The caricature: Mormons wishing to "get their own planet"?

[webbles]

9 minutes ago, marineland said:

Every male God will have his own planet then?

No, we (male and female) all live on the celestial Earth.

[bluebell]

33 minutes ago, marineland said:

Which of the provided teachings by the OP were worded as speculation or opinion?

Is this the same for General Conference sermons in our era - the speakers are giving
speculation and opinion?

None of them. Like I said, they taught it as doctrine. 

[Notatbm]

4 hours ago, webbles said:

You were talking about after resurrection.  That's why it is a caricature.  You are picking several things, taking them to the most extreme reading, and then putting them together to make a really bad caricature even though none of them were ever put that way together and they don't even logically go together except as a caricature.  Since you actually know what we believe, you would know that we believe we are far older than our earth years.  So after we are dead, we will remember our original age.  And we will all be well over 18 years old.  Plus your "hot young wife" might even be older than you.

About one paragraph later, it says:

And then a few paragraphs later it also says:

So, did you actually read that article?

So where does it say there will be no young girls? It says if a juvenile girl dies, she is resurrected and her mother gets to raise her to maturity. Precedence has been set that a 12 year old girl is "Mature" enough to bear children so I'm thinking juvenile girls who die will be resurrected, raised by mom I suppose and then at "maturity" (which is probably pretty damn young if any of our prophets have any say in it) and married off to the most competitive Melchizedek priesthood holder so they can get to work on populating their own world.  

I'll give you this though...some teen can die and be raised to maturity even though she is old as time, but look 14... So yea she may be older but I doubt any of these guys are gonna be picking some geriatric out of the crowd to have spiritual babies with. 

We know the mentality as Nelson showed us the way. He married a second wife who is 26 years his junior. Why not someone closer to his own age than someone who was more likely to be his daughter's buddy lol? these guys kill me. 

[Notatbm]

2 hours ago, marineland said:

Every male God will have his own planet then?

Supposedly... He is gonna have to have a wife though. This cat lady is up for grabs apparently:
 

 

[The Nehor]

3 hours ago, Notatbm said:

So where does it say there will be no young girls? It says if a juvenile girl dies, she is resurrected and her mother gets to raise her to maturity. Precedence has been set that a 12 year old girl is "Mature" enough to bear children so I'm thinking juvenile girls who die will be resurrected, raised by mom I suppose and then at "maturity" (which is probably pretty damn young if any of our prophets have any say in it) and married off to the most competitive Melchizedek priesthood holder so they can get to work on populating their own world.  

I'll give you this though...some teen can die and be raised to maturity even though she is old as time, but look 14... So yea she may be older but I doubt any of these guys are gonna be picking some geriatric out of the crowd to have spiritual babies with. 

We know the mentality as Nelson showed us the way. He married a second wife who is 26 years his junior. Why not someone closer to his own age than someone who was more likely to be his daughter's buddy lol? these guys kill me. 

You are deeply weird.

[webbles]

4 hours ago, Notatbm said:

So where does it say there will be no young girls? It says if a juvenile girl dies, she is resurrected and her mother gets to raise her to maturity. Precedence has been set that a 12 year old girl is "Mature" enough to bear children so I'm thinking juvenile girls who die will be resurrected, raised by mom I suppose and then at "maturity" (which is probably pretty damn young if any of our prophets have any say in it) and married off to the most competitive Melchizedek priesthood holder so they can get to work on populating their own world.  

I'll give you this though...some teen can die and be raised to maturity even though she is old as time, but look 14... So yea she may be older but I doubt any of these guys are gonna be picking some geriatric out of the crowd to have spiritual babies with. 

We know the mentality as Nelson showed us the way. He married a second wife who is 26 years his junior. Why not someone closer to his own age than someone who was more likely to be his daughter's buddy lol? these guys kill me. 

Your speculation is fascinating but it is pure speculation.  So, as long as you say it is speculation and what you are hoping for in the hereafter, sure.  But to say that it is what the church teaches or what members believe or what we expect is wrong.  It is your own beliefs that are sneaking through.  And that is where the caricature comes from.  You are taking extremes of the ideas and turning it into a caricature of your own fantasy.

You are right it doesn't say there are no young girls.  It also doesn't mention anything about "maturity" (what does that even mean for a person who has lived millions of years) or "geriatric" (what does that mean for a resurrected being).  People have speculated what Joseph meant and that is what it is, speculation.  But the most information we have about it is that he was trying to comfort a grieving mother and tell her that she will be able to see or raise her child in the here after.  Nothing to do with marriage or "maturity".  You are the first person I've ever heard that decided that this meant that there will be teenage weddings in the Celestial Kingdom.  The connection between the two is extremely faint in my view and the only reason to connect them is to make a caricature.

[JLHPROF]

8 hours ago, marineland said:

Every male God will have his own planet then?

Actually what it implies is that the Father acted as a Savior to a previous creation and inherited his own Earth.

What did Christ say? He does nothing except that which the Father had done.

