scriptures.  Did it, done it, bought the T-shirt.  I have never had a testimony of the church, because you have to feel it inside.  I was forced to go on a mission by my mother and peer pressure from the church.  How could I convert anyone when I was not converted myself.  Therefore my mission was two years of Hell for me.  At least my mother could portray the long suffering parent of a missionary.  I came back and basically dropped out of the church. 

Anyway, what I am wondering is how bad I am going to get screwed if the whole church thing is real?  God made my life a living hell here on earth, I can imagine the glee he will get when he sends me to hell or (if it is true) one of the two lower prisons.  Contrary to what everyone says, yes the two lower kingdoms are prisons where you are stuck forever with no chance of getting out.  Just another form of hell that God can laugh about as he enjoys watching the tortured the prisoners as they wish they could progress and cannot.

What I need is some sort of hope where there is none.

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35 minutes ago, Gomezaddams 51 said:

I have gone through a lot of the LDS YouTube videos looking for information on mental health.  From what I can see the only mental health the church recognizes is depression.  There are no answers about any of the other forms of mental health.  I have grown up with a long laundry list of mental problems, yes depression is one of the minor ones but most of mine are more serious.  I cannot feel.  I have no emotion, no empathy, nothing.  It seems to me in order to "hear" from God or the HG you have to feel what God is telling you.  I get nothing.  I never have since birth.  I have gone to shrinks and been told I have or am::  A Sociopath, a Schizoid, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Asperger, Anti-social Disorder, Persistent depressive disorder, also called Dysthymia, etc.  None of the shrinks seem to be able to really pick what I am or what combination I am.    I feel alone, and I feel that if there is a God, he hates me and wants me dead by suicide.  I feel like God if he exists, has done everything he can to ruin my life.  Anytime I get to enjoy something, God takes it away from me.  Now God is taking away my physical health bit by bit.    I have only experienced real happiness a few times and every time it is taken away.  

Yeah I know I should pray and study the scriptures.  Did it, done it, bought the T-shirt.  I have never had a testimony of the church, because you have to feel it inside.  I was forced to go on a mission by my mother and peer pressure from the church.  How could I convert anyone when I was not converted myself.  Therefore my mission was two years of Hell for me.  At least my mother could portray the long suffering parent of a missionary.  I came back and basically dropped out of the church. 

 

Anyway, what I am wondering is how bad I am going to get screwed if the whole church thing is real?  God made my life a living hell here on earth, I can imagine the glee he will get when he sends me to hell or (if it is true) one of the two lower prisons.  Contrary to what everyone says, yes the two lower kingdoms are prisons where you are stuck forever with no chance of getting out.  Just another form of hell that God can laugh about as he enjoys watching the tortured the prisoners as they wish they could progress and cannot.

What I need is some sort of hope where there is none.

I think that you'd be happier out of the church for now. There are those people that do better mentally, even on this board. I am inactive and there is some relief mentally. Where every day almost, I felt like I wasn't enough. Still struggle with things, but it's usually over my disillusionment from non belief now, and if I'm going to find out I'm wrong. But after many years of going through this, things are looking better for me. I wasn't a good mormon in the respect of not feeling normal while active, or feeling set apart from my inactive siblings or feeling like I was in a different category than non-mormons or inactives. Not that I was better, just different. So now I'm more comfortable around all people, where before there was a wall. I was a good mormon as far as checking off boxes but really I wasn't a better person. 

If the church is real as far as being the only correct church on earth, God must not want a lot of his children to be up there with him since only about 1 to 2 percent in the world are believing/active mormons.

I think there are many happy members as well. I think life is short, don't let any religion, take your soul. Not that the church is doing that, just that you need to go by your heart. I don't believe in a person named Satan either. I think that is an enormous relief. Someone put that in the scriptures to hold over our heads, of course that's my belief. 

