Military As A Choice For Ym (Addendum)

[BCSpace]

Many apologies, but I was unable to get this under the wire in the recently locked thread. But I felt so strongly about it, I made this new thread. If it must be closed, then close it. But leave it visible because this is something my life experience has taught me and I wish to impart.

3. Are there other reasons we should or should not give him permission to sign on before 18?

That he not an adult yet is the strongest reason imho. However, if he is dead set on going military, perhaps you should let him go if he is a mature 17. It is a difficult judgement call to make and of course I don't have all the details you have. But it may be better to steer him into the military in an LDS context, such as making sure he connects with LDS chaplains and servicemen and women, than to put lots of pressure on him to serve a mission when such a thing may merely make him angry and dissatisfied with the Church.

17 is about the age when they really become independent and hard to "control" but they still love and respect you deep down and if you allow them to go their own way they will be eager to please you and feel better about their own context in the Church if you give them options and tasks they can still "manfully" perform such as still attending Church, receiving the Melchizedek priesthood, and going to the temple.

I have many children and three are already out on their own. One in particular made some bad choices as a high school senior and we were extremely upset, sad, and worried sick. But we adjusted (not lowered, that is key) our expectations a bit and let her have her own way while encouraging her in options for Church. She married in the temple and recently gave birth to my first grandchild.

If anyone is a Tolkien fan, think on this analogous event in LOTR:ROTK (the book, not movie) as an illustration of what I mean:

Upon the fourth day from the Cross Roads and the sixth from Minas Tirith they came at last to the end of the living lands, and began to pass into the desolation that lay before the gates of the Pass of Cirith Gorgor; and they could descry the marshes and the desert that stretched north and west to the Emyn Muil. So desolate were those places and so deep the horror that lay on them that some of the host were unmanned, and they could neither walk nor ride further north.

Aragorn looked at them, and there was pity in his eyes rather than wrath; for these were young men from Rohan, from Westfold far away, or husbandmen from Lossarnach, and to them Mordor from childhood had been a name of evil, and yet unreal, a legend that had no part in their simple life; and now they walked like men in a hideous dream made true, and they understood not this war nor why fate should lead them to such a pass.

“Go!” said Aragorn. “But keep what honour you may, and do not run! And there is a task which you may attempt and so be not wholly shamed. Take your way south-west till you come to Cair Andros, and if that is still held by enemies, as I think, then re-take it, if you can; and hold it to the last defense of Gondor and Rohan!”

Then some being shamed by his mercy overcame their fear and went on, and others took new hope, hearing of a manful deed within their measure that they could turn to, and they departed.

It is interesting to note that I learned this adjustment while I was on my mission. I was given a "one month old" companion who was desperate to go home and was told to make him see the light. I was from the same state and it was thought I could help him. He had a girlfriend at home who wouldn't marry him unless he went and parents would reward him if he stayed etc. For two months I did everything I could but it was no use and he was absolutely useless. Finally I told him, if the mission home won't let you go home, I will personally take you to the airport and not tell anyone until the plane is in the air.

The mission president saw the light and allowed him to go home. He got married in the temple to the same girl soon after (lucky for him).

Your experience may vary of course, but I think this adjustment in attitude can lead to more salvaging and salvation of souls. I hope you understand what I mean.

[Maestrophil]

Thanks, BC... I so appreciate everyone's input.