[Calm]

1 hour ago, webbles said:

Your speculation is fascinating

Seriously?

1 hour ago, webbles said:

what you are hoping for in the hereafter, sure.

That would explain his apparent fixation.

 

Edited yesterday at 05:07 AM by Calm

[Gabe Pakulski]

I, Personally, Would love to have my own planet. I could think of something akin to Jupiter, or Nepune. Neptune would be beautiful and crab - like creatures could live of the surface, but jupiter is larger but has a red dot - would not like that!!! Anyway though, seriously would apresh a planet

[OnTheKirb Associations]

WoWW crazy thought! I always wanted my own planet. Sometimes mops calls me sunshine so i think i have an orbit so maybe i have my own planet. But i dont think that the earth goes around the sun if we break the glass above we die because of the water! But i think so. God would love to see us in space because we have to go to space if we want to get there! Thank you, and YOU. Are welcome.

[OnTheKirb Associations]

On 7/8/2026 at 5:18 PM, The Nehor said:

I just wanted a pet T-Rex.

me too man. me too. 

[Peacefully]

I was assured by my friend, who introduced me to the church, that I would get my own planet. Talk about a bait and switch, lol. 

[teddyaware]

Among the sacred promises made to the faithful in the Book of Revelation is found the right to be crowned and enthroned as eternal heavenly kings, royal priests who are empowered to rule nations with a rod of iron while seated upon the very throne of God. Is it more reasonable to believe that these holy promises are going to find their fulfillment on planets like our own, or does it make more sense that God will reject the idea of planets, even though he made and populated this one, and that the promises will be fulfilled while everyone is floating around in empty space? Why does it seem so silly and far fetched to believe that this world isn’t the only planet that ever has been or ever will be populated by the sons and daughters of God? 

21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne. (Revelation 3)

24 That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God. (Doctrines and Covenants 76)

54 They are they who are the church of the Firstborn.

55 They are they into whose hands the Father has given ALL things—

56 They are they who are priests and kings, who have received of his fulness, and of his glory;

57 And are priests of the Most High, after the order of Melchizedek, which was after the order of Enoch, which was after the order of the Only Begotten Son.

58 Wherefore, as it is written, they are gods even the sons of God — (Doctrines and Covenants 76)

 

Edited yesterday at 01:32 PM by teddyaware

[The Nehor]

2 hours ago, teddyaware said:

Among the sacred promises made to the faithful in the Book of Revelation is found the right to be crowned and enthroned as eternal heavenly kings, royal priests who are empowered to rule nations with a rod of iron while seated upon the very throne of God. Is it more reasonable to believe that these holy promises are going to find their fulfillment on planets like our own, or does it make more sense that God will reject the idea of planets, even though he made and populated this one, and that the promises will be fulfilled while everyone is floating around in empty space? Why does it seem so silly and far fetched to believe that this world isn’t the only planet that ever has been or ever will be populated by the sons and daughters of God? 

21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne. (Revelation 3)

24 That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God. (Doctrines and Covenants 76)

54 They are they who are the church of the Firstborn.

55 They are they into whose hands the Father has given ALL things—

56 They are they who are priests and kings, who have received of his fulness, and of his glory;

57 And are priests of the Most High, after the order of Melchizedek, which was after the order of Enoch, which was after the order of the Only Begotten Son.

58 Wherefore, as it is written, they are gods even the sons of God — (Doctrines and Covenants 76)

 

I would trust it more if the writer of Revelation had focused more on how the happy afterlife worked and less on his extended and elaborate revenge fantasy that makes up way too much of the text.

Also brought us the gift of hell which wasn’t a thing in very early Christianity.

Edited yesterday at 03:46 PM by The Nehor

[Notatbm]

11 hours ago, webbles said:

You are right it doesn't say there are no young girls.  It also doesn't mention anything about "maturity" ….

You must have already forgotten your response to me where you bolded the “maturity” I’m referencing. 
 

 21 hours ago, webbles said:

And then a few paragraphs later it also says:

Quote

Children will come forth from the grave as children, be raised to maturity by worthy parents, and be entitled to receive all of the ordinances of salvation that eventuate in the everlasting continuation of the family unit.

So, did you actually read that article

[Notatbm]

11 hours ago, webbles said:

Your speculation is fascinating but it is pure speculation.  So, as long as you say it is speculation and what you are hoping for in the hereafter, sure.  

I have already expressed the disclaimer that I won’t be there so it isn’t anything I’m hoping for. It is exactly what our prophets would hope for as evidenced by their own practices while leading g the church. Many of them really liked young girls. 
 

https://missedinsunday.com/memes/polygamy/teen-brides-of-early-mormon-prophets/

 

[Notatbm]

13 hours ago, The Nehor said:

You are deeply weird.

How so??? None of this is my idea, it’s all quotes and past practices of Mormon prophets. You know the people we are told to follow because they will not lead us astray.. 

