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I Can't Have Mormons As Friends...? ( Really?! )


LOSTONE

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I have tons of friends in my persona life. I like people and making friends come easy for me. Most of my friends are with in my Christian faith or from one of several churches I am connected to. A few are neither, but still good people.

Last night I went out to dinner with 5 friends. Just a relaxing social dinner to do something on a Friday night. Three where of the faith and 2 where not. All where good people. We talked and joked about alot and just had a good time. None of us drink, but in one case, I don’t think that made a difference.

One of my friends with in the faith got on me for having Mormon friends. I don’t hide who my friends are and some are Mormon even though I am not. This one friend really got bold and in my face about having Mormons as friend and started making comments about things he obviously did not have a clue to but thought he did. Stereotypical and bias stuff that I’ve heard all before, but disregard as trash. He just went on and on to me about how wrong I am to have Mormons as friends. He was sober, but I am think he was also acting like a complete ***.

I tried to shut him down with respect and reasoning, but it was not working. I did not want to get angry or hostile towards him, but I was so getting there. My other friends finally stepped in and help shut this guy down. He seemed to be so upset and intent on causing trouble of this matter that we had him leave. We where out for dinner and a little fun. No troubles so he had to go. My friend apologized to me for all of this, but it was not there fault. It was this guy’s fault. I thanked my friends and the night went on. I don’t think I will be associating with this guy for a while even if he does end up apologizing. He needs to get his head out of his *** before I can deal with him again.

Why do people have to have problems with each other over matters that does not cause problems to begin with? He was mad at me because we are Christians and I have Mormon friends. Really? Well than get mad at me cause I am white and I have black and Hispanic friends to. Get mad at me cause I like blue more than green. I mean, it’s stupid to get mad at someone over things that make no real difference. What difference is it that I have Mormon friends?

Oh, and I didn’t not mean to imply that Mormons are not Christians in this post in how I wrote it I was trying to explain things and not imply anything or be insulting. So if I did imply things, I apologize.

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I have tons of friends in my persona life. I like people and making friends come easy for me. Most of my friends are with in my Christian faith or from one of several churches I am connected to. A few are neither, but still good people.

Last night I went out to dinner with 5 friends. Just a relaxing social dinner to do something on a Friday night. Three where of the faith and 2 where not. All where good people. We talked and joked about alot and just had a good time. None of us drink, but in one case, I don’t think that made a difference.

One of my friends with in the faith got on me for having Mormon friends. I don’t hide who my friends are and some are Mormon even though I am not. This one friend really got bold and in my face about having Mormons as friend and started making comments about things he obviously did not have a clue to but thought he did. Stereotypical and bias stuff that I’ve heard all before, but disregard as trash. He just went on and on to me about how wrong I am to have Mormons as friends. He was sober, but I am think he was also acting like a complete ***.

I tried to shut him down with respect and reasoning, but it was not working. I did not want to get angry or hostile towards him, but I was so getting there. My other friends finally stepped in and help shut this guy down. He seemed to be so upset and intent on causing trouble of this matter that we had him leave. We where out for dinner and a little fun. No troubles so he had to go. My friend apologized to me for all of this, but it was not there fault. It was this guy’s fault. I thanked my friends and the night went on. I don’t think I will be associating with this guy for a while even if he does end up apologizing. He needs to get his head out of his *** before I can deal with him again.

Why do people have to have problems with each other over matters that does not cause problems to begin with? He was mad at me because we are Christians and I have Mormon friends. Really? Well than get mad at me cause I am white and I have black and Hispanic friends to. Get mad at me cause I like blue more than green. I mean, it’s stupid to get mad at someone over things that make no real difference. What difference is it that I have Mormon friends?

Oh, and I didn’t not mean to imply that Mormons are not Christians in this post in how I wrote it I was trying to explain things and not imply anything or be insulting. So if I did imply things, I apologize.

 

Who you have for friends is nobodies call but yours.  It seems like he was attempting to control your life.  Just be yourself.

