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An Act That May Not Always Be Right, But Is Never Wrong; Doctrinally Speaking.


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Because of my job that I had for 23 years in Atlanta City Hall, I encountered many “beggars” on the way from my car to my office each workday. I would seldom carry cash, but not for this reason. So when I could help I would, sometimes giving my lunch money and not eating that day. I have had many friends say, “I am not giving them money because they will just buy booze”. One day I walked past someone who was asking for money to buy breakfast and I told him I did not have any money, but I did. As I got a few blocks away the scripture in Mosiah kept running through my mind, “Are we not all beggars”? So I walked back for 3 blocks and finally found him 5 blocks away.

On Sunday I pointed out that being chartable, was more important than anything else. Even if the person does the wrong thing with the money, God will judge us for doing what we believe is right…and it is never a mistake, when in doubt. I pointed out that we should heed the words of scripture. When I said this (having recently had my old Ward dissolved and being assigned to a new one) I reintroduced myself and told members of the group that because of my mother’s needs it has been more important that I be with her than in Priesthood most Sunday’s. Our new hours have made it hard to care for her and attend Priesthood a lot.

Upon making this comment, the HPGL said; “Now let’s bring the Spirit back into the discussion”.

I need some advice…what should I do? Right now, I am considering not going back. I even called the teacher and apologized if i said anything inappropriate. He thanked me for my comments, but that comment cut like a knife.

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Because of my job that I had for 23 years in Atlanta City Hall, I encountered many “beggars” on the way from my car to my office each workday. I would seldom carry cash, but not for this reason. So when I could help I would, sometimes giving my lunch money and not eating that day. I have had many friends say, “I am not giving them money because they will just buy booze”. One day I walked past someone who was asking for money to buy breakfast and I told him I did not have any money, but I did. As I got a few blocks away the scripture in Mosiah kept running through my mind, “Are we not all beggars”? So I walked back for 3 blocks and finally found him 5 blocks away.

On Sunday I pointed out that being chartable, was more important than anything else. Even if the person does the wrong thing with the money, God will judge us for doing what we believe is right…and it is never a mistake, when in doubt. I pointed out that we should heed the words of scripture. When I said this (having recently had my old Ward dissolved and being assigned to a new one) I reintroduced myself and told members of the group that because of my mother’s needs it has been more important that I be with her than in Priesthood most Sunday’s. Our new hours have made it hard to care for her and attend Priesthood a lot.

Upon making this comment, the HPGL said; “Now let’s bring the Spirit back into the discussion”.

I need some advice…what should I do? Right now, I am considering not going back. I even called the teacher and apologized if i said anything inappropriate. He thanked me for my comments, but that comment cut like a knife.

Matt 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

Also the D&C admonishes us to go to them and work it out. If he is like me he probably put his foot in his mouth without even realizing it.

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Papa, one of the great lessons I have learned in life is that we are all pretty stupid at times. All you have found is that there are members in your ward that can be just like each of us. No need to take offense by it; move on and strive to show them love and support.

Of course, when he was walking out of the room a nice, quick jab to the kidneys would have helped you feel better about it. It works for me. :diablo:

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Papa, one of the great lessons I have learned in life is that we are all pretty stupid at times. All you have found is that there are members in your ward that can be just like each of us. No need to take offense by it; move on and strive to show them love and support.

Of course, when he was walking out of the room a nice, quick jab to the kidneys would have helped you feel better about it. It works for me. :diablo:

It may make you feel better but I find my fellow quorum or group members tend to ostracize me when I do.

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Upon making this comment, the HPGL said; “Now let’s bring the Spirit back into the discussion”.

I need some advice…what should I do? Right now, I am considering not going back. I even called the teacher and apologized if i said anything inappropriate. He thanked me for my comments, but that comment cut like a knife.

Hello Pa Pa...

I've said this before, I'll say it again... whenever a member lets another member affect them by some insensitive or rude comment or action by that member to the point that we would let it keep us away from the Church, and thus many blessings, we are hurting no one but ourselves... the "cut off our noses to spite our faces" syndrome. If you stayed away, would it hurt the HPGL? No... but it would hurt you. You've expressed your feelings to him, now just write him off as the insensitive clod that he is and continue attending. And phooey on any other member who happens to exhibit such behavior. Your well being is more important, and the blessing you receive will be lost only to you. He goes merrily along his way.

GG

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I'm inclined to agree with your take on the scripture in Mosiah, and I hate it when that scripture spawns "Give-them-money, don't-give-them-money" debates (it has usually happened in Priesthood meeting). Having said that, respectfully, I also agree with those who've said that a decision to stop attending hurts you more than it hurts anyone else. (I recognize your need to be with your mom; if anyone judges you for that, that's their problem; but I would be there when I could, for me if for no one else).

Perhaps you could consider King Benjamin's question, "Are we not all beggars?" in this light: no, we're not all street-dwelling, shabbily dressed people looking for a handout. But we are all beggars. In what sense? We all need something from God (and from each other) we didn't earn and don't deserve: charity (in this sense, not a handout, but the pure love of Christ). In this case, your insensitive High Priest Group Leader is a beggar; he needs something from you that he doesn't deserve (even if he doesn't realize it): your forgiveness. Even if he doesn't benefit from it, you will: your load will be that much lighter if you refuse to carry a grudge. And perhaps its worth pondering, for you and for all of us, if we haven't all, at one time or another (deliberately or inadvertently) said something insensitive. If we want forgiveness from others, we have to forgive them, too.

