Mystery Meat Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I started this thread because I find the topic fascinating as a YSA (and because Tacenda can't start threads ). I don't have time to share my thoughts as a 29 year old YSA at the moment but will do so in a bit. In the meantime I would love to hear others thoughts on life as a YSA in the Church and the Church culture.
Coreyb Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 (edited) Its like being a missionary. When your a missionary, the "regular" members all want you to be successful in getting converts, so they load you full of "advice" on how to be a "good missionary", but very few are interested in actually helping you (IE, introducing you to people, helping you teach, befriending people you introduce them to at church). When you are in the YSA, many of the "regular" members want you to be "successful in finding a spouse", so they give you lots of advice on what you should be doing as far as dating, but few are interested in helping you (IE, introducing you to people). Its pretty comical sometimes, and makes me want to yell, "if you don't have anything useful to say, don't say anything at all!" Edited February 27, 2014 by Coreyb
Duncan Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 (edited) You need to have a huge filter, take in what is good and get rid of what is bad, regardless of who it comes from. You are living with consequences of your choices and not your leaders Edited February 27, 2014 by Duncan 3
pogi Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I don't miss all of the gay jokes! Being a young single adult felt a lot like being infertile...somehow you just don't belong culturally speaking. 1
Popular Post The Nehor Posted February 27, 2014 Popular Post Posted February 27, 2014 (edited) I thought it was hellish. Then I became a plain SA and discovered a new definition of pain and suffering. I think we should invite married members to come to our activities. Might lower the divorce rate in the church.Edit: That is mostly sarcasm.....but only mostly. Edited February 27, 2014 by The Nehor 7
Scott Lloyd Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 You need to have a huge filter, take in what is good and get rid of what is bad, regardless of who it comes from. You are living with consequences of your choices and not your leadersHaving this kind of attitude is what saw me through my days of singleness. 1
altersteve Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I'm almost 22 (holy crap) and I love it.
The Nehor Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I'm almost 22 (holy crap) and I love it.Enjoy it but get out at some point if you can. The joy begins to wear thin with time. 1
altersteve Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I definitely don't intend on staying single forever.
The Nehor Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I definitely don't intend on staying single forever. Neither did I. Sorry, I am being depressing. I can say I had a lot of fun in the program.
cinepro Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 What It's Like Being a Single Adult in the LDS Church 3
strappinglad Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 (edited) I love the apocryphal story of how Hugh Nibley found his wife. He had been ' encouraged' by some of the church brethren to get married so he told them he would at that moment leave his office and propose to the first women he saw. He was serious , but I'm reasonably sure there was more to the story. He got married at 35 when he started work at BYU. Edited February 28, 2014 by strappinglad
VideoGameJunkie Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I think I'll find love someday. I just live in an area with very few LDS my age who are still single.
halconero Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 (edited) /\ / \ ll ll Me and my girlfriend, Dayna about an hour ago after finishing a delicious home made meal, my anthro assignment, and an episode of Sherlock. Life is Marvelous. Edited February 28, 2014 by halconero
Tacenda Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 /\ / \ ll ll Me and my girlfriend, Dayna about an hour ago after finishing a delicious home made meal, my anthro assignment, and an episode of Sherlock. Life is Marvelous. Halconero, did you pay very close attention to this video? Why it's almost pornographic. I wink, but still....
Gohan Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 As the only single guy in my college apartment...I sympathize with this situation....
Traela Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 As the only single guy in my college apartment...I sympathize with this situation....What, they don't just annoy their girlfriends' roommates? (My daughter may have mentioned a constant male presence in her living room once or twice.)
Gohan Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 What, they don't just annoy their girlfriends' roommates? (My daughter may have mentioned a constant male presence in her living room once or twice.)Only one of them hangs out at their girlfriend's apartment. Sadly for me, they're the most chill, and the ones that I actually don't mind hanging out with.
Madmardigan Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I got married at 26. Was in a YSA ward in Alaska after moving there from BYU-Idaho. That was a big risk for me as the selections in Alaska are pretty slim. It worked out though! I never felt marginalized or less of a person/member as a YSA. It was annoying at times to be single but I enjoyed myself. The only person that gave me a hard time somewhat was my mom, of course.
BlueDreams Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I never felt marginalized or less of a person/member as a YSA. It was annoying at times to be single but I enjoyed myself. The only person that gave me a hard time somewhat was my mom, of course. My mom has surprisingly been the best at it. All I've gotten in terms of pressure is bribery and some hints through her over-exuberance if I go on a date that she knows with. The bribery I came home once (I think I was 24) for X-mas. She mentioned that they'd gotten me a big gift. I got to my room and they'd bought me a completely new bedroom: solid dark wood dressers with tile inlet on top, large mirror, 2 night stands, a queen or king size bed....the works. It was beautiful. Then she told me they'd bring it up to me.....once I'd gotten married. Bribes are the best! Most people it's just not thinking things through. They see me and just ask why I'm not married yet....or that I'd be a great mom/wife....etc. Like there's some amazing qualifications that help expedite the process. Or like there aren't some amazing off-kilter weirdo who somehow still end up married. Overall, being a YSA is what you make it to be. There's things I really love about my life that are easier cuz I'm single. I don't have to coordinate my life with someone else. I can stack up on work and school. My bills are simple and straight forward. Etc. Some things are very good and very easy. But the older I get, the more willing I'd be to trade in large chunks of it to be "chained down" per se. And I don't have a glowing view of marriage either. I don't do much with my YSA itself. I have a few loose friendships in it, but most of my friendships are outside of my ward. So I can't tell you much about being in a YSA ward. Still, part of being single in a mormon college town ain't fun. For one, people are extremely transient. I've had 16 roommates in the last 3 years. 16 people with different friend/relationship dynamics. So that gets tiring...and I'm at that tired state. I think the things I like about being a YSA are the same as why I don't. I like my independence, being able to do what I want with few obligations to think of minus school/work. I don't like never feeling really settled down and having a place and people that are really just a unit. I like dating and feeling attractive and flirting from time to time. I hate dating a bunch of people I'm not interested in and wanting just the one person to stick and stay. etc. I love my alone time, I hate being alone. I love being able to help my friends out with kids. I yearn and wish I had my own children. etc. With luv,BD 3
BlueDreams Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Halconero, did you pay very close attention to this video? Why it's almost pornographic. I wink, but still.... Hey now, we're single....not nuns. I stick out my tongue, but I'm dead serious. Though, for all the jeremy's out there, I do usually wait till the roommates are out of the room. With luv,BD
pogi Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Hey now, we're single....not nuns. I stick out my tongue, but I'm dead serious. Though, for all the jeremy's out there, I do usually wait till the roommates are out of the room. With luv,BD Just keep that tongue in while you are kissing Unless of course the strength of the youth pamphlet is not applicable to the young single adult. I have never seen a YSA pamphlet, so I guess you are in the clear. So, never mind...Have fun!
Tacenda Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Hey now, we're single....not nuns. I stick out my tongue, but I'm dead serious. Though, for all the jeremy's out there, I do usually wait till the roommates are out of the room. With luv,BDWell with your Avatar's lips you would be a good kisser. Just kidding, sorry to sound like such a prude with my previous comment. But Jeremy's link just needs to stay still. Just sayin...
BlueDreams Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Just keep that tongue in while you are kissing Unless of course the strength of the youth pamphlet is not applicable to the young single adult. I have never seen a YSA pamphlet, so I guess you are in the clear. So, never mind...Have fun! Have fun! Will do!
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