Jesus Bumper Stickers

[cinepro]

I served my mission in a very Catholic part of the country, and rumor had it that some missionaries had put a bumper sticker on their car that said:

The Pope Might Be Catholic,

But Jesus is a Mormon

[DH]

I have a real difficult time mixing the topic of Jesus bumper stickers with anything from the occult. It is the proverbial finger nails on the chalkboard; they do not go together under any circumstances.

Some would say that Joseph Smith dabbled in the occult, what with his peepstones and Jupiter talisman.

Many religious people mix, to one degree or another, their religion with "the occult." Catholicism does it plenty, and then you have syncretic religions like Santería, and Haitian Vodou. I've even heard people refer to Jesus himself as a powerful magician, and to the Bible as a huge repository of occult knowledge.

I don't know that I necessarily agree with all that, but there are people who make those claims.

Edited August 31, 2011 by DH

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

I think my favorite one is the "text to meet him" sticker.

When I was on my mission, my companion and I would sing the following little ditty (to ourselves):

Saved by grace, not by works,

I don't even go to church

Got a little fishy on my bumper

I don't let the Elders in

I just like to live in sin

Got a little fishy on my bumper

Born again free from sin

Smoke some dope drink some beer

Go to church once a year.

Edited August 31, 2011 by Mola Ram Suda Ram

[Zakuska]

Some would say that Joseph Smith dabbled in the occult, what with his peepstones and Jupiter talisman.

Many religious people mix, to one degree or another, their religion with "the occult." Catholicism does it plenty, and then you have syncretic religions like Santería, and Haitian Vodou. I've even heard people refer to Jesus himself as a powerful magician, and to the Bible as a huge repository of occult knowledge.

I don't know that I necessarily agree with all that, but there are people who make those claims.

Well spitting in the dirt and making mud to heal and then going washing in a magic pool of water is pretty occultic if you ask me.

[cinepro]

Born again free from sin

Smoke some dope drink some beer

Go to church once a year.

This ditty was popular on my mission as well...

(Sung to the tune of "Book of Mormon Stories")

Catholic member stories that my teacher tells to me.

Church attendance twice a year, it's called "hypocrisy"

Long ago their fathers claimed an ice cube God must be,

In the end, screaming "Please, don't burn me"

Edited August 31, 2011 by cinepro

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

This ditty was popular on my mission as well...

(Sung to the tune of "Book of Mormon Stories")

Catholic member stories that my teacher tells to me.

Church attendance twice a year, it's called "hypocrisy"

Long ago their fathers claimed an ice cube God must be,

In the end, screaming "Please, don't burn me"

oh, snap, that is funny. An ice cube God.... Lol.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

I saw this one on my mission: "wise men still seek him".

This is without a doubt true. I just like seeing him used as a marketing ploy.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

I served my mission in a very Catholic part of the country, and rumor had it that some missionaries had put a bumper sticker on their car that said:

The Pope Might Be Catholic,

But Jesus is a Mormon

I remember the line from a movie…A Knight’s Tale

“The Pope may be French, but Jesus is English”

[volgadon]

I remember the line from a movie…A Knight’s Tale

“The Pope may be French, but Jesus is English”

"Is God an Englishman? Well, that's a tricky one. Theologians are pretty much undecided, but I think it's universally accepted that he isn't Welsh." - Stephen Fry, A Bit of Fry and Laurie.

[Nathair/|\]

I remember the line from a movie…A Knight’s Tale

“The Pope may be French, but Jesus is English”

"Is God an Englishman? Well, that's a tricky one. Theologians are pretty much undecided, but I think it's universally accepted that he isn't Welsh." - Stephen Fry, A Bit of Fry and Laurie.

Well, Mary's midwife was an Irish woman.

http://www.irelandforvisitors.com/articles/brigit_the_mary_of_the_gael.htm

Edited September 1, 2011 by Nathair

[Zeta-Flux]

Well I can understand why people wouldn't let you in.

Why do you think that? We got in all the time. Just not in the homes of people with little fishies on their bumpers. :-p

[Ron Beron]

Some would say that Joseph Smith dabbled in the occult, what with his peepstones and Jupiter talisman.

Many religious people mix, to one degree or another, their religion with "the occult." Catholicism does it plenty, and then you have syncretic religions like Santería, and Haitian Vodou. I've even heard people refer to Jesus himself as a powerful magician, and to the Bible as a huge repository of occult knowledge.

