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Jesus Bumper Stickers


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Posted

Maybe we can all share our favorite Religious Bumper stickers... I saw a good one this morning on the commute.

"Jesus is coming back soon...

Quick... Everyone Look Busy."

Posted (edited)

"Favorite", I don't know. But one I saw that confused me for a very long time was

In case of rapture,

this car will be unmanned.

Since there were two women in the car, and since "rapture" means different things in different contexts, I was wondering what guy would even date these girls. This was all long before the Left Behind series.

Another one is

Jesus Saves

In this economy, that's a miracle

A third

Jesus is the answer.

What was the question?

Lehi

Edited by LeSellers
Posted (edited)

(A little political):

Obama is not Jesus...

Jesus could build a cabinet.

Edited by cinepro
Posted

Maybe we can all share our favorite Religious Bumper stickers... I saw a good one this morning on the commute.

"Jesus is coming back soon...

Quick... Everyone Look Busy."

One thing I have noted here in the Garden of Eden (The South), the bigger the Jesus sticker, the more obnoxious the person driving the car. When I worked for the City of Atlanta we had an inspector who drove his own vehicle with large signs about burning in hell…complete with people in flames. He also wore an I Love Jesus hat, I never know a more hateful man. He used to put anti-mormon lit on my desk at work.

Posted

One thing I have noted here in the Garden of Eden (The South), the bigger the Jesus sticker, the more obnoxious the person driving the car. When I worked for the City of Atlanta we had an inspector who drove his own vehicle with large signs about burning in hell…complete with people in flames. He also wore an I Love Jesus hat, I never know a more hateful man. He used to put anti-mormon lit on my desk at work.

I think I've seen his car. :diablo:

I think the pattern you noticed is ecumenical. It seems the most obnoxious among us insist on having a blazingly large public identity.

I cringe when I see the RULDS2 bumper stickers in the ward parking lot.

Posted

I think I've seen his car. :diablo:

I think the pattern you noticed is ecumenical. It seems the most obnoxious among us insist on having a blazingly large public identity.

I cringe when I see the RULDS2 bumper stickers in the ward parking lot.

Well you can always dawn the dixie flag and head up north. ;)

Posted

I think I've seen his car. :diablo:

I think the pattern you noticed is ecumenical. It seems the most obnoxious among us insist on having a blazingly large public identity.

I cringe when I see the RULDS2 bumper stickers in the ward parking lot.

If you are who I remember we worked across the street from each other in Atlanta, he drove it for 15 years all around downtown, so I am sure you have seen him many times.

Posted

I cringe when I see the RULDS2 bumper stickers in swerve wildly into the ward parking lot, cutting everyone else in the turning lane off as they honk and wave at church friends.

Yeah. I hate that, too.

Posted

Well you can always dawn the dixie flag and head up north. ;)

If you really want to live dangerously, don the "The south lost, get over it" bumper sticker and head to Virginia!

One of my history professor tells a story of a buddy of his who had just such a bumper sticker and went into a certain county in Virginia to pick up a ham. Both my prof. and this guy were standing inside a convience store buying something on their way back across the county line when a nice man came up and this conversation ensued:

"Is that your car in the parking lot?"

"Yes, it is."

"Your tires are on fire."

Less than an hour spent in this particular county with a yankee bumper sticker (and i cannot remember the name but it's not that far from Jamestown) and his car went up in flames.

Now THAT's holding a grudge. :D

As for Jesus bumper stickers, the one that i find very annoying is the "Jesus is my co-pilot" one. I can't say exactly why it bugs me so much, but it does.

Posted

A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersectiion with him. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

(I didn't write this. I wish I could claim credit.)

Posted

I think my favorite one is the "text to meet him" sticker.

When I was on my mission, my companion and I would sing the following little ditty (to ourselves):

Saved by grace, not by works,

I don't even go to church

Got a little fishy on my bumper

I don't let the Elders in

I just like to live in sin

Got a little fishy on my bumper

Posted (edited)

I heard of one that says, "Warning: In case of Rapture this car will swerve slightly as my mother-in-law takes the wheel" Some more...a little long, but interesting ...

