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Invite Or Not Invite To A Meeting?


Duncan

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So, I am the ward mission leader here in my ward. If everything goes well I am getting a new ward missionary. I dont know her at all well but I know she served a mission and is a recent move in with her hubbie. If she accepts she will be the only female ward missionary-we have another but she isn't well and can't make correlation meetings-which is fine and she does what she can in her own way-again which is fine by me. So, already it's me, 4 elders and basically 3 male ward missionaries who sometimes attend the mtgs, a lot of the times it's just me and the 4 elders. Do I say to Sister XYZ you need to come to the mtg but you might feel uncomfortable as it's going to be a room full of guys or do I say, don't come over because you would feel uncomfortable?-I dunno what to say to her and I don't want to offend her or make her feel excluded or anything. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. Any clues as to how to manage this?

Edited by Duncan
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Is there a reason to assume that she will be uncomfortable being the only female in the room? It might not bother her at all.

I would just let her know about the meetings and who will be there and see how she takes it.

I'm wondering though, isn't she going to need another female ward missionary so that she can actually go out and do stuff? Maybe i'm off on how ward missions work but i was under the impression they worked in twos, either as a couple or same gender informal partners.

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We only have a ward mission leader to my knowledge, but ours have never worked in pairs even when we did have them. They were just designated to go with the missionaries when needed, not necessarily to do splits.

Anyway I would just tell her the time of the meeting. If she feels uncomfortable, she will most likely tell you and maybe not come, but generally speaking I would guess she will. I don't think it is a big deal. I have meetings all the time at work where I am the only female or there is only one male in a room of females. It isn't a big deal.

I think it would be a bigger deal if you told her you wanted one on one meetings, but everyone else had them in a group setting.

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Is there a reason to assume that she will be uncomfortable being the only female in the room? It might not bother her at all.

I would just let her know about the meetings and who will be there and see how she takes it.

I'm wondering though, isn't she going to need another female ward missionary so that she can actually go out and do stuff? Maybe i'm off on how ward missions work but i was under the impression they worked in twos, either as a couple or same gender informal partners.

we work solo here! haha! our ward baptized a bunch of sisters last year and so I would like her to nurture them, they have been taught all the new members but just help them with questions, visit them on ocassion or and yeah just grab a sister and go out and teach or fo whatever. The last sister ward missionary was a dynamo and she taught by herself and was a one man gang. Just leaving it up to her and see what she says and how she takes it is a good idea!

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I was the only female ward missionary before I became RS teacher. It never crossed my mind to be uncomfortable about it. Looking back now, I probably talked more than the men in those meetings - I'm not exactly a wall flower and its a good bet she isn't either given her calling. If she is being set apart as a ward missionary then she is going to have what it takes. However, I have to point out that YOU sound like the one that is uncomfortable. Don't let this carry over by being overly sensitive to her. Her calling is as legit as any man's in that room! I don't know how it would've felt if my mission leader was like "Hey, Sister Bartlett, you don't have to actually show up for your calling from God because I understand that you're a girl." Missionary meetings were never an optional part of being a missionary for any of the guys was it? It certainly wasn't for me! I recommend going about it with something like "Our meetings are held on Wednesdays @ 1900. Is that going to work for you? If not, we will see what we can do and work things out. It is really great to have you on the team. You're service is much needed and appreciated!" Ya know, I honestly think they might be something wrong with the way things are going if you don't feel like you really need her there whether she is comfortable or not.

Edit: Um, sorry Duncan! That sounded way more harsh in type than it did in my head. Eek! I didn't really mean to say something is wrong with the way you're doing things, exactly. Also, I apologize for crappy spelling- I'm still getting used to my phone and this tiny, tiny little screen.

