Benefits of marrying in the temple

[zeezrom]

I realize there are claimed benefits to marrying in the temple reserved for the afterlife, like exaltation, staying married in heaven, that sort of thing. Can you help me assemble a list of benefits that make marriage better for this life?

Right now, I don't believe there is any difference between a civil and temple marriage when it comes to life on earth. I would see things like comitment, maturity, integrity, kindness as things that really benefit a marriage.

What is so great about temple marriage besides the benefits in the afterlife?

[Confidential Informant]

I realize there are claimed benefits to marrying in the temple reserved for the afterlife, like exaltation, staying married in heaven, that sort of thing. Can you help me assemble a list of benefits that make marriage better for this life?

Right now, I don't believe there is any difference between a civil and temple marriage when it comes to life on earth. I would see things like comitment, maturity, integrity, kindness as things that really benefit a marriage.

What is so great about temple marriage besides the benefits in the afterlife?

Sure. As I recall, Tim Heaton did a study that showed that temple marriages divorce at a rate of only 5-8%.

C.I.

[zeezrom]

I'll try my best at a list:

1. temple marriage helps you find the right person

You should qualify for the temple. Then you will know that there is no one good enough for you to marry outside the temple. If such individuals are that good, they will get themselves in a condition so that they too can be married in the temple." (Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p.351)

2. Greater commitment and enhanced marriage?

There will be a new spirit in Zion when the young women will say to their boyfriends, 'If you cannot get a temple recommend, then I am not about to tie my life to you, even for mortality!' And the young returned missionary will say to his girlfriend, 'I am sorry, but as much as I love you, I will not marry out of the holy temple.''' (Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p.561)

Would you agree with this?

[Duncan]

I got married in the Temple and didn't work out. Word to the single wise get to know them BEFORE you marry them! Marriage isn't like mailing a letter, you take a willy nilly attitude towards it, its real and has real life benefits and consequences.

[rpn]

I've been married both ways. So I know the practical differences. (And all of this assumes that the temple marriage is real based on the faith and commitment of the parties --- not done for social reasons.

1) The comfort of knowing that the relationship is NOT a short term, easy to throw away thing. (Yes I know that much of this has to do with the values of those involved,but it is a different mind set to believe in those values sufficient to make the sacrifices required to make those covenants in the temple.) This long view helps prevent problems in the here and now because it is harder to make mountains out of molehills with eternal perspective. The experience in the celestial room with the mirror is an never to be forgotten visual.

2) It helps financially if both people have learned how to live off 90% of their income (tithing payment is required for a temple marriage).

3) The self control that is required to reach the temple altar, makes working out conflict easier.

4) It is easier to raise children when parents can offer the sealing covenants to them and they know where they stand eternally in the family, and when parents who live their covenants parent and teach. It doesn't take much at all to feel the difference in a home with worthy parents vs. one where God and His plan do not hold a prominent place. And that brings great comfort to all family members. (Yes,god fearing people of all faiths and sometimes none at all do this too. But there is something tangibly different in having made and in benefitting from those sealing covenants.)

[Doug the Hutt]

Sure. As I recall, Tim Heaton did a study that showed that temple marriages divorce at a rate of only 5-8%.

C.I.

Don't suppose you can provide a nice little link for that study? 5-8% divorce rate, or rather 92-95% permanence-of-marriage-rate *should* be something the Church Newsroom would remind us of over and over and over again until they're blue in the face. Sounds contrived (not that your argument is contrived, but that Heaton's argument is). Thx.

[Daniel Peterson]

Don't suppose you can provide a nice little link for that study? 5-8% divorce rate, or rather 92-95% permanence-of-marriage-rate *should* be something the Church Newsroom would remind us of over and over and over again until they're blue in the face. Sounds contrived (not that your argument is contrived, but that Heaton's argument is). Thx.