  • Jesus Love You: I am really Trying
  • Five out of five demons agree, Christ is King!
  • As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools!
  • Before you go to sleep, give your problems to God. He’ll be up all night anyway.
  • April 1st: National Atheists’ Day.
  • If you can’t stand the heat– better make plans to avoid it.
  • The wages of sin is death– quit before payday!
  • Rapture… separation of church & state!
  • If you’re puzzled by life, Jesus is the missing peace!
  • In case of rapture… car’s yours!
  • Do you follow Jesus this closely?
  • Choosy moms choose life
  • Why drink and drive, when you can pray and fly?
  • Make your eternal reservations now— ‘smoking’ or ‘non-smoking’?
  • Count your blessings! Recounts are OK—
  • Don’t be God’s weakest link!
  • Give God what’s right, not what’s left.
  • “Pray” is a four letter word that you can say anywhere (except in a public school).
  • Man’s way leads to a hopeless end! God’s way leads to an endless hope.
  • A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
  • He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
  • To be almost saved is to be totally lost.
  • In the sentence of life the Devil may be a comma,but DO NOT LET him be the PERIOD.
  • Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.
  • God loves everyone, but probably prefers “fruits of the spirit over religious nuts”.
  • Are you wrinkled with burden? Come on into Church for a faith lift.
  • Prayer – Don’t give God instructions-just report for duty.
  • Walmart isn’t the only saving place.
  • God doesn’t want shares of your life; He wants controlling interest.
  • Don’t wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
  • A family altar can alter a family.
  • We don’t change the message, the message changes us.
  • This Church is “Prayer Conditioned”.
  • When God ordains, He sustains.
  • WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
  • Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.
  • Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity.
  • Having truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
  • Exercise daily. Walk with the Lord.
  • Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
  • Wisdom has two parts: (1) Having a lot to say. (2) Not saying it.
  • Never give the devil a ride! He will always want to drive.
  • Watch your step carefully! Everyone else does.
  • A clean conscience makes a soft pillow.
  • Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.
  • You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
  • He who is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
  • Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
  • He who angers you controls you.
  • Worry is the darkroom in which “negatives” are developed.
  • Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler.
  • For all you do, His blood’s for you.
  • Forbidden fruits creates many jams.
  • Be ye fishers of men. You catch them and He will clean them.
  • Deciding not to choose is still making a choice.
  • God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
  • Is Someone in Heaven Expecting to see you there?
  • Live For Jesus Now Read the Bible — It Will Scare the h*** Out of You!
  • God’s been patient… So Far!
  • Jesus is coming, and boy is he mad!
  • God allows “U-Turns”
  • We believe in UFO’s: Unity, Forgiveness and Outreach!
  • A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
  • In the sentence of life the devil may be a comma, but NEVER let him be the Period.
  • If you can’t Sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd..In the dark?
  • Atheism is myth-understood
  • Faith is believing what you know ain’t so!
  • Adam – a rough Draft
  • Don’t Believe everything you think…
  • Support Evolution: 500 thousand Amphibians can’t be wrong.
  • “Do what ever he tells you to do” Mary
  • Experience Life At No Cost! Call 1-800-MEET-God
  • Friends don’t let friends miss out on Heaven!
  • Go to church. Avoid the Christmas rush.
  • Next time you think you’re perfect … try walking on water!
  • I was saved by Body Piercing
  • In Case of Rapture this car will be unoccupied
  • Don’t go without the flow
  • God grades on the cross, not the curve.
  • A Bible in the hand is worth two in the bookcase.
  • Blessed by Jesus – Spoiled by my husband.
  • Bring the children to me — God.
  • C’mon over and bring the kids — God.
  • CAUTION! Non-exposure to the Son will cause burning.
  • CAUTION! God At Work! Person In Progress!
  • Christians are square… with God.
  • Did you thank God today?
  • Do you have any idea where you’re going?– God.
  • Don’t follow me, follow Jesus!
  • Don’t give up. Look up!
  • Don’t think God has a sense of humor? Look at the platypus.
  • Don’t worry about tomorrow, God is already there!
  • Empower yourself, Lean on the Lord.
  • Enlighten Up!
  • Even Darwin KNOWS God created earth (now).
  • Everyone has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
  • Father God created Mother Earth!
  • For all you do, His blood’s for you!
  • Go to church don’t wait for the Hearse to take you.
  • God gives and forgives, Man gets and forgets!
  • God is. Any questions?
  • God loves you whether you like it or not!
  • God loves you! And I’m really trying.
  • God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
  • GOD RULES – always has. always will.
  • God says it, I believe it, That settles it.
  • God spoke, and BANG! It happened!
  • Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonalds makes you a hamburger.
  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore that going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
  • Have a God day!
  • Have God, will travel!
  • Have you read my #1 best seller? There’ll be a test — God
  • Heaven is outta this world!
  • His pain, our Gain!
  • I’m under the influence… of God!
  • I don’t question your existence – GOD.
  • If you want to get High, try the Lord!

