Dating and marraige

[poptart]

Whelp, will probably get burned for this but o well.  This is more for the converts out there.  I was advised that the longer I investigate the church the more marraige will be brought up.  Just how big of a deal is it?  Unless there's a chance of me classing up income wise I really have no use for marraige especially in the states, people are kind of rotten anymore and I don't feel like going through a divorce.  Also, since I am bi I've dated men and got along better as they tend to work out like I do and usually don't desire children.  I know that will not go over well as the ideal in Christianity is heterosexual marriage.  Honestly the idea of having someone who isn't active and has their own issues isn't appealing, no one cares about mine nor was there for me when I almost overdosed on pills, why should I have to suffer with someone else who doesn't share my goals and ambitions?  Call me selfish because I am, I never counted, never will and no one else will look out for me, why should i have to be a sacrificial lamb?

[Robert F. Smith]

2 minutes ago, poptart said:

Whelp, will probably get burned for this but o well.  This is more for the converts out there.  I was advised that the longer I investigate the church the more marraige will be brought up.  Just how big of a deal is it?  Unless there's a chance of me classing up income wise I really have no use for marraige especially in the states, people are kind of rotten anymore and I don't feel like going through a divorce.  Also, since I am bi I've dated men and got along better as they tend to work out like I do and usually don't desire children.  I know that will not go over well as the ideal in Christianity is heterosexual marriage.  Honestly the idea of having someone who isn't active and has their own issues isn't appealing, no one cares about mine nor was there for me when I almost overdosed on pills, why should I have to suffer with someone else who doesn't share my goals and ambitions?  Call me selfish because I am, I never counted, never will and no one else will look out for me, why should i have to be a sacrificial lamb?

Just be who you authentically are, poptart, but within reasonable Christian boundaries.  You don't have to be married to be a good Mormon, or a good generic Christian.  Just find some good friends (at least one who shares your basic goals and can be a confidante).  Friendship can be a lot of fun.

[rpn]

It really doesn't matter how often someone brings up marriage at church or otherwise.   Yes heterosexual marriage is the way God starts families.  But He loves you where you are at, and He may even agree with you that you cannot handle marriage now.  Yes, there are single women in every ward who would love to find a righteous and good partner.   And yes, you can find a lot of companionship in being friends with other singles, and doing things together.   But you are the captain of your fate, and answerable only to God for your marriage or not decisions.   So just pay no attention if or when "you should be married" comes up.  Or if it comes from a bishop, then prayerfully consider it, making the best decision for you with Heavenly Parents and Savior who know you intimately in each moment of your life, and also know any prospective partner in the same way. 

[thesometimesaint]

Single or married, gay or straight, member or not, just be your best self.

[Jeanne]

Poptart...you find some difficult people in life...but overall, people all over are willing to be friends and love you for who you are.  Unconditional love is out there.  You be you and you will find it..all those questions you have...will find a place and priority of their own.  Take it easy.  I care about you.

[poptart]

9 hours ago, thesometimesaint said:

Single or married, gay or straight, member or not, just be your best self.

I dunno, i'm kinda rotten and selfish. 

[strappinglad]

16 minutes ago, poptart said:

I dunno, i'm kinda rotten and selfish. 

There is always being the best bad example you can be .

[poptart]

13 minutes ago, strappinglad said:

There is always being the best bad example you can be .

That's me just not caring and getting giddy when I think a riot is about to happen, free entertainment.  Yes, I'm a bit rotten and I have issues, working on it.

[Rain]

12 hours ago, poptart said:

Whelp, will probably get burned for this but o well.  This is more for the converts out there.  I was advised that the longer I investigate the church the more marraige will be brought up.  Just how big of a deal is it?  Unless there's a chance of me classing up income wise I really have no use for marraige especially in the states, people are kind of rotten anymore and I don't feel like going through a divorce.  Also, since I am bi I've dated men and got along better as they tend to work out like I do and usually don't desire children.  I know that will not go over well as the ideal in Christianity is heterosexual marriage.  Honestly the idea of having someone who isn't active and has their own issues isn't appealing, no one cares about mine nor was there for me when I almost overdosed on pills, why should I have to suffer with someone else who doesn't share my goals and ambitions?  Call me selfish because I am, I never counted, never will and no one else will look out for me, why should i have to be a sacrificial lamb?

