Would You Teach A Historical Truth If You Knew It Would Cause Doubts?

[Hamba Tuhan]

The hardest for me is when members ask me about what issues I have with the church.

Oh, I wish someone would ask me that question.

[Duncan]

Can we make sure the following is included in the next set of manuals. I'd never read it before and it made me fully laugh out loud for several minutes:

President Heber C. Kimball, made at the Bowery, Great Salt Lake City, July 12, 1857.

http://en.fairmormon..._Discourses/5/7

I'm so glad I no longer believe that even when the prophets think they are speaking as prophets they actually sometimes aren't.

you know that brother Marsh rejoined the Church in 1857?

[Hamba Tuhan]

What!--sustain a woman, a wife, in preference to sustaining the Prophet Joseph, brother Brigham, and his brethren! Your religion is vain when you take that course. Well, my wife may say, "If you will sustain Brigham in preference to me, I will leave you." I should reply, "Leave, and be damned!" and that very quickly.

One of my ward mission leaders arrived home from ward council one evening to find his non-member wife fuming. She had, she said, reached an conclusion: he could have only one love in his love, her or the Church. The next time I saw him, he'd moved out into a flat. He knew far too much, he told me, to make the wrong choice.

[cdowis]

bu11fr0g, on 25 July 2013 - 06:31 AM, said:

The hardest for me is when members ask me about what issues I have with the church.

Answer the question they are *really* asking -->

"What should I do when I have doubts."

Edited July 25, 2013 by cdowis

[Hamba Tuhan]

you know that brother Marsh rejoined the Church in 1857?

I see, the Lord could get along very well without me and He has lost nothing by my falling out of the ranks, But O what have I lost ?! Riches Greater Riches than all this world or many planets like this could afford ... (Thomas B. Marsh to Heber C. Kimball, 5 May 1857).

I became jealous of the Prophet, and then I saw double, and overlooked everything that was right, and spent all my time in looking for the evil ... I was blinded, and I thought I saw a beam in brother Joseph's eye, but it was nothing but a mote, and my own eye was filled with the beam ... I got mad, and I wanted everybody else to be mad. I talked with Brother Brigham and Brother Heber, and I wanted them to be mad like myself; and I saw they were not mad, and I got madder still ... (Thomas B. Marsh to the Saints, 6 Sept. 1857).

Edited July 25, 2013 by Hamba Tuhan

[cdowis]

And he was received with open arms and forgiveness for the persecution that he caused.

[Ahab]

I don't doubt your desire or intentions, I just think that we need to be careful to come off as respectful of other's questions and struggles with faith. Perhaps the wording on your last question could be modified, that's all. It comes of as snarky and condemning. It's kind of like you are saying, "duh! You should know this and be living it." I'm sure that's not what you intended.

Oh good grief. Sometimes our brothers and sisters need a little help to put things in perspective, pogi.

I intended the questions I posed to be considered in succession with the final one intended to get the person answering to think something like: Oh yeah, I do need to be careful about how I think of things, don't I?

There's no call for you to judge me as being snarky and condemning just because I'm trying to help someone see the larger perspective, which is basically: What does God think about this?

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own thoughts that we don't remember to ask God what he thinks.

[Ahab]

I believe he could have written the BoM. But not as a scam. I think he really believed in the work. Js really was confused with what was out there and wanted truth, probably didn't believe a lot of what was being preached. And felt inspiration to start his own church that held a better afterlife belief. I believe he could have worked on it for several years, not several months. So still a faithful approach if you take in account he may have made up a few things to get the church on it's feet.

You seem to be offering me an opportunity to teach you a historical truth while you already have doubts.

The question posed in the OP was: Would You Teach A Historical Truth If You Knew It Would Cause Doubts?

[canard78]

you know that brother Marsh rejoined the Church in 1857?

I do. I'm very familiar with the whole story of the much maligned Brother Marsh. I wish the church would tell the story properly.

And I have an inkling the milk story is folklore, or hugely exagerated.

[canard78]

One of my ward mission leaders arrived home from ward council one evening to find his non-member wife fuming. She had, she said, reached an conclusion: he could have only one love in his love, her or the Church. The next time I saw him, he'd moved out into a flat. He knew far too much, he told me, to make the wrong choice.

I know you won't agree. But I think he did make the wrong choice.

