young men more religious than young women

[Doctor Steuss]

  

On 9/23/2024 at 6:10 PM, teddyaware said:

As if violating the law of chastity in a most careless and irresponsible manner, and then callously having your own innocent unborn child slaughtered because you don’t want to be inconvenienced with the consequences of your own reckless actions isn’t “harmful to females.” 

SA TRIGGER WARNING






Earlier this year, a JAMA published study estimated that 64,565 pregnancies have been caused by men committing rape in the 14 states with abortion bans since Dobbs. 

Seems that might be a much more careless and irresponsible manner of violating the law of chastity.  For that number of pregnancies to result, I'm sure you can extrapolate how many times men violently assaulted women in just those 14 morally superior states.

As an aside, you believe that abortion is the slaughter of an innocent child?  Personally, if I honestly believed that innocent children were being slaughtered by the thousands (to tens of thousands) a short drive away from my home, I wouldn't be content just posting about it on the internet, and occasionally voting for people who claimed to believe the same.  That'd be incredibly cowardly and disgusting, in my opinion.  As a man, father, uncle, brother, and son, and a human being raised with basic decency, that makes the sincerity of those words seem incredibly suspect to me.

[Doctor Steuss]

20 hours ago, Calm said:

But volunteering is the best place to start imo if you want to feel good about yourself and doing something meaningful with your life. Nothing like having a kid’s eyes light up because they are looking forward to showing you how much better they are at reading or they can write their own name. If you feel awkward around people, volunteer at animal shelters. 

During one of my dark times, my oldest brother said something that has always stuck with me.  It was a guiding light the led me on countless volunteering and service adventures.

Paraphrasing:  "The best way to find your true self is to first lose the unnecessary parts of yourself.  The best way to lose those parts of yourself is to give of yourself."

[TheLastMan]

8 hours ago, Tacenda said:

I want to visit Germany one day!! It's funny how sometimes we desire to go see different places, but sometimes after doing so come to appreciate where we live because it's not all it's cracked up to be where we visited. Have you ever visited the United States? Sorry if you've mentioned something about visiting already. Being from Germany would it be difficult to visit w/o getting a visa. Not sure how it all works. 

Southern Germany still has some nice places and people like the Bavarians with actual culture and traditions.

Yeah, I've been to the U.S. five times. Mostly 2009, 2010, and 2011 when I was doing road trips with some friends from Phoenix/AZ all across the west as well as around Michigan. A 90-day tourist visa is not really an issue, but to be allowed to stay 180 days, you already need to go to the U.S. consulate and show all kinds of documents and be interviewed like you're some sort of national threat. A bit weird, because if I wanted to stay in the U.S. illegally, I could just get there with the regular 90-day tourist visa.

 

4 hours ago, Calm said:

I meant by my comment that women were taught to make themselves desirable as mates not just in a general way, but in particular as in catering to the desires of their mate. They were even told to change who they were in order please the male they wanted or had been given as a mate.  Wives had to continually seduce their husbands so he wouldn’t stray where once married a man was not expected much to adapt to the woman’s desires outside of providing her with a home, children and basic needs…which was extremely important of course.  

Just saying women were told to act dumb, look beautiful at all times, give in to petty demands of their spouse to keep them happy, etc etc.  They were insulted if they ‘let theirselves go’ (as if they could arise untouched from multiple pregnancies) more because of the effect it would have on their husband (he was now justify to look at other women in many’s view) than their personal health.  

I know there was advice out there towards men about keeping their wife happy, but it wasn’t made the purpose of their existence as it was for women.   Basically we were having to be like dogs always looking at our masters for their approval we were doing okay while trying to walk as well.

Nowadays both spouses need to make the effort to be aware of the other’s desires and adapt and compromise on a more equal basis because a woman has the ability to walk away now almost as easily as a man (kids can still make it difficult) and can certainly choose to be more picky in their mates since marriage is not necessary to live above the poverty line for women anymore…at least in many countries. 

Which means lots of ongoing communication from both spouses.  More effort in being aware of each other all the time, not just when one needs something.  More not waiting until asked to do something, but owning it which means paying attention to one’s surroundings as well in terms of “what needs to be done”.

Well, now they are taught to make themselves desirable to corporations, while only "deserving" things in relationships. I disliked the modern corporate work environment enough to invest most of my income while living way below my means, so that I could get out of there ASAP. So to me that all seems very strange.

These days, most people are "letting themselves go", both men and women. Then they get medications for lots and lots of money, including injections that mess with the brain and reduce several cravings - and it is not even really understood why exactly it even works as it does. Not sure if this is liberating. Great for Eli Lilly and Novo Nordisk, though.

I feel like people who refer to "the good/bad old times" somehow always mean the very short time right after two world wars. I wonder if standards for women got higher during that time, because a lot of men were, well, dead. While the remaining men benefitted by the booming post-war economy, so they probably were quite a catch.

What I would call actually "traditional" would be farms, not the 1950's. I doubt that women on those farms were supposed to always be pretty, dumb, and nice. All I know is that my "ideal woman" would neither be a modern career woman, nor a 50's housewife, but an American cowgirl. In Michigan someone from a friend's family had his daughters ride around on dirt bikes around his house. That is among the coolest things I have ever seen. We don't have women who grew up like that over here. I also have taken a ride with a 17-year-old girl in Phoenix in 2009, and she was navigating an F-150 around corners and in and out of parking spots like she was born driving it. Made my day.

I wish I could confirm the communication being better these days. My impression (at least for people under 30) is, that social skills in general have seriously suffered from the smartphone/social media age.

[SeekingUnderstanding]

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-daily/id1200361736?i=1000674133503
 

The daily today explored this issue mainly from a political aspect (broadening political divide among gen z), but I think the details discussed are broadly applicable here. Fascinating relatively quick  listen if you are into podcasts. 
 

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/23/podcasts/the-daily/gender-election.html#

Edited October 24, 2024 by SeekingUnderstanding

[Kenngo1969]

On 10/8/2024 at 10:35 PM, Calm said:

... But unlike me it has never occurred to him to offer to wash my clothes when he washes his own. ...

Speaking more from suspicion than from experience, so take this for what it's worth: Maybe that's because "guy stuff" is a little more forgiving and tolerant of how it is washed than "girl stuff" is ...  

[Tacenda]

14 hours ago, Kenngo1969 said:

Speaking more from suspicion than from experience, so take this for what it's worth: Maybe that's because "guy stuff" is a little more forgiving and tolerant of how it is washed than "girl stuff" is ...  

True, when my mom got Alzheimer's early she quit knowing how to do laundry and my dad would do it and throw everything in the wash, no separating. Luckily the wash usually came out unscathed when I happen to be at his place to clean the house.

[Calm]

14 hours ago, Kenngo1969 said:

Speaking more from suspicion than from experience, so take this for what it's worth: Maybe that's because "guy stuff" is a little more forgiving and tolerant of how it is washed than "girl stuff" is ...  

most of my everyday clothing is men’s wear because it’s better quality fabric for less money (lounge pants and T shirts).

[Kenngo1969]

8 hours ago, Calm said:

most of my everyday clothing is men’s wear because it’s better quality fabric for less money (lounge pants and T shirts).

Fair enough.    Comfort is among my top priorities, as well.