 

Edited by Tacenda
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4 hours ago, Gomezaddams 51 said:

I have gone through a lot of the LDS YouTube videos looking for information on mental health.  From what I can see the only mental health the church recognizes is depression.  There are no answers about any of the other forms of mental health.  I have grown up with a long laundry list of mental problems, yes depression is one of the minor ones but most of mine are more serious.  I cannot feel.  I have no emotion, no empathy, nothing.  It seems to me in order to "hear" from God or the HG you have to feel what God is telling you.  I get nothing.  I never have since birth.  I have gone to shrinks and been told I have or am::  A Sociopath, a Schizoid, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Asperger, Anti-social Disorder, Persistent depressive disorder, also called Dysthymia, etc.  None of the shrinks seem to be able to really pick what I am or what combination I am.    I feel alone, and I feel that if there is a God, he hates me and wants me dead by suicide.  I feel like God if he exists, has done everything he can to ruin my life.  Anytime I get to enjoy something, God takes it away from me.  Now God is taking away my physical health bit by bit.    I have only experienced real happiness a few times and every time it is taken away.  

Yeah I know I should pray and study the scriptures.  Did it, done it, bought the T-shirt.  I have never had a testimony of the church, because you have to feel it inside.  I was forced to go on a mission by my mother and peer pressure from the church.  How could I convert anyone when I was not converted myself.  Therefore my mission was two years of Hell for me.  At least my mother could portray the long suffering parent of a missionary.  I came back and basically dropped out of the church. 

Anyway, what I am wondering is how bad I am going to get screwed if the whole church thing is real?  God made my life a living hell here on earth, I can imagine the glee he will get when he sends me to hell or (if it is true) one of the two lower prisons.  Contrary to what everyone says, yes the two lower kingdoms are prisons where you are stuck forever with no chance of getting out.  Just another form of hell that God can laugh about as he enjoys watching the tortured the prisoners as they wish they could progress and cannot.

What I need is some sort of hope where there is none.

Are you wanting practical advice here, or just being angry?

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I really doubt the sociopathy. You also claim to have no emotion but you are clearly angry and upset. I have met a true emotionally detached psychopath. He was strange. He could read people easily and lived most of his young life figuring everyone else was faking emotions the way he was. He only felt emotion in incredibly extreme situations or on copious amounts of drugs.

You also seem to have a lust for suffering in a martyr kind of way. You doubt the truthfulness of it all but somehow know enough to dogmatically assert the nature of two of the kingdoms of glory and to comment on God’s delight in your suffering.

You are unlikely to be screwed if it is all real. The maladies you cope with are physical. What will persist when you die? That is the best way to deal with it.

Good luck.

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5 hours ago, Gomezaddams 51 said:

Anyway, what I am wondering is how bad I am going to get screwed if the whole church thing is real?  God made my life a living hell here on earth, I can imagine the glee he will get when he sends me to hell or (if it is true) one of the two lower prison

There is no reason you should feel bad about not being able to have a testimony because you cannot feel the Spirit. My daughter is in a similar situation in that regard (though not the rest) in that she has diabetes, sleep disorder, lost her thyroid, severe anxiety and depression.  If she has an experience with the Spirit, she has no way to recognize it given she knows how significantly her emotions and thoughts are affected by blood sugars and hormones and neurotransmitters. She doesn’t trust her emotions or thoughts when things are out of whack, so how when it comes right down to it can she testify this internal experience that no one else can doublecheck for her is Real?
 

I have myself gone several years unable to feel the Spirit due to medication. It felt like there was this actual black denseness in part of my brain that cut off my ability to experience joy (not great at the best of times) and despair (didn’t miss that) and human connection, maybe empathy.  Took out the highs and lows and left me with middle of the road blah, but I could function. 
 

Since I had strong experiences with the Spirit prior to this, I believe I learn to see it communicating with me in the actions of others...but I also realize that may be just have been me filling in gaps with a combo of coincidences and wishful thinking.  When I went off the medication, all that was missing came back within a few days...which confirmed to me it was all there even if I couldn’t connect with it. 
 

