Best Answer To The Common Statement In My Home Lately?

[Yirgacheffe]

I have been very grateful to be able to re-read all the comments here.  It is nice to have a fellowship of people who, though different, are united in concern to help one another.

 

I have been wondering too, how much we (we meaning I, really :-)) create so much of the emotion in these scenarios because of our pre-conceptions and desires.  I say this because I had an experience at church with my son (the one we have been discussing here) two Sundays ago.  We were ordaining a new priest in our quorum meeting and invited all the Priests to join in the circle.  My son got up to throw something in the trash and when he went to sit down, the other leaders and quorum guys motioned for him to join the circle.  He looked at me as if to say, I really don't want to.  I looked at him and said "you can join us if you want, son"  and he did. 

 

Afterwards, I asked him how he felt about that.  He said, he still does not have a testimony and only joined in the circle because he felt on the spot. 

 

But even knowing that is why he was in the circle, as a father, I was so happy to have my son participating with me in a priesthood circle.  So why was I happy?  I suppose that really was not "progress" in any way - but my desires colored my reaction.  I wonder how often my disappointment or desires color my emotions when my son expresses lack of desire to remain in the church.  Perhaps if I just kept rational and had faith in my having taught him and in Heavenly Father working on his own timeline, I would suffer a lot less and enjoy a lot more moments...

 

Most of the comments here have strengthened my resolve to be grateful I have a son who is kind and has integrity regardless of where his testimony currently stands.  I am making sure to communicate my love, respect and admiration for him daily.

 

Thank you all for your help and ideas.

 

Phillip

You surely should be grateful for a son like that and keep in mind that this "I wonder how often my disappointment or desires color my emotions" is clearly visible on your face to your son.  And the more frequently you are disappointed by your sons lack of enthusiasm over the church the more frequently he sees negative emotions from you about him. 

[Maestrophil]

You surely should be grateful for a son like that and keep in mind that this "I wonder how often my disappointment or desires color my emotions" is clearly visible on your face to your son.  And the more frequently you are disappointed by your sons lack of enthusiasm over the church the more frequently he sees negative emotions from you about him. 

 

Agreed

[saemo]

I have been very grateful to be able to re-read all the comments here.  It is nice to have a fellowship of people who, though different, are united in concern to help one another.

 

I have been wondering too, how much we (we meaning I, really :-)) create so much of the emotion in these scenarios because of our pre-conceptions and desires.  I say this because I had an experience at church with my son (the one we have been discussing here) two Sundays ago.  We were ordaining a new priest in our quorum meeting and invited all the Priests to join in the circle.  My son got up to throw something in the trash and when he went to sit down, the other leaders and quorum guys motioned for him to join the circle.  He looked at me as if to say, I really don't want to.  I looked at him and said "you can join us if you want, son"  and he did. 

 

Afterwards, I asked him how he felt about that.  He said, he still does not have a testimony and only joined in the circle because he felt on the spot. 

 

But even knowing that is why he was in the circle, as a father, I was so happy to have my son participating with me in a priesthood circle.  So why was I happy?  I suppose that really was not "progress" in any way - but my desires colored my reaction.  I wonder how often my disappointment or desires color my emotions when my son expresses lack of desire to remain in the church.  Perhaps if I just kept rational and had faith in my having taught him and in Heavenly Father working on his own timeline, I would suffer a lot less and enjoy a lot more moments...

 

Most of the comments here have strengthened my resolve to be grateful I have a son who is kind and has integrity regardless of where his testimony currently stands.  I am making sure to communicate my love, respect and admiration for him daily.

 

Thank you all for your help and ideas.

 

Phillip

Your son sounds like me, at his age. I took long lunches, seminary being either before or after lunch, until the seminary teacher, who I didn't know all that well, informed my bishop of my absence, who then informed my dad, who then informed me I would attend seminary whether I wanted to or not. So I went, sat in the back, didn't participate, and my parents were so happy when I graduated from seminary. I was just glad to be done with it. I had a friend, whose parents gave her the choice, telling her they would rather her not waste her time in seminary, if she wasn't going to participate. I was jealous of that friend.

I just really did not want to be there. All it felt like was a sentence had been imposed on me. And all that I thought about was escape.