Just food for thought. :)

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I need some advice…what should I do? Right now, I am considering not going back. I even called the teacher and apologized if i said anything inappropriate. He thanked me for my comments, but that comment cut like a knife.

He probably didn't mean it like it sounded.

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I would really pray to have the Spirit be with you and I think considering the pain it has caused, whether knowingly or not, it is good advice given by Log to confer with your bishop.

"...cleave unto God as he cleaveth unto you."

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What a jerk. Some people are just like that Papa. By all means though, don't let it deter you from going back.

To put into context, I attend my other meetings, teach Sunday School. My Mother's health has caused me to miss many Priesthood meetings since Jan 2012, when we to afternoon schedule.

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Confer with your bishop.

Please don't. This is between you and the teacher. No need to involve the Bishop in something he cannot fix without offending you or the teacher.

I can understand how painful that comment was. It was very rude. I'll bet you are not the first he's offended and maybe after getting to know others in your ward you'll be a part of the "club."

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Please don't. This is between you and the teacher. No need to involve the Bishop in something he cannot fix without offending you or the teacher.

I can understand how painful that comment was. It was very rude. I'll bet you are not the first he's offended and maybe after getting to know others in your ward you'll be a part of the "club."

It was the teacher it was the HPGL, who shocked us both.

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Please don't. This is between you and the teacher. No need to involve the Bishop in something he cannot fix without offending you or the teacher.

I can understand how painful that comment was. It was very rude. I'll bet you are not the first he's offended and maybe after getting to know others in your ward you'll be a part of the "club."

I disagree with the idea that one goes to the bishop to have him fix it. The bishop is someone I respect and can speak to in confidence, trusting the Spirit is with him and knowing that he can for the most part just listen without judgement and help me through my feelings.

If you are considering not returning to church, BY ALL MEANS, let the bishop know what is going on INSIDE OF YOU and give him the opportunity to help you work through it before you separate yourself silently. Nobody else needs to know what the bishop and your conversation is about.

And... "club?!" :shok: of Saints whose common ground is to dislike one of our own? This downright awful scenario only exists because people don't talk to the bishop. Ward family people! These are your loved ones. Or they should be.

Edited by Nominee
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I disagree with the idea that one goes to the bishop to have him fix it. The bishop is someone I respect and can speak to in confidence, trusting the Spirit is with him and knowing that he can for the most part just listen without judgement and help me through my feelings.

If you are considering not returning to church, BY ALL MEANS, let the bishop know what is going on INSIDE OF YOU and give him the opportunity to help you work through it before you separate yourself silently. Nobody else needs to know what the bishop and your conversation is about.

And... "club?!" :shok: of Saints whose common ground is to dislike one of own? This downright awful scenario only exists because people don't talk to the bishop. Ward family people! These are your loved ones. Or they should be.

The bishop would have no free time at all if every time someone said something offensive or someone was offended had to confer with him.

I guess your ward is different than all the ones I've known but usually each ward has a at least one person that the rest are apologizing for or explaining that "that's just them, don't worry about it we've all had it happen to us." The fact that we are tolerant of their behavior and haven't let them drive us away shows that we are "family." Nobody said anything about not liking them just that you become one of many who has been offended or a part of the club.

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The bishop would have no free time at all if every time someone said something offensive or someone was offended had to confer with him.

I guess your ward is different than all the ones I've known but usually each ward has a at least one person that the rest are apologizing for or explaining that "that's just them, don't worry about it we've all had it happen to us." The fact that we are tolerant of their behavior and haven't let them drive us away shows that we are "family." Nobody said anything about not liking them just that you become one of many who has been offended or a part of the club.

I agree that the bishop would have no free time at all if every time someone said something offensive or someone was offended had to confer with him. But that isn't what I heard Pa Pa say. I read his words to say, "Right now, I am considering not going back." I am just betting his bishop would consider it well worth his time. I am recognizing the difference between "that comment cut like a knife" and "every time someone said something offensive."

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Well, I guess I see myself as being responsible for my own decisions. My visiting teaching partner once spent 5 minutes berating me in a very loud voice in the hallway of the church. Needless to say it cut like a knife. My children were present and watched. I never once thought that the bishop should be consulted.

PaPa is temporarily stinging and I'm glad he came here to get it off his chest. I've watched him post here for many years and there is NO WAY he wasn't going back to church. His heart just isn't in it. He may have thought it and still be thinking it but he wouldn't be away for long. In fact, it's obvious in statement that he feels bad that he even has to miss priesthood meeting.

And I think Matt 15:18 truly applies here.

But don't let me leave you with the impression that it would be wrong to speak with the bishop, that would not be wrong. If a person really feels they cannot work it out on their own and need their bishop to help them work out their own salvation then by all means make an appointment.

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  • 2 weeks later...

A dear, elderly former stake patriarch in our ward related how a man came to his home and said he needed to borrow a lawn mower to mow his lawn, that his had broken down, and would they mind? They said, "of course," and never saw the lawn mower again. Come to find out many neighbors were also missing their lawn mowers. He said he would do it again. It is certainly worth thinking about. I can't really imagine feeling wealthy enough? to do that. (as if that's the issue?)

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