When someone can’t feel the Spirit through no fault of their own and they are surrounded by people who are telling wonderful experiences plus promising that if someone is sincere, they will be able to receive similar blessings...hardly surprising if the person rejects the whole thing out of self defense/preservation or feels they are being screwed with by a petty, even malicious God who sees humans more as playthings than his children. 
 

In my opinion the Church as a whole has really messed up in treating the Spirit as a guaranteed experience no matter what if we just do what is necessary when we recognize with most other things God isn’t asking people to do more than what he has given them the capability to do. Why wouldn’t the same rules apply to experiencing the Spirit?
 

If you look at actual scripture about how God judges people, he never expects more than they are capable of giving to him. Even the story of the Flood which can look rather malicious is at its foundation about God recognizing that our cultures can put such significant limits on our growth, on our agency, that it invalidates the benefits of the mortal experience. Thus that culture that was dooming its people to a stagnant self destructive existence that was not moving them forward and would make it even harder to progress after death needed to be removed and those capable of still changing were able to start anew. 
 

If you can, I think it would be helpful to put aside what you have been assuming about God based on how others have told you it works and start thinking about what a truly loving, highly intelligent and infinitely capable parent would be willing to do for his children so they could ultimately grow up into the kind of wonderful people they want to be. This is a God that respects us as well as loves us and not a monster that gets off on seeing us suffer.

If you can start thinking of God in that way, then go to the scriptures and see if that picture makes sense as well. Don’t assume that how you and others have been interpreting the scriptures is how God wants you to interpret them. Church leaders can get it wrong at times because their cultures they grew up in, family and greater environments, have limited their ability in ways to hear the fullness of the Spirit.
 

Humans aren’t even capable at the best of time on their own of that full connection to receive pure intelligence from the Lord...except at times we can receive the Spirit in special ways and even then the visions or revelation moment has to eventually stop and we lose much of the capacity to understand what we just went through and we then struggle to get that godly interaction in words that make sense of the experience to others. But words only can tell part of the story and that part not too well, so even scriptures are stumbling, weak attempts to share the divine. 
 

I believe God allows this weakness in understanding and capabilities in mortality to drive us to seek him, but the very nature of mortal existence means the ability for some to communicate will be much, much lower than others. But if God has set mortality up that way, it must be okay for us to experience life in such a variety of ways with each of us having different strengths and weaknesses. 
 

The Atonement at its core  is we do what we can do and we ask God for the rest and are willing to receive it when it is time and that is all God asks us to do because that allows him to give us eventually everything else.  Not in this life and not immediately after death, but after a further time of growth and preparation after death. 
 

So we don’t need to have the complete picture now, all worked out in order to look forward to eternal life rather than the lesser heavenly levels. 
 

This is how I have been able to make sense of my own experiences, what I see others going through and what I believe I have received through the scriptures and doctrine of the Church.  I don’t expect anyone else to assume I have it right. I am only posting this to show it is okay to go figure out how it all makes sense to you. 
 

If I am wrong I am probably doomed to the lower kingdoms along with most everyone else from what I see others going through, but honestly I don’t see what I could do to change that enough if I am that wrong...so it makes sense to me to live a life of hope that not only promises a better life for me in the future, but gives me permission to live a life that has hope in it now as well, hope for change, hope for blessings, hope for peace. 
 

You will need to find your own answer that can give you hope or at least a sense of purpose and meaning.  It probably won’t be easy, but if you accept the possibility you may get it where if you don’t, that kind of locks you in, doesn’t it?

I believe I have had revelation that confirms that God is okay with the way I am approaching my life.  Not perfectly, but since I am not someone who enjoys others’ pain and I want to help others as well as myself, I am doing what I can even on days when I think it is not my best. It is the best I can give to God and myself that day and God isn’t asking me to do more than that, but he is holding the path open so when I can go further, I will. 

