Home Teaching - The Numbers Game

[jskains]

So I have always been of the opinion that people don't like to be a number. I think there are inactive or boarderline members that get annoyed when someone is just there to report to their district leaders that they did it. I've always felt people should want to do it, not feel forced.

I've had this discussion in other wards, and generally most people are receptive, and feel a person should go in with a good attitude and if they really don't want to do their home teaching, there are cases when they might need to back off and go pray. Even the Church is piloting a different approach in our stake to try to address this very issue by making home teaching less of a "do this once a month" to "do it when it's needed".

Interestingly, in my new Utah County ward, I got slammed for saying it. Wowsers, they went nuts. A lot about obedience, and it doesn't matter, you do it, and it's all about nodding to the rules and returning and reporting. When I mentioned the leadership is just as concerned, I got steamrolled even more. I closed my mouth and nodded politely for the rest of the EQ class. I even bit my tounge through the whole "they likely have problems at home or want to sin" type mentality for people who are inactive. *Sigh*

What are your thoughts? Am I wrong? Should it be just obedience and the numbers, reguardless of the collateral damage it can cause? Wouldn't people who really believe in home teaching be visiting inactives rather than people trying to look good on their home teaching reports?

JMS

[stemelbow]

So I have always been of the opinion that people don't like to be a number. I think there are inactive or boarderline members that get annoyed when someone is just there to report to their district leaders that they did it. I've always felt people should want to do it, not feel forced.

I've had this discussion in other wards, and generally most people are receptive, and feel a person should go in with a good attitude and if they really don't want to do their home teaching, there are cases when they might need to back off and go pray. Even the Church is piloting a different approach in our stake to try to address this very issue by making home teaching less of a "do this once a month" to "do it when it's needed".

Interestingly, in my new Utah County ward, I got slammed for saying it. Wowsers, they went nuts. A lot about obedience, and it doesn't matter, you do it, and it's all about nodding to the rules and returning and reporting. When I mentioned the leadership is just as concerned, I got steamrolled even more. I closed my mouth and nodded politely for the rest of the EQ class. I even bit my tounge through the whole "they likely have problems at home or want to sin" type mentality for people who are inactive. *Sigh*

What are your thoughts? Am I wrong? Should it be just obedience and the numbers, reguardless of the collateral damage it can cause? Wouldn't people who really believe in home teaching be visiting inactives rather than people trying to look good on their home teaching reports?

JMS

I'm with ya. Our stake is also doing the "do it when its needed" idea rather than do it once a month. we've been at it for a year or so. I can't say its been any better though. It seems to me the doing it every month makes it easier to know what to do. That's the impression I get from those in our ward.

Anyway, sorry about the reaction of your quorum. That didn't sound fun.

[cdowis]

We do not have all members of the ward assigned to a home teacher. This program allows us to assign more families to a companionship, and we can just have a quick chat with the active member or visit them every few months. We then focus on the families that need it.

We get "credit" for the quick chat, as well as a full visit, as each family needs it.

If someone wants to visit all the families every month, FINE! It is optional and you can do it whichever method you want.

Edited March 7, 2012 by cdowis

[LDSToronto]

I've had this discussion in other wards, and generally most people are receptive, and feel a person should go in with a good attitude and if they really don't want to do their home teaching, there are cases when they might need to back off and go pray. Even the Church is piloting a different approach in our stake to try to address this very issue by making home teaching less of a "do this once a month" to "do it when it's needed".

When you say the Church is piloting a new HT program in your stake, do you mean that the directive came from SLC to pilot, or your stake president is trying something new?

H.

[Duncan]

we had a HT lesson on sunday and the one elder from Alberta was like, "that's pathetic, we don't do it like this in Alberta" no offense whatsoever to my friends from there but this isn't Boonslick Junction where everyone is a Mormon! Here you could swing a dead cat for hours and wouldn't hit one! You have to actaully get off your duff and get outside and visit!

Edited March 7, 2012 by Duncan

[LDSToronto]

Same when I lived in Northern Ontario, Duncan. Some HT visits were an hour long drive.

