Sky Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 The thread about attending a SS wedding got me wondering: Hypothetical scenario: If you were a strict evangelical Christian or part of some other religious tradition not-too-fond of Mormonism, would you attend the wedding reception of an LDS friend or family member? Would you be willing to show your support by waiting outside the temple? Would you send them a card or give them a gift? Or would you view your participation in any form as a tacit endorsement of their faith tradition? My answer is that I don't know if I could support it or not. I'd like to think I would, but would I?
Robert F. Smith Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 I recall twice waiting outside the Chief Rabbinate in Jerusalem while friends were interviewed by a rabbinic board prior to conversion to Orthodox Judaism, and I was very supportive. I have also attended non-Mormon weddings and was likewise supportive. I remember one Jewish wedding in Israel in which the whole congregation said "Amen" at the close of each part of the wedding contract -- and I said "Amen" along with them (the Jews say it the way Pres Uchtdorf says it). Also we should all say "mazal tov" when congratulating the new couple. 1
Popular Post sunstoned Posted March 17, 2016 Popular Post Posted March 17, 2016 I officially left the church in December of last year. But I supported my cousin finally during her mission and when she married, I sent her by best wishes and a wedding gift. It does not matter to me what others believe. I try to accept them as who they are, not what flavor of religion they believe in. 5
flameburns623 Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 I don't "strongly disagree" with the LDS Church although I resigned and of course do disagree amicably. Yes I would attend an LDS wedding. 1
sjdawg Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 (edited) I have supported several LDS weddings although I have many issues with the faith and personally believe it has negative impacts on people. I keep my opinions to myself and usually sit the temple visitors center and wait for the wedding party to come out of the Temple. My feelings about the Church have nothing to do with my feeling for my family. Of course I would be there to support them on their big day. Would seem pretty petty not to. I would also attend Catholic weddings, Las Vegas Chapel Weddings, Muslim weddings, gays weddings. I don't have to agree with every part of the day to be happy for the couple. Edited March 17, 2016 by sjdawg
JLHPROF Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Just as with a SSM it would depend on my reason for disagreeing with the LDS faith. If I found them morally wrong I would not support the marriage. If it were just a theological difference I probably would.
sjdawg Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 16 minutes ago, JLHPROF said: Just as with a SSM it would depend on my reason for disagreeing with the LDS faith. If I found them morally wrong I would not support the marriage. If it were just a theological difference I probably would. It isn't my place to put moral judgement on anyone else's relationship. If an adulterer is remarrying after a divorce should I refuse to attend that wedding? If I don't believe the couple are ready for marriage should I skip that marriage? I'm not being asked to give my blessing to the wedding. I'm not being asked to perform the wedding. I'm simply invited by people I love and who love me to attend an event that they believe is significant in their lives. 4
JAHS Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 (edited) .. Edited March 17, 2016 by JAHS wrong thread 1
JLHPROF Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 1 hour ago, sjdawg said: I'm not being asked to give my blessing to the wedding. That's exactly what you are being asked.
The Nehor Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 I have been to weddings I would not bless. Some I thought were doomed or entered into out of lust or were just terrible decisions. 1
Gray Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 32 minutes ago, JLHPROF said: That's exactly what you are being asked. Why do you think that? That's an awful lot of responsibility to put on wedding guests. Most of them are just there for the free food. 2
thesometimesaint Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 1
JLHPROF Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 11 minutes ago, Gray said: Why do you think that? That's an awful lot of responsibility to put on wedding guests. Most of them are just there for the free food. There is a reason many wedding invitations ask you to "join us to celebrate the wedding of..." Not every wedding is worthy of celebration.
CA Steve Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 So as to not start another "Would you attend a wedding if...." thread, I wonder if those of you who feel the reason not to attend a wedding is because you attendance is seen as an endorsement of some sort, would also decline to attend a wedding of a close friend or even a family member just because alcohol was being served? I was in this situation last year with the marriage of my son to a non-LDS girl, and while most of my family attended, there were a few who did not. While I cannot say for sure the reasons for those who did not attend, I suspect for a couple of them, at least, it was because of the presence of alcohol.
