ttribe Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 1 hour ago, Danzo said: Is there anything wrong with asking about it? Maybe, maybe not, but the discussion was about what is and is not asked.
Duncan Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 8 minutes ago, lostindc said: Why is a Bishop asking anything sexually based to a minor? I wonder why leaders are digging into the details? I know I've experienced leaders digging into really significant details. Worse yet, missionaries are asking prospective members detailed sexual questions. over 12 year olds, Bishops don't interview 4 year olds and you need to update yourself from 2016 and that was one memo and not a universal thing
carbon dioxide Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 (edited) 34 minutes ago, lostindc said: Why is a Bishop asking anything sexually based to a minor? Because minors do violate the law of chastity. It is true believe it or not. Detailed questions are not required but one can't avoid the issue. Teens are exposed to far worse on their phones and in the media. Even in school they talk about stuff. Edited September 17, 2018 by carbon dioxide
lostindc Posted September 17, 2018 Author Posted September 17, 2018 25 minutes ago, Duncan said: over 12 year olds, Bishops don't interview 4 year olds and you need to update yourself from 2016 and that was one memo and not a universal thing So the issues are resolved? Or are you just acting like the issues are resolved?
lostindc Posted September 17, 2018 Author Posted September 17, 2018 2 minutes ago, carbon dioxide said: Because minors do violate the law of chastity. It is true believe it or not. In a church setting, have you ever asked a person under 18 about their sexual habits. If so, did you feel comfortable?
Duncan Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 (edited) 8 minutes ago, lostindc said: So the issues are resolved? Or are you just acting like the issues are resolved? How would anyone know they are resolved, but the Church has updated itself since 2016- I have never taken an acting class in my life sorry! Do you ever say anything other than ask questions? Edited September 17, 2018 by Duncan
Danzo Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 8 minutes ago, lostindc said: In a church setting, have you ever asked a person under 18 about their sexual habits. If so, did you feel comfortable? Yes, I have. No, I didn't feel uncomfortable about it. How about you? 1
lostindc Posted September 17, 2018 Author Posted September 17, 2018 1 minute ago, Duncan said: How would anyone know they are resolved, but the Church has updated itself since 2016- I have never taken an acting class in my life sorry! do you do more than ask questions? you sound like a former poster on here who has comprehension deficiencies hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm what a mystery Duncan, please don’t hand out personal attacks. I was banned from a thread for doing what you just did...I don’t believe you should be banned from this thread. i ask questions because I can’t understand why adults, especially men in the Church, are so comfortable with asking minors sexually based questions in order to prove the minor is living to Church standards. There’s many safer methods than these worthiness interviews. We’ve learned of many leaders using these worthiness interviews to prey on our children. Why would you want this to not change? In the next few months recordings will release of worthiness interviews and I am sure many of these are frightening. Every leader needs to understand that there’s a chance a recording device is with the person being interviewed.
Danzo Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 1 minute ago, lostindc said: Every leader needs to understand that there’s a chance a recording device is with the person being interviewed. So it's the leaders that you are concerned with.
lostindc Posted September 17, 2018 Author Posted September 17, 2018 1 minute ago, Danzo said: Yes, I have. No, I didn't feel uncomfortable about it. How about you? I’ve been interviewed by many leaders from childhood to adulthood, but I’ve never been in a leadership position to interview anyone else. I remember having a creepy Bishop ask me details about masturbation and sex. It was later discussed by missionaries that served in the ward that this same Bishop requested extreme details from prospective members. He’s on mission right now. It’s his second or third senior mission.