[rpn]

The purposes of both the HTing and VTing programs is so that every woman and every family is known well enough to someone, and cared for, such that (a) they can call upon that person for help, and (b) that person will know enough about them to step in and handle what needs to be handled for them in the way that person or family would want (which is only possible if the HTer and VTer KNOWS the persons involved, and cares enough about them to sacrifice their own needs, to meet the needs of those they serve IN THE WAY THAT THOSE WILL Actually feel the love of their savior and concern for them personally. That requires showing UP at important times (which can be done via video conferencing in some cases using the churches new video conferencing capability.

[rongo]

I'm with ya. Our stake is also doing the "do it when its needed" idea rather than do it once a month. we've been at it for a year or so. I can't say its been any better though. It seems to me the doing it every month makes it easier to know what to do. That's the impression I get from those in our ward.

How do these wards and stakes handle the home teaching portion of the monthly reports?

[bluebell]

It seems to me the doing it every month makes it easier to know what to do. That's the impression I get from those in our ward.

Anyway, sorry about the reaction of your quorum. That didn't sound fun.

This would be my concern as well with a 'do it when it's needed' idea. If you're not there every month and if you and the family are not on good terms and trust each other, how will you know what needs to be done and why would the family (especially an inactive family) ever ask you for help anyway?

If the greatest commandments really are 'love the Lord and love your neighbor' then home teaching and visiting teaching should be important to us. Though sometimes we're going to do better than others (and sometimes we are just going to fail at it for whatever reason), can we really call ourselves disciples of Christ if we don't at least want to be good home or visiting teachers? (That's not a judgment but an honest question).

[BCSpace]

Interestingly, in my new Utah County ward, I got slammed for saying it. Wowsers, they went nuts. A lot about obedience, and it doesn't matter, you do it, and it's all about nodding to the rules and returning and reporting. When I mentioned the leadership is just as concerned, I got steamrolled even more. I closed my mouth and nodded politely for the rest of the EQ class. I even bit my tounge through the whole "they likely have problems at home or want to sin" type mentality for people who are inactive. *Sigh*

If you have a strong opinion, you should defend it, even in EQ, even alone. Makes us all better. You should have heard the silence before the storm when I first defended evolution in EQ long ago. But I think all were edified. One elder had just listed evolution as an evil and I simply spoke up and said "I accept evolution as being in harmony with the Gospel."

[Hamba Tuhan]

Two comments:

1) My companion and I visit all five of our assigned families (one now active, four still inactive) every single month. When we first started visiting the now-active family, the father was antagonistic, but it was our faithful visits each month for eight years now which convinced him that he wasn't just a number to us. At his request, we now visit his family twice most months (again, proof that he's not just a number), and last month we were there three times because they wanted us to come 'round one evening just to eat and watch the telly. As a number of members have told me, nothing says, 'You're just a statistic to me,' more than infrequent visits.

2) As a missionary, one of my mates served as branch president in a newly created branch in Russia. One Sunday, he introduced the concept of home teaching to the growing priesthood in the branch. They were confused why there would need to be a formal programme of visits; the branch members already spent several evenings a week in each other's homes, reading scriptures, praying, singing, and talking together. My mate realised then that home teaching is a dumbed-down version of loving one another a bit like tithing is a dumbed-down version of the Law of Consecration: both are tools to help stubborn and hard-hearted Israel prepare to live much, much higher laws.

Edited March 8, 2012 by Hamba Tuhan

[cdowis]

How do these wards and stakes handle the home teaching portion of the monthly reports?

Each HT companionship reports its HT, and decides whether the family was home taught according to the new guidelines. I personally ensure that at the very least we have a "chat" with them over the phone or at church to count them as home taught. One of our families has a high counselor as the father, and another is active.

Check with your priesthood leader on the guideline. It was clearly expressed by our bishop that it is unnecessary to "sit on the couch" to count it. I asked my leader to assign another family to us so that we can cover more of the families. About 30-45% of the families are unassigned.

Edited March 8, 2012 by cdowis

[KevinG]

The numbers are not my goal but they do remind me to do what I should be doing. Right now my numbers are horrible - but I know quite a bit about what is going on with my families and the kind of help they need. Disciplining myself to prepare a lesson, get the suit on and pay a formal visit is a bit of an issue.

[Avatar4321]

When you realize that each of those "numbers" represents a soul & potentially a family and their journey to Christ, you begin to realie that there really isnt a conflict between keeping track of who is visited and who isnt.

