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How Do You Treat Ft Missionaries (Or Anyone For That Matter) When.....


RegularMormon

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I know I'm going to get flak on this but I don't care, lol I have my reasons...

So the elders show up at your door unannounced and want to "visit". Or your hometeacher/visiting teachers show up to say "Hi". Or even your Bishop/Stake President wishes to "pay you a visit" at your door step.... what is your VERY FIRST reaction/feeling?

For me, with 3 teenage kids, full time job and leadership callings for both myself and my wife...TIME is precious in our home! We schedule everything and sure as clockwork (mostly the Elder's or Hometeachers, I threw in the Bishop/SP just for discussion) someone will show up to "visit". Now this doesn't happen a lot, it just happned last month and I was just thinking about it but what do you do? Do you invite them in and just bite the bullet? Do you send them away?

This may be the one reason (among many lol) I may go to hell, but it ANNOYS the heck out of me! I've been very hard even at times (and repented..I hope lol) and reminded these young men time and time again to call or make an appointment. Sure enough when a new set comes in they have no clue. But it goes for hometeachers too. I don't know how many times I hear leadership encouraging us to just go and show up at members houses... I'm always the first (and normally the only one to stand up) and remind them, this is SO rude and disrespectful? Am I alone on this? The handbook even guides us to make an appointment...its a show of respect and courtesy. We wouldn't go to Present Monson's house unannounced would we? I for one have always sent unannounced visitors away and asked that the try to make an appointment next time. I even did this to a new Bishop years ago.

"Home teachers make appointments for their visits at times that are convenient for the individuals or families. They remember that they are guests of the members they visit."

http://lds.org/handb...ood?lang=eng#74

Okay, tantrum over...correct my evil ways.

Seriously though am I alone in this?

Edited by RegularMormon
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I feel similarly... & appreciate when someone lets me know they're going to stop by & I try to do the same.

The only exception is with neighborhood kids... I'm more relaxed, but, there are times when I've had to send them away.

Then again... Maybe we're all too uptight with schedules & need to make more down time to just sit on the porch & talk with our neighbors more.

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I don't know how many times I hear leadership encouraging us to just go and show up at members houses...

Maybe the leadership is saying this in response to people that make appointments only so they know when not to be at home or to answer the door.

This has been a struggle for me with Church. Who has time to just sit around and talk for hours on end? Better yet, who wants to do that?

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Maybe the leadership is saying this in response to people that make appointments only so they know when not to be at home or to answer the door.

This has been a struggle for me with Church. Who has time to just sit around and talk for hours on end? Better yet, who wants to do that?

you haven't met my parents

Edited by Duncan
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you haven't met my parents

ROFL! VERY true. I know several members who LOVE people stopping by, announced or unannounced. I would venture to say however that most of these don't have kids at home or are retired and love the company.

Edited by RegularMormon
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I know I'm going to get flak on this but I don't care, lol I have my reasons...

So the elders show up at your door unannounced and want to "visit". Or your hometeacher/visiting teachers show up to say "Hi". Or even your Bishop/Stake President wishes to "pay you a visit" at your door step.... what is your VERY FIRST reaction/feeling?

I wonder if they are really this bored if it's someone other then the missionaries.

Usually with missionaries I have much more sympathy because I know they're usually at that point in the evening where tracting is awkward and they have no appointments. I try to keep IBC in the fridge for this eventuality.

For me, with 3 teenage kids, full time job and leadership callings for both myself and my wife...TIME is precious in our home! We schedule everything and sure as clockwork (mostly the Elder's or Hometeachers, I threw in the Bishop/SP just for discussion) someone will show up to "visit". Now this doesn't happen a lot, it just happned last month and I was just thinking about it but what do you do? Do you invite them in and just bite the bullet? Do you send them away?

I don't have your problem and it's usually okay for me to visit for a bit. The only annoying one I've found is the "Home Teacher who will not go away at the end". They annoy.

This may be the one reason (among many lol) I may go to hell, but it ANNOYS the heck out of me! I've been very hard even at times (and repented..I hope lol) and reminded these young men time and time again to call or make an appointment. Sure enough when a new set comes in they have no clue.

Just be firm that you can't right now with missionaries. They usually have more people to see if you're busy. Usually member visits are something they just tack on at the end of the day.

But it goes for hometeachers too. I don't know how many times I hear leadership encouraging us to just go and show up at members houses...

Really? The only time I had leadership come by without calling was when I first moved in and they had my address but not my phone number so the ward clerk came by to get it and meet me. I understood why he used this route this time. The only time I've had Home Teachers stop by it was a "My wife made cookies and we have too many, here you go. You doing good? Great, I'll let you get back to what you were doing. See you Sunday." I don't mind that kind of visit.

I'm always the first (and normally the only one to stand up) and remind them, this is SO rude and disrespectful? Am I alone on this? The handbook even guides us to make an appointment...its a show of respect and courtesy. We wouldn't go to Present Monson's house unannounced would we? I for one have always sent unannounced visitors away and asked that the try to make an appointment next time. I even did this to a new Bishop years ago.

