Chloroform In Print - Revisited

[Uncle Dale]

Chris "Rollo" Romig (of the Michigan Romigs, not the Independence clan)

graces the pages of the current issue of the New Yorker with a contribution

entitled "In Search of the Great American Bible" -- illustrated with a snapshot

of his last night's Marriott hotel room, nightstand drawer open, revealing...

 

...you guessed it -- that marvelous work and a wonder by I. Nephi, Bro. Mormon,

librarian Moroni and a host of nameless chronicles who lived (or perhaps did not)

amid the steamy jungles of Guatemala and the glacial moraines of the Empire State

long before sailor Columbus was a gleam in his dad's eye.

 

Mostly the piece is an attempted review of Avi Steinberg's "Lost Book of Mormon,"

and in that respect, at least, perhaps MD&D folks will be curious enough to look.

 

Iconoclast that I am, the line that caught my interest was:

 

>Steinberg rarely quotes directly from the Book of Mormon, which seemed odd until I tried to
>read it myself. As exciting as the plot sounds in paraphrase, the actual text smothers it in
>so many King Jamesian locutions that it’s barely discernable. No one’s ever claimed that the
>Book of Mormon rivals the literary achievements of the Bible or the poetic grace of the Koran
>in Arabic, but I was still surprised by the tedium.

 

Yeah -- don't feel too sorry for yourself, Mr. Romig -- I've had to wade through the thing

something like forty times (and most of that in the even denser Palmyra original text).

 

But, for those of you interested in correcting the errors of the Gentiles, the book reviewer

has shared his contact information on the web. Mayhap he'd welcome your response...

 

rolloroyce @ gmail.com

 

 

UD

 

"Royce" eh? Reminds me of the Rolls-Canardly:

the Brit auto that rolls well enough downhill, but

can 'ardly make it back up...

Edited February 13, 2015 by Uncle Dale

[Robert F. Smith]

.................................................................   

...you guessed it -- that marvelous work and a wonder by I. Nephi, Bro. Mormon,

librarian Moroni and a host of nameless chronicles who lived (or perhaps did not)

amid the steamy jungles of Guatemala and the glacial moraines of the Empire State

long before sailor Columbus was a gleam in his dad's eye.

..........................................................................     

>Steinberg rarely quotes directly from the Book of Mormon, which seemed odd until I tried to

>read it myself. As exciting as the plot sounds in paraphrase, the actual text smothers it in

>so many King Jamesian locutions that it’s barely discernable. No one’s ever claimed that the

>Book of Mormon rivals the literary achievements of the Bible or the poetic grace of the Koran

>in Arabic, but I was still surprised by the tedium.

.................................................................................  

I might just as well avail myself of the tedium of Rollo May's humanistic psychology, and to puzzle out why it is that people who are told that the very cheap wine they are tasting is very expensive, suddenly find that it tastes good.  The Book of Mormon is a mirror, and people pretty much find what they expect and want therein.

 

One of my RLDS friends in Independence had as his heart's desire the wish to rewrite the Book of Mormon in modern English.  Don't know if he ever succeeded, but the RLDS Church itself did go part way in that direction, even putting quotation marks in the text (their 1966 edition, I believe).  Since you have a way with words, Dale, why not try your hand at it, even to inserting steamy jungles and glacial moraines in the text -- though it is unlikely that Nephites or Lamanites ever dealt with either phenomenon (except very rarely in nearby rain forests), instead experiencing the temperate highlands of Guatemala and the very nice Chiapas Valley.

[Uncle Dale]

 

...the very nice Chiapas Valley.

 

I had the pleasure of an extended stay in the Palenque area in 1970

(before I moved from Boise to Utah), and can say from personal

experience that there are days when the rain forest there can be

ten times more steamy than the one I now live in.

 

But, after a cooling rain shower, the atmosphere was conducive to

to pyramid climbing and chit-chatting with a genuine Lakandon Ch'ol,

greyish homespun kaftan and all. His Spanish was just a touch worse

than mine, so mostly we exchanged a lot of smiles and federales loco

hombres agreements.

 

Never had any inclination to write about that though. In those days I

was still staunch Josephite loyalist, but even less of a BoM defender

than Mr. Romig's RLDS namesake. Such things were "tolerated."

 

But, yes, there was a Nephite Record published, in modern, 8th grade

level English. It should show up in some worldcat search of Lamoni titles.

 

Anyway, as the Hollywood stars say, "Any publicity is good publicity," and

the New Yorker's open nightstand photo, with Gideon Bible and missionary

edition BoM is priceless.

 

UD

[The Nehor]

I would agree. The Book of Mormon is not an exciting book. It is a necessary book. The same cycle repeats itself throughout Nephite history with different reasons and circumstances (which are applicable) leading to the same drab results. The book has eastern religious connotations in its call to break this dull cycle of sinning and punishment.