[The Nehor]

11 minutes ago, Notatbm said:

How so??? None of this is my idea, it’s all quotes and past practices of Mormon prophets. You know the people we are told to follow because they will not lead us astray.. 

Because you are trying to do satire but don’t have or aren’t using the humor or sense of the absurd needed to pull it off.

It just comes across as clumsy and as you being really fixated on young brides. It is monomania. If you want to satirize prophetic marriage practices you should also be more holistic. There is plenty of material there to play with.

[Notatbm]

9 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

Because you are trying to do satire but don’t have or aren’t using the humor or sense of the absurd needed to pull it off.

It just comes across as clumsy and as you being really fixated on young brides. It is monomania. If you want to satirize prophetic marriage practices you should also be more holistic. There is plenty of material there to play with.

I’m fixated on young brides??? lol who went out and married them? It wasn’t normal back then and the caricature is of the church’s creation. 

 

[The Nehor]

52 minutes ago, Notatbm said:

I’m fixated on young brides??? lol who went out and married them? It wasn’t normal back then and the caricature is of the church’s creation. 

I don’t think you know what a caricature is.

[webbles]

8 hours ago, Notatbm said:

You must have already forgotten your response to me where you bolded the “maturity” I’m referencing. 

I really don't think you read the article or even know much about what Joseph and others said about children being raised in the after life.  That quote that you are pointing to is from the article, yes, but is not from what Joseph said or from any other authority.  That is from the author of the article itself.

8 hours ago, Notatbm said:

I have already expressed the disclaimer that I won’t be there so it isn’t anything I’m hoping for. It is exactly what our prophets would hope for as evidenced by their own practices while leading g the church. Many of them really liked young girls. 

Sorry, none of that shows any hope or evidence that they think that is what will happen in the hereafter.  Yes, I know that many man had younger wives.  It was not a very common practice but did happen through out the United States and was acceptable (I did a fun deep dive into the US census and statistics a while back to look at that).  But to say that they taught or believed or even speculated that they would have 'teen-brides' in the Celestial Kingdom is pure speculation on your part.  The very concept of a "teen-bride" makes no sense in the Celestial Kingdom.  You have yet to show any evidence that that is an idea from anywhere except from your own personal ideas.  So, no, your caricature is just a really poorly thought out caricature.

[Notatbm]

18 minutes ago, webbles said:

I really don't think you read the article or even know much about what Joseph and others said about children being raised in the after life.  That quote that you are pointing to is from the article, yes, but is not from what Joseph said or from any other authority.  That is from the author of the article itself.

Sorry, none of that shows any hope or evidence that they think that is what will happen in the hereafter.  Yes, I know that many man had younger wives.  It was not a very common practice but did happen through out the United States and was acceptable (I did a fun deep dive into the US census and statistics a while back to look at that).  But to say that they taught or believed or even speculated that they would have 'teen-brides' in the Celestial Kingdom is pure speculation on your part.  The very concept of a "teen-bride" makes no sense in the Celestial Kingdom.  You have yet to show any evidence that that is an idea from anywhere except from your own personal ideas.  So, no, your caricature is just a really poorly thought out caricature.

Me thinks you are taking this “offense” a bit too seriously but you do you

[Notatbm]

32 minutes ago, webbles said:

Sorry, none of that shows any hope or evidence that they think that is what will happen in the hereafter.  Yes, I know that many man had younger wives.  

Very much younger… 

 

[webbles]

48 minutes ago, Notatbm said:

Very much younger… 

 

That is not actually abnormal for the US.  Yes, it doesn't fit the average, but there are other men and women with that same age gap at the same time.  As I mentioned, I did a deep dive into the census of the time period.  Here's a link to a post I made about the numbers.  Teenage women marrying men several decades older than them was not unique to Utah but happened in several other states.  In fact, if the census is to be believed, there were 13 year olds married to 50 year olds.  Utah itself was fairly close to the average if not above the average.

[Calm]

9 minutes ago, webbles said:

That is not actually abnormal for the US.  Yes, it doesn't fit the average, but there are other men and women with that same age gap at the same time.  As I mentioned, I did a deep dive into the census of the time period.  Here's a link to a post I made about the numbers.  Teenage women marrying men several decades older than them was not unique to Utah but happened in several other states.  In fact, if the census is to be believed, there were 13 year olds married to 50 year olds.  Utah itself was fairly close to the average if not above the average.

What made Nauvoo and the Utah territory unusual was the plural marriage, which was certainly unusual enough.

The range of the age of brides coupled with the age gap was not so unusual in and of itself.  

Of course when you have an older man who already had an older wife who then takes a young wife as well, that does add a connotation to it that is definitely not there with a simple traditional marriage between an old man and a young wife.

My memory of the appearance of age in the resurrection is that it was taught minors would grow to their full stature and then stop at the place all others were at, which suggests full development, full maturity, in their prime years, which earliest would be 20s, it seems to me.  I will see if I can find the reference. 

Edited 19 hours ago by Calm