Danzo Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 3 minutes ago, lostindc said: i ask questions because I can’t understand why adults, especially men in the Church, are so comfortable with asking minors sexually based questions in order to prove the minor is living to Church standards. There’s many safer methods than these worthiness interviews. We’ve learned of many leaders using these worthiness interviews to prey on our children. Why would you want this to not change? Adults are asking minors questions to help them understand and know how to be happy. They ask questions to help them repent. To help them avoid the heartache that can come as a result of sexual sin. It is because we love them. 2
Duncan Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 (edited) 10 minutes ago, lostindc said: Duncan, please don’t hand out personal attacks. I was banned from a thread for doing what you just did...I don’t believe you should be banned from this thread. i ask questions because I can’t understand why adults, especially men in the Church, are so comfortable with asking minors sexually based questions in order to prove the minor is living to Church standards. There’s many safer methods than these worthiness interviews. We’ve learned of many leaders using these worthiness interviews to prey on our children. Why would you want this to not change? In the next few months recordings will release of worthiness interviews and I am sure many of these are frightening. Every leader needs to understand that there’s a chance a recording device is with the person being interviewed. um, they did change, why do you not get that? Oh, i'm sure they are real........ especially men? are there women asking questions? You seem to have the pulse of every single leader that ever was in the Church, how could you possibly know the intent and experience of all these people? Do you believe that people make stuff up to add fuel to the fire? do you know there are a ton of Bishoprics, Branch Presidencies, District Presidencies, Stake Presidencies, Mission Presidents and General Authorities that give TR interviews and nothing inappropriate ever happens? Why is that? Sounds fishy to me Edited September 17, 2018 by Duncan
Danzo Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 4 minutes ago, lostindc said: I’ve been interviewed by many leaders from childhood to adulthood, but I’ve never been in a leadership position to interview anyone else. I remember having a creepy Bishop ask me details about masturbation and sex. It was later discussed by missionaries that served in the ward that this same Bishop requested extreme details from prospective members. He’s on mission right now. It’s his second or third senior mission. I guess you don't think he should be on a mission?
lostindc Posted September 17, 2018 Author Posted September 17, 2018 2 minutes ago, Danzo said: So it's the leaders that you are concerned with. Yes, and of course the policy of worthiness interviews. Currently, the Church appears to display litte interest in protecting it’s local leaders. This won’t change until worthiness interviews are watered down or completely removed. These leaders are susceptible and some can’t control themselves and are placed in a role they abuse. This problem is way more massive than posters on this board know and it’s going to be a process of exposing how bad it’s gotten.
Duncan Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 1 minute ago, lostindc said: Yes, and of course the policy of worthiness interviews. Currently, the Church appears to display litte interest in protecting it’s local leaders. This won’t change until worthiness interviews are watered down or completely removed. These leaders are susceptible and some can’t control themselves and are placed in a role they abuse. This problem is way more massive than posters on this board know and it’s going to be a process of exposing how bad it’s gotten. this is incoherent. Now, "the Church appears displays little interest in protecting it's[sic] local leaders" well, if they are all creeps then why should they? do you believe people lie and wrongfully accuse others? how on earth could you possibly know how "bad it's gotten"?
Danzo Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 1 minute ago, lostindc said: Yes, and of course the policy of worthiness interviews. Currently, the Church appears to display litte interest in protecting it’s local leaders. This won’t change until worthiness interviews are watered down or completely removed. These leaders are susceptible and some can’t control themselves and are placed in a role they abuse. This problem is way more massive than posters on this board know and it’s going to be a process of exposing how bad it’s gotten. But you know how big the problem is. How? 3
