New Book on Polygamy

[The Nehor]

12 minutes ago, Ipod Touch said:

I'm glad we are finally discussing an idea that seems taboo: women are just as depraved and evil as men.

I mean, 1/2 of all serial killers are women.

1/2 of all child abusers are women.

1/2 of all spouse abusers are women.

Oh wait...

Most serial killers are dealing with a sexual urge or quasi-sexual urge that is rarely found in women due to simple hormonal differences. If you take those out of the equation you are left with a more closely balanced ratio that usually involves some other malady such as psychopathy. Interestingly though, if a child in the United States is killed between the ages of 0 and 7 the mother is more likely to be the killer than the father. After that age they switch.

There are more CPS cases involving the abuse or neglect of children against mothers than against fathers. There are factors that make this assessment less damning than it sounds but it is one data point suggesting your assessment is wrong.

Physical spousal abuse is one area where men have a genetic advantage. The question of how many spouse abusers would be of each gender if one did not have an advantage in size and muscle mass is a question we can’t answer. There is one interesting point though. Data on rates of abuse in lesbian relationships are limited but the data we do have suggests that the rate of abuse is roughly in the same ballpark as heterosexual rates. It suggests that women are violent at roughly the same rate if they think they can ‘win’. It is weak evidence and there are all kinds of reservations we should take into consideration before jumping to conclusions but it also suggests that women are intrinsically capable of being violent at somewhere near the same rate as men. This also ignores things like emotional, financial, and other forms of abuse that can be perpetrated more equally but are also much more difficult to identify and police generally do not show up in these cases.

If a woman would beat her husband if she thought it would work and a man does beat his wife is one of those people more virtuous?

[Tacenda]

1 hour ago, Ipod Touch said:

I'm glad we are finally discussing an idea that seems taboo: women are just as depraved and evil as men.

I mean, 1/2 of all serial killers are women.

1/2 of all child abusers are women.

1/2 of all spouse abusers are women.

Oh wait...

No need to wait. Women abuse their husbands all.the.time. A lot of men don't want to fight back because they have been taught to never hit a woman, and then there's mental abuse, often that's worse than the physical. And men are afraid to tell anyone. Just like women are afraid to say something. 

Edited August 7, 2021 by Tacenda

[Tacenda]

4 hours ago, Calm said:

When I was in 6th grade, I lived for 4 months in the middle of the school year with my grandmother. When I came back, I was ignored for the next year and a half until we moved even by my supposedly best friend who lived next door and who had been in and out of my home for the 4 years we had lived there (granted we were friends more because of location than personality, but it was still weird***).  That was when I shifted to being terminally shy. Sitting alone at school suddenly when before I was included was a major shock to the emotional system. I lost faith in myself, thought I just wasn’t interesting enough.  Still get flashes of that, still can’t invite myself to join in with whatever a crowd I am with is doing, still wait for the invite to be a part of it even when I see no one else needing one. 
 

When we went to Russia for a semester, when my son (8th grade) came back it was like he had never left. 

***What was even more weird to me was later after we had moved out to California from Illinois, she came out to visit relatives and wanted to visit with me as well. Or maybe her family suggested it. Whatever reason, she expressed that she was hurt I hadn’t kept much in touch with her (a few letters at most) or shown much interest in her life, like her relationship with her boyfriend (who had been in both of our minds a real jerk before the time at Grandma’s, so I was actually restraining myself from saying ‘why are you lowering yourself?’).  
 

That she saw me as the one not interested…I now know that is pretty typical, but I wasn’t the one who had no longer moved over to make space at lunch and I wasn’t about to forget that. 

Thanks for both of your posts about your experience with "mean girls". Or, uncaring people. I don't feel as alone, knowing someone else went through it, and how you have felt the after affects ever since. Or how it altered both our lives. Something seemingly minor definitely can have lasting affects on our psyche. 

Edited August 7, 2021 by Tacenda

[Ipod Touch]

5 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

Women abuse their husbands all.the.time.

I'm old fashioned, but any adult man who puts up with being abused by anyone -- man or woman -- isn't much of a man.  Part of being a man is standing up for yourself and having enough self respect to get out of toxic situations.  

5 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

They have it worse, a lot of men don't want to fight back because they have been taught to never hit a woman, and then there's mental abuse, often that's worse than the physical.

A man should never hit a woman.  

 

[Calm]

9 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

Women abuse their husbands all.the.time.

 

Quote

The concept of women using intimate partner violence (IPV) was discounted in the 1970s and 1980s because of limited data, concerns about shifting funding away from women’s victimization, and recognition that women are more likely than men to be injured from IPV (Steinmetz, 1980). Since this time, increasing numbers of women have been arrested for IPV due to new mandatory arrest policies (DeLeon-Granados, Wells, & Binsbacher, 2006; Miller, 2005). In part because of these arrests, attention has magnified, and a growing number of publications have explored women’s IPV.

