MustardSeed

IMO the church is simply trying to even the playing fields where there isnt reasonable necessity to remain otherwise. With significant imbalances, it’s pleasant to see these gestures. This one feels pretty “no duh” to me, I never understood the discrepancy to begin with.

My recurring nightmare was moving back in to my apartment at glenwood in Provo. Finally I’d had enough when we flew to Utah and I put a hex on the door where I lived for three years.. it worked. Meet me in Provo and we will hit the MTC.

My husband was the only one who decided to stay on his mission for the full two years, while the rest left at the 18 month mark when they made that change back in the 1990ish. He said it’s one of his biggest regrets. Hardest six months of his life.

Good. It never made sense to me. Generally I find 18-year-old girls much more mature than 18-year-old boys so it didn’t make sense except for the theory that they wanted women to have that extra year in case they could get married. Which makes me vomit in my mouth, honestly.

Patterns, beliefs, traditions, behaviors, all of which tend to permeate but of course find exception.

I readily admit that I am quite judgmental.

Could be. But frankly sometimes even I dislike us.

Is there room to acknowledge that we have been taught the wrong way “from the pulpit” for many years?

People don’t hate winners. They don’t mock Mormons for winning. They hate us because we come across in an unlikable way.

I teach GD and it was the toughest week for me to show up. But this particular part of the discussion was great. We listed on the board all of the natural consequences of obedience to God. Things like, humility, connection to God, peace of mind (knowing we are pleasing God), emotional growth, etc- as opposed to the proverbial check in the mail. I shared the story of having gone to the mental hospital during my college years as a volunteer and meeting a woman who had had a breakdown of sorts because her husband had had an affair. She explained it to me that she had done everything “right” and it was too confusing for her to have experienced such a betrayal. To think of the gospel in terms of vending machine rewards can be absolutely devastating when life actually happens. But that we can expect natural consequences such as we listed on the board. This seemed to be a satisfying reasoning, in our particular class.

Also, sometimes people “want” things because … pressure. (that fits for both arranged and chosen marriages) There’s a lot of things that I want that if the circumstances are different, I suspect I would not want them. there are so many factors that go into whether or not a marriage is successful that cannot be measured in terms of the divorce rate.

The number of divorces doesn’t account for the social pressure to remain in a bad marriage. In other words, staying together does not indicate marital success IMO .

Problem being that we so often turn to scripture as the final word . Section 132 comes off as manipulative on the part of Joseph to me. It puts in to question the validity of scripture for me. Also, all the various interpretations of this lesson is annoying to me. It was what it was.

Calm my guess is you will not get your question answered by Teddy. Cognitive dissonance is a real bear.

A purity religion doesn’t come without its challenges. I work with plenty of couples who suffer as a result of one or both intrinsically experience shame around their own sexuality.

Wat

Do you mean to come off as hurtful?

So interesting. I have always been aware that we focus on the garden as being the place of true suffering and atonementwhile everyone else focuses on cross, and I had always believed that this is why we don’t typically wear the cross or have the cross up in our church as others do.

It’s not about product it’s about scarcity

Sorry, but this is exactly what I was saying makes me nuts. So with fair warning here: Anyone concerned with what someone is wearing or not wearing under their garments is caught in a sexually driven trap created by themselves.

Also, I need to add that I will not be wearing anything sleeveless. I’m insecure about my old lady arms. Might open up possibilities for me on the stage because there are more formal options with no sleeves. But on the daily, sleeveless means nothing to me now. There is one exception though. I am having a really hard time deconstructing all of the messaging through my life that shoulders indicate rebellion, and therefore are bad. Logically intellectually I recognize the falseness in this. But emotionally all of the drilling has left a hole that the church refuses to fill at this point by acknowledging the emphasis of modesty which I believe was mostly for the purpose of sexual rigidity and control. I was a part of this problem. It makes me sick to think about it. I get really upset when I continue to hear messages that conflict. I have to remind myself that people are just human. I really don’t get it. Comfortable in my present assessment, I try to ignore the messaging that upsets me. Examples of messages that are bothersome to me presently: (to clarify, all forthcoming is opinion only) 1. “Garments were never about modesty” . I strongly disagree. I still think it’s about modesty. If not to God, certainly to enough members that the message is distorted. 2. “ what are women gonna wear into those slips?” a. Nonya b. Doesn’t matter c. Why would you ask that? Again, the anxiety of sexuality, particularly of women is ever present among church members ime 3. “ I don’t think she’s / he’s wearing her garments anymore.” In my opinion, this type of scanning and commentary has a lot to do with what we perceive is fair. Nothing is fair. Mind your business. 4. “ God doesn’t care what you wear. I can’t wait for you to get out of that cult.” Again, mind your business and your manners. School is a cult. The country is a cult. Your bowling league is a cult. Your family is a cult.BORING. Move along. And I believe God does care what we wear if what we wear is in relationship to Him. I could add to the list, but I’m boring myself

I am going to make an assumption here which is only my opinion based on anecdotal experience. The church members like to push limits to the edge, and the church responds by taking control. Which leads to the members pushing limits to the edge. Which leads to the church taking control. There is no one side to blame. It is a system., We all contribute to it. I want to acknowledge to you the truth in what you’re saying that there are plenty of people who are excited about the new garment facilitating new styles. I don’t know why that needs to be a problem for people? Unless people are afraid that the church body will take this and run with it and eventually show up to church in a tube top. I for one never want to see my husband in the tube top so I get it.😅

Folded before, and after washing? Wow. I never heard that before. So glad I didn’t because I would’ve just felt guilty for one more thing all these years. That was never ever going to happen in my household.

He had to be in touch with sexual nature in order to feel what we feel and resist what we resist. Also, if he was married, then I should certainly hope that he did experience a sexual desire, drive, and have children.