Exaggeration & Honesty

[strappinglad]

If I've told you once  I've told you a million times, stop exaggerating !

Back in the olden days it was said that newspapers and politicians would pay attention to letters to the editor because they knew that if a few letters were received on a topic, it was very likely that many more people were concerned about that topic but didn't bother to write. Maybe in the OP case the aunt heard the complaint from grandma and, knowing there were quite a few other older folks in the room that probably were irritated also but didn't speak up, made the leap to " lots of people" were complaining. Either that , or she felt one complaint would not carry sufficient weight with the DJ .

[pogi]

I think the determining factor is if the statement is intended to be taken seriously or not.  If a person intends an exaggeration to be taken seriously, then he is lying, even in the lightest shades of white.  If, on the other hand, an exaggeration is overtly not intended to be taken seriously, then I think it is innocent.  The problem is that some people have a real hard time telling the difference.  I come from a family which uses a lot of sarcasm and hyperbole to accentuate a comedic point, but my wife comes from a much more serious family.  I can't tell you how many times I have gotten into trouble for my sarcasm, where she took me seriously when she was not supposed to. What seems like obvious hyperbole in my mind, rarely is in her's.  I have learned that if I want to survive in my marriage, I have to learn to express my humor and observations in different ways.   Some people seem incapable of sensing the difference.  That is why a certain President of the United States would do good to watch his tongue...  

Edited August 13, 2018 by pogi

[SouthernMo]

27 minutes ago, pogi said:

I think the determining factor is if the statement is intended to be taken seriously or not.  If a person intends an exaggeration to be taken seriously, then he is lying, even in the lightest shades of white.  If, on the other hand, an exaggeration is overtly not intended to be taken seriously, then I think it is innocent.  The problem is that some people have a real hard time telling the difference.  I come from a family which uses a lot of sarcasm and hyperbole to accentuate a comedic point, but my wife comes from a much more serious family.  I can't tell you how many times I have gotten into trouble for my sarcasm, where she took me seriously when she was not supposed to. What seems like obvious hyperbole in my mind, rarely is in her's.  I have learned that if I want to survive in my marriage, I have to learn to express my humor and observations in different ways.   Some people seem incapable of sensing the difference.  That is why a certain President of the United States would do good to watch his tongue...  

There is truth to this.  Communication can sometimes be more fun, more exciting, and convey more emotion and meaning in certain scenarios.

Not to rehash an old issue, but when an apostle doesn’t speak accurately about how quickly the church is growing, are we to take him at his word, or assume he is exaggerating?  Maybe he’s trying to emotionally appeal to an audience and convey that LDS church membership is more healthy than thought.

However, if we then start to assume that a messenger sometimes exaggerates, that will inevitably diminish his ability to be taken literally, when he might mean it.

I agree that for many, communicating with exaggeration is normal, and is not a lie, and does little if any harm.

But, being precise with words is the safer basis of communication by lessening the likelihood of immediate and future misunderstandings.

[cinepro]

21 hours ago, Thinking said:

This happened at a wedding I attended recently.

During the dinner the DJ was playing background music (Frank Sinatra, Harry Connick Jr., Michael Buble...). My wife's grandmother thought the music was too loud and sent her daughter to ask the DJ to turn the volume down. Her daughter told the DJ that a lot of people were complaining about how loud the music was and asked him to turn it down.

Does the daughter's exaggeration about the number of people who were complaining rise to the level of dishonesty?

What do you think about exaggeration as it relates to honesty?

Did someone ask for a wedding DJ story?

So I DJ weddings (and LDS youth dances) as a hobby.  Last Saturday, I was DJ'ing for a non-LDS reception at the local Best Western.  Long story short, the bride and groom were drunk at the end of the evening, and they decided to open their presents as I packed up and the banquet staff took down the tables.  The bride got mad at the groom's sister, and drunkenly yelled at the groom.  The groom responded in kind.  After 10 minutes of yelling and screaming and all manner of profanity (mostly out in the parking lot), the bride disappeared and the groom wandered around aimlessly.  About 30 minutes later, I was about a mile up the road and almost to the freeway on my way home and I saw the bride walking along the side of the road!

The banquet coordinator looked at me as they were yelling out in the parking lot and said "I've been married 30 years and never had a fight like that..."

When I got home, I remote-deposited the check as fast as I could.

 

And while I can't speak to the story in the OP, I can just say that there is nothing I hate more than having a clueless wedding planner ask me to put my speakers up on the outside of the room so there are tables between the speakers and the dance floor, and then people sitting at those tables getting mad when the dancing starts and the music gets loud.