 

Quote

In a meta-analysis of studies comparing men’s and women’s use of IPV, Archer (2000)concluded that women were significantly more likely to have ever used physical IPV and to have used IPV more frequently.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2994556/

[Calm]

15 minutes ago, Ipod Touch said:

I'm old fashioned, but any adult man who puts up with being abused by anyone -- man or woman -- isn't much of a man.  Part of being a man is standing up for yourself and having enough self respect to get out of toxic situations.  

A man should never hit a woman.  

 

Why do people act as if this is an honorable rule for men or as if it is a different rule for women, as if it is socially acceptable for women to hit anyone when it is not?

A man has a perfect right to hit a woman if she is actually threatening his life…like pulling a knife on him.  There is nothing noble about letting a criminal hurt you, even if the criminal is a minute woman or even a girl.

A woman should never hit a man for any reason other than the same for a man hitting a woman…self defense. And then it should be the bare minimum needed in order to escape…if one can escape without going in attack, that needs to be first choice. 
 

Except under controlled circumstances such as in self defense classes and sports (though I believe some contact sports that have common head injuries leading to brain damage should be illegal or at least modified to cause less brain injury).

Is there any man here that was about to hit a woman and stopped himself because he thought a real man would never strike a woman?  Rather than just thinking violence is wrong?  I really hope not. I think if that ‘gentleman’s rule’ is something that restrains a man from being violent with a woman, better than nothing, but I think that guy has issues he should be dealing with. 

Edited August 7, 2021 by Calm

[Ipod Touch]

11 minutes ago, Calm said:

Why do people act as if this is an honorable rule for men or as if it is a different rule for women, as if it is socially acceptable for women to hit anyone when it is not?

Because men are immensely stronger than women.  And unless a woman hits you with a frying pan or crowbar, it is more annoying than anything else.  Men should never hit women because there exists a massive physical power imbalance and good men know that they should never exploit that imbalance.

 

11 minutes ago, Calm said:

A man has a perfect right to hit a woman if she is actually threatening his life…like pulling a knife on him.  There is nothing noble about letting a criminal hurt you, even if the criminal is a minute woman or even a girl.

Reductio ad absurdum. No one is suggesting that a man should not resist *deadly* force.  So sure, if a woman pulls a deadly weapon, laying her out is probably a good idea.

11 minutes ago, Calm said:

A woman should never hit a man for any reason other than the same for a man hitting a woman…self defense.

Meh.  Check out this video.  You will see that a couple if arguing and the woman hits the man.  This is a minor inconvenience for him.  But like a loser, he decides that knocking her teeth out is the right thing to do. Self defense amirite?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1297466/Shocking-video-shows-man-punching-girlfriend-floor.html

Real men never lay their hands on a woman.  Even if she "hits" you first.

Edited August 7, 2021 by Ipod Touch

[Calm]

Just now, Ipod Touch said:

Self defense amirite?

No, it is not.  Please don’t pretend I am advocating that. 

[Calm]

1 minute ago, Ipod Touch said:

No one is suggesting that a man should not resist *deadly* force. 

Good. Sometimes it seems like some are. 

[Calm]

3 minutes ago, Ipod Touch said:

Men should never hit women because there exists a massive physical power imbalance and good men know that they should never exploit that imbalance.

I have been hit by a number of men, including with a metal bar. And they were not the least reluctant to use their superior strength. And I thanked them for it. Karate and fencing class. Context matters. 

Edited August 7, 2021 by Calm

[Ipod Touch]

Another example of why men should never hit women.  Here you have a man pretending to be a woman getting into the right and breaking a real women's skull.

But sure, both men and women have the same capacity to wreak physical havoc.

 

[Ipod Touch]

4 minutes ago, Calm said:

No, it is not.  Please don’t pretend I am advocating that. 

Well she hit him first, no?  If there is no difference between men and women, he has no reason to hold back.

But there is a difference between men and women.  And men need to behave as such.

[Calm]

Serious question. In what case would it be okay to hit a man with appropriate strength where it wouldn’t be okay to hit a woman. I have already given one case where it seems okay to me…martial arts practice and sports. 
 

Domestic violence…a son or father hitting another male in the family if not to protect oneself in a very limited way, is that ever okay?  If not…Then why phrase it as never okay to hit a woman when it is really never okay to hit anyone?

[Calm]

1 hour ago, Ipod Touch said:

But sure, both men and women have the same capacity to wreak physical havoc.

Straw man. 
 