I'm not familiar with the Heaton article, and don't know whether it's been accurately summarized, but Tim Heaton is a pretty respectable sociologist and your sight-unseen dismissal of his alleged argument simply because its purported conclusion displeases you (threatens you?) seems strikingly flimsy.

[CV75]

I realize there are claimed benefits to marrying in the temple reserved for the afterlife, like exaltation, staying married in heaven, that sort of thing. Can you help me assemble a list of benefits that make marriage better for this life?

Right now, I don't believe there is any difference between a civil and temple marriage when it comes to life on earth. I would see things like comitment, maturity, integrity, kindness as things that really benefit a marriage.

What is so great about temple marriage besides the benefits in the afterlife?

Like any intimate relationship that is recognized in or out of the temple, it depends what you are willing to put into it--but since it is the Holy Priesthood, there is definitely more eternal power to leverage and harness to realize a happy marriage that is a blessing to all who are touched by it. This is the "value added" aspect to the "commitment, maturity, integrity, kindness" etc. that benefit a marriage.

[Hamba Tuhan]

It doesn't take much at all to feel the difference in a home with worthy parents vs. one where God and His plan do not hold a prominent place. And that brings great comfort to all family members.

Not that it will convince Zeezrom or anyone else who's already decided there are no real benefits, but this to me is what has stood out in my family. My parents' commitment to the temple and all that it represents was a source of continual blessing to me as an individual and to us as a collective. One of my earliest memories is of my parents' quarterly temple trip. There would be a whirlwind of excitement and preparation beforehand, fun without the parents during (I was the youngest), and then, best of all, the gift which they brought back for us--an increase of love and peace and patience and goodness and kindness which was palpable. In my tiny child's mind, I wondered what kind of magic a place must have to make already-good parents so much better and to spread that influence on us from afar. As they honoured their covenants, they provided us with something sacred and wonderful. I hope to do the same for my own wife and children someday.

Sadly, people can obviously go through the motions of an eternal sealing without ever realising these available blessings. And then they conclude that such blessings don't even exist.

[jwhitlock]

My opinion would be increased commitment, statistically speaking. This would be most especially true when looking at temple marriages where there was a commitment to keep the covenants made, and a corresponding commitment to remain faithful LDS and to return to the temple often.

There are those who are married in the temple who do it simply for family / cultural reasons. In those cases, I'm not sure that there would be any statistical difference between such temple marriages and civil marriages.

Temple marriage done properly, in my opinion, provides a significant increase over any other type of marriage from a statistical standpoint.

However, the major benefit to the couple is the covenant partnership with God that occurs in the temple marriage. There are no statistical figures that can be gathered for the results of that relationship; however, the couple that is sealed in the temple and makes every effort to keep their covenants has spiritual and temporal strength available that are not to be found anywhere else. That's been my experience.

A temple marriage without commitment to the covenants is no better or worse than a civil marriage. A temple sealing accompanied by faithful commitment to covenants has no equal anywhere.

[Hamba Tuhan]

5-8% divorce rate, or rather 92-95% permanence-of-marriage-rate *should* be something the Church Newsroom would remind us of over and over and over again until they're blue in the face.

Ask, and ye shall receive.

From the Church Newsroom:

According to research cited in a 2000 article in the Los Angeles Times,

[rockslider]

I'm not familiar with the Heaton article, and don't know whether it's been accurately summarized, but Tim Heaton is a pretty respectable sociologist and your sight-unseen dismissal of his alleged argument simply because its purported conclusion displeases you (threatens you?) seems strikingly flimsy.

I've always heard that the Mormon divorce rate is not that much off the national average. Seems to me (from people that I know), that the Baby boomer Mormons might have done a bit better, but X/Y seem average.

[ttribe]

I've always heard that the Mormon divorce rate is not that much off the national average. Seems to me (from people that I know), that the Baby boomer Mormons might have done a bit better, but X/Y seem average.