No one who feels this way should get married. No one. 

Some will emphasize marriage. A lot. Some will not. 

Church is really about learning one line at a time and none of us is going to go through all the lines by the time we die. So you just take one little thing at a time and improve that and don't worry about it all at once. 

[poptart]

18 hours ago, Rain said:

No one who feels this way should get married. No one. 

Some will emphasize marriage. A lot. Some will not. 

Church is really about learning one line at a time and none of us is going to go through all the lines by the time we die. So you just take one little thing at a time and improve that and don't worry about it all at once. 

If only more people thought that way, so many people shouldn't get married yet they do.

[Rain]

9 minutes ago, poptart said:

If only more people thought that way, so many people shouldn't get married yet they do.

I'd like to see everyone get married - just when they are ready. If someone feels as you describe then they are not ready.

That's why it is line upon line - if we grab onto Christ and work on those little things one step at a time He will get us to where God wants each of us to be.

[poptart]

45 minutes ago, Rain said:

I'd like to see everyone get married - just when they are ready. If someone feels as you describe then they are not ready.

That's why it is line upon line - if we grab onto Christ and work on those little things one step at a time He will get us to where God wants each of us to be.

Why would you want to see everyone married?  Most people are not compatible and without the police would kill eachother. 

[Calm]

15 minutes ago, poptart said:

Why would you want to see everyone married?  Most people are not compatible and without the police would kill eachother. 

Historically speaking police or the corresponding force were not all that present and yet husbands and wives managed not to kill each other off.

[poptart]

27 minutes ago, Calm said:

Historically speaking police or the corresponding force were not all that present and yet husbands and wives managed not to kill each other off.

Times change and there are waay more of us now.  It's too easy to screw someone over in court, i'm seeing my friends go through it in divorce court now.

[Rain]

1 hour ago, poptart said:

Why would you want to see everyone married?  Most people are not compatible and without the police would kill eachother. 

My guess is you are speaking from the experiences you have had. My experience is far different. I love being married. To me, part of being ready for marriage is marrying someone who is compatible. Clearly sometimes people change after marriage, but a lot of the problems I see in my friend's marriages today were the ones I saw before they were married and the good things I see today were the good things I saw before - they just got better. 

I understand that you are not ready and may never be in this life. The hints you have given have shown me that. So if someone were to try to get you married now I would be the first one to stand and support you and say it wouldn't be wise, but as much joy as I have had in marriage I hope that some day, when you are ready, you can feel too. I'm sure that is a completely foreign concept to you and so I am ok if you don't believe it. 

 

[Calm]

56 minutes ago, poptart said:

Times change and there are waay more of us now.  It's too easy to screw someone over in court, i'm seeing my friends go through it in divorce court now.

Imo, the courts have in some ways increase the benefits of acting like jerks even if normally you wouldn't.  It is quite sad to see when it happens.

[poptart]

50 minutes ago, Rain said:

My guess is you are speaking from the experiences you have had. My experience is far different. I love being married. To me, part of being ready for marriage is marrying someone who is compatible. Clearly sometimes people change after marriage, but a lot of the problems I see in my friend's marriages today were the ones I saw before they were married and the good things I see today were the good things I saw before - they just got better. 

I understand that you are not ready and may never be in this life. The hints you have given have shown me that. So if someone were to try to get you married now I would be the first one to stand and support you and say it wouldn't be wise, but as much joy as I have had in marriage I hope that some day, when you are ready, you can feel too. I'm sure that is a completely foreign concept to you and so I am ok if you don't believe it. 

 

Considering the domestic abuse i've had to see from others as a child and adult i've seen waaay more bad than good.  I've just had it.  I'll admit it, i'm a huge pain to deal with and have no patience, not to mention i'd suck at raising children, besides not really liking them, not only are they rediculously expensive now i have an awful temper so I wouldn't expect anyone to tolorate me.

