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Tip from Arrington on How to Become a Stake President


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Posted
28 minutes ago, stemelbow said:

Some seem to even be concerned that those who seek callings in the way you describe do so because they love themselves that much--want that kind of fame and status.  

I think everyone agrees that "gunning" for callings is off-putting and obnoxious. And pretty obvious, too. 

We had a new family move in, and she immediately called my young women's president and told her she really, really wanted to be one of her counselors. There wasn't a position open, but a big red flag for me is asking for specific callings. In this case, it was even worse, because she didn't even ask the bishopric. 

This sister has only been to church three times in four months. She even dropped off her daughter and left, not staying to watch her give her first talk in church (brand new beehive). It boggles my mind that people like that think to themselves that they would like to be in a presidency, that they would do a good job as XYZ, etc. 

Posted
Just now, rongo said:

I think everyone agrees that "gunning" for callings is off-putting and obnoxious. And pretty obvious, too. 

We had a new family move in, and she immediately called my young women's president and told her she really, really wanted to be one of her counselors. There wasn't a position open, but a big red flag for me is asking for specific callings. In this case, it was even worse, because she didn't even ask the bishopric. 

This sister has only been to church three times in four months. She even dropped off her daughter and left, not staying to watch her give her first talk in church (brand new beehive). It boggles my mind that people like that think to themselves that they would like to be in a presidency, that they would do a good job as XYZ, etc. 

I can't imagine wanting a particular calling. There are few callings, if any, in which some kind of "glory" outweighs the work that has to be put into it. You'd have to be a lunatic to campaign to be a bishop or a mission president, for example, as those are high-stress jobs that engender at least as much criticism as praise. 

Posted
1 minute ago, rongo said:

I think everyone agrees that "gunning" for callings is off-putting and obnoxious. And pretty obvious, too. 

We had a new family move in, and she immediately called my young women's president and told her she really, really wanted to be one of her counselors. There wasn't a position open, but a big red flag for me is asking for specific callings. In this case, it was even worse, because she didn't even ask the bishopric. 

This sister has only been to church three times in four months. She even dropped off her daughter and left, not staying to watch her give her first talk in church (brand new beehive). It boggles my mind that people like that think to themselves that they would like to be in a presidency, that they would do a good job as XYZ, etc. 

A few years ago I was in the YM presidency.  It was enjoyable.  A new guy moved in with his mom.  He was older and had recently been divorced, trying to recover he moved in with his mom into our ward.  He quickly had a meeting with the bishop and told him, "I need to be the YM president.  and I'm really good at that calling".  My son was just turning 12 about this time.  But he was so called the next week and he called me, without knowing anyone else to remain a counselor.  I did.  But it was kind of a disaster with him as President.  he had no interest when it came down to it and he didn't really try to get to know the boys.  But he remained in the calling for a good five years, even after I had a chat with the bishop about it a few times.  Anyways, I always felt a little disappointed that he gave a sad story and solicited for a high demand, high involved calling, all to the detriment of not only my kid but others. 

Posted
Just now, stemelbow said:

A few years ago I was in the YM presidency.  It was enjoyable.  A new guy moved in with his mom.  He was older and had recently been divorced, trying to recover he moved in with his mom into our ward.  He quickly had a meeting with the bishop and told him, "I need to be the YM president.  and I'm really good at that calling".  My son was just turning 12 about this time.  But he was so called the next week and he called me, without knowing anyone else to remain a counselor.  I did.  But it was kind of a disaster with him as President.  he had no interest when it came down to it and he didn't really try to get to know the boys.  But he remained in the calling for a good five years, even after I had a chat with the bishop about it a few times.  Anyways, I always felt a little disappointed that he gave a sad story and solicited for a high demand, high involved calling, all to the detriment of not only my kid but others. 

The best YM president I ever served with was a guy who confided in me that he really wasn't comfortable in the calling and that he really disliked outdoor activities like campaigning and hiking. But he put everything he had into that calling and was great at it. You never would have guessed that he would have preferred doing something else.