Edited August 14, 2018 by cinepro

[The Nehor]

12 hours ago, SouthernMo said:

One of my least-favorite words I sometimes hear is "over-exaggerate."  While thankfully not yet in any dictionary I know of, the idea that the term exists in some lexicons indicates that we have come to terms with a 'normal' level of exaggeration, but do not accept 'over-exaggeration.'

I tend to lean towards the camp that believes that any exaggeration or hyperbole is not helpful.  In the short-term, the tactic can produce some results, but it's frequent use diminishes the credibility of the exaggerator.

I want to be someone who says what they mean, and means what they say.

While I respect the sentiment “irregardless” is much worse.

[The Nehor]

3 hours ago, pogi said:

I think the determining factor is if the statement is intended to be taken seriously or not.  If a person intends an exaggeration to be taken seriously, then he is lying, even in the lightest shades of white.  If, on the other hand, an exaggeration is overtly not intended to be taken seriously, then I think it is innocent.  The problem is that some people have a real hard time telling the difference.  I come from a family which uses a lot of sarcasm and hyperbole to accentuate a comedic point, but my wife comes from a much more serious family.  I can't tell you how many times I have gotten into trouble for my sarcasm, where she took me seriously when she was not supposed to. What seems like obvious hyperbole in my mind, rarely is in her's.  I have learned that if I want to survive in my marriage, I have to learn to express my humor and observations in different ways.   Some people seem incapable of sensing the difference.  That is why a certain President of the United States would do good to watch his tongue...  

I think you flatter our President too much by suggesting his blatant falsehoods (not exaggerations) are intended for comedic effect or are intended as hyperbole.

[Thinking]

11 hours ago, CV75 said:

We don't have all the facts and cannot say whether the daughter was exaggerating in the first place. But if only one person complained to her, and spoke only for herself, and she said a lot complained, then yes that would be an exaggeration and dishonest in my opinion. If she interpreted the one person's statement as representation or passing along what a lot of others perceived as well, it that would not be an exaggeration or dishonest.  If she heard the same complaint from others and that was the last straw, then that would not be an exaggeration or dishonest. If the message got garbled along the way (the telephone game), or she assumed or sincerely believed others were complaining as well (for whatever reasons) she may have simply misspoken from a factual or intentional standpoint, which may (or may not) result in an exaggeration of content but is not dishonest in nature.

I was there, but I guess it's possible that I am exaggerating.

In this case the exaggeration was used to achieve an outcome (lower volume) that might not be what others want. It's possible that most everybody else thought the volume level was appropriate. Would those people approach the DJ and tell him the volume level is perfect and to just leave it there? Cinepro?

 

Edited August 14, 2018 by Thinking

[Calm]

Quote

When I got home, I remote-deposited the check as fast as I could.

Wisdom....

Hope she had a pocket in her wedding dress (assuming she still wore it) and it had her phone.  No matter how drunk she was, bet the heels would be hurting soon.

Edited August 14, 2018 by Calm

[katherine the great]

On 8/12/2018 at 9:14 PM, Thinking said:

Does the daughter's exaggeration about the number of people who were complaining rise to the level of dishonesty?

No. Not any more than my husband telling me that I'm the most amazing woman in the world. Obviously I'm not, but I sure like hearing it. The lady wanted her mom to be comfortable but probably wanted to make a strong case for the DJ to turn the music down (and loud music is not good for some people's eardrums). It was an act of love.

[CV75]

9 hours ago, Thinking said:

I was there, but I guess it's possible that I am exaggerating.

In this case the exaggeration was used to achieve an outcome (lower volume) that might not be what others want. It's possible that most everybody else thought the volume level was appropriate. Would those people approach the DJ and tell him the volume level is perfect and to just leave it there? Cinepro?

I don't know what the other people would have done, but a fracas over it would have been quite entertaining!

Whoever paid the DJ could have told him to adjust the volume without resorting to exaggeration. I'm wondering why they didn't take this option.

[cinepro]

On 8/12/2018 at 8:14 PM, Thinking said:

This happened at a wedding I attended recently.

During the dinner the DJ was playing background music (Frank Sinatra, Harry Connick Jr., Michael Buble...). My wife's grandmother thought the music was too loud and sent her daughter to ask the DJ to turn the volume down. Her daughter told the DJ that a lot of people were complaining about how loud the music was and asked him to turn it down. 

Does the daughter's exaggeration about the number of people who were complaining rise to the level of dishonesty?

 

I'll also point out that if the daughter was smart, she would have said the bride thinks the music is too loud. 

 

[Atheist Mormon]

On 8/12/2018 at 10:14 PM, Thinking said:

 

What do you think about exaggeration as it relates to honesty?

We do it all the time.....

[mnn727]

Background music should be able to be easily ignored, anything louder is not background music.

Edited August 14, 2018 by mnn727