You were borned and bred in deepest Mormondom. You served a mission or went to school in America or Canada, in someplace profoundly "Gentile". Compare/contrast the experiences.

[Rain]

4 hours ago, Mars said:

also, utah isn't my favorite place.  cache valley is fantastic.  the rest of utah?  meh.

I loved Cache Valley. I grew up there. Unfortunately it can be a really hard place to find jobs.  

[flameburns623]

Don't none of y'all Utahns have no funny stories about how weird it was to go somewhere where even the homeless guy drinking out of the brown bag is Mormon?

Places where the churches on every corner are NOT LDS Meeting-houses?

Where people eat stuff like hot boiled peanuts (Had some in Kentucky: tasted like they'd been boiled in the Great Salt Lake).

And take stuff like tornadoes and hurricanes and earthquakes with the same nonchalant alacrity that y'all shrug off four-foot snowfalls?

Where people use the sort of bad grammar I used in the first paragraph of thiams post?

Edited March 20, 2016 by flameburns623

[Coreyb]

I grew up all over the western US, including Utah, so I don't qualify to answer. I know there are such culturally shocked Mormons though because I trained a couple of them on my mission. The worst was kid from some tiny town in Idaho just north of Logan. To him Logan was a big cosmopolitan center of industry. The town in Northwest Arkansas we were working was rocking his world. The poverty in some of the rural areas astounded him. The amount of alcohol, tobacco, coffee and tea people consumed astounded him. He thought only rebellious biker types smoked, but in Arkansas everyone smokes, moms, grandmas, school teachers, pastors. The amount of Mexicans, and everything about Mexican culture astounded him. The amount of Black people, even though there were hardly any black people there, astounded him. He had no idea that a lot of black people are Muslim. He thought only Arab people were. He didn't realize that there are Jewish people throughout the country and they are just like "regular people". The fact that there were so many different churches was probably the biggest shocker. He said that Mormons, Catholics, and Baptists were the only Christian churches he had ever heard of. On his first day we rode down a long street with about ten different churches on it. He had to stop and take pictures to send back home. He asked why so many just had names like "LifeWay", "GraceChurch", or "The Cross" instead of Baptist or Methodist. I told him they were probably non-denominational. He asked what that meant and I told him it means they don't follow the creed or bylaws of any one denomination but just follow more general Christian doctrines. He then asked what a denomination was! I swear they had just sent me that kid out from under a rock. 

Edited March 20, 2016 by Coreyb

[Meadowchik]

15 hours ago, BlueDreams said:

That's funny, I lived almost right on top of you....or really really close. My family attends the Allen Stake, though at the time it was part of the mckinney stake. And to be fair, this experience was largely when I was a teen. Teens aren't known for being gentle with their opinions. I remember watching one of my peers getting bullied for being LDS in 9th grade. In frustration he turned and said why don't you bother her about it, she's also LDS. They were shocked, because I didn't fit their picture of what a mormon is...looks wise and behavioral.  I would get really really weird questions about my beliefs that often followed when their pastor or church had some special on the mormons. I remember listening to a christian radio special on us (needless to say it was really inaccurate). Etc. This was probably most confusing to me because I'd just moved from an area where religious differences weren't a big deal and rarely brought up. All the sudden i'm in a place where people would ask frequently what church I attended. 

The racial stratification, was more along the lines of stereotype and expectations. You were either black, white or mexican....but they didn't really have a category for someone who was in some ways all three. The south in general is more stratified in racial terms, and for a mixed girl who ID's primarily as mixed race...it gets on your nerves after a while. And though I was seen as black by many thanks to the one-drop perspective that was still very prevalent, it could all the sudden be recognized that I was half-white when it came out that I was also mormon. I still remember sitting and having someone go "how can you be mormon? You're black" then pause and go "But you're mom's white, right? That makes sense" Basically being only half-black somehow made being in a perceived racist white church understandable....which brings another stereotype of self-hating mixed folk. 

My IB english class had a book banned (one that was a favorite) called House of Spirits by Isabelle Allende. It is still on my list of favorite books and she is one of my favorite authors. The class was written as a college level english course reading college level books that were geared toward social/world issues. It was written right into the syllabus. But a mom found the word brothel in it (there are far more controversial things in it then the mention of a brothel) and she was a very conservative christian. She got in cahoots with the school and a bunch of other conservative parents who put pressure to have the book removed...and it was removed the next year. And you should have seen the halabaloo the kids got into when we were taught evolution in 9th grade biology. I couldn't figure it out because the video sounded a lot like the creation anyways if you weren't so literal. My friend at the time said of course, you're mormon....like that would explain why I didn't have an issue with evolution.