Edited by Calm
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5 hours ago, Tacenda said:

think that you'd be happier out of the church for now.

I don’t think so, he just needs to realize not everything he has been told is what God wants him to know. People, even church leaders, get things wrong. Finding the pure Gospel, the parts that reach out to them can be done as a member for most imo. 
 

But if his path takes him out, God has promised he can turn all things to our good, so I don’t see reason to fear that either. 

Edited by Calm
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59 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

Are you wanting practical advice here, or just being angry?

Actually I wish I was really angry...that would be an emotion...  No what I am trying to figure out is, what is waiting for me.  I am using what I have learned to fake over the years to imitate emotion, most of the time I get it right,other times I really blow it.  I learned by reading, watching TV and movies and watching people to mimic what I think are emotions.  When I come across as angry with god, I am stating fact, not emotion.  I fake emotion when I get involved with other people, I have actually had relationships with women, one told me she had thought that her ex husband was the coldest most unemotional SOB that lived ...until she had been with me and after she saw though my act, I made him look warm and caring LOL.  I have learned enough about the church during my early years of being dragged there to understand the concepts and so getting older I logically have started contemplating what is the next step waiting for me.  I say I am angry with god but in reality I feel nothing for or against he/she or it.  As for logic, as I look back on my life, I find that from the time I came out of my mothers womb and rushed straight to an orphanage, the odds have been against me and it seems the odds keep getting worse the longer I live.  If not a possible God, then the Force, or some other super power seems to be working against me so, if the church is true, and what I was taught as a teen is true, what becomes of people who are like me when we die?

Oh and The Nehor:  You can take it up with the various shrinks I have gone to, one did in deed claim I was a sociopath.  Functioning sociopath but still a sociopath.

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5 minutes ago, Calm said:

 

Thanks for the reply Calm.  Who knows perhaps we can get together in our lower prison and play a game of chess sometime.  LOL  I find it hard to believe that this so called "kind wise loving heavenly father" would sentence people to the lower prisons and leave them there with no way out.  But then I am using logic and apparently God does not.

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There are many disciples of Jesus Christ who have trouble with emotional numbing, across lots of named issues (and sometimes just the steady pace of struggles).   And so long as each of us is doing our personal best to live the commandments and quickly repenting of actual sin (and lots of us need help with healthy thinking skills that cognitive behavior therapy can give to making sure we distinguish the two and the impacts and do not accept unearned guilt) is ALWAYS enough for our Heavenly Parents and our Savior, and completely closes the gap between our personal best and objective perfection.   You will not be denied any blessing of God because of the weaknesses of your body, or awful situations (even most that resulted from our own mistakes) so long as we consistently work to do our personal best.  

You are and always will be a beloved child of Heavenly Parents who know you intimately by name for your entire existence.    They haven't set you up for failure.  They simply invite you to live your discipleship as fully as your circumstances allow.    The labels used to describe you are just that, mortal labels, and cannot touch your divine nature.   The Atonement is enough to close the gap, however large or small the objective gap is.

(And for me, service to others, nature and uplifting music are the ways I most "hear" God, especially when my brain isn't working well.)

ETA:  There isn't any such thing as "lower prison".   Every place is far better, more beautiful and more peaceful places of glory, far beyond what is known on earth.   (Excepting outer darkness, the nature of which we know less, but we do know that the requirements to get there limit the number to very few, and all of whom have rejected Christ, having perfectly known Him and having chosen to reject their testimony of Him.   I can think  of no more than a handful of even possible eligibility.)

Edited by rpn
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7 minutes ago, Gomezaddams 51 said:

Thanks for the reply Calm.  Who knows perhaps we can get together in our lower prison and play a game of chess sometime.  LOL  I find it hard to believe that this so called "kind wise loving heavenly father" would sentence people to the lower prisons and leave them there with no way out.  But then I am using logic and apparently God does not.

