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A possible life outside mormonism

AtlanticMike

By AtlanticMike
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JLHPROF Grand Master

JLHPROF

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, AtlanticMike said:

.I've used these two to help me see what it might be like if I was to choose a life for my family outside the church. And one thing that has really stuck out to me is, most people who leave the church seem to also change their political views once they leave. Not a lot scares me, but I rather  vulgarity removed by moderator than change my political views. 

I find this prioritization interesting.  You'd consider a life outside the Church but you wouldn't want to change your political views?

Personally I'd be the opposite.  I'd be happy to consider shifting on the political spectrum, but I hold my religious beliefs far more tightly in my life.

Maybe it's just me but politics are temporal, the gospel eternal.  I know where I'm open to change.

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Meadowchik Grand Master

Meadowchik

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Peacefully said:

My husband and I are in the Ft. Worth area if you need anything. 

((We were in Ft Worth before we moved abroad. Maybe you helped us pack up our house :)))

AtlanticMike Mentor

AtlanticMike

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Tacenda said:

But I am the loneliest I've ever been, and miss the associations that were had in the ward I use to live in.

Dang it!! This ⬆️ makes me sad, if you need me to write anything in the sand this week just ask😁, I don't want you to be sad. I'll even mail you some beach sand if you want, maybe a couple sea shells, that way you can smell the ocean.😂😂

2 hours ago, Tacenda said:

I missed you!

I missed you to, I always look forward to your post. You're a smart women.

Edited by AtlanticMike
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AtlanticMike Mentor

AtlanticMike

Posted
  • Author
Posted
2 hours ago, JLHPROF said:

I find this prioritization interesting.  You'd consider a life outside the Church but you wouldn't want to change your political views?

Correct. But five months ago I would of never considered questioning my religious views, never. 

    

2 hours ago, JLHPROF said:

Personally I'd be the opposite.  I'd be happy to consider shifting on the political spectrum, but I hold my religious beliefs far more tightly in my life.

 I understand what you're saying. 

2 hours ago, JLHPROF said:

Maybe it's just me but politics are temporal, the gospel eternal

I agree with you 100 percent

1
jkwilliams Grand Master

jkwilliams

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, AtlanticMike said:

Correct. But five months ago I would of never considered questioning my religious views, never. 

    

 I understand what you're saying. 

I agree with you 100 percent

I can’t speak for anyone else, but my political beliefs haven’t changed that much, except for social issues that I think were based more on church teachings than my own feelings and thoughts. 

Peacefully Grand Master

Peacefully

Posted
Posted
21 minutes ago, Meadowchik said:

((We were in Ft Worth before we moved abroad. Maybe you helped us pack up our house :)))

I wish I could say I did but we’ve only been here for two years and I haven’t helped anyone pack:) Although I was born in Ft. Worth, the majority of my adult life was spent in Arlington, TX. When did you move? 

1
Robert F. Smith Grand Master

Robert F. Smith

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, AtlanticMike said:

Usually when something in my life becomes a problem, in this case a faith crisis, I'll find a solution really quick then attack the problem until I've defeated it and I can see it in my rearview mirror. I've chosen to take a different approach this time regarding the church and its teachings so I can really study out in my mind if the teachings of the church are a positive or negative influence on my family's life. In the past few months I've probably listened to well over 100 hours of Mormon stories podcast and read thousands of post on exmormon Reddit. I've used these two to help me see what it might be like if I was to choose a life for my family outside the church. And one thing that has really stuck out to me is, most people who leave the church seem to also change their political views once they leave. Not a lot scares me, but I rather  vulgarity removed by moderator than change my political views. So my question to you guys is, in your experience personally, or maybe with family members leaving the church, what are some of the main challenges / changes a member might face leaving the church? Also for any ex-mormons / Mormons in your experience, if someone decides to leave the church, will the rest of their life be consumed with always researching church doctrine and teachings to try to justify exiting a religion they probably grew up in?

Most people are not Mormon, and they manage to live their own lives quite well.  So the real question is What lifestyle strikes your fancy?  Do you want to be an urbane gentleman, or a rude, crude, and vulgar roustabout?  Or something in between?  You must exercise your free agency.  It is your decision.  No one can make that decision for you.

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Meadowchik Grand Master

Meadowchik

Posted
Posted
52 minutes ago, Peacefully said:

I wish I could say I did but we’ve only been here for two years and I haven’t helped anyone pack:) Although I was born in Ft. Worth, the majority of my adult life was spent in Arlington, TX. When did you move? 

