What Is The Damage That Gay Marriage Does To Children

[katherine the great]

I kind of wonder if it's too soon to even get data as gay marriage isn't legalized everywhere and so Canada I think it's only been here maybe 10-15 years I think? so i guess in sometime more studies will come out

 

maybe they figure if one married parent is gay or had some kind of relationship in the past or whatever and these are the results then what will happen if both are gay? 

Maybe, but a lousy parent is a lousy parent--gay or straight.  And the statistics from this study show that there was an abnormally high divorce rate (or an abnormally high "parents never married" rate.  It is just not relevant to a gay marriage family situation.  I think a study from somewhere in Europe where gay marriage has been legal longer would be a better comparison.

[Robert F. Smith]

I don't know if it says divorced parents but at some point these folks had some kind of a homosexual relationship, which who knows if their current partner would be terribly thrilled about -But I think the study seems to say that having two gay parents isn't the ideal environment in which to raise a child. Mind you to get the best results of what form of parenting is best you'd have to almost isolate people and raise a kid and that doesn't seem to be happening anywhere that I am aware of, so people are influenced by many factors regardless of who their parents are

The report you cite has been discussed on this board before at http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jun/10/study-children-fare-better-traditional-mom-dad-fam/ .

[Storm Rider]

Thank you.  My issue here is that this is a study of people in gay relationships and not neceassarily gay marriage. I would think we would find the same of kids in a home of nonmarried heterosexuals vs married heterosexual parents

Is that person based upon studies or just your own opinion?

 

What is the magic difference between two committed adults heading a family and another couple that has a certificate from the state telling them they are "married"?

 

Are men and women different?

 

What is the benefit of having both a male and a female as the head of a household?

 

Can a man play a female role equally as well as a female?  and vice-versa?

 

In a religious context, how do parents differ?  Can sameness ever successfully replace yin and yang?  Does it come close or at least close enough to make the difference insignificant?

[california boy]

Less than 28% of the population live in a family with a father/mother/children.  Why would anyone be obsessed with the very small fraction of the total population that is gay, and the very small fraction of that population that chooses to adopt children that for the most part would grow up without any parents.

 

This constant focus on what "the gays" are doing is ridiculous and unjustifiable.  Study after study after study by accredited researchers has shown that children raised by gay couples do just as well as children raised by straight marriages.  Brian 2.0 posted this in another thread.  It is worth reviewing for those that really want to know what these studies actually say.

 

http://journalistsre...esearch-roundup

 

And so just so you don't think I'm pulling the studies from the "Make the World Gay and Destroy Families Committee" or something... here's the academic institutions that make up these studies:

 

- Stanford University

- UCLA

- UCSF

- Florida State University

- Michigan State University

- University of Virginia

- University of Amsterdam

- Tufts University

- Boston Medical Center

- New York State Psychiatric Institute

- The Committee of Psychosocial Aspect of Child and Family Health

 

[SamIam]

My parents smoked, my dad drank heavily, my family is full of people breaking the law of chastity.  I have been unharmed (other than the second hand smoke).  I am not talking about religious belief but rather physical, emotional, or other harm to the child.  You can protest a public issue with a spiritual repercussions, but that is another arena.  It simply won't fly.   

 

 

[edited] Don't do that again.

Edited September 22, 2014 by SamIam

[katherine the great]

 

 

We might also want to ask about the stability of same sex marriages/civil unions.  One source reports that after 20 years of marriage  62% of heterosexual couples are still together, while only 5% of same sex couples.  

Do you have a link to this source?  I didn't know that same sex marriage has been legal for 20 years (at least in the States.)  I was under the impression that early statistics showed a lower divorce rate in same sex marriages.

[MormonFreeThinker]

I wear clothing for two very good reasons, for protection from the elements, and not to scare people.

 

I have a hard enough time with just one wife, and have no desire for more than one.

 

LOL I was not asking that, I was asking if you think it should be legal? 

[Tacenda]

Do you have a link to this source? I didn't know that same sex marriage has been legal for 20 years (at least in the States.) I was under the impression that early statistics showed a lower divorce rate in same sex marriages.

I'd like that link too. Even though Robert seems to be very thorough and fair in his observations it bothers me when posters present statistics and I take them at face value w/o back up. I'm glad you spotted this.

[california boy]

I'd like that link too. Even though Robert seems to be very thorough and fair in his observations it bothers me when posters present statistics and I take them at face value w/o back up. I'm glad you spotted this.

87% of all statistics are made up.

[Glenn101]

87% of all statistics are made up.