[LeSellers]

There are several observations I've made about Home Teaching and "numbers":

1. Any ward with 80% or better Home Teaching every month is a "healthy" ward.
   
2. If the number is below 60%, the bishop doesn't see his family much.
   
3. The quality of Home Teaching improves as the quantity increases and vice versa.
   
4. If the quantity falls, the quality suffers, too.
   
5. If a bishop wants (and he should) to improve the quality of Home Teaching, he should encourage Home Teachers to visit every family, every month. If the first year's percentages rise, the second year's reports will be far more useful for him as he ministers to the ward.
   

Lehi

[frankenstein]

all too often blind mindless adherence to quantity destroys quality.

Respectful dissent goes a long way. On my mission too many missionaries where only concerned with the numbers they could report, this concern a number affected their judgment in how they most effectively used their time.

[jskains]

Sorry, I strongly disagree that quality goes up because of quantity, but that's JMHO.

[LeSellers]

Sorry, I strongly disagree that quality goes up because of quantity, but that's JMHO.

It's a trend, and it doesn't happen immediately. But this is the work of the Lord, and, even when we do it without an eye fully single to the Glory of God, we (typically, we're all just human) begin to get the spirit of it. And we learn to love our families. The way to spell "love" is T-I-M-E, or so I've been taught.

This is the key. That's why I strongly recommend that we not change assignments too frequently. I Home Taught the same family for 19 years before we left for Colorado, and I can truly say I love all of them: the now-dead grandmother, her non-member husband, and each of the three grandchildren they were raising. I missed seeing them (in both senses of the word) only five or six times in that two decades, and it was that consistency as much as anything that made that love possible.

Lehi

Edited March 8, 2012 by LeSellers

[rongo]

Sorry, I strongly disagree that quality goes up because of quantity, but that's JMHO.

Well, quantity is better than nothing, in the absence of quality. It can help you get to quality. A lesser law that bridges to the higher law.

Isn't attending sacrament meeting, even though you don't want to, better than not going at all (or waiting "until you feel like it?").

I once asked my father when I was a boy if I shouldn't pray unless I felt like it. What I wanted was for him to confirm that it's better to pray every day, even when they are sometimes less-than sincere, rather than only praying when I "feel" like it. I'm grateful for that advice. Much of our life in the Church is not necessarily exciting and "back-of-the-Ensign" stuff; yet, the sum total is made up largely of the mundane. And, the "back-of-the-Ensign" stories happen to us often while we're doing our duty.

I hear what you're saying, though. In some wards, the difference in visits between HT every month and "when needed" would be almost non-existent.

[Hamba Tuhan]

The way to spell "love" is T-I-M-E, or so I've been taught.

Indeed. I'm reminded of the notion of 'quality time' which is used by some parents to justify mostly ignoring their children so long as they make a big deal of their few minutes together when it suits them. The greatest indicator we can have of another's love is that person's willingness to prioritise us in his/her life.

Edited March 8, 2012 by Hamba Tuhan

[LeSellers]

I'm reminded of the notion of 'quality time' which is used by some parents to justify mostly ignoring their children ...

You're reminded. I'm revulsed.

Lehi

[jskains]

Indeed. I'm reminded of the notion of 'quality time' which is used by some parents to justify mostly ignoring their children so long as they make a big deal of their few minutes together when it suits them. The greatest indicator we can have of another's love is that person's willingness to prioritise us in his/her life.

Unfortunately, they say that cheap time is almost as bad as no time. Taking your kids to do something, while you spend most of it on your iPhone or basically ignoring them, or shortening the trip when you get bored has just as much damaging effects as ignoring them completely.

If you go into a home teaching assignment with a bad attitude, many people detect it and would rather you just leave. I am familiar with families who let in a guy who had that numbers attitude, and subsequently told the EQP "don't bother". Specifically saying that the guy didn't seem to really want to be there.

I think ignoring this reality is dangerous.

JMS

[Grundelwalken]

Our stake has been in the process of changing HT/VT for the past few years. We are using more couples and assigning larger numbers to each but only asking them to visit as the members require. It has done wonders for the HT/VT because as a couple you can schedule better and it is easier to find support in the visits. I think the members like it better also. We don't assign active members to regular HT/VT but we use some of the shut-ins to make calls and check on them. Everyone benefits and the ward seems to be closer than before. Not so worried about numbers -- more worried about people. MW