There was some typos and incomplete thoughts, so if something didn’t make sense you might want to check the edited version. :) 

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3 minutes ago, Calm said:

But then I am using logic and apparently God does not.

No, God is infinitely logical. 
 

What people say about God is not. If it doesn’t seem logical, maybe you should question if it is truth?

But you should also question “is it my understanding of the scriptures or doctrine or the doctrine that is the problem?”. 
 

Don’t assume you have it any more right than anyone else.  It is rather liberating when you accept it is okay for everyone to be wrong at least about something. 

Edited by Calm
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23 hours ago, Gomezaddams 51 said:

Actually I wish I was really angry...that would be an emotion...  No what I am trying to figure out is, what is waiting for me.  I am using what I have learned to fake over the years to imitate emotion, most of the time I get it right,other times I really blow it.  I learned by reading, watching TV and movies and watching people to mimic what I think are emotions.  When I come across as angry with god, I am stating fact, not emotion.  I fake emotion when I get involved with other people, I have actually had relationships with women, one told me she had thought that her ex husband was the coldest most unemotional SOB that lived ...until she had been with me and after she saw though my act, I made him look warm and caring LOL.  I have learned enough about the church during my early years of being dragged there to understand the concepts and so getting older I logically have started contemplating what is the next step waiting for me.  I say I am angry with god but in reality I feel nothing for or against he/she or it.  As for logic, as I look back on my life, I find that from the time I came out of my mothers womb and rushed straight to an orphanage, the odds have been against me and it seems the odds keep getting worse the longer I live.  If not a possible God, then the Force, or some other super power seems to be working against me so, if the church is true, and what I was taught as a teen is true, what becomes of people who are like me when we die?

Oh and The Nehor:  You can take it up with the various shrinks I have gone to, one did in deed claim I was a sociopath.  Functioning sociopath but still a sociopath.

Well, you might be one if you are faking emotion. I would say why bother though? Why be angry at God if it is playacting? I am not sure if I buy it though. You talk about having happiness ripped away. That kind of gripe is incompatible with everyone I have known that is far along on the psychopath/sociopath spectrum. Generally you can’t threaten them at all, even with something like hell.

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On 11/8/2020 at 1:18 PM, Gomezaddams 51 said:

God made my life a living hell here on earth, I can imagine the glee he will get when he sends me to hell or (if it is true) one of the two lower prisons

Well, first of all, the LDS interpretation of God (a loving Heavenly Father) would never feel happy about sending people to hell. 

On 11/8/2020 at 1:18 PM, Gomezaddams 51 said:

I have only experienced real happiness a few times and every time it is taken away.  

This is intriguing. What were the circumstances of these happy times? Why were they taken away? If these were times when other people were not being hurt, maybe this is the secret to your future happiness?  My oldest son was extremely unhappy as a teenager inside the church. He's much happier as an adult living his life as an atheist. He is on the spectrum and perhaps his unhappiness was similar to your own in not being physically capable having nuanced spiritual experiences while other people around him were. That would be very upsetting to many people-not really feeling a sense of belonging.

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On 11/8/2020 at 6:04 PM, rpn said:

 

ETA:  There isn't any such thing as "lower prison".   Every place is far better, more beautiful and more peaceful places of glory, far beyond what is known on earth.   (Excepting outer darkness, the nature of which we know less, but we do know that the requirements to get there limit the number to very few, and all of whom have rejected Christ, having perfectly known Him and having chosen to reject their testimony of Him.   I can think  of no more than a handful of even possible eligibility.)

The two "lower kingdoms" may be the most beautiful paradise that ever existed anywhere, but if you are stuck there forever with no chance to progress then yes it is a prison.  Those there are the castaways, with no hope for the future because they have no future.