"Mormon divorce rate" or "Temple Marriage divorce rate"? I suspect there is a difference.

[ttribe]

I'll just add, as a response to the OP, my personal observation - my parents (who were not married in the Temple) were divorced by the time I was 5. My Dad was married 4 times to 3 women (he married and divorced the first one twice). All of my siblings from my mother's and father's various marriages, except one, have had at least one divorce. In short, I've seen divorce up close. Frankly, I credit my marriage in the Temple with helping me overcome my own background.

[rockslider]

"Mormon divorce rate" or "Temple Marriage divorce rate"? I suspect there is a difference.

Hey "t", thanks for checking for me the other day ... seems I'm back.

I suppose my thinking was very limited to the "Utah divorce rate, and more specifically, the Heber divorce rate.

Also based on yet another assumption, that the percentage of Mormon marriages that are not temple marriages would be very small. This is especially true for Heber, and I would assume Utah, but not sure where world wide numbers might fall

[MorningStar]

Assuming both husband and wife to be are worthy, I think these are the benefits:

1. The marriage has been built on a solid foundation, both people having exercised self-control and respect for each other and God instead of giving into lust. If they can make it through the difficult period of courtship and engagement, I think that is a great way to start a marriage. To make it to the temple worthily takes a lot of patience and keeping an eternal perspective. Just like fasting can strengthen us spiritually, I think refusing to act on our desires during courtship can prepare us to make sacrifices in marriage.

2. The beauty of that sacred memory. Looking into my husband's eyes across the altar was the best part of the day by far. I love to remember the way he looked at me and that we weren't in front of a large audience. It felt like it was just the two of us and God in that reverent atmosphere.

3. Both people made covenants in the temple that will help their marriage and they are committed to following Jesus Christ.

4. The opportunities to return to the temple to perform sealings by proxy with your spouse, making you feel like you are renewing your vow to each other. Awesome. We love to do this on our anniversary.

5. Having the same faith is one way to have unity in marriage. If both people are there for the right reasons, their faith is a major priority.

6. Knowing that you both chose to be together forever and not just until one of you dies.

It all depends on how seriously each person takes their covenants. I believe selfishness is the cause of divorce - sometimes one spouse and often both. Temple marriage gives you the most benefits when you keep your covenants and enter the temple worthily. It's not a magic pill.

[handys003]

Had a civil marriage then later on a sealing.

The knowledge that your promise to be together throughout eternity rather than death do us apart.

The knowledge that your spouse understands the same precept.

The knowledge of a temple practice unfortunately that cannot be further divulged here.

The look on your spouses face. Just one look in her eye says more to me than the civil marriage ever did.

The words spoken in the Temple by the officiator just had a more in-depth clarity and meaning in matters of marriage than the words of a Judge.

[Nofear]

Here is a link to a replica of the article cited by the newsroom: Holy Matrimony: In Era of Divorce, Mormon Temple Weddings Are Built to Last

LDS divorce rates are lower than the national average (temple or otherwise) if both spouses are LDS.

LDS divorce rates are higher than any other mixed-religion couple group except a Jewish to non-Jewish spouse.

Another tidbit, Mormons are also the least likely to cohabitate outside of marriage.

source: adherents.com - LDS demographics

[hordak]

Playing devils advocate here could the temple marriage stats have other factors besides the temple that could be attributed to common interest or faith in general? Going to the temple one must be very committed to the church and gospel where as other churches have no deciding lines to separate the "ultra committed" to the "regular members" so a fair comparison might be more difficult to make.

I.E If 20%(just tossing out a number) of the members are married in the temple and there is only a 6% divorce rate among them it looks like the temple makes better marriages(and it a way it does) but what if the "top" 20% of Catholics ( who pay regular offering,regularly go to confession, attend mass and take communion weekly, read the scriptures daily etc) only have a 6% divorce rate? Since there is no "division"(so to speak) and Catholic marriages include everyone the 18 year old who knocked up his girl and only goes to mass on Christmas and Easter to the most faithful and committed.I don't know if there can be an apt comparison.