 

Given the choice I would rather have the revelations of the Brother of Jared or the things Nephi and Mormon were forbidden to write when the Savior comes and I really wish we had more information on the ideal society they built but it seems that was withheld. We got not the book we want but the book we need. It is the book of what not to do and in the preaching and in rare cases what you should actually do.

 

I can get depressed reading the Book of Mormon and it seems like the writers (Mormon in particular) acknowledge this but every so often it is incredibly exalting to the point of tears. The Book of Mormon makes me a cynic about humanity but hopeful for our distant future.

[Robert F. Smith]

I have a friend who says that whenever he wants to feel the Spirit, all he has to do is read a chapter of Scripture -- any Scripture, including the Book of Mormon -- and the Spirit comes.

 

Or maybe we could all sit zazen and think about a koan.  Heard any good koans lately, Nehor?

[mfbukowski]

I have a friend who says that whenever he wants to feel the Spirit, all he has to do is read a chapter of Scripture -- any Scripture, including the Book of Mormon -- and the Spirit comes.

 

Or maybe we could all sit zazen and think about a koan.  Heard any good koans lately, Nehor?

No koan but just an old joke.

 

The don't call it the book of Ether for nothing.

[Robert F. Smith]

No koan but just an old joke.

 

The don't call it the book of Ether for nothing.

[Uncle Dale]

No koan but just an old joke.

 

The don't call it the book of Ether for nothing.

 

Letmeseenow...

 

If I read through a chapter of the Song of Songs, and

then through an equally long genealogical list in Numbers...

 

Do I feel the same exhilaration of metaphysical bliss?

 

Or, If I read (for the zillionth time) how a Nephite trying

to defend the sheep of a Lamanite dignitary, cut off

arm, after arm, after arm, of approaching club-men,

too stupid to heave a rock at the pale face....

 

Do I feel the same kindredness of spirit, as with the

narrator of Job, or the sage of Ecclesiastes?

 

If ever I say I do, then carry me over to the LDS stake center

and dunk me -- for this  body and soul are not long to remain

boon companions...

 

UD

[readstoomuch]

It has to be devoured and pondered with

Some mental effort. Sure it could be revised I to modern language much like the RSv or ESV. The text makes one work harder and I think someday there will be an authorized modern version.

After all that, I read Alma 26 tonite with my kids. I felt Gods hand in the room and several lines stirred my soul. These types of events happen more with the "chloroform in print" than any thing I read. It works greatiracles if you work with it.

[Bobbieaware]

It would be a most interesting experience to be there on the day of judgement to to see the expression on the op's face when the Savior testifies to the gathered multitudes that the Book of Mormon truly is the word of God and that the only reason one would consider it "chloroform in print" is because he missed the boat.

[Traela]

In the guy's defense, I have a really hard time getting through 1st and 2nd Nephi (except for the chapters written by Jacob). Reviewers need to jump straight to Alma, or at least Mosiah.

[Tacenda]

In the guy's defense, I have a really hard time getting through 1st and 2nd Nephi (except for the chapters written by Jacob). Reviewers need to jump straight to Alma, or at least Mosiah.

Where were you 20 years ago!!???

I can't tell you how many times my family (kids) read through 1st and 2nd Nephi, only to have to start over again because we forgot what we read!

Edited February 13, 2015 by Tacenda

[pogi]

How superficial a measure of spiritual value is the poetic pose of words?  So the authors of the BoM were admittedly awkward in their writing, as Moses was awkward and slow of speech.  To skim the cosmetic covering is to overlook the visceral bounty and life source. 

 

Song of songs is like "whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones".  To compare it's scriptural value to that of the Book of Mormon is laughable.  Some seek after beauty and some seek after soul. 

Edited February 13, 2015 by pogi

[Uncle Dale]

Song of songs is like "whited sepulchres...

 

Stop by my humble abode here on the isles of the sea,

and we'll drink iced herbal tea and ponder St. Bernard's

sermons on the Canticle of Canticles -- maybe view some

Blake on the big screen and do some oral reading out of

Interior Castles and a chapter or two of St. John of the Cross.

 

The Song of Songs makes no sense until you've stood four

hours outside the icon wall of a dimly lit Russian Orthodox

cathedral, with anglic-sounding choir and minor key hymns.

 

But -- the Christians were wrong, to say it is an ode of

Christ to his Church -- the words hearken back to an

earlier era -- before Golgotha -- to YHWH's love for His

Chosen People -- the "heart" of all scripture -- the ideal

paradigm for understanding a love "strong as death."

 

President Smith was wrong about that one.

 

But don't just take my word for it. Listen to a thousand

learned voices, orthodox and reformed, Latin and Greek.

