If you're not married by 25?

[Calm]

http://www.refinery29.com/2017/01/137440/divorce-rate-in-america-statistics

Yep, researchers have found that the rate of divorce in the U.S. actually peaked at about 40% around 1980 and has been declining ever since. And, according to data from the National Survey of Family Growth, the probability of a first marriage lasting at least a decade was 68% for women and 70% for men between 2006 and 2010. The probability that they would make it 20 years was 52% for women and 56% for men, so that percentage is closer to the frequently-cited "half," but still not there.

Other estimates show that three-quarters of those married in the 1990s would make it at least 15 years (compared with just 65% of those married in the 1980s). And if that current trend continues, the vast majority (about two-thirds) of marriages will never divorce...

[Darren10]

6 hours ago, poptart said:

Let's take a look at the divorce statistics, out of wedlock births etc.  Tell that to a man with a bit of common sense and the idea of a gold digger with an entitlement complex comes to mind.

May the gods help you if she closes poorly....

You're not everyone.

 

Just had a very leave a horrible marraige, he lost everything and came close to killing everyone in the house,  I was debating taking bets on which firearm he'd use first lol.  Joking aside the ex was cheating on him, I ask myself if I was in the same position what would I have done?  I would have snapped a lot faster,  he atleast left.

May the gods help him.

[Darren10]

6 hours ago, The Nehor said:

I got engaged once and she ended up being literally committed. Some guys like to say girls go crazy over them but I have proof.  

At Rick's College I dated two girls  (at different times) who ended up getting engaged to so embody else. After my mission and two years of local community college, I drove out to BUY Provo with my then girlfriend from Illinois. We broke up afterwards (I broke it off) and she got married a few months later. About a year later I got engaged to somebody else and she broke up with me and got married a year after that. For the longest time I promoted myself as the guy to date for any young lady who wanted to get married. By the time I met my wife Niki I was so through with dating.

Edited October 11, 2017 by Darren10

[The Nehor]

15 minutes ago, Darren10 said:

At Rick's College I dated two girls  (at different times) who ended up getting engaged to so embody else. After my mission and two years of local community college, I drove out to BUY Provo with my then girlfriend from Illinois. We broke up afterwards (I broke it off) and she got married a few months later. About a year later I got engaged to somebody else and she broke up with me and got married a year after that. For the longest time I promoted myself as the guy to date for any young lady who wanted to get married. By the time I met my wife Niki I was so through with dating.

I was dating one girl I fell for back in my mid-20s. One day she excitedly came to me and told me she had decided to go on a mission. While not intended this way it came across to me at the time as the Mormon equivalent of "After dating you I have decided to become a nun". It all ended well though. We kept in touch and she ended up marrying one of my best friends and helped convince me to get out of a disastrous relationship and she is one of my best friends now.

Edited October 11, 2017 by The Nehor

[Jane_Doe]

22 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

I was dating one girl I fell for back in my mid-20s. One day she excitedly came to me and told me she had decided to go on a mission. While not intended this way it came across to me at the time as the Mormon equivalent of "After dating you I have decided to become a nun". It all ended well though. We kept in touch and she ended up marrying one of my best friends and helped convince me to get out of a disastrous relationship and she is one of my best friends now.

In middle school this guy had the biggest crush on one of my best friends.  It was adorable!  He carried the torch all through middle school, high school, and she (finally) accepted dating him in undergrad.  I was SO happy for them!!  And then they broke up three weeks later.  He was totally heart broken.  A few years later I was shocked when that same guy ask ME out :0 !  Two years later we said "I do" and have never been happier. 

[poptart]

51 minutes ago, Calm said:

http://www.refinery29.com/2017/01/137440/divorce-rate-in-america-statistics

Yep, researchers have found that the rate of divorce in the U.S. actually peaked at about 40% around 1980 and has been declining ever since. And, according to data from the National Survey of Family Growth, the probability of a first marriage lasting at least a decade was 68% for women and 70% for men between 2006 and 2010. The probability that they would make it 20 years was 52% for women and 56% for men, so that percentage is closer to the frequently-cited "half," but still not there.

Other estimates show that three-quarters of those married in the 1990s would make it at least 15 years (compared with just 65% of those married in the 1980s). And if that current trend continues, the vast majority (about two-thirds) of marriages will never divorce...

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/unmarried-childbearing.htm

https://www.brookings.edu/research/an-analysis-of-out-of-wedlock-births-in-the-united-states/

Aaaaaand the money maker!