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On 11/10/2020 at 8:06 AM, katherine the great said:

Well, first of all, the LDS interpretation of God (a loving Heavenly Father) would never feel happy about sending people to hell. 

This is intriguing. What were the circumstances of these happy times? Why were they taken away? If these were times when other people were not being hurt, maybe this is the secret to your future happiness?  My oldest son was extremely unhappy as a teenager inside the church. He's much happier as an adult living his life as an atheist. He is on the spectrum and perhaps his unhappiness was similar to your own in not being physically capable having nuanced spiritual experiences while other people around him were. That would be very upsetting to many people-not really feeling a sense of belonging.

Well once again I use the term "happiness" as a term I have learned to fake.  For me the "happiness" was not being bothered by people.  I did what I wanted when I wanted.  What caused this "happiness is I bought a Harley and basically became a biker bum.  It is amazing how cute young girls love bikers.  I lost track of the number rides on my bike ...and I got from Harley Honey' s.  I put an average of 20K miles a year on my bike and then once again my bad luck streak or perhaps god struck.  Something went wrong with the transmission.  I ask around and every biker I talked to told me to take it to a certain mechanic who had been working on bikes for almost 15 years.  I took the bike to him, and he closed his shop the next week.  I went through hell getting my bike back, in milk crates.  And I am not sure I got it all back.  Why am I the one in 15 years to be screwed over?  Another example, not long after I joined the Air Force when I was 23, I met a cute little super sexy 16 year old, she was a member of the church.  We got married when she was 17 and, no I didn't love her, I was comfortable with her and I figured we would probably be together for a long while.  And then my bad luck struck.  After our first child she gained 100 pounds and after the second, another 100.  I tried, even though I didn't love her as I said, And she revolted me, I stuck it out, mostly because I was to lazy to dump fer fat ***.  I finally dumped her and that was when I got the Harley.  There quite a few other things that started out OK but went bad.

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11 minutes ago, Gomezaddams 51 said:

Well once again I use the term "happiness" as a term I have learned to fake.  For me the "happiness" was not being bothered by people.  I did what I wanted when I wanted.  What caused this "happiness is I bought a Harley and basically became a biker bum.  It is amazing how cute young girls love bikers.  I lost track of the number rides on my bike ...and I got from Harley Honey' s.  I put an average of 20K miles a year on my bike and then once again my bad luck streak or perhaps god struck.  Something went wrong with the transmission.  I ask around and every biker I talked to told me to take it to a certain mechanic who had been working on bikes for almost 15 years.  I took the bike to him, and he closed his shop the next week.  I went through hell getting my bike back, in milk crates.  And I am not sure I got it all back.  Why am I the one in 15 years to be screwed over?  Another example, not long after I joined the Air Force when I was 23, I met a cute little super sexy 16 year old, she was a member of the church.  We got married when she was 17 and, no I didn't love her, I was comfortable with her and I figured we would probably be together for a long while.  And then my bad luck struck.  After our first child she gained 100 pounds and after the second, another 100.  I tried, even though I didn't love her as I said, And she revolted me, I stuck it out, mostly because I was to lazy to dump fer fat ***.  I finally dumped her and that was when I got the Harley.  There quite a few other things that started out OK but went bad.

Have you considered that it's not bad luck but that you make dumb/selfish choices? 

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I had to take a short break, back again, another "happiness" is sex.  As I said my Harley was  "P" magnet and I had fun.  After the bike I went through a few women but as I get older it has become harder to get the younger women and I ended up stuck with older women.  The bad part they are mostly old, wrinkled and not that good looking and a lot of them are fat.  Plus even worse, most are stuck in the 60's and early 70's.  Back when I was 42 I hooked up with a 19 year old bi-sexual witch, (yeah spell caster, read the tarot witch) and she got me into the goth scene and into the 1990's with my music.  Ain't any of the women my age gonna even think about my likes.  Plus most are definitely not into the more kinky stuff sex wise.  Stick in the mud is the best description.

