I'm feeling alone.

[Dario_M]

Hey guys how are you doing?

I've not being so well. Months back in end of august i ended up on the streets because my parents and my grandma and later on my landlord kicked me all  out their houses. From that moment i was allone and on my own. I've spended 3 months outside. Experienced the changing of the weather. Untill i had enough of it and committed 3 attempts. I was so tired of my life. I ended up on the IC. Was neerly death. Damaged liver. My parents (allthough they where angry) visited me nearly every day. People  from my church visited me 1 time. 

Rehabilitation was hard. I had three IVs in me. Unfortunatly the nurses where not nice. And made a mess of it. It was a nightmare.

After 2 weeks i moved to the psycriatic ward and that was a bigger nightmare. No phone. Nothing to do. I was allowed only 5 minutes outside everyday. The nurses there didn't liked me because i didn't spoke Portguese. There where a lot of fights i had with the nurses. They forced me to take medication that i didn't wanted to take. Later that changed into a injection that made me like a zombie. That stuff also damaged my eyes and ears.

Finaly i was free to go. The injection though was required by law. Every month. If i didn't show up to get that injection the police would come after me and forced me to take that injection. The injection was an antipsychotic. But I didn't had schizphrenia. 

I didn't wanted all of that so i decided to excape to the Netherlands and moved in to my ex (he is now my bf again. He takes care of me.

My eyes and ears are damaged forever though.

I live in Beverwijk now. Every sunday i go to the LDS church in Alkmaar (close to beverwijk)

I feel lonely. Traumatized because what have happened in Portugal. Unfortunaly also my parents want no contact with me. again i suffer no contact with my parents. Because they are angry that i left. That hurts.

Btw... i have missed you guys. It was a while ago that i posted here for the last time. 

Edited May 3, 2024 by Dario_M

[Rain]

4 hours ago, Dario_M said:

Hey guys how are you doing?

I've not being so well. Months back in end of august i ended up on the streets because my parents and my grandma and later on my landlord kicked me all  out their houseses. From that moment i was allone and on my own. I've spended 3 months outside. Experienced the changing of the weather. Untill i had enough of it end committed 3 attempts. I was so tired of my life. I ended up on the IC. Was neerly death. Damaged liver. My parents (allthough they where angry) visit me nearly every day. People  from my church visit me 1 time. 

Rehabilitate was hard. I had three IVs in me. Unfortunatly the nurses where not nice. And mad a mess of it. It was a nightmare.

After 2 weeks i moved to the psycriatic ward and that was a bigger nightmare. No phone. Nothing to do. I was allowed only 5 minutes outside everyday. The nurses there didn't liked me because i didn't spoke Portguese. There where a lot of fights i had with the nurses. They forced me to take medication that i didn't wanted to take. Later that changed into a injection that made me like a zombie. That stuff also damaged my eyes and ears.

Finaly i was free to go. The injection though was required by law. Every month. If i didn't show up to get that injection the police would come after me and forced me to take that injection. The injection was an antipsychotic. But I didn't had schizphrenia. 

I didn't want all of that so i decided to excape to the Netherlands and moved in to me ex (he is now my bf again. He taked care of me.

My eyes and ears are damaged forever though.

I live in Beverwijk. Every sunday i go to the LDS church in Alkmaar (close to beverwijk)

I feel lonely. Traumatized because what happened in Portugal. Unfortunaly also me parents want no contact with me. again i suffer no contact with my parents. Because they are angry that i left. That hurts.

Btw... i have missed you guys. It was a while ago that i posted here for the last time. 

I can tell it has been incredibly difficult for you and is still hard.  I'm so sorry you are going through it. I wish peace for you.

[Dario_M]

16 minutes ago, Rain said:

I can tell it has been incredibly difficult for you and is still hard.  I'm so sorry you are going through it. I wish peace for you.

Thank you so much. As you can understand i can't go to the church in Portugal Miratejo anymore because i'm in the Netherlands now and i never wanna return to Portugal ever again. But i will miss the people of that ward a lot. They where so kind

Now i go to a location here in Alkmaar.

God bless you Rain. 🫂

[Calm]

It is good to hear from you, Dario. I am very sad that you weren’t having a great time as I like to imagine is happening for missing friends. I will pray that life gets better for you in your new/old home. 

[Dario_M]

2 hours ago, Calm said:

It is good to hear from you, Dario. I am very sad that you weren’t having a great time as I like to imagine is happening for missing friends. I will pray that life gets better for you in your new/old home. 

Thank you so much Calm. I have missed you, and reading your posts. Please pray for me. There has never been a better time in my life for a good pray from somebody then now. 🙏

[Pyreaux]

13 hours ago, Dario_M said:

Hey guys how are you doing?

I've not being so well. Months back in end of august i ended up on the streets because my parents and my grandma and later on my landlord kicked me all  out their houses. From that moment i was allone and on my own. I've spended 3 months outside. Experienced the changing of the weather. Untill i had enough of it and committed 3 attempts. I was so tired of my life. I ended up on the IC. Was neerly death. Damaged liver. My parents (allthough they where angry) visited me nearly every day. People  from my church visited me 1 time. 

