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Is There Hope For People?


LOSTONE

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I don’t like sounding so negative or bitter, but I know from my own personal experience, just how horribly mean and cruel people can be to each other, including family, friends, and fellow church people. The meanness and cruelness is not limited to general society outside the scope of our social comfort zones or love ones. Sad, but from my personal experiences, this seems to clearly be the case. I wish I had different experiences to feel better, but I haven’t.

So, what is your opinion about people? Is there hope for people? I personally can not find reasons to have hope for people, but that is just my personal life experience.

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Hello Lostone...

Oh dear... how can I answer without sounding trite... Let's just say that I find great hope for people in general, as well as myself... and comfort... in the scriptures, which are replete with numerous expressions of hope.  What we as people do... whether we embrace and follow the principles and concepts of love and hope is the question.   

There's not much you can do for others, but be an example... if you have children, try and instill in them compassion, hope, and love...  and for yourself, let yourself be filled with hope and love for your "fellow man" as you live your life, as difficult as that may be... well, this does sound trite and is not really much of an answer, but you can only control yourself and how you treat and react to others.

One of my favorite scriptures... John 14:27... ends with "Let not your heart be troubled... neither let it be afraid."  

 

Peace... GG 

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NO! People have done nothing but hurt each other and themselves from the beginning of there own creation and use lies to try to justify that hurt. People are destructive and evil be Earth bound living. If there is to be any hope for people, it will be after their life on Earth is done. People are mean and evil and destructive. Even some on this site. You can see it in their posts as they disagree, how evil and mean they can get.

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I don’t like sounding so negative or bitter, but I know from my own personal experience, just how horribly mean and cruel people can be to each other, including family, friends, and fellow church people. The meanness and cruelness is not limited to general society outside the scope of our social comfort zones or love ones. Sad, but from my personal experiences, this seems to clearly be the case. I wish I had different experiences to feel better, but I haven’t.

So, what is your opinion about people? Is there hope for people? I personally can not find reasons to have hope for people, but that is just my personal life experience.

I have an almost completely opposite experience.  Family and friends have never been mean and absolutely not cruel, while I can't choose my family (and mine is awesome as is my DH's family) anyone who is mean or cruel is not someone I count among my friends and their appearance in my life is very short lived.  I have no fellow church people though I have provided service to my fellow residents many of them are church goers, I see them Sunday after church, and they have been just as nice as anyone else.  Over the years I've worked waiting tables, bartending, clerking in fastfood, convenience stores, clothing stores, I've cleaned homes and delivered pizzas and the overwhelming majority of people I've interacted with have been at least pleasant and polite.  Quite a few have been friendly, respectful and sympathetic, I have been treated well by people and find my fellow human beings to be a wonderful gift in this life. 

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My experience has been much like yours, Yirgacheffe plus a strong church community.  In fact, looking back I've wondered sometimes why I wasn't exposed to a more negative experience rather than people in general being kind and gentle with naive, innocent little me instead of taking advantage as so often they could have.

 

There have been a few "mean" people in my life, only one that I've had to have contact with due to being relative and I've chosen to distance myself as I see presenting opportunities to be picked on does neither the victim or the perpetrator any good.

 

I know that there are many who seem to have such a huge portion of bad experiences in their life where others have taken advantage and I haven't been able to see any reason for that to be for many of them (a few it is obvious they set themselves up to be victims either because of lack of awareness or because they get a reward out of being a victim for some reason).  I don't know why life is so unfair and unbalanced and some seem to lead a golden life while others a tortured one, I am very grateful (and maybe it is so I can feel okay about getting the good end but I hope it is more because it is the truth) for the gospel that teaches that God loves us all and all wounds will be healed in time and eternity and all gifted beyond their current comprehension for their fondest desires of their hearts.

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And long numbered avatar person, that isn't your former ID in prison I hope. Because you sound so angry and the only place I can imagine you coming up with that hopeless anger is in jail or prison because surely there's someone good in your life and it could still be in prison. I just know some stories told to me by my brother from his incaceration, scary for sure. I feel for both you and Lostone to have had these experiences with our human race. Unless it's all in how you're perceiving people. Or you live in a POW camp. Dunno, it sure has me baffled though.

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The fact that you came here to ask suggests you believe that at least some are not in that category.   IME the vast majority of people are not what you describe    But that doesn't fix the hurt from those people who are.

 

I'm sure you've heard of confirmation bias: humans tend to see and remember the things that confirm what they already believe.   You might consider whether that is what you are doing.

 

Sometimes when everyone is mean to someone, that person can get help to figure out if they can change something to avoid further victimization.   If you have never had cognitive behavioral therapy (which teaches healthy thinking skills, doesn't involve a lot of talking about your past, lots of therapists claim they do it, but few actually do it, is research proven for PTSD, depression and anxiety), then I suggest you find someone to help with that.  If you cannot afford it, try an online version which is experimental to find out whether it can be as effective in that mode as it is in person:  https://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome%C2'>

 

I'd also suggest that you read up some on codependency to see if that sounds familiar and could be part of the issue.

 

Sometimes we have to change the circle of our friends. 

 

Sometimes we have to accept that even when we are seeking diligently to live Christlike lives, we sometimes mess up and hurt others.  Maybe we are too tired, or too stressed, or have absorbed too much anger or hurt from others that day.   A whole lot of reasons.  Sometimes we just have to try to see another as what they can become, rather than what they are presently.