42 minutes ago, Calm said:

Imo, the courts have in some ways increase the benefits of acting like jerks even if normally you wouldn't.  It is quite sad to see when it happens.

It was always the nice people I knew who were screwed.

[Stargazer]

On 6/26/2017 at 7:51 AM, poptart said:

Whelp, will probably get burned for this but o well.  This is more for the converts out there.  I was advised that the longer I investigate the church the more marraige will be brought up.  Just how big of a deal is it?  Unless there's a chance of me classing up income wise I really have no use for marraige especially in the states, people are kind of rotten anymore and I don't feel like going through a divorce.  Also, since I am bi I've dated men and got along better as they tend to work out like I do and usually don't desire children.  I know that will not go over well as the ideal in Christianity is heterosexual marriage.  Honestly the idea of having someone who isn't active and has their own issues isn't appealing, no one cares about mine nor was there for me when I almost overdosed on pills, why should I have to suffer with someone else who doesn't share my goals and ambitions?  Call me selfish because I am, I never counted, never will and no one else will look out for me, why should i have to be a sacrificial lamb?

You're saying it's more for the converts, and though I was a convert from my youth (age 15), it might be said that I am more of a born Mormon, in some ways. But let me take a stab at it anyway.

After my wife passed away in 2015 I didn't really expect to find anyone really compatible with me. In fact, I was quite prepared to go it alone for the rest of my life (was 64 at the time, so that might be easier than if I were 34).  In some ways, if I had been gay or bi, I might have found a man to be more comfortable, due to convergent preferences.  You know, guys can sometimes relate to each other more than girls can.  But three months later, while not really seriously looking I found an amazing widow woman who was nine years my junior, and she is the most compatible person I have ever met, not excluding my late wife.  She's quite feminine, and not at all manly, but I feel that with her I am "one of the guys" in many ways.  She's very genuine and open, and I don't feel like I have to act the part of being a manly man around her -- which was frequently a challenge with my late wife -- I can just be myself.  She also cares for me and about me in ways I had never imagined.  Where I have goals and ambitions that she doesn't share, she is supportive of my achieving them anyway.  For instance, I want to write a science fiction novel, and she encourages me in this, has read my initial scribblings and has given me excellent feedback.  I'm a firearms enthusiast, and when I took her out shooting (and as a Brit she had never so much as touched a gun) she was happy to do so, and enjoyed it quite honestly (except for my 12 gauge shotgun with its lovely recoil!).  Along with all that, I've developed some new goals and ambitions that involve what she is interested in!  And since she's past the menopause, no danger of having babies.

I believe that there are a sufficiency of women out there who would care about you as much as you care about yourself, and who would look out for you better than you could look out for yourself.  And then you would find yourself being drawn out to care about someone else more than you cared about yourself.  Believe me, it's was a big surprise to find myself in such an amazing relationship.  I know I was no perfect husband to my late wife (with whom I expect to be with for eternity), but my lovely non-eternal wife seems to be training me by her love to be a better husband that I had ever imagined.  

They're out there, poptart.  There is very likely some woman who would suit you just fine -- if you're bi, then it seems possible that it would be do-able. I've been in three marriages, with the first one being quite a misfire, but despite that one I've found marriage to be the best blessing I've had in this mortal life.  

And the advice of The Rolling Stones is sometimes applicable: You can't always get what you want, but sometimes you can get what you need.

So don't lose hope.  Maybe you have to wait until you mellow out, and maybe it takes a long time to do so.  But things change, including ourselves.

PS: One of my uncles almost got married after he came home from the Korean War, but broke it off for some reason.  It turned out that he felt he was more gay than straight, and he spent the next fifty years in same sex relationships, one of them lasting something like thirty years.  In a strange turn of events, however, he ended up marrying the wife (female, btw) of his last gay significant other after he passed away due to AIDS.  They are apparently doing fine together.  He's in his 80's now.

Edited June 28, 2017 by Stargazer

[Calm]

7 hours ago, poptart said:

 

It was always the nice people I knew who were screwed.

It generally is.

[Meerkat]

On 6/27/2017 at 3:32 PM, poptart said:

Why would you want to see everyone married?  