 

I fear Mormons see such literary manifestations through

color-blind eyes and hear those "songs" through deafened

ears. Oh well......

 

UD

[pogi]

The Song of Songs makes no sense until you've stood four

hours outside the icon wall of a dimly lit Russian Orthodox

cathedral, with anglic-sounding choir and minor key hymns.

 

Perhaps I have misjudged it on its surface.  I hope that others will not be guilty of the same mistake with the BoM. 

 

You have peaked my curiosity and I want to learn more.

[Uncle Dale]

Perhaps I have misjudged it on its surface.  I hope that others will not be guilty of the same mistake with the BoM. 

 

You have peaked my curiosity and I want to learn more.

 

If you go to all the trouble of purchasing a quality CD

of Russian Orthodox choir hymns, alternate that

"elevator music" with an equally acoustically pure 

collection of Gregorian chants.

 

Nice stuff for an hour spent gardening (if the stereo

effect is not lost outside by improper speaker location).

 

UD

[mfbukowski]

Letmeseenow...

 

If I read through a chapter of the Song of Songs, and

then through an equally long genealogical list in Numbers...

 

Do I feel the same exhilaration of metaphysical bliss?

 

Or, If I read (for the zillionth time) how a Nephite trying

to defend the sheep of a Lamanite dignitary, cut off

arm, after arm, after arm, of approaching club-men,

too stupid to heave a rock at the pale face....

 

Do I feel the same kindredness of spirit, as with the

narrator of Job, or the sage of Ecclesiastes?

 

If ever I say I do, then carry me over to the LDS stake center

and dunk me -- for this  body and soul are not long to remain

boon companions...

 

UD

Most works that are life changing are not entertaining. Wittgenstein is not exactly full of laughs either.

Read any Husserl lately?

[Uncle Dale]

...

Read any Husserl lately?

 

Can't say as I have, Pilgrim...

Would Andrew Hussey's The Inner Scar qualify as a close second?

Edited February 13, 2015 by Uncle Dale

[mfbukowski]

Can't say as I have, Pilgrim...

Would Andrew Hussey's The Inner Scar qualify as a close second?

Hmmmm, definitely a tough call, but I say no cigar.

 

I mean no banana split.  Wait a minute.  Are banana splits worse than cigars?

 

That's another tough call.

[Uncle Dale]

 

I mean no banana split.  Wait a minute.  Are banana splits worse than cigars?.

Only if they are consumed in times of no famine and

no heat of summer. They may then be used to cure

sick cattle.

Mild barley toppings may be applied if sold by the mini-bottle.

UD

[VideoGameJunkie]

I know people that spend too much time reading scriptures and other books that they don't have enough time for friends and family and others. I think Mormons and jews spend too much time reading and not enough time living life and enjoying life. Instead, they have their faces in books. Same can be said for people who play too many video games or watch too many movies and television. Reading falls under the same category. Mormons and jews have book fetishes it seems.

[Uncle Dale]

I know people that spend too much time reading scriptures and other books that they don't have enough time for friends and family and others. I think Mormons and jews spend too much time reading and not enough time living life and enjoying life. Instead, they have their faces in books. Same can be said for people who play too many video games or watch too many movies and television. Reading falls under the same category. Mormons and jews have book fetishes it seems.

 

The Arabs don't call us "people of the book" for nothing.

 

Somewhere, back in our social history, the content of

books became super-important. But, try and convince

any modern highschooler of that ancient fact.

 

There are periods of backtracking, and we are now in

one of those. Person-to-person contact is again becoming

the norm (though it be a long distance contact via phone

conversation or texting). The electronic connections and

Internet itself, have become one vast book.

 

2000 BC -- Ignorant peasants gazed at the hieroglyphs

cut into the king's temple wall -- thinking they must be

all important -- wondering what they said.

 

1000 BC -- Ignorant villagers gathered around the one

literate man anybody knew of, and listened while he

read an edict from the Emperor, or a sets of laws from

established scripture.

 

500 BC -- Half the people in the village could read and

write, at least enough to scratch their names on a shard

of pottery. But there was only one book in the village.

 

500 AD -- There were half a dozen books available, but

only the rich and powerful had possession of them.

 

1000 AD -- Nearest books were hidden away in a monastery 

and the village priest was nearly as illiterate as everybody 

else -- but knew enough Latin to supervise a mass.

 

1500 AD -- Even middle class folks could buy and read a

book -- and the idea of every man possessing a Christian

Bible was beginning to take shape in the public consciousness.

 

2000 AD -- Nobody but Mormons and Jews admit their book

fetish in public. Cell phones and web-connections threaten

the continuation of public libraries

 

2015 AD -- There's no longer a book store in town...

 

UD