 

I'm sorry about your struggles today.  You sound like you tried to do something good and it was not accepted as such.  So just don't let those who are negative, determine what you do.  Choose not to react and not to believe meanness is inevitable.   Choose to be patient and kind in response.   Do not absorb and reflect ugliness just because you experience it.

 

Pass goodness forward, no matter what comes to you.

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And long numbered avatar person, that isn't your former ID in prison I hope. ...

:D:rofl::D

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Yes there is hope. It comes through Jesus Christ.

 

I believe Christ can transform us as individuals and as people.

 

The Gospel of Jesus Christ has the power to seal families together. But it also has the power to change family members so that we will actually want to be with those people.

There is hope through Jesus Christ. Other than that, there is none.

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I'm really sorry about your experiences. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you.

Things I have personally know of/seen that give me hope:

- a woman who walks to church in the AZ heat instead of driving so that she can wheel another woman in a wheelchair there. The older woman doesn't seem to have the mental ability to really know what is being taught anymore, but you can tell she appreciates the spirituality and friendship aspect of it.

- A couple thousand people who work together to create a festival every year that honors loved ones and made close to 2 million dollars last year for the children at a hospital - every penny of that going to the hospital

- major sports stars visiting children in the hospital without fanfare

- volunteers who come in to schools and read with children every week

- people shoveling snow for the elderly

- people who collect business clothes for poor women entering the professional workforce

- cookies and bread delivered just because

- groceries delivered to doors when people were low on food and money

- a man, and his co volunteers, who works 2 days (edit 2 days a week)helping people get jobs, most of whom are homeless

- a director in a drug program that treats everyone with compassion, optimism and energy

- a family who has volunteered to take in a child after school till 10pm every night when his mom gets home, till her company hires someone else to help her

And more...much more....

The best way to see more of that is to be that hope for someone else. We are Christ's hands here on earth.

Edited by Rain
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I'm really sorry about your experiences. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you.

Things I have personally know of/seen that give me hope:

- a woman who walks to church in the AZ heat instead of driving so that she can wheel another woman in a wheelchair there. The older woman doesn't seem to have the mental ability to really know what is being taught anymore, but you can tell she appreciates the spirituality and friendship aspect of it.

- A couple thousand people who work together to create a festival every year that honors loved ones and made close to 2 million dollars last year for the children at a hospital - every penny of that going to the hospital

- major sports stars visiting children in the hospital without fanfare

- volunteers who come in to schools and read with children every week

- people shoveling snow for the elderly

- people who collect business clothes for poor women entering the professional workforce

- cookies and bread delivered just because

- groceries delivered to doors when people were low on food and money

- a man, and his co volunteers, who works 2 days helping people get jobs, most of whom are homeless

- a director in a drug program that treats everyone with compassion, optimism and energy

- a family who has volunteered to take in a child after school till 10pm every night when his mom gets home, till her company hires someone else to help her

And more...much more....

The best way to see more of that is to be that hope for someone else. We are Christ's hands here on earth.

This inspires me Rain!

 

My MIL gave me poem written by Charles L. Swindoll about attitudes called "Attitude" that I've kept for years. I can't link or show but will later. I think of it often, it's amazing how it can change our thinking.  ADDED:  Looks like Cal took care of it below, thank you!

Edited by Tacenda
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http://faculty.kutztown.edu/friehauf/attitude.html

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.  It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.  It will make or break a company... a church... a home.  The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes”

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  • 4 weeks later...

I don’t like sounding so negative or bitter, but I know from my own personal experience, just how horribly mean and cruel people can be to each other, including family, friends, and fellow church people. The meanness and cruelness is not limited to general society outside the scope of our social comfort zones or love ones. Sad, but from my personal experiences, this seems to clearly be the case. I wish I had different experiences to feel better, but I haven’t.

So, what is your opinion about people? Is there hope for people? I personally can not find reasons to have hope for people, but that is just my personal life experience.

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Lol, well that test in quoting was a bust!

Lostone, I understand perfectly what you are trying to convey. I wish that people in a forum could be less judgemental and understand that everyone has their own cross to bear, and if yours is a general feeling of a lack of safety net in the buffetings of life, it is not necessarily due to a negative outlook.

We may have had a choice in our family before we came into this world, but some of us chose to enter into easier lives understanding that our challenges would stem around compassion, meekness and humility. Some of us though, chose a more difficult upbringing with the challenges in our life hinging around surviving, overcoming, and placing ourselves in a position to influence those around us to make better choices.

My mom had a horrible upbringing and life, but she found the church, was baptized, and influenced her entire family for generations (shes grandma age now).

I have a great attitude and I love people (I work in public relations for a TV station!) But I have had a great many people be cruel, hurtful and even uncharacteristically threatening. I dont know why this is, I just try to remember the words of Jacob in 2 Nephi 9 when he said of me: "they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever." I truly despise the shame of of the way in which I have trusted some people who have turned on me. And so this scripture holds deep meaning to me. As long as I continue to love, and trust, and try and hope and am allowed to despise the negative that sometimes comes back to me without despising the person, then I know I am heir to the promise that after this life my joy will be full forever. And so wil yours.

Keep your faith strong!

Gen

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