This, plus the fact that I hated the weather there, and that I had moved on average every 2 years up (shortest move was 7 months....also texas) until my 4 year stay in TX meant I was itching to leave the state. When I applied to colleges my only qualification was that it wasn't in Texas. Besides, I am a vegetarian who doesn't care for football. It was never going to work out  

 

With luv,

BD

Grew up in Dallas East Stake! My best friend in kindergarten is now in McKinney

[Rain]

My brother lived in Mckinney before he moved 2 years ago.  His family had been vacationing with someone from there the last week. 

[boblloyd91]

On 3/18/2016 at 10:45 AM, flameburns623 said:

Yes I am aware it's long out of style to reference non-LDS as "Gentiles".

I know that I experienced a culture shock going from a very conservative and traditional Catholic parish to a military chapel infused with "the Spirit of Vatican II".

I'm reading Missionary blogs and clearly some of the small-town Utahns and Idahoans find aspects of St Louis to be a tad alien 👽.

Like barbecued pork butts for Memorial Day, and "Which high school didja go to"?

And realizing they are serving in an area that thinks Mormons are polygamous Amish, a place where many people have maybe heard of Mormons but are surprised to meet one in real life. 

Did others have similar experiences? Cultural dissonance that wasn't really expected, given that this is America after all?

This is a just-for-fun thread, don't think it has to get real deep or profound.

BBQ in "Mormondom" has much to learn from the south!

[boblloyd91]

15 hours ago, Rain said:

I loved Cache Valley. I grew up there. Unfortunately it can be a really hard place to find jobs.  

As a true Aggie I have to agree with you

[boblloyd91]

I know for me culture shock was bad in Iowa. At first I thought it would be just like small town Utah, which I quite like, but when I got there realized there was a great deal of difference. 

[Tacenda]

2 minutes ago, boblloyd91 said:

I know for me culture shock was bad in Iowa. At first I thought it would be just like small town Utah, which I quite like, but when I got there realized there was a great deal of difference. 

Like what?

[Rain]

I really only remember cultural shock at one point in my life.  That was when we went to Memphis. We stayed in a hotel where I think we were the only white people. I had heard about how blacks feel as a minority, but it wasn't till that point where it was so clear I was the minority. The people gave us no reason to fear,  but just looking so different we knew we stood out.  

The first 6 years of my life my dad was in the military and we lived in many places in the US. Perhaps,  even though I remember extremely little of it then it was enough to not have cultural shock?

Or maybe it was because I was a young age?  My mom didn't feel it moving from Colorado to all those places and then to Utah for 16 years,  but she did feel it when she moved to Memphis and and again later when she moved back to Utah. 

Edited March 20, 2016 by Rain

[Tacenda]

11 minutes ago, Rain said:

I really only remember cultural shock at one point in my life.  That was when we went to Memphis. We stayed in a hotel where I think we were the only shire people. I had heard about how blacks feel as a minority, but it wasn't till that point where it was so clear I was the minority. The people have us no reason to fear,  but just looking so different we knew we stood out.  

The first 6 years of my life my dad was in the military and we lived in many places in the US. Perhaps,  even though I remember extremely little of it then it was enough to not have cultural shock?

Or maybe it was because I was a young age?  My mom didn't feel it moving from Colorado to all those places and then to Utah for 16 years,  but she did feel it when she moved to Memphis and and again later when she moved back to Utah. 

I guess I'm backwards I don't know what shire means.  But what an interesting life you had growing up.  I envy those that got to travel and live in different parts of the world.

[Mars]

i had minor culture shock going to france for my mission.  i think most americans would.

i had substantial culture shock coming back off my mission and re-integrating into normal society.  i think most missionaries would.

i had major culture shock moving from east texas to davis county, utah as a senior in high school.  you'd have to be crazy not to.

Edited March 21, 2016 by Mars

[Rain]

2 hours ago, Tacenda said:

I guess I'm backwards I don't know what shire means.  But what an interesting life you had growing up.  I envy those that got to travel and live in different parts of the world.

Sorry. Autocorrect strikes again. Shire= white.