[canard78]

And he was received with open arms and forgiveness for the persecution that he caused.

His humilty was impressive and would be a wonderful resource for teaching a lesson. The saints welcome home was too. It's a proper prodigal son story. Maybe his willingness to speak up against the brutality of the Danites and could be used as an example of doing what is right in the face of adversity.

But I'm guessing they'll leave off the Brigham special that came right after Thomas' expression of contrition:

Brigham Young:

I presume that brother Marsh will take no offence if I talk a little about him. We have manifested our feelings towards him, and we know his situation. With regard to this Church's being reconciled to him, I can say that this Church and people were never dissatisfied with him; for when men and women apostatize and go from us, we have nothing to do with them. If they do that which is evil, they will suffer for it. Brother Marsh has suffered... In conversing with brother Marsh, I find that he is about the same Thomas that he always was—full of anecdotes and chit-chat. He could hardly converse for ten minutes without telling an anecdote. His voice and style of conversation are familiar to me.

He has told you that he is an old man. Do you think that I am an old man? I could prove to this congre[ga]tion that I am young; for I could find more girls who would choose me for a husband than can any of the young men.

Brother Thomas considers himself very aged and infirm, and you can see that he is, brethren and sisters. What is the cause of it? He left the Gospel of salvation. What do you think the difference is between his age and mine? One year and seven months to a day; and he is one year, seven months, and fourteen days older than brother Heber C. Kimball.

"Mormonism" keeps men and women young and handsome; and when they are full of the Spirit of God, there are none of them but what will have a glow upon their countenances; and that is what makes you and me young; for the Spirit of God is with us and within us.

When brother Thomas thought of returning to the Church, the plurality of wives troubled him a good deal. Look at him. Do you think it need to? I do not; for I doubt whether he could get one wife. Why it should have troubled an infirm old man like him is not for me to say. He read brother Orson Pratt's work upon that subject, and discovered that the doctrine was beautiful, consistent, and exalting, and that the kingdom could not be perfect without it. Neither can it be perfect without a great many things that the people do not yet understand, though they will come in the own due time of the Lord.

REMARKS BY PRESIDENT BRIGHAM YOUNG, INTRODUCING BROTHER THOMAS B. MARSH, DELIVERED IN THE BOWERY, GREAT SALT LAKE CITY, ON SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 6th, 1857; REMARKS BY THOMAS B. MARSH

http://pt.fairmormon.org/Journal_of_Discourses/5/34

Anyone know what 'Orson Pratt's work on the subject' of polygamy was?

[Questing Beast]

...

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own thoughts that we don't remember to ask God what he thinks.

Certainty is often a dangerous thing. So you "know what God thinks", and I know what God thinks, and your certainty and my certainty clash, then over time rankle until "this world ain't big enough for the two of us". How do you prevent that, exactly?

Certainty, that you know the mind of God, is several magnitudes more dangerous than simple, mundane certainty....

[BlueDreams]

Under what conditions would you tell such a person about the Priesthood Ban? Meaning, the plain truth of that part of LDS history totally contradicts their ability to stay in the Church.

I would....from what I've seen people are often more resilient about it than first expected. I would be careful not to flood them with information though. I've seen that and know it can be overwhelming. And it would need to be someone that I knew I could talk to on more than one occasion about it.

Another thing that I would want to discuss, whether in the midst or before even discussing the ban more extensively, is this higher bar set for the church than God has ever set for the people to be "chosen" or true or whatever else they were described as. History is messy. The OT is crazy and the BoM has plenty of racial and divisive tensions that if you read enough between the lines it becomes quite obvious that the Nephites (and those affiliated) weren't exactly innocent and perfect throughout much of their 1000 yr history with them. I think that sort of expectation, ones of near perfect actions from the past, is bound to lead to disappointment and breaking, whether it's the initial issue or others that may be found along the way.

Of course this is an ideal. From the ones I've read or heard about, often there's not someone there and open and present to immediately discuss concerns with. Often they won't just come out an say, I'd never be apart of a church that has done ______. Often, because they perceive the information as taboo, it may take a while of scrounging around and digging things up, often with little context or understanding that leaves them even more confused and disillusioned. And somewhere in the middle of that one will hear about their concerns and for this hypothetical person, those concerns may have already become serious doubts or conflicts of faith that I feel can be even harder to navigate. At this point, I'd probably state that I'm aware (though maybe not proficient) in many of them and that they do not necessarily define your faith....as well as why they haven't for myself. I'd probably discuss more about faith and trust in God first before delving into what they'd found.