Posted
11 minutes ago, ALarson said:

Yup!  That has helped 

(You've got a great memory!  I don't remember what I posted yesterday....ha ha :) )

.

It's a matter of cognitive association.

At the time I wrote that post, I was taking a break from doing yard work in preparation for having people over for a Swedish smörgåsbord to send our son off on his mission. I'll always remember that occasion and, hence, am more apt to remember making the post.

Posted
2 minutes ago, Scott Lloyd said:

It's a matter of cognitive association.

At the time I wrote that post, I was taking a break from doing yard work in preparation for having people over for a Swedish smörgåsbord to send our son off on his mission. I'll always remember that occasion and, hence, am more apt to remember making the post.

There is a noun form of "affect," but it's used in psychology and rarely elsewhere. 

Posted
4 minutes ago, rongo said:

My parents are serving in Poland right now. The new mission president is only 39, with four little kids (he's Polish, which is h-u-g-e --- the members are so excited!). According to my parents, he is amazing and will do a lot of good. He has his work cut out for him, though. There are some influential apostates who were reinstated after disfellowshipment (for apostasy) who continue to try to destroy the church (they are bitter that they are not the ones in leadership). Because of their high rankings in the Communist party (and current status in trying to bring it back), branch and district presidents and the former American mission president were afraid to cross them or re-discipline. My parents are very encouraged by the new couple --- the head apostate called him during his first week and gave him his list of what needs to be done in the mission. My dad said, "Comrade --------- is not going to get anywhere with him!" But, it's going to be painful and difficult, and people are going to be scared over the threats and saber rattling. 

High-stress doesn't even begin to cover it. 

Wow.  Sometimes you forget about the complexities people have to live with. 

Posted
9 minutes ago, jkwilliams said:

There is a noun form of "affect," but it's used in psychology and rarely elsewhere. 

There is also a verb form of effect. It means to bring about, as in to effect a change.

But that's not used very often either.

 

Posted (edited)
15 minutes ago, rongo said:

My parents are serving in Poland right now. The new mission president is only 39, with four little kids (he's Polish, which is h-u-g-e --- the members are so excited!). According to my parents, he is amazing and will do a lot of good. He has his work cut out for him, though. There are some influential apostates who were reinstated after disfellowshipment (for apostasy) who continue to try to destroy the church (they are bitter that they are not the ones in leadership). Because of their high rankings in the Communist party (and current status in trying to bring it back), branch and district presidents and the former American mission president were afraid to cross them or re-discipline. My parents are very encouraged by the new couple --- the head apostate called him during his first week and gave him his list of what needs to be done in the mission. My dad said, "Comrade --------- is not going to get anywhere with him!" But, it's going to be painful and difficult, and people are going to be scared over the threats and saber rattling. 

High-stress doesn't even begin to cover it. 

My first mission president was Argentine, and Argentines tend to treat Bolivians like a lot of people in the US treat Mexicans and Central Americans: as ignorant and inferior. I saw an Argentine film in which the wife said to her husband, "Why don't you ever take me on your business trips with you? I would go anywhere, even Bolivia." He didn't do that, but he also didn't quite realize that most Bolivians expect that and have a bit of a chip on their shoulders with Argentines. So, I heard a lot of Bolivians say he was aloof and arrogant, not because he really was but because that's the perception of Argentines. 

The other problems we had were due to his having been ill and pretty much burned out. We had the "castigo" (punishment) areas where he would send missionaries who got into trouble. These were basically small branches out in the middle of nowhere with no phone. He destroyed a lot of branches that way. And for about the last year of his mission, he had basically handed over the mission to his APs. They made all the assignments, and not coincidentally, the assignments went to their friends. So, we had a lot of district and zone leaders who were, to put it mildly, not suited for the job. As one of my companions remarked of a zone leader, "He's not a good missionary. Heck, he's not even a good Mormon!"