http://christiancarguy.com/2010/05/christian-bumper-stickers/

Edited by Ron Beron
Posted

I think my favorite one is the "text to meet him" sticker.

When I was on my mission, my companion and I would sing the following little ditty (to ourselves):

Saved by grace, not by works,

I don't even go to church

Got a little fishy on my bumper

I don't let the Elders in

I just like to live in sin

Got a little fishy on my bumper

Well I can understand why people wouldn't let you in.

Posted

Aslan's on the move

The goddess loves you; everyone else thinks you are a jerk.

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.

Ankh if you love ISIS.

Ankh if you love RA.

Back Off, I'm a Goddess.

BE WITCHED.

Born again Pagan.

Celebrate Goddess!

Do Not Meddle in the affairs of Witches ...

Every day's a holiday when you're pagan!

Get a taste of religion. Lick a witch.

Goddess in training!

Goddess is alive and magic is about!

Goddess on board!

Goddess on the loose

Great Goddess Great Horned God, Moon's Wink And Magic's Nod!

Have You Hugged A Witch Today?

Honk if you love Isis

I'm Pagan & I vote!

In Goddess we trust

Isis Astarte Diana Hecate Demeter Kali Inanna

Isis, Isis, Ra Ra Ra

Licensed Broom Pilot!

Life is a Witch, and then you fly

My Goddess Gave Birth To Your God

My mother is a Goddess.

My other car is a broom

My Other Car Is a Chariot

My other vehicle is a broom stick!

My wife's other car is a broom stick!

My wife's other car is a broom.

Out of the Broom Closet.

Pagan and Proud!

Pagans make better lovers.

Pagans make the best of friends, they worship the ground you walk upon.

Pan Pipes, Pan Plays, Pan's Delight

Perfectly Pagan!

Powered by broom fuel.

Protected by Witchcraft!

Something Wiccan this way comes.

Sorry I missed church, I was busy practicing witchcraft

Tastes Like Wiccan

The Goddess does not seek worship – she rejoices in being vividly imagined.

The goddess is alive and magic is afoot

Under protection of the Goddess.

We All come from the Goddess

Where Goddess Goes, Magic Grows.

Where there's a Witch, there's a Way.

White Witch!

Wiccan Army: We will not fly silently into the night!

Witches Parking (all others will be toad)

Witch Wagon - Tailgaters will be Toad!

Witch: My other vehicle is a broom stick.

Witches are Crafty People!

Witches are just so crafty!

Witches do it in circles!

Witches Heal!

Witches use brooms because nature abhors a vacuum.

Wizard Wagon - Tailgaters will be toad!

Wizards have crystal balls & Halloween - what have you got?

You call her mother nature, I call her Goddess.

Posted

I have a real difficult time mixing the topic of Jesus bumper stickers with anything from the occult. It is the proverbial finger nails on the chalkboard; they do not go together under any circumstances. =@

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