Don't know. Maybe this fits in with the "entertaining angels unawares" thing sometimes. Then again, I don't have a family so unless I'm working or in the middle of something critical I just generally wouldn't mind.

Okay, tantrum over...correct my evil ways.

Seriously though am I alone in this?

No, I remember when I was touring Nauvoo and was told that back then there was a certain way a house had its curtains hung to indicate whether they were able and wanting to receive guests that day. Maybe we should bring that back. :)

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I served a two-year Stake mission (back when they still had stake missionaries). One of my duties was to go on "splits" with the sister missionaries. Sometimes if we finished early they would want to "drop by" to see so-and-so... that happened a couple of times when I was with them including some embarrasing moments for the person we were dropping in on, so I told them I didn't approve of just dropping in and unless they had a firm appointment they could count me out. The next week in our meeting I told our ward mission leader the same thing, and if they insisted on this practice the sisters could get someone else to go with them because I would not (on one occasion a woman was already in bed and got up... on another an investigator came to the door obviously tipsy and she was embarrassed because the man that was there kept hollering out "Who is it? in a boozy voice).

from the beach on a breezy, cool day... fall is truly in the air with winter not far behind...

GG

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I ask if they are there for me or for them. If they claim they are there for me, I tell them that if they want to do something for me they can leave and call and make an appointment. If they admit they are there because of their own needs, I ask whether they think I should consider their needs above the needs of my family, and if they say yes, then invite them in.

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I got to the point, I'd refuse them entrance. An old Bishop was the worse offender. He'd turn up, without phoneing, knowing my husband was away, and demand to come in. Time and time again, I'd asked him and others to just please phone first, as I'm homebound, ill and sometimes in my pj's. If they phone and I'm up to it, I'd change to appropriate clothing, so they could come in.

He refused and would get very angry and not being allowed in. It surprised me how offended members got, at being asked to phone first and being refused entrance, if they just turned up.

My health is alot worse and I've not been out to church for years. We've just moved, so it'll be interesting to see how the new ward reacts. They won't know us a couple who used to have a sort of open house, who let members vist all the time, even had two move in with us,...to illness and having to protect ourselves. They will just see a private couple, who wants to be called first, so hopefully take no offence.

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I got to the point, I'd refuse them entrance. An old Bishop was the worse offender. He'd turn up, without phoneing, knowing my husband was away, and demand to come in. Time and time again, I'd asked him and others to just please phone first, as I'm homebound, ill and sometimes in my pj's. If they phone and I'm up to it, I'd change to appropriate clothing, so they could come in.

He refused and would get very angry and not being allowed in. It surprised me how offended members got, at being asked to phone first and being refused entrance, if they just turned up.

My health is alot worse and I've not been out to church for years. We've just moved, so it'll be interesting to see how the new ward reacts. They won't know us a couple who used to have a sort of open house, who let members vist all the time, even had two move in with us,...to illness and having to protect ourselves. They will just see a private couple, who wants to be called first, so hopefully take no offence.

Hello Somebodyz.... if I were you, since you're new to your ward, I'd schedule an appointment with the bishop and/or your Rel Soc president for them to come over and then I'd explain to them about your situation and ask that members please call before dropping in because you need to be prepared to receive visitors and so many times... most of the time... you are not. So any home teaching or visiting teaching should be by appointment. That should nip it in the bud, and they know the ground rules for visiting. Saves everyone...

I hope you're doing all right... it's too bad you can't attend Church... but I do hope you are able to receive your HT/VT so you keep that contact. All good wishes...

GG

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So the elders show up at your door unannounced and want to "visit". ... what is your VERY FIRST reaction/feeling?

For me, with 3 teenage kids, full time job and leadership callings for both myself and my wife...TIME is precious in our home! We schedule everything and sure as clockwork ... someone will show up to "visit". Now this doesn't happen a lot, it just happned last month and I was just thinking about it but what do you do? Do you invite them in and just bite the bullet? Do you send them away?

... it ANNOYS the heck out of me! I've been very hard even at times (and repented..I hope lol) and reminded these young men time and time again to call or make an appointment. Sure enough when a new set comes in they have no clue.

Sort of makes one more sympathetic of similar complaints from some of our non-LDS and “less active”-LDS posters. After all, if it is not OK for missionaries to make an occasional unannounced visit to members of their own church, why would it be OK for them to make such visits to those who are not members?

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In these days with cell phones, I see no excuse for stopping by unannounced except perhaps to drop stuff off, not to visit. However, if I didn't know the family well I think a warning call should be given even in the case of dropping stuff off.

I'll answer the door in my pjs, I don't get dressed unless I feel like it since I often lie down in between activities or not get up at all on bad days. I figure if the person is uncomfortable about it, they will call next time. I probably should put a warning sign on the door..."caution, people in pjs inside, enter at your own risk".

Edited by calmoriah
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