Edited by jkwilliams
Posted
10 minutes ago, stemelbow said:

A few years ago I was in the YM presidency.  It was enjoyable.  A new guy moved in with his mom.  He was older and had recently been divorced, trying to recover he moved in with his mom into our ward.  He quickly had a meeting with the bishop and told him, "I need to be the YM president.  and I'm really good at that calling".  My son was just turning 12 about this time.  But he was so called the next week and he called me, without knowing anyone else to remain a counselor.  I did.  But it was kind of a disaster with him as President.  he had no interest when it came down to it and he didn't really try to get to know the boys.  But he remained in the calling for a good five years, even after I had a chat with the bishop about it a few times.  Anyways, I always felt a little disappointed that he gave a sad story and solicited for a high demand, high involved calling, all to the detriment of not only my kid but others. 

In my book, the minute someone asks for a specific calling, you run away! It will never work out, and it's very inappropriate to ask for callings like that. That's in spades if you're not even asking the priesthood leaders (i.e., going to the auxiliary president) . . .

When I was a bishop the first time, it was for a newly-formed ward. What an experience, putting everything together --- everything; all callings --- in one week, before it was "curtain up" the next Sunday! There were a couple of streets that were kind of "no man's land" --- it was unclear which ward they were in, and the stake presidency was confused about it as well and making a decision on it. I received a call from a sister in "no man's land" who was concerned that she and others there wouldn't be considered for "any good callings" because we don't know them and don't even know if they're in our ward. I wanted to ask, "What was your name again?" so I could make a mental note not to ever put her in any leadership callings. :) They ended up not being in our ward. 

Posted
5 minutes ago, Scott Lloyd said:

There is also a verb form of effect. It means to bring about, as in to effect a change.

But that's not used very often either.

 

Yep. The rule as you gave it is pretty good. 

Posted
43 minutes ago, jkwilliams said:

My first mission president was a store owner from Argentina, so fairly well-off by South American standards, I guess. My second mission president was a religion professor at then-Ricks, as well as the Democratic leader in the Idaho legislature. So, he was better off than most religion professors, but not wealthy by any means. 

Hammond? I knew two people in LA, when I was a missionary, who served there then and met each other on their missions, names escape me though. They were good peeps!

Posted (edited)
12 minutes ago, rongo said:

In my book, the minute someone asks for a specific calling, you run away! It will never work out, and it's very inappropriate to ask for callings like that. That's in spades if you're not even asking the priesthood leaders (i.e., going to the auxiliary president) . . .

When I was a bishop the first time, it was for a newly-formed ward. What an experience, putting everything together --- everything; all callings --- in one week, before it was "curtain up" the next Sunday! There were a couple of streets that were kind of "no man's land" --- it was unclear which ward they were in, and the stake presidency was confused about it as well and making a decision on it. I received a call from a sister in "no man's land" who was concerned that she and others there wouldn't be considered for "any good callings" because we don't know them and don't even know if they're in our ward. I wanted to ask, "What was your name again?" so I could make a mental note not to ever put her in any leadership callings. :) They ended up not being in our ward. 

The calling I have enjoyed the most (other than Sunday School gospel doctrine teacher) is one that had never occurred to me that I would ever receive, and certainly one that I had no particular desire for beforehand.

That is the calling I have now: ward choir director. I have enjoyed it immensely and have readily acquired skills and knowledge I never thought I would possess. It has seemed as much a hobby or avocation to me as it has a Church calling. If I were being paid to do it, it would be a license to steal money.

But I need to stop saying how much I enjoy it. Not long ago, I read a comment from President Boyd K. Packer that if you're really enjoying a calling, it's probably time for you to be released from it.

 

Edited by Scott Lloyd
Posted
Just now, Scott Lloyd said:

The calling I have enjoyed the most (other than Sunday School gospel doctrine teacher) is one that had never occurred to me that I would ever receive, and certainly one that I had no particular desire for beforehand.

That is the calling I have now: ward choir director. I have enjoyed it immensely. It has seemed as much a hobby or avocation to me as it has a Church calling. If I were being paid to do it, it would be a license to steal money.

But I need to stop saying how much I enjoy it. Not long ago, I read a comment from President Boyd K. Packer that if you're really enjoying a calling, it's probably time for you to be released from it.