I have also read living together prior to marriage increases the risk of divorce. And that is not uniquely wrong in the church but in other faiths as well but is essential for the temple.

So is it the temple itself, or the common goals, commitments, faith, etc. that are required to get into the temple that make divorce less common?

So i would say preparing for the temple can increase the odds of a successful marriage in the same way that preparing for university by attend community college can increase the odds of academic success. Just going to the campus or temple isn't what increases the odds. And the skills/ situations are not things that cannot be learned elsewhere.

[thesometimesaint]

hordak:

I don't know as the devil needs an advocate. He seems to do a pretty good job as it is.

I don't know the stats for other intensively committed religions. But my off hand guess it be would similar to but not necessarily the same as the LDS who marry in the Temple. The best general rule is that the best predictor of a successful marriage is whether your parents divorced. It's not absolute, but it is the best predictor.

C&E Christians are common in all the various sects. They would skew the statistics for the group. But most congregations Baptists, Methodists, what have you, know who the C&E's are anyway without the formal structure the LDS give to it.

The stats for live ins before marriage having a successful marriage are pretty grim. While it is not impossible to be a live in and be a member, it is actively discouraged, and baptism to potential members can and will be denied to those who are in such a relationship. Once found out current members are subject to Church discipline.

It's a combination of both. The more things a couple have in common with each other, the better the odds are for successful marriage commitment. The formal recognition by our God in His Temple, makes the level of that commitment that much more serious.

Similar to but not quite the same. In going to college we commit ourselves to 4-7 year course of study depending on field of study. In secular marriage the level of commitment is to this life. In LDS Temple marriage it is for eternity.

[Lightbearer]

The feeling you get when you gaze into the mirrors in the sealing room and feel the past, present, and future as one grand and glorious now.

[Brenda]

I realize there are claimed benefits to marrying in the temple reserved for the afterlife, like exaltation, staying married in heaven, that sort of thing. Can you help me assemble a list of benefits that make marriage better for this life?

Right now, I don't believe there is any difference between a civil and temple marriage when it comes to life on earth. I would see things like comitment, maturity, integrity, kindness as things that really benefit a marriage.

What is so great about temple marriage besides the benefits in the afterlife?

Simply the odds that the marriage will last. Temple marriage obviously means you are both of the same faith, with the same goals, and probably come from a similar background. All very helpful for a successful marriage. Plus we are counseled to stay close to God and His Spirit in our relationship, and that strengthens any marriage. Temple marriage doesn't allow any pre-wed co-habitation, which statistically increases odds of divorce. Temple marriage usually (and should) mean active participation in the Church thereafter, which strengthens a marriage through the constant counsel we receive.

The level of commitment depends on the couple. A temple marriage SHOULD mean a higher level of commitment, because you go into it with the "forever" aspect in mind and that SHOULD mean divorce is not an option. However, too many couples feel no more committed than in a civil marriage, unfortunately.

Another benefit that we usually don't think about is the example that our temple marriage sets for our children. Teaching them by our actions, rather than just our words. Anyone who grows up with temple marriage as a goal, will live a better, cleaner, happier life.

Finally, anytime we are obedient, we are blessed. A worthy temple marriage is entitled to special blessings predicated thereon.

[zeezrom]

The feeling you get when you gaze into the mirrors in the sealing room and feel the past, present, and future as one grand and glorious now.

You can put mirrors like that up in your bedroom if you want. Just a thought.

[Daniel Peterson]

You can put mirrors like that up in your bedroom if you want. Just a thought.

What an interesting remark.

[Ceeboo]

Anyone who grows up with temple marriage as a goal, will live a better, cleaner, happier life.

Huh?

That's probably what's wrong with Ceeboo!

Peace,

Ceeboo