Because once it's found, there's no un-finding it. There will be plenty of counter quotes, just on the ban alone, that would indicate a more complicated issue, but not one that can be cleanly stated as not racist or 100% PC in our terms today. It'll be less about finding that quote or document or idea that will make it all right again, but how faith and trust in the church can continue.

With luv,

BD

Edited July 25, 2013 by BlueDreams

[Tacenda]

http://mormonhistoryguy.wordpress.com/2013/07/25/faith-crises-a-believers-guide/

This article might be helpful to some of you.

[canard78]

I believe he could have written the BoM. But not as a scam. I think he really believed in the work. Js really was confused with what was out there and wanted truth, probably didn't believe a lot of what was being preached. And felt inspiration to start his own church that held a better afterlife belief. I believe he could have worked on it for several years, not several months. So still a faithful approach if you take in account he may have made up a few things to get the church on it's feet.

Hi Tacenda. I don't believe Joseph could have written the book by himself.

Is there a God who communicates with his children or not? I believe there is.

I accept that Confucius, Buddha, Plato and other were inspired to create reference material to help some of God's children on their journey towards godliness. So I am happy to accept that God also inspired Joseph Smith to create some more. Did he do it by first inspiring Nephi, then Mormon, then Joseph? Or just Joseph with no existant Nephi/Mormon? I'm not sure any more.

But one thing I firmly believe, the Book of Mormon is of devine origins. Brother Turley, at the Swedish fireside, said:

"When Joseph used the term “translate,” he meant revelation."

So it doesn't matter to me whether or not there were plates or Nephites or barges that were tight like unto a dish (even though there could well have been)... because I love the Book of Mormon. And for me, the words of the book, of whatever origin, are divine scripture.

Would I teach it all this way in Sunday school? No, because many people need absolutes.

Brené Brown said:

The other thing we do is we make everything that's uncertain certain. Religion has gone from a belief in faith and mystery to certainty. I'm right, you're wrong. Shut up. That's it. Just certain.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

Mormonism is especially good for people who seek certainty. And that's ok. God creates options of certainty for those who need it. I appreciate the for those who need certainty, my saying that is potentially removing or challenging some of the certainty. Which is why I tend to stay quiet at church on matters I consider to be uncertain.

[Danzo]

I know you won't agree. But I think he did make the wrong choice.

If only he had you around to advise him.

[Danzo]

I do. I'm very familiar with the whole story of the much maligned Brother Marsh. I wish the church would tell the story properly.

And I have an inkling the milk story is folklore, or hugely exagerated.

Brother Marsh doesn't seem to agree with you, but what is his opinion worth?

[canard78]

Brother Marsh doesn't seem to agree with you, but what is his opinion worth?

He doesn't agree with me? On the milk strippings? I wasn't aware that he confirmed the story?

[canard78]

If only he had you around to advise him.

I wouldn't have. I don't give unsolicited advice. But if he'd have asked, I'd have told him to not throw away his marriage under any circumstances. To stay true to the woman he loves.

Because in all likelihood the wife wasn't really asking him to choose her or the church. She was expressing insecurity and uncertainty. She wanted to know that he cared for her and wasn't sidelining her. Anyone can attend a church meeting. Only he was able to be her husband. And if he moved out because she threatened his ability to go to more meetings then he missed an opportunity to show her what true love was.

But he didn't ask, so I wouldn't say it.

[canard78]

http://mormonhistory...elievers-guide/

This article might be helpful to some of you.

I really enjoyed reading that. Practical, yet sensitive.

[Duncan]

I do. I'm very familiar with the whole story of the much maligned Brother Marsh. I wish the church would tell the story properly.

And I have an inkling the milk story is folklore, or hugely exagerated.

The Church made a video about the disaffliation of bro. Marsh, although I can't seem to find it right now! haha! i'll continue the hunt! IIRC it talks about how he felt passed over when Joseph Smith sent some Q12 to England in 1837 resulting in DC 112, this video doesn't deal anything with milk!

[Danzo]

He doesn't agree with me? On the milk strippings? I wasn't aware that he confirmed the story?