JLHPROF Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 (edited) 10 minutes ago, CA Steve said: So as to not start another "Would you attend a wedding if...." thread, I wonder if those of you who feel the reason not to attend a wedding is because you attendance is seen as an endorsement of some sort, would also decline to attend a wedding of a close friend or even a family member just because alcohol was being served? I was in this situation last year with the marriage of my son to a non-LDS girl, and while most of my family attended, there were a few who did not. While I cannot say for sure the reasons for those who did not attend, I suspect for a couple of them, at least, it was because of the presence of alcohol. Reasonable question. I would attend if alcohol was being served. It is not mandatory to drink. I would not attend (or would leave immediately) if I had any sense that drunkenness was to be the order of the day. Christ attended a wedding where not only was wine served, but it was in fact provided by Christ himself. Clearly there is no moral issue with alcohol. However, there is a huge moral issue with drunkenness. Edited March 17, 2016 by JLHPROF 1
BlueDreams Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 10 hours ago, Sky said: The thread about attending a SS wedding got me wondering: Hypothetical scenario: If you were a strict evangelical Christian or part of some other religious tradition not-too-fond of Mormonism, would you attend the wedding reception of an LDS friend or family member? Would you be willing to show your support by waiting outside the temple? Would you send them a card or give them a gift? Or would you view your participation in any form as a tacit endorsement of their faith tradition? My answer is that I don't know if I could support it or not. I'd like to think I would, but would I? Depends how strict I was. I've met some very serious and strict evangelical christians who had troubles allowing me to read from the BoM, wouldn't want me to pray with them because they needed to be careful who they prayed with. There are ones who wouldn't let their kids read Harry Potter....my aunt (who's southern baptist) mentioned this one explaining that it may confuse kids about what's real or some sort of nonsense that made absolutely not sense to me (of course it's not real it's fiction!). So to me, being a strict evangelical would entail having several differing mindsets that I don't currently endorse or believe in. My aunt, I think, went to my mother's wedding, but to be fair they weren't married in a temple so maybe that changed things. But who knows.... I'm a fairly strict mormon in most ways....and yet much of my life would probably be considered more unorthodox or at least unexpected. Someone called me a "liberal mormon" the other day and I was kinda surprised because most of my beliefs wouldn't actually show it (ok, my job and my political leanings aside). My religiosity hasn't changed my capacity to attend just about any other service that I didn't have to show active belief or endorsement. And sometimes it entailed more active participation with a couple of these ceremonies (such as the time a friend blessed us in a Native American based spiritual tradition). My avid curiosity means that I've studied things that most may not feel is kosher to study. I've found space in my LDS belief to allow such and I would hope my curiosity and openness to experiences that may not be my usual cup of tea would continue no matter the faith tradition I pronounced. To me, it's not just about observance to a faith but one's sense of boundaries about what it means to live said faith. Some who may also be considered equally observant and faithful may also have more rigid boundaries than I have....and certain activities would probably feel more complicit, pagan, secular, immoral, etc than I would label it. With luv, BD
smac97 Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 11 hours ago, Sky said: The thread about attending a SS wedding got me wondering: Hypothetical scenario: If you were a strict evangelical Christian or part of some other religious tradition not-too-fond of Mormonism, would you attend the wedding reception of an LDS friend or family member? Would you be willing to show your support by waiting outside the temple? Would you send them a card or give them a gift? Or would you view your participation in any form as a tacit endorsement of their faith tradition? My answer is that I don't know if I could support it or not. I'd like to think I would, but would I? I would happily attend most events of other faith traditions. Not all, but most. I would not attend the Islamic Hajj. I would not attend Daoist "Ji Tong" (Self-Flagellation) ceremonies. I would not attend a "Mormon Fundamentalist" polygamous wedding. I probably would not attend extreme "charismatic" services (snake-handling, rolling the aisles, etc.). I guess I'm saying that I would not attend a religious service if I found the form and content of such a service to be morally inappropriate. This is, I think, very much the exception. Thanks, -Smac
Sleeper Cell Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 (edited) 10 hours ago, sjdawg said: It isn't my place to put moral judgement on anyone else's relationship. If an adulterer is remarrying after a divorce should I refuse to attend that wedding? If I don't believe the couple are ready for marriage should I skip that marriage? I'm not being asked to give my blessing to the wedding. I'm not being asked to perform the wedding. I'm simply invited by people I love and who love me to attend an event that they believe is significant in their lives I suspect that Sir Thomas More would disagree. IIRC, at an early point -- at least in the movie version -- he was offered a way out if he would just attend the wedding. I wonder if “A Man for All Seasons” could even have been made today, let alone receive the Oscar for best picture. Edited March 18, 2016 by Sleeper Cell 1
Jeanne Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 You Bet!! Would be there with bells on if invited.
Jeanne Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 (edited) 11 hours ago, sunstoned said: I officially left the church in December of last year. But I supported my cousin finally during her mission and when she married, I sent her by best wishes and a wedding gift. It does not matter to me what others believe. I try to accept them as who they are, not what flavor of religion they believe in. I also supported a nephew while on a mission. Not a lot ..but what I could. If you throw religion out and just take care of family..what a nice world! And...btw: this family is on my husband's side..they don't want a lot to do with me. Edited March 17, 2016 by Jeanne
Gray Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 2 hours ago, JLHPROF said: There is a reason many wedding invitations ask you to "join us to celebrate the wedding of..." Not every wedding is worthy of celebration. I'm sorry you feel that way.
The Nehor Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 2 hours ago, Gray said: I'm sorry you feel that way. I am not going and giving a gift to a wedding not worthy of celebration because I anticipate the marriage will last six months. I do not want to celebrate it. postscript: In this scenario my prediction was overly optimistic.
Mars Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 4 hours ago, The Nehor said: I am not going and giving a gift to a wedding not worthy of celebration because I anticipate the marriage will last six months. I do not want to celebrate it. postscript: In this scenario my prediction was overly optimistic. you know some very dysfunctional people.
The Nehor Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 9 minutes ago, Mars said: you know some very dysfunctional people. Birds of a feather and all that........... 2
Recommended Posts