Because, as you said, (many) people are not compatible with each other.  I believe we came to earth to learn how to get along and reach a point where we love one another as Jesus loves us.   We can't learn those things without some initial opposition to work through. Marriage is the perfect place to learn those things.  Dealing with a spouse, learning to sacrifice for children, etc. help us get past ourselves and on to important life lessons, in my opinion.  Granted, I was wrong once.  What do you think is the purpose our f life, poptart?

[poptart]

17 hours ago, Meerkat said:

Because, as you said, (many) people are not compatible with each other.  I believe we came to earth to learn how to get along and reach a point where we love one another as Jesus loves us.   We can't learn those things without some initial opposition to work through. Marriage is the perfect place to learn those things.  Dealing with a spouse, learning to sacrifice for children, etc. help us get past ourselves and on to important life lessons, in my opinion.  Granted, I was wrong once.  What do you think is the purpose our f life, poptart?

Lol i've been asked that before, I don't give happy answers but atleast they're my honest opinion.  You know, it's always someone from the church who asks me something like that, what they think life's purpose is, any reason why?
Anyway, who says life needs a purpose?  Why not it's own purpose?  We evolved from different origins (I tend to go with various hominids, don't think we all came from one ancestor from Africa)

And in addition to adapting we killed anything in our way to become the dominant species.  Spiritually, while I don't believe in literal diety as a lot of people in the states claim to (lie is more like it, I think anyway) The gods were like us with all our faults.  Don't know if you know the story of the runes, much like Christ (the tale is far older FYI) hung himself on Yggdrasil and decended in the underworld to gain the runes of power for himself.  Those he gave to humans, his finest creation.  (Ironically, Odin did not make men himself although they were handcrafted from the finest wood, sounds a lot nicer than the Semetic version of mud I think)  Long story short, he gave us the means to survive, thrive and become mighty.  Now why I don't literally believe this (as do most people who follow the old path in places like Iceland, Denmark and other parts of the Nordic/Germanic world) it serves a purpose, together as a folk/people we can achieve mighty things. 

Jesus was/is an awesome person, for being sold out by his own race and still being that forgiving?  wow thats just simply amazing, if I was Christ I would have wiped out my betrayers without a second thought, but thats me.  Now on marriage, if Christianity as an institution would condemn divorce, out of wedlock birth, encourage (I emphasize this part) strong moral families and a society that truly looks out for the nation and people as well as condemning degeneracy to the point of making a crusade out of it?  Then I would take the christian/Christ-based idea of marraige a bit more seriously, but as far as I can tell thats not happening in the states anytime soon.  Also, I absolutly hate american children as a rule, my mom would have wailed the tar out of me for half the garbage the little monsters pull and get away with.  I'm bi and have no qualms with a boyfriend who doesn't have the ability to have kids (yet) and would more likely than not have my values on money and other material necessities, but if the church could/would provide something like the USA had in the 50's, well, guaruntee you a lot more people would agree with your idea of marraige, to me however it's like playing russian rulette with a cartrage in 5 of the 6 chambers. 

Edited July 11, 2017 by poptart

[Meerkat]

6 hours ago, poptart said:

Lol i've been asked that before, I don't give happy answers but atleast they're my honest opinion.  You know, it's always someone from the church who asks me something like that, what they think life's purpose is, any reason why?
Anyway, who says life needs a purpose?  Why not it's own purpose?  We evolved from different origins (I tend to go with various hominids, don't think we all came from one ancestor from Africa)

And in addition to adapting we killed anything in our way to become the dominant species.  Spiritually, while I don't believe in literal diety as a lot of people in the states claim to (lie is more like it, I think anyway) The gods were like us with all our faults.  Don't know if you know the story of the runes, much like Christ (the tale is far older FYI) hung himself on Yggdrasil and decended in the underworld to gain the runes of power for himself.  Those he gave to humans, his finest creation.  (Ironically, Odin did not make men himself although they were handcrafted from the finest wood, sounds a lot nicer than the Semetic version of mud I think)  Long story short, he gave us the means to survive, thrive and become mighty.  Now why I don't literally believe this (as do most people who follow the old path in places like Iceland, Denmark and other parts of the Nordic/Germanic world) it serves a purpose, together as a folk/people we can achieve mighty things. 