I am out of the conversation if my qualifications on my comments are being ignored. 
 

Domestic violence is one of the topics I am not going to play games with. 

Edited August 7, 2021 by Calm

[The Nehor]

27 minutes ago, Ipod Touch said:

I'm old fashioned, but any adult man who puts up with being abused by anyone -- man or woman -- isn't much of a man.  Part of being a man is standing up for yourself and having enough self respect to get out of toxic situations.  

Victim blaming! We missed you.

9 minutes ago, Ipod Touch said:

Real men….

As opposed to those with an XY chromosome set that don’t fit your description?

Don’t stop, keep going. I have almost got a Bingo on my Toxic Masculinity card.

[Calm]

Just to be clear, I am not saying it isn’t honorable to believe it isn’t right for a man to hit a woman, it is just more honorable imo to have the rule never to hit anyone.***

added:  every man offline who has told me they have the rule they would never hit a woman would also never hit a man in anger or maliciousness or with the intent to harm.  Their actual rule is “a man never hits another human being”.  I think it would convey a much better message if they taught avoiding violence that way rather than limiting it to women because that implies it may be okay to be violent with a man, violence between and towards men is okay…so women or another man physically abusing a man may be brushed off as no big deal and the blame may be put on the man for not standing up for himself, when it is a big red flag something is wrong in that relationship and the cops should be called immediately.

***except in the case of real, true self defense when one can’t walk away because the person is attacking you and even then only the minimum level of violence needed to stop the attack…no cracking skulls when a simple pushing away works, for example.  Rationalization that it is okay to put someone in the hospital because you were slapped or pushed against the wall is criminal, imo. 

Edited August 7, 2021 by Calm

[mfbukowski]

2 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Most serial killers are dealing with a sexual urge or quasi-sexual urge that is rarely found in women due to simple hormonal differences. If you take those out of the equation you are left with a more closely balanced ratio that usually involves some other malady such as psychopathy

"IF you take those out of the equation...."

Don't you see that's the whole point?

How do you get them out of the MAN? People are not equations 

[mfbukowski]

1 hour ago, Ipod Touch said:

I'm old fashioned, but any adult man who puts up with being abused by anyone -- man or woman -- isn't much of a man.  Part of being a man is standing up for yourself and having enough self respect to get out of toxic situations.  

A man should never hit a woman.  

 

Oh good.

Someone even more offensive than me!

Now I can get out the popcorn 

[SeekingUnderstanding]

3 hours ago, Ipod Touch said:

I'm glad we are finally discussing an idea that seems taboo: women are just as depraved and evil as men.

I mean, 1/2 of all serial killers are women.

1/2 of all child abusers are women.

1/2 of all spouse abusers are women.

Oh wait...

I’m glad we are all reading the same thread. Oh wait… you apparently don’t know how to read or are just willfully misrepresenting what’s being said here. Let me guess, you’re male!?

Edited August 7, 2021 by SeekingUnderstanding

[Ipod Touch]

 

1 hour ago, The Nehor said:

Victim blaming! We missed you.

As opposed to those with an XY chromosome set that don’t fit your description?

Don’t stop, keep going. I have almost got a Bingo on my Toxic Masculinity card.

Dude, you are the one playing the MRA "wOmeN AbusE mEn ToO" card. 

 

[Ipod Touch]

3 minutes ago, SeekingUnderstanding said:

Let me guess, your male!?

I'm a POC you racist.

 

[JLHPROF]

😂 How is this thread not locked?

[Ipod Touch]

35 minutes ago, mfbukowski said:

Someone even more offensive than me!

What clown world do we inhabit where this is offensive?  In our society men have both the physical and economic freedom to get free of any situation.  Women do not have this luxury as men can, and too often do, physically intimidate or harm them.  Add to that that Women are expected to be the primary caregivers for Children, and there is a double whammy.  It is infinitely more difficult for a woman to remove herself from an abusive situation.  Men simply do not face these same challenges.  And no self-respecting man allows himself to be abused -- by anyone.  And if he is allowing it, he needs to get therapy and learn to get his act together.

[SeekingUnderstanding]

2 hours ago, Ipod Touch said:

any adult man who puts up with being abused by anyone -- man or woman -- isn't much of a man. 

And we are supposed to look to you for some sort of wisdom?

 

5 minutes ago, Ipod Touch said:

I'm a POC you racist.

 

Truly you have a dizzying intellect too!

[Ipod Touch]

 

1 hour ago, The Nehor said:

Bingo on my Toxic Masculinity card

If "Toxic Masculinity" means that men should have self-respect, education, and a job, then i'm all for it. 

Also, I heard that there may be a shortage of soy milk due to the Delta surge.  I hope you will be ok.