 

I worked with the Young Men in different wards for about 9 1/2 years. Loved it. I really struggled at first when I was elders quorum president, but eventually I figured out what I was doing and had things going very well. The high priests group leader said, "You're doing a great job. That must mean they're about to release you." They did release me and called me as executive secretary. 

Posted
3 minutes ago, Duncan said:

Hammond? I knew two people in LA, when I was a missionary, who served there then and met each other on their missions, names escape me though. They were good peeps!

Yep, Hammond. Wonderful man. I disagreed with a few things he did, but I've always loved him.

Posted
7 minutes ago, stemelbow said:

Wow.  Sometimes you forget about the complexities people have to live with. 

It's even worse. My dad, in addition to being the finance clerk for the mission (my mom is secretary to the president), is a counselor in a branch presidency. The branch president is a strong, wonderful member, but the Communist apostate faction scares him. The two previous branch presidents quit because of the bullying, and he was starting to waver. My dad gave him a "Little Roundtop" speech ("Gettysburg" reference) ---- essentially, that he has to hang in there, because there isn't anyone left if he gives up. 

One Sunday, Comrade --------- started to preach false doctrine in fast and testimony meeting, and the branch president asked him to sit down. He refused and got combative, and the branch president asserted himself more, and the brother sat down. Later, a young single mother coming back into activity gave her testimony, and he stood up and shouted, "I have to sit down, and you let that whore talk?" This was extremely disruptive, and the branch president closed the meeting and the branch presidency ushered the faction out to the foyer and then out of the building. 

The branch is doing well, but the cancer really needs to be dealt with. It is complex and difficult, to be sure. 

Posted
13 hours ago, JulieM said:

I've seen struggling members (financially) called into bishoprics too.

But not called to be SP. 

My friend's father was shocked when called as stake president. He was never a big believer but told us that he viewed it as kind of a "business decision" to be active in the church. Plus, my friend's mom was devout and would get very upset if they missed a meeting or didn't make it to the temple monthly. By all accounts, he was a good stake president, but it always puzzled me (and my friend) that he would have been called in the first place. Who knows?

Posted
9 hours ago, cinepro said:

I have the book.

Thank you. 

_________________

 

So if I I don't want a calling, maybe I should ask for it...

Posted
1 hour ago, jkwilliams said:

I can't imagine wanting a particular calling.

I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life as the ward family history consultant.

Posted
2 hours ago, ksfisher said:

I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life as the ward family history consultant.

I could do that. Genealogy is one of the things I picked up in the church that I'm still semi-obsessed about. It gives me something to do when I'm not out destroying testimonies. ;) 

Posted
3 minutes ago, jkwilliams said:

I could do that. Genealogy is one of the things I picked up in the church that I'm still semi-obsessed about. It gives me something to do when I'm not out destroying testimonies. ;) 

lol

Posted
3 hours ago, rongo said:

It's even worse. My dad, in addition to being the finance clerk for the mission (my mom is secretary to the president), is a counselor in a branch presidency. The branch president is a strong, wonderful member, but the Communist apostate faction scares him. The two previous branch presidents quit because of the bullying, and he was starting to waver. My dad gave him a "Little Roundtop" speech ("Gettysburg" reference) ---- essentially, that he has to hang in there, because there isn't anyone left if he gives up. 

One Sunday, Comrade --------- started to preach false doctrine in fast and testimony meeting, and the branch president asked him to sit down. He refused and got combative, and the branch president asserted himself more, and the brother sat down. Later, a young single mother coming back into activity gave her testimony, and he stood up and shouted, "I have to sit down, and you let that whore talk?" This was extremely disruptive, and the branch president closed the meeting and the branch presidency ushered the faction out to the foyer and then out of the building. 

The branch is doing well, but the cancer really needs to be dealt with. It is complex and difficult, to be sure. 

Oh...wow..just like wow..that would be a horrific thing to happen in front of God and everybody.  My ward had a non-member go to the pulpit and was upset that his non-LDS son couldn't participate in Scouts unless he attended meetings on Sunday...it was really something.  Broke some hearts too

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