He was there to refute the story. In law this is called admission by silence .

Also, I was mainly referring to your "Much maligned" part of the quote. He admitted that he was the one in the wrong. Even to the extent of traveling to Utah.

Edited July 25, 2013 by Danzo

[Danzo]

I wouldn't have. I don't give unsolicited advice. But if he'd have asked, I'd have told him to not throw away his marriage under any circumstances. To stay true to the woman he loves.

Because in all likelihood the wife wasn't really asking him to choose her or the church. She was expressing insecurity and uncertainty. She wanted to know that he cared for her and wasn't sidelining her. Anyone can attend a church meeting. Only he was able to be her husband. And if he moved out because she threatened his ability to go to more meetings then he missed an opportunity to show her what true love was.

But he didn't ask, so I wouldn't say it.

It would appear, though, that you are in the habit of judging without knowledge. Sometimes staying with someone is the right thing to do, sometimes moving out is. I give the man in the story of the benefit of the doubt, in that he did what was right for him. In my marriage (and we have discussed this many times) our commitment to god always comes before the commitment to each other. And, as difficult as this may seem to you, This strengthens our marriage and makes us closer.

[DBMormon]

In all this discussion of doubts and Swedish LDS, there is an underlying assumption that rarely gets questioned, and it raises an issue that I think each LDS needs to resolve before they would consider the problem of "doubts".

There may be a subset of LDS membership who hold an aversion to specific acts or principles, and they would not want to be a member of any Church that has these acts or principles in its history. In other words, the only reason they are still members of the LDS Church is because they don't know certain things about our history!

For example, suppose you came to understand that a fellow ward member did not know about the Priesthood Ban, and they expressed very, very strong feelings that they would never be a member of a Church that would racially discriminate who does or doesn't get the priesthood. They have expressed 100% certainty that they absolutely could not abide such a religion under any circumstances.

Under what conditions would you tell such a person about the Priesthood Ban? Meaning, the plain truth of that part of LDS history totally contradicts their ability to stay in the Church.

I understand the theory that spiritual confirmations and testimony can overcome any objection, but I suspect this isn't the case for all LDS.

So, if I am right and there are certain subsets of people who absolutely will not be able to overcome their objections to different aspects of Church history or policies to which they are currently unaware, how would this change the way the Church approaches the "rescue" of doubters?

I think it would have a very positive effect on interactions between those who would "rescue", and the doubters. Ultimately, I think the best approach for "rescuers" would be the following:

1. Define the issue

2. Put the issue in full historical or doctrinal context

3. Probe for any misinformation, misassumptions or error and try to correct them

4. Acknowledge "gray areas" and unanswered questions about the issue.

5. Offer different ways the issue might be incorporated into continued belief.

Above all, "rescuers" and "doubters" should understand that the object of the discussion isn't to try and return the doubter to their former state of faith in God and attitude towards the Church. Everyone should be clear that this isn't possible. Instead, the object is to help the doubter to form a new faith in God and attitude towards the Church that incorporates these problematic issues.

For some people, this new state is better than what they had before. For others, it's just different. And for others, it's worse.

In other words, if a "rescuer" is not also trained and prepared to be an "exit counselor" if that time comes, they'll never be totally effective.

Cinepro, I just want to say this op was beautiful. FAIR has taken on a project. It is a discussion board where people can come with doubts to get help in a faithful arena. Check out how similar their guidelines are to yours points. There was a group of us who put this together and as we discussed what works and how a "guide" should assist thise in doubts this was the cream that rose to the top. I will add, I wish all could grasp what helps and what doesn't. Too often people are quick to simply answer the doubter's question and make it seem so negative on the questioner for having doubts and questins in the first place. These rules apply even if one is angry or "feels" betrayed

http://www.fairmormo...aith-crisis-101

Faith Crisis 101

It is personal . . .

Faith Crisis are personal, and occur for a multitude of reasons. What is at the root of each, however, is a loss of trust and a feeling of betrayal. Quite often a leader or member says or does something that causes us to question our confidence in the authenticity claims of the Church. Sometimes, information we were not aware of confuses us, or causes us to challenge our own assumptions about what is right, or what should be right. Sometimes, new information is difficult to interpret, and can be presented in a light that undermines our confidence. However, in every case, the loss of trust or confidence challenges our ability to choose to have faith in the gospel and the restoration.

