Looking For Advice - And Trying To Get Perspective

[Tacenda]

I was reading a thread on another forum about the angst of having your child in early morning Seminary.  Some of the comments were that their child and themselves were losing sleep which in turn caused headaches, or for the child, falling grades, grumpiness & just plain unhappiness.  But they had to go in order to enroll or get accepted at BYU.  Is your son in this type of environment, early morning Seminary?  Or is this one reason you are dead set against his dropping out...that he wouldn't be accepted at BYU?  How people that live in an area that doesn't offer Seminary at the local High School do it, is beyond me, such sacrifice.  The group discussing this mention having to leave at 5:40 am everyday.  Maybe the church isn't nearby or something like that.  ETA:  I forgot, your son, if going, more than likely won't go to a foreign mission without having graduated all 4 years of Seminary.  Maybe something to do with some countries stating one cannot proselyte without attending a theologian school aka "Seminary" of some sort.  That's something to think about if he hasn't already.  And it's been something I've thought about with my kids.                  

Edited December 7, 2013 by Tacenda

[Calm]

  But they had to go in order to enroll or get accepted at BYU. 

 

This is why I went to independent study though at the time we didn't know it was an actual sleep disorder.

 

Kids' natural sleep cycle should have school starting around 10 or so, they are naturally more like to stay awake at night and sleep in.  Early Morning Seminary may lead to illness for those not able to adapt.  If it is significant, get a doctor's note and take it to whomever is running the stuff and insist on independent study, imo....speaking as someone who was constantly sick with allergies, headaches, had constant fatigue and overall hated highschool...which last probably would have happened anyway, but feeling sick and achey every morning waking up didn't help.

Edited December 7, 2013 by calmoriah

[Tacenda]

This is why I went to independent study though at the time we didn't know it was an actual sleep disorder.

 

Kids' natural sleep cycle should have school starting around 10 or so, they are naturally more like to stay awake at night and sleep in.  Early Morning Seminary may lead to illness for those not able to adapt.  If it is significant, get a doctor's note and take it to whomever is running the stuff and insist on independent study, imo....speaking as someone who was constantly sick with allergies, headaches, had constant fatigue and overall hated highschool...which last probably would have happened anyway, but feeling sick and achey every morning waking up didn't help.

I often wish they'd have a later start time in HS.  I guess they think they might need to go to a job right after school.  Funny thing that you mention getting a doctor's note for online Seminary.  My son's Seminary teacher last year offered that option for my son.  As you can see, it's been a battle for a couple of years.  But we passed, he didn't want to do it.   

[Calm]

My son's Seminary teacher last year offered that option for my son.

 

Good to hear it is still an option.

[Maestrophil]

I was reading a thread on another forum about the angst of having your child in early morning Seminary.  Some of the comments were that their child and themselves were losing sleep which in turn caused headaches, or for the child, falling grades, grumpiness & just plain unhappiness.  But they had to go in order to enroll or get accepted at BYU.  Is your son in this type of environment, early morning Seminary?  Or is this one reason you are dead set against his dropping out...that he wouldn't be accepted at BYU?  How people that live in an area that doesn't offer Seminary at the local High School do it, is beyond me, such sacrifice.  The group discussing this mention having to leave at 5:40 am everyday.  Maybe the church isn't nearby or something like that.  ETA:  I forgot, your son, if going, more than likely won't go to a foreign mission without having graduated all 4 years of Seminary.  Maybe something to do with some countries stating one cannot proselyte without attending a theologian school aka "Seminary" of some sort.  That's something to think about if he hasn't already.  And it's been something I've thought about with my kids.                  

 

 

Tacenda,

 

My son goes during his regular hogh school day as 'release time' from school.  He does not want to go to BYU and is not even 100% sure about college.  Even hearing him talk about being a missionary would be a shock to me!  So no, none fo those things are factors in his attending seminary.

[Tacenda]

Tacenda,

My son goes during his regular hogh school day as 'release time' from school. He does not want to go to BYU and is not even 100% sure about college. Even hearing him talk about being a missionary would be a shock to me! So no, none fo those things are factors in his attending seminary.

Does he have peers in church or school that might cause him to rethink? Or it may be the Seminary teacher. My son was switched to one he jelled better with. Now he goes when he feels like it, I worry he is a big distraction, and tell the teacher we can just drop the class. My son gets in these moods, and some days he's fine and others not so much. The minute my husband and I come down hard on him for him to go to church he threatens to move out. So I feel your pain, and have even said he could worship another way, I don't care what church, or homeless shelter/rest home, sick or lonely person, anything other than being self serving all Sunday with video games and movies. It's a battle.

You have it ten fold when you have to work at having your son get some church in when your ex-wife is sort of going against.

Edited December 7, 2013 by Tacenda

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Hi all,

 

I had a conversation with my 16 year-old son last night that has been weighing heavily on my heart, and wanted to come here to get the usual great advice and perspective...

 

I caught him sluffing seminary and when I finally had time to sit and ask him why, he told me "I've been looking into the church and going my whole life, and I'm DONE.  I don't know why you force me to go to seminary.  I am only going to stop going to church when I am 18 anyway"  I explained calmly to him that, as a father, I "force" him to go to school and brush his teeth.  I kept calm and told him I love and respect his agency, and that when he is an adult, I will respect his choices and love him regardless of beliefs or lack of.  But my heart was aching...

 

He mentioned that he has issues with the church.  I asked what kind of issues.  He said "Well the founder had affairs on his wife... that's like one of the worst sins..."  I calmly said that some people I love and respect believe that, and some, including me, have differeing views.  At that point he stopped talking, and I, not wanting to lecture too much, ended the conversation...

 

There are other factors too, but that is good enough to get started.   I would love opinions and advice on how to proceed with him, and how to not let is get me down...

 

Any takers?

 

Thanks!

 

Phillip

Father of four here...children are always testing bounties, will we push back, will we not? In most cases they want to know if mom and dad care enough, or they going to back down? My children are all grown, all graduated simarnay, my oldest daughter and youngest son served missions. My advice just tell you son in most loving voice you can...you "might" stop going to Church when you are 18, but we have two years to prepare for that discussion. Now that missions can start at 18, maybe is worried about the speed at which the future is coming at him. But right now you are dad, and responsible for where he is to be...especially that time of morning.

When this dust up settles, and it will have hi's and low's, you will be able if greater problems are underlying this for now. Hope this helps.