I grew up in Mesquite. My parents are in Arlington now, and we left DFW in 2008. It was an unexpected move just after we bought half a cow of meat! So we enjoyed passing out roasts to the ward members who helped.

4
mrmarklin Experienced

mrmarklin

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, The Nehor said:

A side-effect of spending times on venues where people gnaw on old grievances about their old faith is that you will run into a disproportionate number of gnawers.

I don’t know why any normal person would leave the Church. It’s a great way to live. Our beliefs are simple. Everything taught is to the benefit of us remaining with our families, and returning to the greater family of God. This has been taught since the beginning of the restoration. And is the impetus to build temples so we can be sealed to our families, and covenant with God so we are ultimately sealed to Him. 
God created the Church so we can return to Him, and bring our children with us. There is nothing else.

Grievances about supposed bad acts of past and current Church leaders are just excuses to not follow the program.  But make no mistake, all our leaders have been always pointed in the direction of preserving families. 

1
jkwilliams Grand Master

jkwilliams

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, mrmarklin said:

I don’t know why any normal person would leave the Church. It’s a great way to live. Our beliefs are simple. Everything taught is to the benefit of us remaining with our families, and returning to the greater family of God. This has been taught since the beginning of the restoration. And is the impetus to build temples so we can be sealed to our families, and covenant with God so we are ultimately sealed to Him. 
God created the Church so we can return to Him, and bring our children with us. There is nothing else.

Grievances about supposed bad acts of past and current Church leaders are just excuses to not follow the program.  But make no mistake, all our leaders have been always pointed in the direction of preserving families. 

It’s pretty easy to judge things you have not experienced. 

1
AtlanticMike Mentor

AtlanticMike

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
29 minutes ago, Robert F. Smith said:

Most people are not Mormon, and they manage to live their own lives quite well.  So the real question is What lifestyle strikes your fancy?  Do you want to be an urbane gentleman, or a rude, crude, and vulgar roustabout?  Or something in between?  You must exercise your free agency.  It is your decision.  No one can make that decision for you.

Can I be a roustabout gentlemen that enjoys being rude, crude and vulgar toward the urbane😂. Just kidding Robert, thanks for chiming in. I understand it's my decision, I'm not looking for someone to make a decision for me, just asking for opinions and seeing if others have had similar experiences.

Thanks for teaching me a new word, I had to look roustabout up, your my hero😁

Edited by AtlanticMike
1
Robert F. Smith Grand Master

Robert F. Smith

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Meadowchik said:

One of the good things about reddit and other places where people vent is that they can do so anonymously without aiming their grief at their close friends and family. Having that as an outlet to let off steam can help to keep real-life relationships more civil. It can also help to maintain a level personal perspective .

One thing I have noticed about exmo reddit especially is that people cycle in and out. 

If a person leaves any tightly-knit community where there are social consequences for leaving, imo they will most likely experience an "angry phase." And if their previous community did not have a healthy way of processing anger, the leaver will experience a steep learning curve as they begin to learn how to process that anger.

Regarding politics, in my experience, learning how deeply my political views were impacted by faulty ideas from Ezra Taft Benson was like a second faith crisis. It was also devastating. 

It is so sad that many Mormons confuse religion and politics.  A faith crisis based on such nonsense misses the whole point of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

1
mrmarklin Experienced

mrmarklin

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, jkwilliams said:

It’s pretty easy to judge things you have not experienced. 

You have no idea of my experiences. But I’ve lived long enough and interacted with enough people that I know that being an active member of the church is a very good way to live. 
I live in a very cosmopolitan area and have seen a lot. 

1
jkwilliams Grand Master

jkwilliams

Posted
Posted
Just now, mrmarklin said:

You have no idea of my experiences. But I’ve lived long enough and interacted with enough people that I know that being an active member of the church is a very good way to live. 
I live in a very cosmopolitan area and have seen a lot. 

You said you can’t imagine why a “normal” person would leave the church. How should that judgmental statement be interpreted?

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The Nehor Grand Master

The Nehor

Posted
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Posted
1 minute ago, jkwilliams said:

You said you can’t imagine why a “normal” person would leave the church. How should that judgmental statement be interpreted?

I am still confused as to how normal people get in the church in the first place.

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jkwilliams Grand Master

jkwilliams

Posted
Posted
Just now, The Nehor said:

I am still confused as to how normal people get in the church in the first place.

You’re not normal, and you’re in the church. I’m not normal, either, and I’m pretty much out. So, it happens. 

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