What to believe?

Richard Bushman, Professor of History emeritus at Columbia University said this about a faith crisis based on historical or doctrinal reasons:

“When they come across this information in a critical book or read it on one of the innumerable critical Internet sites, they feel as if they had been introduced to a Joseph Smith and a Church history they had never known before. They undergo an experience like viewing the famous picture of a beautiful woman who in a blink of an eye turns into an old hag. Everything changes. What are they to believe?

You are not helping!

The reactions we receive from those we turn to sometimes undermines our need for empathy and help. Bushman continues speaking of this when he states,

“Often church leaders, parents, and friends, do not understand the force of this alternate view. Not knowing how to respond, they react defensively. They are inclined to dismiss all the evidence as anti-Mormon or of the devil. Stop reading these things if they upset you so much, the inquirer is told. Or go back to the familiar formula: scriptures, prayer, church attendance.”

He continues explaining how that is not productive and what it does to the person struggling when he continues,

“The troubled person may have been doing all of these things sincerely, perhaps even desperately. He or she feels the world is falling apart. Everything these inquirers put their trust in starts to crumble. They want guidance more than ever in their lives, but they don’t seem to get it. The facts that have been presented to them challenge almost everything they believe. People affected in this way may indeed stop praying; they don’t trust the old methods because they feel betrayed by the old system. Frequently they are furious. On their missions they fervently taught people about Joseph Smith without knowing any of these negative facts. Were they taken advantage of? Was the Church trying to fool them for its own purposes? These are deeply disturbing questions. They shake up everything. Should I stay in the Church? Should I tell my family? Should I just shut up and try to get along? Who can help me?”

A necessary shift!

Bushman continues to describe what has to change for one in crisis to move through it and regain faith. In describing these “reconciled” Latter-Day Saints, he says,

“[Reconciled] individuals recover their belief in the basic principles and events but are never quite the same as before. Their knowledge, although no longer toxic, gives them a new perspective. They tend to be more philosophic and less dogmatic about all the stories they once enjoyed. Here are some of the characteristics of people who have passed through this ordeal but managed to revive most of their old beliefs.

• They often say they learned the Prophet was human. They don’t expect him to be a model of perfect deportment as they once thought. He may have taken a glass of wine from time to time, or scolded his associates, or even have made business errors. They see his virtues and believe in his revelations but don’t expect perfection.
  
• They also don’t believe he was led by revelation in every detail. They see him as learning gradually to be a prophet and having to feel his way at times like most Church members. In between the revelations, he was left to himself to work out the methods of complying with the Lord’s commandments. Sometimes he had to experiment until he found the right way.
  
• These newly revived Latter-day Saints also develop a more philosophical attitude toward history. They come to see (like professional historians) that facts can have many interpretations. Negative facts are not necessarily as damning as they appear at first sight. Put in another context along side other facts, they do not necessarily destroy Joseph Smith’s reputation.
  
• Revived Latter-day Saints focus on the good things they derive from their faith–the community of believers, the comforts of the Holy Spirit, the orientation toward the large questions of life, contact with God, moral discipline, and many others. They don’t want to abandon these good things. Starting from that point of desired belief, they are willing to give Joseph Smith and the doctrine a favorable hearing. They may not be absolutely certain about every item, but they are inclined to see the good and the true in the Church.”
  

The far side of the struggle!

As he concludes professor Bushman emphasizes how this “revived” state is more realistic and more rewarding then the pre-crisis paradigm when he says,

“At the heart of this turmoil is the question of trust. Disillusioned Latter-day Saints feel their trust has been betrayed. They don’t know whom to trust. They don’t dare trust the old feelings that once were so powerful, nor do they trust church leaders. They can only trust the new knowledge they have acquired. Those who come back to the Church are inclined to trust their old feelings. Their confidence in the good things they knew before is at least partially restored. But they sort out the goodness that seems still vital from the parts that now seem no longer tenable. Knowledge not only has given them a choice, it has compelled them to choose. They have to decide what they really believe. In the end, many are more stable and convinced than before. They feel better prepared to confront criticism openly, confident they can withstand it.”

Helping those around us.