Rehabilitation was hard. I had three IVs in me. Unfortunatly the nurses where not nice. And made a mess of it. It was a nightmare.

After 2 weeks i moved to the psycriatic ward and that was a bigger nightmare. No phone. Nothing to do. I was allowed only 5 minutes outside everyday. The nurses there didn't liked me because i didn't spoke Portguese. There where a lot of fights i had with the nurses. They forced me to take medication that i didn't wanted to take. Later that changed into a injection that made me like a zombie. That stuff also damaged my eyes and ears.

Finaly i was free to go. The injection though was required by law. Every month. If i didn't show up to get that injection the police would come after me and forced me to take that injection. The injection was an antipsychotic. But I didn't had schizphrenia. 

I didn't wanted all of that so i decided to excape to the Netherlands and moved in to my ex (he is now my bf again. He takes care of me.

My eyes and ears are damaged forever though.

I live in Beverwijk now. Every sunday i go to the LDS church in Alkmaar (close to beverwijk)

I feel lonely. Traumatized because what have happened in Portugal. Unfortunaly also my parents want no contact with me. again i suffer no contact with my parents. Because they are angry that i left. That hurts.

Btw... i have missed you guys. It was a while ago that i posted here for the last time. 

Hey, buddy. Yes, I remember you saying you were fearing getting kicked out. We prayed for you. Sounds like you had it bad, though the good Lord kept you alive. But that was quite the journey, glad you were ultimately able get out of a bad situation. It was best for your health, I'm sorry it upset your parents. But they say, "absences makes the heart grow fonder", I hope you try to call them on the holidays, it's always a good excuse to stay in touch no matter how upset they are.

[Tacenda]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. All I can say is there's a way out of this, one day soon. I hope you stick to whatever makes your life get better each day. I'm glad you found a ward to go to, and maybe utilize whatever the bishop of the ward can do for you. 

[rpn]

Glad to know you are currently on an upswing.

[Dario_M]

6 hours ago, Pyreaux said:

Hey, buddy. Yes, I remember you saying you were fearing getting kicked out. We prayed for you. Sounds like you had it bad, though the good Lord kept you alive. But that was quite the journey, glad you were ultimately able get out of a bad situation. It was best for your health, I'm sorry it upset your parents. But they say, "absences makes the heart grow fonder", I hope you try to call them on the holidays, it's always a good excuse to stay in touch no matter how upset they are.

Thank you for that advice. I will try that. I've missed you. 

Edited May 4, 2024 by Dario_M

[Dario_M]

3 hours ago, rpn said:

Glad to know you are currently on an upswing.

Yeah... but i'm upset about it all. Sometimes i even dream about it. It's not over yet. And my parents are the ones who act like they're upset!! How dare they. 

[Dario_M]

4 hours ago, Tacenda said:

I'm so sorry you're going through this. All I can say is there's a way out of this, one day soon. I hope you stick to whatever makes your life get better each day. I'm glad you found a ward to go to, and maybe utilize whatever the bishop of the ward can do for you. 

Thank you Tacenda the church members here are really nice. The same was in the ward in Portugal they where nice as well. I miss them. 

Edited May 4, 2024 by Dario_M

[Okrahomer]

On 5/3/2024 at 3:53 AM, Dario_M said:

I feel lonely. Traumatized because what have happened in Portugal.

Dear Brother Dario,

I am so sorry for the loneliness and trauma you are suffering.  I have missed seeing your posts and have wondered if all was well with you.  I think you once mentioned that you enjoyed and find comfort in hymns.  There are several hymns I love that always draw me back to our Heavenly Father and help me find comfort and peace during times of loneliness and hurt.  Hymns really are prayers, and sometimes the music that is attached seems to open the soul to deeper understanding.  Here is one of the hymns that help me.  Maybe it will help you too?

 

[Dario_M]

1 hour ago, Okrahomer said:

Dear Brother Dario,

I am so sorry for the loneliness and trauma you are suffering.  I have missed seeing your posts and have wondered if all was well with you.  I think you once mentioned that you enjoyed and find comfort in hymns.  There are several hymns I love that always draw me back to our Heavenly Father and help me find comfort and peace during times of loneliness and hurt.  Hymns really are prayers, and sometimes the music that is attached seems to open the soul to deeper understanding.  Here is one of the hymns that help me.  Maybe it will help you too?

 

Thank you so much you make me cry. I will listen to this hymn. God bless you big time. 🫂🙏

Edit, i am listening and this sounds so beautifull. You have a good tast.

Edited May 4, 2024 by Dario_M

[manol]

Hi @Dario_M, good to hear from you, sorry for the pain and loneliness that you've been experiencing.  You are in my prayers, and may the Holy Spirit be your guide and companion.

Here is a song that helps me to see things through a more hopeful lens when I'm down:

 

[Dario_M]

8 hours ago, manol said:

Hi @Dario_M, good to hear from you, sorry for the pain and loneliness that you've been experiencing.  You are in my prayers, and may the Holy Spirit be your guide and companion.

Here is a song that helps me to see things through a more hopeful lens when I'm down:

 

Thank you so much you're too kind. 🙏