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/07/why-are-so-many-millennials-having-children-out-of-wedlock/491753/

More fun!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternity_fraud

Oldies but goodies!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/2002/10/14/states-consider-laws-against-paternity-fraud/8095d588-76ed-498d-800d-c443ba378271/

https://thewestreport.wordpress.com/2014/10/03/washington-state-gearing-up-to-combat-paternity-fraud/

Stuff I used to look at when I worked in health insurance claims, good times..... ^^

http://www.courts.wa.gov/opinions/pdf/D2 44546-8-II Unpublished Opinion.pdf

Just for giggles, a tabloid news source.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/false-allegations-of-abus_b_8578086.html

 

[Jane_Doe]

2 hours ago, poptart said:

What do you define as middle ground?  

A person who capable of picking a spouse without excepting unrealistic Mr. Perfect and not a complete trash heap.  We are all imperfect people, but majority of us are striving to become better people and connect with others- a connection which brings joy.  Yes, marriage is work- a lot of work, but it is joy and not something that should be avoided due to paralytic "what it's".  

2 hours ago, poptart said:

  Seeb whats available out there lately?    

Yep.  I work at a college, so I see tons of people age 18-30 every day.  Majority of them are striving to be better people (even if they don't always know how and frequently fail at it).  

Edited October 11, 2017 by Jane_Doe

[Calm]

16 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

In middle school this guy had the biggest crush on one of my best friends.  It was adorable!  He carried the torch all through middle school, high school, and she (finally) accepted dating him in undergrad.  I was SO happy for them!!  And then they broke up three weeks later.  He was totally heart broken.  A few years later I was shocked when that same guy ask ME out :0 !  Two years later we said "I do" and have never been happier. 

That is so sweet.

It would be very interesting and fun to have that long of a shared history with my husband.  Could talk much more about my life before marriage and his.  As it is, we really don't know that much beyond a few friends and various traumas we have been through.   Maybe we will run out of other stuff to talk about once we hit 40 years (3 more to go) and start taking memory lane walks more.

Edited October 11, 2017 by Calm

[Darren10]

2 hours ago, The Nehor said:

I was dating one girl I fell for back in my mid-20s. One day she excitedly came to me and told me she had decided to go on a mission. While not intended this way it came across to me at the time as the Mormon equivalent of "After dating you I have decided to become a nun". It all ended well though. We kept in touch and she ended up marrying one of my best friends and helped convince me to get out of a disastrous relationship and she is one of my best friends now.

I love a happy ending. I kept in touch with all my exes so long as it was possible. Good things do come about from it.

[poptart]

12 hours ago, Calm said:

http://www.refinery29.com/2017/01/137440/divorce-rate-in-america-statistics

Yep, researchers have found that the rate of divorce in the U.S. actually peaked at about 40% around 1980 and has been declining ever since. And, according to data from the National Survey of Family Growth, the probability of a first marriage lasting at least a decade was 68% for women and 70% for men between 2006 and 2010. The probability that they would make it 20 years was 52% for women and 56% for men, so that percentage is closer to the frequently-cited "half," but still not there.

Other estimates show that three-quarters of those married in the 1990s would make it at least 15 years (compared with just 65% of those married in the 1980s). And if that current trend continues, the vast majority (about two-thirds) of marriages will never divorce...

To be fair I'm a bit fickle about sources,  I try to go with govt sources vs what looks like tabloids, so much of it is garbage.  Keep in mind,  I've had an awful life and am naturally paranoid of people in general, especially when the laws make it so easy to screw someone over.

[Amulek]

16 hours ago, poptart said:

What about the over abundance of garbage people?  Many people nowadays will die single and alone,  still a better choice than ending up miserable and screwed. 

Pro tip: Don't marry someone who you think is garbage. 

 

[The Nehor]

32 minutes ago, Amulek said:

Pro tip: Don't marry someone who you think is garbage. 

 

Why do you want to take away all hope I have of finding someone?  

[poptart]

4 hours ago, Amulek said:

Pro tip: Don't marry someone who you think is garbage. 

 

That's the problem, most people are hence why marraige isn't that pragmatic anymore.

[Amulek]

4 hours ago, The Nehor said:

5 hours ago, Amulek said:

Pro tip: Don't marry someone who you think is garbage. 

Why do you want to take away all hope I have of finding someone?  

Maybe if I get enough posts, I can have my title changed to "Destroyer of Hope." That kind of has a nice ring to it... 