 

 

Do you have a link for that??? 

[thesometimesaint]

LOL I was not asking that, I was asking if you think it should be legal? 

 

Yes to both, but I don't recommend them.

[Rodeo]

If we really need to ask the difference, if any, between gay parents and traditional parents then we might as well just ask God right now to vaporize us. Especially for LDS to be discussing tjis. It is an open and shut case. If we had two communities- one made up with families made up of a mother and father and their biologic children, and the other community made up strictly of same sex couples where their children were only biologically tied to one parent. WHich community is going to last over a 100 years? Its ridiculous we even have to discuss this. Are we with God or against him on this?

[thesometimesaint]

Biology is not morality.

[Rodeo]

Gay parents cant have children naturally. Case closed!

[Buzzard]

 I was under the impression that early statistics showed a lower divorce rate in same sex marriages.

That impression would be wrong, for several reasons. First, legal SS marriage has only been around 10 years. So you have opposite-sex couple married 12,15, or 30+ years that obtain a divorce, there is no comparable pool available for SS marriages. Second, SS couples who marry tend to be the most committed.  A lower % of cohabiting gay couples get married in the first place, so marginal SS couples simply live together until the relationship is over, then move on without a legal trail.  Despite the declining percentage of marriages even among opposite gender couples, the marriage  rate among these couples is still much higher than SS couples. 

There is simply not enough data to be accurate.  In Europe, in MOST but  not all countries, gays seem to divorce at higher rates.  So far, with the limited database available in the USA, gay men are divorcing at a rate somewhat lower, but lesbians have a very high divorce rate.  This would be especially alarming if true, since most of the children in SS marriages are with lesbian couples. And most of those children are natural born, brought to the relationship from previous heterosexual marriages and relationships.  So those children are being subjected to at least one divorce, plus the obvious strain of learning to live with a "two mommies" setup, and apparently a higher risk of a second or even more divorces.  No wonder the initial results on how they are turning out as adults are troubling, or at very best, ambiguous.

Also, my admittedly unscientific observation is that especially male SS couples are much less likely to have children, or to bring children from previous relationships to the SS one. 

Bottom line, I think that by the time the data confirms what common sense tells us, there will be a lot of damaged young lives out there. But society is so set on equality and non-discrimination in any form, that it seems to have made the judgement that children be d--ned, it's all about the growups and what they feel.

BTW, I would not let gay couples adopt, either.  Makes me a real dinosaur to have misgivings about handing over precious lives to a tenuous social experiment. 

[Storm Rider]

Katherine there are several studies about the length of time SSM relationships last; they are significantly shorter periods.  In google-ing this topic it is readily apparent that several relationship characteristics come to the fore.  For example, I don't know a single man that comes anywhere close to the typical gay man's prolific numbers of gay "experiences".  I have heard of a one or two athletes that begin to reach these numbers, but those are the rare exception.  

 

Here are a number of articles that all refer to a number of studies:  the first one, here is the second one,  Coincidentally, there are a number of health issues that accompany this subset of social relationships according to the CDC.  

 

There seem to be a number of other studies that look at the average time period of a gay relationship.  One to three years is the largest group with 31% of gay couples; however, 29% are together for four to seven years.  

 

It seems fair to approach this topic realistically and without trying to distort the numbers; being aware of the studies leads to a more knowledgeable, realistic discussion.  Straight couples are not perfect and no one is attempting to portray them as such, but gay couples and straight couples are not the same.  Their relationships are different and, according to the studies listed above, they are more promiscuous and of shorter duration.  Will that change in the future?  Maybe, but it will not change unless the community itself begins to talk about its own shortcomings.  On the other hand, it may not change for the simple reason it does not value monogamy in the same way other couples value it.  

 

This information was from a previous post on another thread that address similar issues. 

Edited September 22, 2014 by Storm Rider

[thesometimesaint]

Gay parents cant have children naturally. Case closed!

 

So? My wife and I are in our 60's so having more children is out of the question. We unofficially adopted our grandnephew, after all our own kids left home, and we couldn't have any more. He is now serving a Mission for the Church. What Civil Rights do I give up? Further about 7% of all couples under 35 are sterile. What Civil Rights do they loose?

Edited September 22, 2014 by thesometimesaint

[stemelbow]

In my experience there's a gigantic hole in every argument I've seen to suggest that kids are in danger if raised by same sex couples. Seems to be par for the course here.