Any way when I hit 55 I started trolling the dating websites.  I found a woman that wasn't to revolting, she had a moderately nice figure, and we struck up a relationship.  Eventually like my first wife she said she loved me so we moved in together.  And later got married.  Sex was good until I started having health problems (thanks god) and I ended up with ED which removed sex from my life.  She claims she doesn't miss sex, she told me she started having sex when she was 14 and by 18 had over 50 different partners and by 55 had almost 200.  So she says she is tired of it.  Still pisses me off.  Another "happiness" lost to me.  God really sucks.

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40 minutes ago, bluebell said:

Have you considered that it's not bad luck but that you make dumb/selfish choices? 

Well don't think taking my bike to a mechanic everyone recommends and has been open for 15 years as a mistake.  Plus how was I to know my first wife was going to get fat.  My bad luck started at birth when I was immediately rushed off to an orphanage.  I don't have to tell you how bad 1950's orphanage' s were.   

Edited by Gomezaddams 51
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15 minutes ago, Gomezaddams 51 said:

Well don't think taking my bike to a mechanic everyone recommends and has been open for 15 years as a mistake.  Plus how was I to know my first wife was going to get fat.  My bad luck started at birth when I was immediately rushed off to an orphanage.  I don't have to tell you how bad 1950's orphanage' s were.   

I was referring to your perceptions of events, which seems to be pretty self centered.  Things like thinking your wife getting fat is your bad luck. And you going after an underage girl and marrying her despite not loving her. 

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On 11/8/2020 at 12:18 PM, Gomezaddams 51 said:

I have gone through a lot of the LDS YouTube videos looking for information on mental health.  From what I can see the only mental health the church recognizes is depression.  There are no answers about any of the other forms of mental health.  I have grown up with a long laundry list of mental problems, yes depression is one of the minor ones but most of mine are more serious.  I cannot feel.  I have no emotion, no empathy, nothing.  It seems to me in order to "hear" from God or the HG you have to feel what God is telling you.  I get nothing.  I never have since birth.  I have gone to shrinks and been told I have or am::  A Sociopath, a Schizoid, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Asperger, Anti-social Disorder, Persistent depressive disorder, also called Dysthymia, etc.  None of the shrinks seem to be able to really pick what I am or what combination I am.    I feel alone, and I feel that if there is a God, he hates me and wants me dead by suicide.  I feel like God if he exists, has done everything he can to ruin my life.  Anytime I get to enjoy something, God takes it away from me.  Now God is taking away my physical health bit by bit.    I have only experienced real happiness a few times and every time it is taken away.  

 

Hello Gomez...

I have read this whole thread and all of your supposed God-caused problems and experiences... Some people like Calm and Bluebell have tried to be empathetic and helpful... I, on the other hand, do not feel I should expound on what I feel... it would shock or surprise my numerous friends here who know me and my gentle heart based on my posts/replies and the numerous years I've participated here... but I've never had a post such as your opening arouse in me such anger, exasperation, dismay, etc as I read, based on your absolute ignorance of the nature of God, of his love for his children (you, and me), or of the blessings and comfort He wants us to feel as we sojourn this life, and thus the reason He sent the Holy Ghost as the Comforter... You are apparently filled with such anger and hate (yes, feelings) that you have become past feeling... (Moroni 9:20).

from the beach on a rainy afternoon... GG 

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2 hours ago, Gomezaddams 51 said:

had to take a short break, back again, another "happiness" is sex....

Sounds to me you need to talk to someone else besides the board. While the mods don’t mind the use of the board for emotional and moral support, anything more complicated gets locked as too personal.  Just an FYI as what will likely happen when they do a checkin. Imo, you need to talk to professionals or those experienced in your issues, not a bunch of strangers who have very limited experience and don’t understand the way you process thoughts, etc in a way they can have effective conversations with you. 

Edited by Calm
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