Jesus was/is an awesome person, for being sold out by his own race and still being that forgiving?  wow thats just simply amazing, if I was Christ I would have wiped out my betrayers without a second thought, but thats me.  Now on marriage, if Christianity as an institution would condemn divorce, out of wedlock birth, encourage (I emphasize this part) strong moral families and a society that truly looks out for the nation and people as well as condemning degeneracy to the point of making a crusade out of it?  Then I would take the christian/Christ-based idea of marraige a bit more seriously, but as far as I can tell thats not happening in the states anytime soon.  Also, I absolutly hate american children as a rule, my mom would have wailed the tar out of me for half the garbage the little monsters pull and get away with.  I'm bi and have no qualms with a boyfriend who doesn't have the ability to have kids (yet) and would more likely than not have my values on money and other material necessities, but if the church could/would provide something like the USA had in the 50's, well, guaruntee you a lot more people would agree with your idea of marraige, to me however it's like playing russian rulette with a cartrage in 5 of the 6 chambers. 

Hi Poptart.  I can see you are a deep thinker and enjoy philosophizing and stirring the pot.  You and probably most people on this board are deeper thinkers than I am.  Still, I enjoy your thoughts on some of these things.  My thoughts on Christ and religion have developed out of a persona relationship with Him.  He took my discouraged and discouraging life and turned it into something beautiful.  I can't and won't deny it because it is very real to me.  I see the fruits of following Jesus Christ every day.  So I won't argue my evolution, although I find it interesting.  I'm not real concerned about it one way or another.  I am concerned about following Christ.

Here are some thoughts from a philosopher that I enjoy, C. S. Lewis: "

“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’ All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened.”

— "The Great Divorce"

That has been my experience also.  I am convinced that it can also be yours.

Here is another quotation of his that I like, and you may find yourself in this one:

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations — these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit — immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. ... Next to the blessed sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.”

— "The Weight of Glory"

God's evidence is very convincing.  I hope you ask, at some point, that He may give it to you.

[poptart]

1 hour ago, Meerkat said:

Hi Poptart.  I can see you are a deep thinker and enjoy philosophizing and stirring the pot.  You and probably most people on this board are deeper thinkers than I am.  Still, I enjoy your thoughts on some of these things.  My thoughts on Christ and religion have developed out of a persona relationship with Him.  He took my discouraged and discouraging life and turned it into something beautiful.  I can't and won't deny it because it is very real to me.  I see the fruits of following Jesus Christ every day.  So I won't argue my evolution, although I find it interesting.  I'm not real concerned about it one way or another.  I am concerned about following Christ.

Here are some thoughts from a philosopher that I enjoy, C. S. Lewis: "

“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’ All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened.”

— "The Great Divorce"

That has been my experience also.  I am convinced that it can also be yours.

Here is another quotation of his that I like, and you may find yourself in this one:

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations — these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit — immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. ... Next to the blessed sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.”

— "The Weight of Glory"

God's evidence is very convincing.  I hope you ask, at some point, that He may give it to you.

Question I would ask, what benefit in the temporal world did you gain?  That's a good chunk of practical religious experience, what does it gain you in the here and now.  You know, personally the idea of an all powerful all merciful god makes me cringe just a bit, if he is real and he allows all this than he is either not all powerful or is not all good, he can't be both.  Here's something from someone waaay more scientific than I am. 

Also, that i somewhat disagree with, nations, cultures, arts and civilizations all course through the lifeblood of our neibors.  People give birth to nation states, culture and eventually our nation states civilization which enables us to continue for so long as we are able.  Blood and soil is everything, with out it we are nothing.  Also, I am naturally leary of the whole love everyone speech, been my experience IRL those who say things like that are often the trashier class of people.  No offense, but i've met plenty of people who preached that who in my moment of need favored their own, just like the rest of us.  Now, if through some miracle someone or a group of people were to really, I mean really come along, treat me deciently and i somehow became middle or upper middle class then yes I would absolutly consider your point but i know thats not happening especially in this day an age. 