[Tacenda]

So? My wife and I are in our 60's so having more children is out of the question. We unofficially adopted our grandnephew, after all our own kids left home, and we couldn't have any more. He is now serving a Mission for the Church. What Civil Rights do I give up? Further about 7% of all couples under 35 are sterile. What Civil Rights do they loose?

Here, here! 

 

In the back of my mind I think of those children that have dad's or mom's that are career focused and are hardly home.  There are so many situations in families that we really don't have a true test case.  It might look good on the outside...the mom and dad, but do we know what goes on behind closed doors.  Do we know of the relationship flaws or do we know if there's components of dysfunction.  Therefore there is room for varying styles of parenting out there. 

[Storm Rider]

Here, here! 

 

In the back of my mind I think of those children that have dad's or mom's that are career focused and are hardly home.  There are so many situations in families that we really don't have a true test case.  It might look good on the outside...the mom and dad, but do we know what goes on behind closed doors.  Do we know of the relationship flaws or do we know if there's components of dysfunction.  Therefore there is room for varying styles of parenting out there. 

 

This is the logic that does not really directly support anything it just says "look how bad it can be over there and so we cannot do any worse".  What no one answers is:

 

Can a male replace a female or a female replace a male?  Is there any real difference between the two genders?  Is the only real difference needed for the archaic demand for reproduction and now we can almost do that without either sex; so why have them?  Does a male and a female really create an ideal unit for raising children or does all it really take is a village?  

 

If what supporters of SSM marriages are really saying is that those people have bad examples so we cannot be that bad, all they are really saying is we cannot screw it up anymore then them.  That is supposed to be a reason to support this social experiment?  How do any of you know what the impact is on a child when they are not raised by both genders?  What is the impact when they are raised by a single gender?

 

I prefer to think of how do we do our best rather than conclude that all we really need to do is no worse than the worst among us.  

[thesometimesaint]

Here, here! 

 

In the back of my mind I think of those children that have dad's or mom's that are career focused and are hardly home.  There are so many situations in families that we really don't have a true test case.  It might look good on the outside...the mom and dad, but do we know what goes on behind closed doors.  Do we know of the relationship flaws or do we know if there's components of dysfunction.  Therefore there is room for varying styles of parenting out there. 

 

There really is no such thing as perfect parents. We ALL make plenty of mistakes. But most of us try to do the best we can by our kids. I always told mine that they need to learn from my mistakes, and don't repeat them. They need to make their own.

[USU78]

 Why would anyone be obsessed with the very small fraction of the total population that is gay, and the very small fraction of that population that chooses to adopt children that for the most part would grow up without any parents.

 

Because active homosexuals are an evangelical movement.

[Rodeo]

So? My wife and I are in our 60's so having more children is out of the question. We unofficially adopted our grandnephew, after all our own kids left home, and we couldn't have any more. He is now serving a Mission for the Church. What Civil Rights do I give up? Further about 7% of all couples under 35 are sterile. What Civil Rights do they loose?

Are you siding with gay parents or heterosexual parents? That is all that matters. In the scenario I put up the community of gays is dried up and gone in a 100 years while Gods ways are eternal and the seeds continue forever.

[thesometimesaint]

This is the logic that does not really directly support anything it just says "look how bad it can be over there and so we cannot do any worse".  What no one answers is:

 

Can a male replace a female or a female replace a male?  Is there any real difference between the two genders?  Is the only real difference needed for the archaic demand for reproduction and now we can almost do that without either sex; so why have them?  Does a male and a female really create an ideal unit for raising children or does all it really take is a village?  

 

If what supporters of SSM marriages are really saying is that those people have bad examples so we cannot be that bad, all they are really saying is we cannot screw it up anymore then them.  That is supposed to be a reason to support this social experiment?  How do any of you know what the impact is on a child when they are not raised by both genders?  What is the impact when they are raised by a single gender?

 

I prefer to think of how do we do our best rather than conclude that all we really need to do is no worse than the worst among us.  

 

I'm not a supporter of SSM, but can find no legally consistent way to make/keep it illegal.

[thesometimesaint]

Are you siding with gay parents or heterosexual parents? That is all that matters. In the scenario I put up the community of gays is dried up and gone in a 100 years while Gods ways are eternal and the seeds continue forever.

 

God can do whatever wants, and I follow the rules of his Church as best I can. Heterosexual parents are here to stay. Lets change your scenario a bit and make heterosexual couples the 2-3% minority. Would humanity cease to exist? Probably not, but there would be far fewer people than there are today. That's simple biology. Given that homosexuality has been around for millions of years, and in humans since there were humans, it is premature to postulate its demise any time soon.