Rain Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 3 hours ago, Storm Rider said: In the early 1980s, my father-in-law and I were talking about this topic. He told me if any leader ever asked me about the sexual relationship between my wife and me I should tell them it is none of his business. At the time he was serving in a stake presidency in Utah. I think his advice was accurate and spot on. What I continue to be shocked is that so many people play a role of overwhelming naivety where they are forced, chained to the chair at all ages, with a church leader spouting sexually invasive questions to individuals who have never heard of sex. Really people?!? Do you really think we are all so stupid as to think your child is ignorant of all sexual matters? Frankly, it disgusts me that individuals think humans are all so stupid that we would believe anything you say as the truth. I am grateful for the comments early in the thread that suggested that you get off your backside and teach your children to say no - to anyone - if they are uncomfortable. You do that and this entire thread is a no go, fini, the end. Instead, we have individual yapping about, "I would never have my child alone with the bishop in an interview." Wake the heck up! If your child is 11 years old he already knows more about sex than you do. These kids not only deal with heterosexual sex but every form of sex that two humans could possibly engage in whether it be gay, trans, twisted, etc. You name it they have heard about it. And, yes, I really do get steamed with stupidity. This is not true for everyone. It was definitely not true for my daughter's group of friends. We have been open with her and at age 20 she still comes to me with questions and I find we are more open with our kids than her friend's parents were. I find that many kids may have technically heard about things, but don't actually hear them with regards to sex and well...everything. Just because you have sort of heard about it doesn't mean you actually know anything about it. You only need to read what BlueDreams has written here to find that many people just don't have a great understanding of a lot of things. I do think it depends on your experiences, who your friends are, how much you watch TV etc. and that can really vary. My husband grew up in a very small town and learned about what sex was much earlier than I did in a city 150 times the size of his town. The difference being he was raised on a farm and my parents didn't talk about those things. 2
lostindc Posted September 17, 2018 Author Posted September 17, 2018 10 minutes ago, Duncan said: um, they did change, why do you not get that? Oh, i'm sure they are real........ especially men? are there women asking questions? You seem to have the pulse of every single leader that ever was in the Church, how could you possibly know the intent and experience of all these people? Do you believe that people make stuff up to add fuel to the fire? do you know there are a ton of Bishoprics, Branch Presidencies, District Presidencies, Stake Presidencies, Mission Presidents and General Authorities that give TR interviews and nothing inappropriate ever happens? Why is that? Sounds fishy to me The argument that a small percentage of leaders are carrying out the abuse is not really a strong argument at all. Every soul counts in the eyes of the Lord. What would Jesus do?
Scott Lloyd Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 1 hour ago, lostindc said: Definitely do not ask for details. You’ve said what you wouldn’t do. What would you do?
lostindc Posted September 17, 2018 Author Posted September 17, 2018 5 minutes ago, Danzo said: But you know how big the problem is. How? We can’t quantify because we would need to survey Church members, former prospective members, and ex-Mormons to obtain a clear idea, statistically speaking. We do know that the problem of Mormon leaders using worthiness interviews to creep on kids is an issue. The scale continues to grow as more complaints are uploaded online by members using their real names.
lostindc Posted September 17, 2018 Author Posted September 17, 2018 2 minutes ago, Scott Lloyd said: You’ve said what you wouldn’t do. What would you do? Get rid of worthiness interviews with minors. Eliminate sexually charged questions with adults. What would do Scott? I am genuinely curious based on years of reading your posts and your previous status with Deseret News.
Duncan Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 6 minutes ago, lostindc said: The argument that a small percentage of leaders are carrying out the abuse is not really a strong argument at all. Every soul counts in the eyes of the Lord. What would Jesus do? I told you what I thought Jesus would do, the argument that a tiny percentage of people abuse the privilege is not a strong argument that every one does it and is therefore a problem, why use a cannon when a sniper rifle would do, what would Chris Kyle do?
Duncan Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 4 minutes ago, lostindc said: Get rid of worthiness interviews with minors. Eliminate sexually charged questions with adults. What would do Scott? I am genuinely curious based on years of reading your posts and your previous status with Deseret News. right and people who cheat on their spouses and abuse their children or others' can continue to do it and therefore the abuse continues
lostindc Posted September 17, 2018 Author Posted September 17, 2018 1 minute ago, Duncan said: I told you what I thought Jesus would do, the argument that a tiny percentage of people abuse the privilege is not a strong argument that every one does it and is therefore a problem, why use a cannon when a sniper rifle would do, what would Chris Kyle do? So you’re okay with rolling the dice on today’s LDS youth and keeping the status of worthiness interviews the same?
Duncan Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 (edited) 2 minutes ago, lostindc said: So you’re okay with rolling the dice on today’s LDS youth and keeping the status of worthiness interviews the same? You clearly are not reading previous posts or understand what they say-you don't answer my questions I am not taking the time to answer your questions Edited September 17, 2018 by Duncan 1
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