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I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Unfortunately some people believe the nonsense that is said about Mormons. My brother-in-law is one of those who has been taught from the pulpit of his church all sorts of ridiculous things about Mormons. In his faith, women and girls must wear dresses all the time. One Christmas we were gathered at my inlaws' house. I happened to be wearing some nice slacks. His wife and daughter were in their dresses. Out of the blue, he said that he was sure glad the women of his faith wore dresses because kids were growing up these days with no idea about what a "lady" looks like. Right in front of me at the dinner table! I guess he was implying that I'm not a lady because I don't wear dresses all the time.

He is relentless in spewing nonsense about Mormons. When I deny that we believe/do such trash, he says, "Well, we were warned that Mormons would try to deny it, but I know you do it, so stop lying."

I know how you feel in this situation. Sometimes all you can do is let these types of people get it out of their system, and wind down on their own.

My response to my brother-in-law is rather wicked, but it tends to make him hush. I just say, "There's no need to get so upset. Don't worry, when you get to the Spirit World and realize you were wrong, I'll see that your temple work is done."

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The whole reason I wanted to learn about Mormons was because I had friends atmy old church always saying such insulting judgments bout Mormons and yet never really investing in knowing anything about them. I felt that was ignorant to judge what you don’t know and worst to say it as a normal part of a conversation. Don’t burn the book unless you really have read it cause it will come back to burn you.

It is this that is the spark that has brought me to some really wonderful people I call friends. Yes, they are Mormon, but some of them also like the color blue more than green. I am a Christian ( non-Mormon ) and like green more than blue. We are all of good honest heart so why would it matter. To this guy, it mattered and he was very idiotic about letting me know that. Maybe I can get by life with out too much heart ache with one less friend. Bye, bye idiot friend who burns what he doesn’t understand.

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From the front page of lds.org today:

https://www.lds.org/church/news/the-surprising-science-behind-supremely-happy-people?cid=HPFR102414513〈=eng

"Brother Smith explained that the number 1 contributor to happiness, according to Dr. Martin Seligman, was the quality of a person’s social circle. “He [Dr. Seligman] indicated that why women live longer than men is because they have bigger social circles,” said Brother Smith. “There is a myth that when a man’s wife dies he will go quickly behind because he can’t take care of himself. But this is not true. A man soon dies after his spouse because he doesn’t have a social circle upon which he can rely.”"

Edited by calmoriah
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This is just typical behavior from a certain segment of society and it is not unique, but is found in all religions where some carry beliefs to an extreme.  I grew up with Southern Baptists and they are notorious for telling telling their children not to befriend, hang-out, or talk to the Mormon youth.  As a boy we were few, but this continues to this day and the LDS are a much bigger influence in the community with far more youth.  

 

More than anything we just endure their attacks and poor behavior.  This makes me think of Charles ****ens' "A Christmas Carol" - 

 

“There are some upon this earth of yours,' returned the Spirit, 'who lay claim to know us, and who do their deeds of passion, pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness in our name; who are as strange to us and all our kith and kin, as if they had never lived. Remember that, and charge their doings on themselves, not us.” 

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I am wondering if how  define ( feel towards ) friends in incorrect and I put too much into them. I have no real family. My friends are the closet I have to a sense of family and belong and yet I am wondering if I am preserving those relationships wrong. Being to close to them and expecting them to care at a level only true family can. Maybe I need to step away a little and except life without people at a level that may not be possible.

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I am wondering if how define ( feel towards ) friends in incorrect and I put too much into them. I have no real family. My friends are the closet I have to a sense of family and belong and yet I am wondering if I am preserving those relationships wrong. Being to close to them and expecting them to care at a level only true family can. Maybe I need to step away a little and except life without people at a level that may not be possible.

Ever since my faith crisis, hate to keep using those words, I pulled back from friends and family. Don't pull away, I beg of you. I am so very lonely from doing it. I have nothing interesting about myself, just come on discussion boards. Keep their friendship! Even when they bash Mormons, they can change and you can help them do it, but don't try to be alone that's asinine. Edited by Tacenda
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Family puts up with its idiotic, opinionated, ill-informed members.   They stand up against the stupidity, but they find a way to love the person (sometimes even socialize him better) in recognition of his divine worth and human limitations in understanding each other's hearts.

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I agree that is what family does, rpn. True family...which may not be the group of people we grew up with....hopefully they are included, but it can be a much bigger group (or smaller unfortunately).