[Rain]

1 hour ago, Mars said:

i had minor culture shock going to france for my mission.  i think most americans would.

i had substantial culture shock coming back off my mission and re-integrating into normal society.  i think most missionaries would.

i had major culture shock moving from east texas to david county, utah as a senior in high school.  you'd have to be crazy not to.

Ok,  I had to look up culture shock to see if I were missing something in my own life.  Wikipedia describes culture shock as:  an experience a person may have when one moves to a cultural environment which is different from one's own; it is also the personal disorientation a person may feel when experiencing an unfamiliar way of life due to immigration or a visit to a new country, a move between social environments, or simply transition to another type of life."

With the transition idea I can see I have experienced culture shock, oddly when I moved from Utah to Mesa. I think a great deal of this was things that went wrong and the disorientation of job loss etc rather than culture,  but there was one area that really threw me here: there were no PTAs. I have never been one to go for president etc but by going to the meetings I found a lot of ways to volunteer like with the reading program or evaluating projects etc.  Here I have felt that even asking about volunteer opportunities was crossing over the line. 

I think a lot of my lack or disorientation many times come from how I go about things.  First I really dig into the new place I am going to see all the differences.  I may not specifically remember everything,  but it is all tucked in there somewhere and feels familiar when I come across it.  The Internet is better and worse.   I can get more info than before,  but I can also become obsessive.  

Second, I have a great imagination.  By great I don't mean wonderful.  I mean large.  I will go over scenerio after scenerio in my mind constantly when I get ready to go to a different place. I constantly imagine scene after scene and what I will do.  It drives my husband a little crazy, but he appreciates when that had helped us. 

So I apologize. I was becoming a little defensive about this.  My thought was that it was another of many stabs at Utah. That combined with the gift of not usually having to deal with culture shock had me less than empathetic. I'll try better now.

[Stargazer]

On 3/18/2016 at 10:05 AM, mnn727 said:

My experience is the opposite, I was born and live in the 'Real World" and am astounded when I have traveled to Utah. I can't image living among all those Mormons.

Well, then, you weren't born in bred in deepest Mormonism.  

You're like me, visiting Salt Lake City is a bit of culture shock for me. Let alone some place out in the boonies, like Escalante, UT.  Which I visited many years ago.  And where I may visit again!

[Stargazer]

On 3/18/2016 at 3:21 PM, Tacenda said:

Ok, I'll believe you.  I'd love to live in another state/country by way of service or the actual living there for 18 months as Senior Couples do.  That would give me the feel of living outside of Utah.  But you need a firm testimony to go on a mission.  If only I had the chance then I could compare, but w/o that I'm left to wonder.  And Ahab, I can't p/u and move w/o my hubby.  And he won't leave his job, so I'm pretty much stuck, unless I get a divorce or a temple recommend, but still I'd need my husband to quit his job.

Be patient.  He can't work forever, and you can't go on a senior mission until he retires anyway (unless you're independently wealthy like one of my sons' mission president).  There's time for you to gain a strong testimony, too.  If I could touch you on the forehead and give you one, I'd do it, but of course that's ridiculous.

[Stargazer]

I've been blessed to live outside of Utah most of my Church life.

I joined the Church in So. California in 1966, in Garden Grove as a matter of fact.  LDS were far from rare around there and then, but not at all as common as in Utah of course.  My family moved from there in 1967 to Toronto, Canada, and in 1971 to England. Both places where LDS were relatively or very rare.  I was inactive in Toronto and knew no LDS people at all, and never even got home taught, but in England (Cheltenham, in Gloucestershire) I was back to being highly active -- kind of for the first time, actually.  Went back to California to prepare for my mission, and spent a couple of months in Provo for learning German, and then Germany for two years.  Came back to California, got married the first time, and moved to Provo to attend BYU for a few months, ran out of money with wife pregnant, and so joined the Army.  In the Army spent time at Ft. Knox, KY and Ft. Polk, LA for training, then stationed at Ft. Lewis, WA for three years.  Really liked Washington, which is why I came back after my discharge.  But got divorced in Washington, re-enlisted in the Army, and went to Ft. Gordon, GA for training into a different field.  Ended up marrying my late wife in Georgia, and then we were transferred to Germany, to her mother's home town in fact!  I got out after that tour and we moved to Washington, which is where we were for 30 years, and where my wife died.