~ Naomi

Edited by Nominee
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I was the only female ward missionary before I became RS teacher. It never crossed my mind to be uncomfortable about it. Looking back now, I probably talked more than the men in those meetings - I'm not exactly a wall flower and its a good bet she isn't either given her calling. If she is being set apart as a ward missionary then she is going to have what it takes. However, I have to point out that YOU sound like the one that is uncomfortable. Don't let this carry over by being overly sensitive to her. Her calling is as legit as any man's in that room! I don't know how it would've felt if my mission leader was like "Hey, Sister Bartlett, you don't have to actually show up for your calling from God because I understand that you're a girl." Missionary meetings were never an optional part of being a missionary for any of the guys was it? It certainly wasn't for me! I recommend going about it with something like "Our meetings are held on Wednesdays @ 1900. Is that going to work for you? If not, we will see what we can do and work things out. It is really great to have you on the team. You're service is much needed and appreciated!" Ya know, I honestly think they might be something wrong with the way things are going if you don't feel like you really need her there whether she is comfortable or not.

Edit: Um, sorry Duncan! That sounded way more harsh in type than it did in my head. Eek! I didn't really mean to say something is wrong with the way you're doing things, exactly. Also, I apologize for crappy spelling- I'm still getting used to my phone and this tiny, tiny little screen.

~ Naomi

it's okay! one of my plethora of talents is I can most always tell when someone is uncomfortable, it comes from my own self conciousness I guess, but definately you're right!

Edited by Duncan
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I served a two-year stake mission (when they still had stake missionaries). If this person has been called as a ward missionary and set apart, she has been called... use her... One of my duties was to go out to the new member homes and teach the followup lessons.

Sounds like you need to call and set apart another female.

GG

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So, I am the ward mission leader here in my ward. If everything goes well I am getting a new ward missionary. I dont know her at all well but I know she served a mission and is a recent move in with her hubbie. If she accepts she will be the only female ward missionary-we have another but she isn't well and can't make correlation meetings-which is fine and she does what she can in her own way-again which is fine by me. So, already it's me, 4 elders and basically 3 male ward missionaries who sometimes attend the mtgs, a lot of the times it's just me and the 4 elders. Do I say to Sister XYZ you need to come to the mtg but you might feel uncomfortable as it's going to be a room full of guys or do I say, don't come over because you would feel uncomfortable?-I dunno what to say to her and I don't want to offend her or make her feel excluded or anything. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. Any clues as to how to manage this?

When in doubt...invite.
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Not having read the other posts yet, I would just invite her with a "it would be great if you could make it" which allows her an out as it is not a "you have to be there as part of your calling" type of invite and then tell her who is going to be there by name (with an "Elder" or "Brother" attached) so she can figure out it is all males without it being about them being males, so you are not giving any subtle messages that you think she might be uncomfortable with a room full of men.

I think most young women these days are okay with this unless they are naturally shy and would have a problem probably being in an all women meeting of the same size or one slightly larger.

Honestly, I think I am more uncomfortable in a room full of women than I am men, don't know why though. Could be because I associate all women with RS and me and RS are an awkward fit for a variety of reasons (the main one right now is not being able to sit down that long so it gets embarrassing when I get up to walk around).

Edited by calmoriah
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I was the only female ward missionary before I became RS teacher. It never crossed my mind to be uncomfortable about it. Looking back now, I probably talked more than the men in those meetings....

This is what happened when I was Scout Committee Leader, I talked to make sure everyone was on the same page and was aware of what each other was doing, the guys were 'let's just get this over with as soon as possible, I've taken care or will take care of my thing so no worries....'. :)
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I was the only female ward missionary before I became RS teacher. It never crossed my mind to be uncomfortable about it. Looking back now, I probably talked more than the men in those meetings - I'm not exactly a wall flower ...

~ Naomi

Shocking, that! :o Positively shocking, I tell you! :o;)

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um....possibly? we are a 2 callings each per ward type of people!

We are often that way....plus multiple assignments. Drives me nuts. Thankfully I am down to one calling, although in YW so it takes quite a bit of work and then VT.

My husband is down to one calling, but it is teaching seminary so almost daily, and one assignment and then home teaching.

Our Bishop did stop people from having three callings which I am very thankful for.

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We are often that way....plus multiple assignments. Drives me nuts. Thankfully I am down to one calling, although in YW so it takes quite a bit of work and then VT.

My husband is down to one calling, but it is teaching seminary so almost daily, and one assignment and then home teaching.

Our Bishop did stop people from having three callings which I am very thankful for.

YM/YW I think are demanding callings, every week you have to come up with something engaging for teens...that's tough

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