 

[poptart]

2 hours ago, Meerkat said:

Hi Poptart.  I can see you are a deep thinker and enjoy philosophizing and stirring the pot.  You and probably most people on this board are deeper thinkers than I am.  Still, I enjoy your thoughts on some of these things.  My thoughts on Christ and religion have developed out of a persona relationship with Him.  He took my discouraged and discouraging life and turned it into something beautiful.  I can't and won't deny it because it is very real to me.  I see the fruits of following Jesus Christ every day.  So I won't argue my evolution, although I find it interesting.  I'm not real concerned about it one way or another.  I am concerned about following Christ.

Here are some thoughts from a philosopher that I enjoy, C. S. Lewis: "

“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’ All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened.”

— "The Great Divorce"

That has been my experience also.  I am convinced that it can also be yours.

Here is another quotation of his that I like, and you may find yourself in this one:

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations — these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit — immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. ... Next to the blessed sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.”

— "The Weight of Glory"

God's evidence is very convincing.  I hope you ask, at some point, that He may give it to you.

Wanted to ask something else, how has this benefited you in your professional life?  Has it brought you more success?  Also since you brought this up. why just your god? 

Edited July 11, 2017 by poptart

[Meerkat]

3 hours ago, poptart said:

Wanted to ask something else, how has this benefited you in your professional life?  Has it brought you more success?  Also since you brought this up. why just your god? 

Many years ago, I fancied myself as quite smart.  I was an athiest.  I reasoned that if there had been a just God, he would not condemn anyone for any conclusion they came to through their God given ability to reason.  So I did not believe.  What could I possibly gain?

After discharge from the Army, I landed at Nimitz Honda, Triumph and BMW selling motorcycles in Honolulu.  It was a great gig for a 22 year old, and I was able to save a little money.

One day, I thought "I'm earning enough money.  I probably ought to give some to charity.  But how much, and to which one?"

"Ten percent" came easily to mind." I called my parents in Tacoma for their advice.  My Mother was a public health nurse working with down and out people on Pacific Avenue.  She said "If it were me, I'd give to the Tacoma Rescue Mission.  They help a lot if people and could use the money."

So I began donating to the Mission.  An interesting thing happened at work.  People would walk through the door, past the mine field of other salesman and approach me. "I have this money I've saved.  What motorcycle do you recommend?"

My business took off.  I wondered "What has changed?"  My mind made the connection "It has to do with the money you are giving to charity."  It was obvious to me.

Later, as I recognized God guiding my thoughts from time to time, I came across a scripture where Jesus said in John 7:17 "If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself."  I had done that thing due to a spiritual impression, and I knew I had experienced a miracle in my life.  

Later, my wife to be and I dated by attending different churches trying to find where God would have us worship.  When we met with the Mormons, one of the things they taught was tithing. They read a scripture from Malachi 3:8 "Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.
9 Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.
10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."

I had done it.  And I had proved to my own satisfaction that the scripture was true and no one with any amount of cynicism or sophistry could take that from me.  I knew what I knew and why I knew it.  Experimenting with the other things the Missionaries taught me, I came to the knowledge the Gospel, as taught in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is true.  I own that knowledge too, regardless of any complaint about fallible human beings God works with to lead His Church. 

I have had many ups and downs in my life.  I have never been greatly successful.  But when I have been against the wall, not knowing how things would turn out, I called out to God in faith and received the guidance and help I needed.  I have witnessed a constant stream of miracles in my own life, and I thank God for what I know.  I also thank Him for every faith strengtheni g experience that has given me this knowledge.  I know that if God will do this for me, who had been least grateful and very cynical, I know He will do it for you, Poptart, if you ask and follow God's prompting.  He knows you and what you are going through, and He loves you.

As Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said in his Psalm of Life:

"Life is real, life is earnest, and the grave is not it's goal.  Dust thou art to dust returned was not spoken of the soul."

You are on a good track, Poptart, and closer to the answers you seek than you may realize.  May God bless you in your search.