Lost One, did you read the article I linked to? There is danger in having no friends, including greater depression, illness and other unpleasant experiences even if one doesn't feel lonely. If your current friends aren't always uplifting to be around, the solution is more likely to expand your circle of friends,especially into those who help you rejuvenate rather than suck the energy out (these can be hard to find if one is an introvert, it takes work to find and investment to develop those few relationships) than to decrease or move away from friendship.

Edited by calmoriah
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I have been hurt alot in life by people I have gotten close to. Family, friends, church and all in between. I am alone in this life and I don’t want to get hurt anymore by getting close. So when a person becomes my friend, it’s because I allowed myself to get close to them. If they say or do something that hurts me, I am considerate and understanding as they are a person like me. They are under the human condition illness like me. But if it continues, so does my hurt and to that, I can not do more of. If this person continues to get upon me for having Mormons as friends, he continues to hurt me and has to be removed from my life as simple and respectful as I can.

***

((( WTF?!!! ))) Mormons have cooties? Are you guys frigen serious? There is no cure for cooties. Am I now invested and incurable? LMAO.... I needed this laugh, especial today. Thanks.

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I agree that is what family does, rpn. True family...which may not be the group of people we grew up with....hopefully they are included, but it can be a much bigger group (or smaller unfortunately).

Lost One, did you read the article I linked to? There is danger in having no friends, including greater depression, illness and other unpleasant experiences even if one doesn't feel lonely. If your current friends aren't always uplifting to be around, the solution is more likely to expand your circle of friends,especially into those who help you rejuvenate rather than suck the energy out (these can be hard to find if one is an introvert, it takes work to find and investment to develop those few relationships) than to decrease or move away from friendship.

 

Yes, I read it and thank you. I understand what you are saying and actually agree with you. I think I know what it is I am seeking and not finding. Sadly, I think it is out of reach for me and thus, I may have unintentionally stumbled into a depression pit. Hopefully I can find my way out before it becomes a trap for me. Thanks again. Your wisdom does help alot.

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I am wondering if how define ( feel towards ) friends in incorrect and I put too much into them. I have no real family. My friends are the closet I have to a sense of family and belong and yet I am wondering if I am preserving those relationships wrong. Being to close to them and expecting them to care at a level only true family can. Maybe I need to step away a little and except life without people at a level that may not be possible.

Ever since my faith crisis, hate to keep using those words, I pulled back from friends and family. Don't pull away, I beg of you. I am so very lonely from doing it. I have nothing interesting about myself, just come on discussion boards. Keep their friendship! Even when they bash Mormons, they can change and you can help them do it, but don't try to be alone that's asinine.

You're right, Tacenda.  Keep whatever friends and family you can, and add to them.  That's what life is all about, and you may need them as much as they need you.  And listen Barbra Steisand's "People," at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1189N7mcS1Q  .

Edited by Robert F. Smith
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I agree that is what family does, rpn. True family...which may not be the group of people we grew up with....hopefully they are included, but it can be a much bigger group (or smaller unfortunately).

Lost One, did you read the article I linked to? There is danger in having no friends, including greater depression, illness and other unpleasant experiences even if one doesn't feel lonely. If your current friends aren't always uplifting to be around, the solution is more likely to expand your circle of friends,especially into those who help you rejuvenate rather than suck the energy out (these can be hard to find if one is an introvert, it takes work to find and investment to develop those few relationships) than to decrease or move away from friendship.

That is why solitary confinement is so hard on prisoners.  Even the worst of us need friends.

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To quote a famous comedian " A friend is someone who will help you move, while a good friend will help you move a dead body. "

One only needs a couple of good friends. Some people are so negative that they bring you down constantly. Best to distance yourself from them for your own mental health.

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To quote a famous comedian " A friend is someone who will help you move, while a good friend will help you move a dead body. "

One only needs a couple of good friends. Some people are so negative that they bring you down constantly. Best to distance yourself from them for your own mental health.

True too!! LOST can find new friends if the current ones aren't good for him.
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Ever since my faith crisis, hate to keep using those words, I pulled back from friends and family. Don't pull away, I beg of you. I am so very lonely from doing it. I have nothing interesting about myself, just come on discussion boards. Keep their friendship! Even when they bash Mormons, they can change and you can help them do it, but don't try to be alone that's asinine.