Now, however, having remarried to an Englishwoman, I am about to relocate to England!  Would you believe that there are people in what will be my new ward, who know people in the ward I was in way back in 1970's!  And one of my new ward members even knew the man I baptized in Germany?  Amazing.

Utah has been a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.  I much prefer it out among the Gentiles.  Mainly because of the missionary opportunities that exist.

[mnn727]

49 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

Well, then, you weren't born in bred in deepest Mormonism.  

You're like me, visiting Salt Lake City is a bit of culture shock for me. Let alone some place out in the boonies, like Escalante, UT.  Which I visited many years ago.  And where I may visit again!

I wasn't even born LDS, didn't convert til my late 30's

[Meadowchik]

27 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

I've been blessed to live outside of Utah most of my Church life.

I joined the Church in So. California in 1966, in Garden Grove as a matter of fact.  LDS were far from rare around there and then, but not at all as common as in Utah of course.  My family moved from there in 1967 to Toronto, Canada, and in 1971 to England. Both places where LDS were relatively or very rare.  I was inactive in Toronto and knew no LDS people at all, and never even got home taught, but in England (Cheltenham, in Gloucestershire) I was back to being highly active -- kind of for the first time, actually.  Went back to California to prepare for my mission, and spent a couple of months in Provo for learning German, and then Germany for two years.  Came back to California, got married the first time, and moved to Provo to attend BYU for a few months, ran out of money with wife pregnant, and so joined the Army.  In the Army spent time at Ft. Knox, KY and Ft. Polk, LA for training, then stationed at Ft. Lewis, WA for three years.  Really liked Washington, which is why I came back after my discharge.  But got divorced in Washington, re-enlisted in the Army, and went to Ft. Gordon, GA for training into a different field.  Ended up marrying my late wife in Georgia, and then we were transferred to Germany, to her mother's home town in fact!  I got out after that tour and we moved to Washington, which is where we were for 30 years, and where my wife died.

Now, however, having remarried to an Englishwoman, I am about to relocate to England!  Would you believe that there are people in what will be my new ward, who know people in the ward I was in way back in 1970's!  And one of my new ward members even knew the man I baptized in Germany?  Amazing.

Utah has been a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.  I much prefer it out among the Gentiles.  Mainly because of the missionary opportunities that exist.

CONGRATS STARGAZER!!!

[BlueDreams]

5 hours ago, Tacenda said:

I guess I'm backwards I don't know what shire means.  But what an interesting life you had growing up.  I envy those that got to travel and live in different parts of the world.

Though I'm really glad we moved a ton, there's thing I wish I could have experienced that moving didn't allow for...like life long friends and a sense of really being rooted to a place and feeling more ingrained to a community . Every way of life has it's positives and negatives

 

with luv, 

bd

[Stargazer]

9 hours ago, Tacenda said:

I guess I'm backwards I don't know what shire means.  But what an interesting life you had growing up.  I envy those that got to travel and live in different parts of the world.

She's clearly a Hobbit.  You know, The Shire?  Hobbiton?  Lord of the Rings?

:-)

[Stargazer]

4 hours ago, Meadowchik said:

CONGRATS STARGAZER!!!

Thanks!

I posted the story in Social Hall, if you're interested.

Edited March 21, 2016 by Stargazer

[mrmarklin]

On March 18, 2016 at 10:36 AM, Tacenda said:

So your point?  Are we, Utah  Mormons, backwards or not?

Utards.

[USU78]

I was born in the Bear Flag Republic, Fort Bragg, and lived there as well as Auburn and Vallejo.  In Utah I've lived in Brigham, Logan, Price, Salt Lake and Sandy.

My first encounter with anti-Mormon bigotry was in Brigham  ...  quite an active anti-Mormon presence there then as well as now.

The only things I can think of about the fish-out-of-water experience during my mission in Austria were:

a. mesh briefs and open robes as casual wear during teaching appointments;

b. casual nudity at open windows;

c. more cathouses per square mile than grocery stores in certain towns;

d. rampant adultery in branch leadership;

e. More expatriot Czechs and Yugoslavs in Vienna than native Germans (or so it seemed at times); and

f. mutually unintelligible dialects of German in neighboring towns.

[boblloyd91]

On 3/20/2016 at 9:35 AM, Tacenda said:

Like what?

The religious differences. In many parts of Iowa there are as many churches on a street, but they all are different denominations.