This forum also serves to help those who seek to assist others who are struggling through a crisis of faith. Professor Bushman also speaks to such individuals when he says,

“We began by agreeing that criticisms of Joseph Smith should not be dismissed as foolish or purely evil. The negative attacks that disturb first-time readers are usually based on facts, not merely prejudiced fabrications. To play down the force of the criticism, we believe, only convinces the seekers that we do not understand. We appear to be sweeping trouble under the rug. They may have been devastated by a criticism; we must show that we understand why. Consequently, the seminar took as its first principle to state the negative argument as fully and accurately as we can. We try not to minimize the difficulty or prejudice the case against the critic. In no other way can we persuade the doubters that we understand the problem.

Secondly, we try to avoid dogmatic answers. Rather than replace the dogmatic negative attacks of the critics with our own dogmatic answers, we attempt to show that a more positive interpretation is possible. Critics often claim that Joseph’s sins were so egregious as to utterly disqualify him as a prophet. We can understand their viewpoint, but we think there is another side to the story. Rather than destroy the critics, we want to loosen their grip. In the long run, we believe this approach will persuade questioners more effectively than claims to certainty where none is possible. We believe in stating our own strong convictions about the church as a whole, but we do not to pretend to perfect knowledge about complex historical questions.

We know that airing criticisms troubles many Latter-day Saints. Like most Church teachers, [WE] do not want to draw attention to questions that will only unsettle faithful members. But we also feel that silence is not the answer. The absence of instruction troubles questioners more than anything. They feel they have been betrayed because they came through their Church classes ignorant of the devastating information now a few clicks away on the internet. The gaps in their education leave them disillusioned and angry.”

Finding light!

The purpose of this forum is to let those who have reconciled their concerns with their faith lend insights to those of us who are still in the midst of our personal faith crisis. It is a safe place to work through our doubts and questions. It is a place where we can find empathy and understanding as we work through the unsettling process of re-evaluating what we thought we “knew”, as we learn to interpret historical facts through a new lens, or as we re-establish our own assumptions upon which we gauge the validity of the authenticity claims of the Church.

Those of us who have reconciled our faith have learned new skills, information, and perspectives that have given us room for our seeds of faith to grow. It is a new light that nourishes and gives strength to our faith. We are here to help you attain that same light in your life. It will not be instant, as the flipping of a light switch when we enter a room. Rather, it will be like a rising sun that will gradually bring the truth of the distant horizon into more plain view. The pain, the frustrations, and the fears we feel as this new light shines upon us will shift and change over time until we regain a renewed comfort with a new reality, and there are many people here to help you make sense of what you are feeling. We hope that your being here will be a blessing to you as you try to find your way or to support those who are in the “dark night of the soul”. In the end, we will gauge our success not by the numbers who frequent, but by the power and influence of those who come back to help others who walk that troubling path we have successfully navigated. Wherever you are at on your faith journey, we invite you to join with us in a path towards a greater light!

What to expect.

As you progress in your personal journey towards greater faith or reconciliation of doubts and questions, you may feel to ask what it will take for you to successfully navigate this oftentimes painful process. While each person’s journey will be unique to themselves, there are some common expectations you might watch look for:

Strong Emotions: It is common to have sometimes overpowering feelings directed towards others, including people you normally feel you can trust. These feelings can cause you to question their intentions. It is important to be cautious in how you react outwardly towards others as you go through your inner turmoil so as to not unnecessarily drive a wedge between yourself and people important to you. Those you love still love you, even if they don’t know how best to help you, so be patient. If you are feeling vulnerable, come back here, and unload on someone who understands what you are going through.

Darker Before the Light: Depending on where you are at in your own process of reconciliation, it is not uncommon for things to become more confusing, less uplifting, and generally less spiritual than before you started to question or doubt. This is because you are going through a simultaneous shift in emotions, and intellectual and spiritual perspectives. This combination tends to undermine your ability to feel confident in what you “know”. The process of change will tend to enhance your discomfort, and it is not uncommon for you to feel an increase in difficulty and frustration before you begin to have your emotions settle, your intellect reconcile, and your spirit become comforted. Be patient, and try to uplift yourself by simply doing for others. The process of selfless giving for others has a strong tendency to help us forget some of our own worries, and it fills us with the comfort of love.