[Amulek]

1 hour ago, poptart said:

That's the problem, most people are [garbage] hence why marraige isn't that pragmatic anymore.

Well, how pragmatic it is kind of depends on the search costs involved. YMMV.

[JLHPROF]

2 hours ago, poptart said:

That's the problem, most people are hence why marraige isn't that pragmatic anymore.

If you think most people are garbage then I don't think God would recommend marriage for you either.

God knows all our sins, weakness, and stupid mistakes.  And the worth of a soul is still great to him.  That is why he seeks to have us all return to him, sealed into his eternal kingdom.
If we think most people are pretty worthless, it's no wonder we aren't finding eternal companions.  You have to see the good.

[Stargazer]

On 10/10/2017 at 12:32 PM, The Nehor said:

I also have not really been in love with someone now for over a decade so that part of me may have broken a while back. Still attracted to people (physically and mentally) but the emotional connection just does not seem to be there at all. It is really annoying. Oh well.

Oh, I don't think it's broken. It's just moribund. After my wife died I was only vaguely interested in pursuing re-marriage, and was rather more interested in finding an interesting pen pal of the female variety -- I like women, generally, and thought that's what I would end up with. But then, she appeared, and changed the entire equation is very short order.

[Stargazer]

23 hours ago, poptart said:

The middle ground is a very narrow place, I think it's a little unreasonable to push marraige considering the morals of people nowadays.  They won't budge on things even though they themselves have done nothing to warrant such rampant entitlement.  

I don't think this is correct, actually. I know a fair number of single women who would make excellent and moral wives to good men. 

I think you're overgeneralizing, poptart. In fact, your complaint seems to approach the level of sour grapes.

[The Nehor]

5 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

Oh, I don't think it's broken. It's just moribund. After my wife died I was only vaguely interested in pursuing re-marriage, and was rather more interested in finding an interesting pen pal of the female variety -- I like women, generally, and thought that's what I would end up with. But then, she appeared, and changed the entire equation is very short order.

I hope so. I need an equation changer.  

[Amulek]

37 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

I hope so. I need an equation changer.  

Try this. 

[The Nehor]

5 minutes ago, Amulek said:

Try this. 

I deserved that.

[Calm]

1 hour ago, Amulek said:

Try this. 

Math joke and me with no points....

[poptart]

3 hours ago, Stargazer said:

I don't think this is correct, actually. I know a fair number of single women who would make excellent and moral wives to good men. 

I think you're overgeneralizing, poptart. In fact, your complaint seems to approach the level of sour grapes.

I told this to an LDS friend, I find a decient woman with not kids, a good job and actual Christian morals?  I'll change my mind.  Problem is, who would want me, i'm not really mentally stable. 

[Stargazer]

21 minutes ago, poptart said:

I told this to an LDS friend, I find a decient woman with not kids, a good job and actual Christian morals?  I'll change my mind.

I could introduce you to a few. When I remarried, I acquired a few nieces that exactly correspond to this formula. You'd have to come to England, however. For them, at least.

21 minutes ago, poptart said:

  Problem is, who would want me, i'm not really mentally stable. 

Well, that's another question. Some days I don't feel mentally stable either! Seriously, though, you could probably find a decent woman with no kids, a good job, actual Christian morals, and a bit mentally unstable herself! Although I am not sanguine about the prospects for the pair of you in that case. On the other hand, one of my granddaughters has some mild mental issues, and she got married to a RM who has similar issues, and they have been going strong for a few years now.

One of my sons once told me that you had to date a woman for three months at least. Because that was the only way to discover if she was irrational or not!  I told that to my wife (whom I met for the first time after emailing for two months, and married five days later). Now from time to time she gets "irrational" and tells me to let my son know he was right! Actually, we're all irrational; we only vary in how much and how often.

[Calm]

"you could probably find a decent woman with no kids, a good job, actual Christian morals, and a bit mentally unstable herself!"

My daughter qualifies, though currently not a Christian.  And after her ECT treatment at the end of the month (if all goes well), maybe not mentally unstable either.  (agnostic as she never remembers feeling the spirit and I don't think she would trust the feeling these days if she did, given how reactive her state of mind is to blood sugars, thyroid, lack of sleep).

She needs to do a lot more socializing before she will be ready for marriage though.  She has almost 15 years to make up.  She makes for a wonderful housemate as long as you don't expect much contribution to the physical state (she is a great cleaner when feeling good, but that has been missing for over a year so I get to clean up a lot).

Edited October 12, 2017 by Calm