 

It is not too late for you to reignite, at least some of your friendships.  I urge you to do so.  Just learn there are some topics of conversation you don't you don't pursue with some people.

Edited by ERayR
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A friend is someone who knows all about you and likes you anyways. I won't tell you to cut off the friendship but sometimes a little more emotional and physical  distance does wonders for the soul.

 

I disagree that a friend has to know all about you or you them. 

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It is not too late for you to reignite, at least some of your friendships.  I urge you to do so.  Just learn there are some topics of conversation you don't you don't pursue with some people.

I hope I haven't burned too many bridges with my admitting I'm struggling in church.  Now it could be that my personality isn't the way it was, before feeling like a flipping freak sometimes.  But thanks for your concern ERayR, hope you're doing well! 

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I have tons of friends in my persona life. I like people and making friends come easy for me. Most of my friends are with in my Christian faith or from one of several churches I am connected to. A few are neither, but still good people.

Last night I went out to dinner with 5 friends. Just a relaxing social dinner to do something on a Friday night. Three where of the faith and 2 where not. All where good people. We talked and joked about alot and just had a good time. None of us drink, but in one case, I don’t think that made a difference.

One of my friends with in the faith got on me for having Mormon friends. I don’t hide who my friends are and some are Mormon even though I am not. This one friend really got bold and in my face about having Mormons as friend and started making comments about things he obviously did not have a clue to but thought he did. Stereotypical and bias stuff that I’ve heard all before, but disregard as trash. He just went on and on to me about how wrong I am to have Mormons as friends. He was sober, but I am think he was also acting like a complete ***.

I tried to shut him down with respect and reasoning, but it was not working. I did not want to get angry or hostile towards him, but I was so getting there. My other friends finally stepped in and help shut this guy down. He seemed to be so upset and intent on causing trouble of this matter that we had him leave. We where out for dinner and a little fun. No troubles so he had to go. My friend apologized to me for all of this, but it was not there fault. It was this guy’s fault. I thanked my friends and the night went on. I don’t think I will be associating with this guy for a while even if he does end up apologizing. He needs to get his head out of his *** before I can deal with him again.

Why do people have to have problems with each other over matters that does not cause problems to begin with? He was mad at me because we are Christians and I have Mormon friends. Really? Well than get mad at me cause I am white and I have black and Hispanic friends to. Get mad at me cause I like blue more than green. I mean, it’s stupid to get mad at someone over things that make no real difference. What difference is it that I have Mormon friends?

Oh, and I didn’t not mean to imply that Mormons are not Christians in this post in how I wrote it I was trying to explain things and not imply anything or be insulting. So if I did imply things, I apologize.

I became Evangelical around 28 years old. My stepfather had been Amish. The devout, Bible reading approach began to cause more trouble and disappointment for me.  I thought that a devout Christian should do what Jesus said to do. Finally my pastor took me aside. Listen, he told me, only about 10% of the congregation reads the Bible. Of them, only about 10% will be devout. So, the only teaching most of them get on the Bible is from me on Sunday, and I only get 20 minutes. And, I have a book that recomends that I only preach on certain subjects, and most of the others are what are called Pew emptying subjects.

 

We went overseas a few times as temporary Missionaries, and found the work heart breaking. The people in those poor countries trusted us to help them and the amount of help we gave was pitiful. I hope the Mormons do better.

 

After 9/11 guys like John Hagee and a few others got so hateful and condemning of Muslims that I left Christianity and became Muslim. I have been talking with a guy on Youtube who hates Mormons, and he actually blows his cork some times. He does not realize his loveless approach proves that his faith is bogus.

 

In the dozen or more denominations I have studied, the Mormons talk about Jesus Christ more than any of them. The thing about so many Christian denominations is that they forget that we are to love God, and to love one another full stop. Anything else is a waste of time and does not bear fruit.

 

You sound like a nice young lad. I hope that you stay devout and that you study for yourself. Your pastor has certain contractual obligations, so probably can't tell you some things. I hope that you stay around.

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