No Going Back: You will likely feel as though you just want to go back to a point before you began to doubt, or before someone undermined your trust. You may want to return to a time when you felt innocent and free from your present worries. However, your journey is only forward! You cannot go back to where or how you were before. Your world has changed, and the only way back to a sense of peace is to work patiently through your emotions, concerns, expectations, interpretations, and even the information you trust. The “simple” life has become more complex, making your choice to have faith much more difficult. For you to successfully navigate this process, you will need to turn to those here who have been through what you are going through. You will have to learn to trust again, not just the people or the institution you now feel estranged from, but God himself. It will happen, but it will take time, so be patient and persistent in your efforts.

You Will Change: As part of your progression forward, you will not come out of this process the same as you were before you started it. Much of what confuses you stems in part from how you were raised, information you were given (or not given), how you were taught to interpret the world around you, what was systematically programmed into you as well meaning people tried to protect you but in so doing sheltered you. You will learn to view things in a more nuanced way. Much that you expected was black and white may well prove to be full of shades of grey and color. What you expect should be right may shift. What you once knew was right may prove false. But in the end, you can and will learn to view the world and the restored gospel through a realistic lens that, with all of its cracks and flaws, is still the gospel that saves and exalts families. Be patient, and find strength through those of us who are here to help, and the change will become a welcome one at last.

It Will Not Be Easy: The culture of the Church that so strongly values faith does not serve so well the emotions of those who stumble in theirs. We have conditioned ourselves as a people with language that declares things like “I know . . . “. We sing hymns with such language, and we declare such things to others on a monthly basis in fast and testimony meetings. In reality, most of us have simply chosen faith, and have had faith affirmed to us. But as a culture, the doubting among us are sometimes assumed to have arrived at such a state because of a lack of faith or faithfulness. Some even assume that sin was the culprit, and that a mighty dose of repentance is all that is needed to restore your faith. If you simply act the part, you will regain your perspective. But this is not often the case. We realize that you likely came by your questions and concerns quite honestly. We realize that those whom you should be able to rely on to help you – family, friends, and leaders – may not be equipped themselves to give you the support you need as go through this process. They are probably fearful for you, and they simply don’t know how to help. But, we are here to help you. Be prepared for opposition even from those whose help you most need. Invite your husband, wife, Bishop, son, daughter, home teacher, Stake President or sister you trust to come here and learn what you are going through and how they can support you. But be patient. The Lord loves you, and we love you. In time, you will turn a corner and begin to heal again.

You Have to Remember: It is a strong temptation, as you begin to question some things, to begin to question everything you once held true and relied upon. Some question of Church history or doctrine may cause you to feel that you need to start completely anew, but this is not necessarily the case. What you want to avoid is exchanging what you know with what you now question. In other words, don’t discard previous spiritual experiences, positive influences, and comforting teachings because some things have now been called into question. Rather, you need to remember those things that have proven a strength to you in the past. Write them down. Read them, and relive them. Let these positive experiences uplift you as you work through your questions, and let your positive memories give you strength to persist in patience. Consider keeping a journal as you go through this process, and use it to remind you of your progress and important lessons learned. Refer to it to remind you of good things you learn, and to help you recognize your personal progress. Some day, such a journal may serve to give insights to some other person who could benefit from what you are now going through.

Did We Say Be Patient?: Above all, realize that this is not an overnight process. it will take time, and it will not be easy. But, it will be worth it. So please be patient, knowing that in time your prayerful pleadings to understand and be understood will result in a new view on life and the gospel, and that in that new view you will in fact find peace and room for you to choose faith.

Now that the stage is set, we invite you to begin by telling your story. Create your introductory post, and tell us about you, your faith, your concerns, frustrations and doubts. Leave a part of your burden with us, and let us understand better the whole person that you are with all of your hopes, dreams, and disappointments, knowing that we love you, that we understand you, and that we will not abandon you! Welcome to a new view on life!

Edited July 25, 2013 by DBMormon

[Ahab]

Certainty is often a dangerous thing. So you "know what God thinks", and I know what God thinks, and your certainty and my certainty clash, then over time rankle until "this world ain't big enough for the two of us". How do you prevent that, exactly?

By not letting your certainty bother me when I know you haven't grasped some of what I know about what God thinks.

Certainty, that you know the mind of God, is several magnitudes more dangerous than simple, mundane certainty....

Dangerous? How is my certainty that I know the mind of God dangerous? Sounds like you need to give that some more thought.