I don't know that I necessarily agree with all that, but there are people who make those claims.

Seer stones and the Jupiter talisman are not necessarily either occultic or witchcraft.

Edited September 1, 2011 by Ron Beron

[jo1952]

A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersectiion with him. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

(I didn't write this. I wish I could claim credit.)

Excellent!!!!!!

jo

[Yirgacheffe]

Why do you think that? We got in all the time. Just not in the homes of people with little fishies on their bumpers. :-p

Oh just the attitude expressed in your little ditty. The attitude of your missionaries, so well expressed in your "song" is the reason there is a "no soliciting" sign on my door. I went for years with the JW's and the SDA's no problem, two rounds with you guys and I was done. No fishies on my bumpers in case you wondered.

Edited September 1, 2011 by Yirgacheffe

[Calm]

Some would say that Joseph Smith dabbled in the occult, what with ..... [alleged] Jupiter talisman.

There are no contemporary reports and the person who claimed it was the [grand?]son of the man who Emma married, Charles Bidamon, which is problematic in my view considering how he reports it was a cherished possession JS was always carrying around and was with him when he died (but not found in the list of personal possession made nor given to his own sons, but to someone who had no emotional, familial or legal connection with him?) Not protesting because I care whether or not JS had some occult items in his possession, I have tons all through my house, just protesting for accuracy's sake. Edited September 1, 2011 by calmoriah

[Zakuska]

Gees, a person dies with a lucky rabbits foot on their key chain and all of a sudden they are some kind of demon spawned, necromancer!

Edited September 1, 2011 by Zakuska

[Calm]

Well, while the verses may show the missionaries may be good at rhyming, they make them come across as pretty ignorant otherwise in my opinion....but I guess that fits in with a lot of the bumper stickers demonstrating that LDS are just as human as the next guy.

[Calm]

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

One of my favourite cartoon's has a knight looking up at a dragon with the caption "crunchy on the outside, soft and gooey on the inside".

Not the same one, but you get the idea:

Edited September 1, 2011 by calmoriah

[Zeta-Flux]

Oh just the attitude expressed in your little ditty. The attitude of your missionaries, so well expressed in your "song" is the reason there is a "no soliciting" sign on my door. I went for years with the JW's and the SDA's no problem, two rounds with you guys and I was done. No fishies on my bumpers in case you wondered.

And what attitude is that? I'm sorry you apparently had two poor sets of missionaries, but I think you may be reading more into the ditty than is there.

Added: As I said, we only sang the ditty to ourselves. Maybe to give you some context, I served my mission in Alabama and Mississippi, about the time that the Baptist convention was gearing up to come proselyte in Utah. There really were people we ran into, who were unkind, and expressed the opinions in that ditty. They felt they were saved no matter what sins they committed, felt no need to repent, and were unkind to the missionaries at the door. They would tell us what we "really" believed (having been instructed by their pastors through videos, etc...). I especially remember knocking on the door of the pastor of the First Baptist church in the little town we were in, and how he treated my companion (this was before the bar raising, and my companion was a handicapped fellow with a very sweet spirit, but also very poor talking skills).

Also note, I didn't think that each and every person who had a little fishy on their bumper was going to be unkind. I would probably put one of them on my bumper if I was given one. For the most part, people were quite kind to us.

Edited September 1, 2011 by Zeta-Flux

[seriously honestly]

Why do you think that? We got in all the time. Just not in the homes of people with little fishies on their bumpers. :-p

Probably wouldn't have if you had sung that little song of yours for them.

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

Probably wouldn't have if you had sung that little song of yours for them.

If some one actually sang that to some one (EV) they would be a total fool.

[Zakuska]

If some one actually sang that to some one (EV) they would be a total fool.

Well singing praises to a book is worse. ... because my bible tels me so.

[seriously honestly]

Well singing praises to a book is worse. ... because my bible tels me so.

Book of Mormons stories that my teacher tells to me....

Either song could hardly be considered singing praises to a book.

[Calm]

Also note, I didn't think that each and every person who had a little fishy on their bumper was going to be unkind. I would probably put one of them on my bumper if I was given one. For the most part, people were quite kind to us.

The fish symbol is likely sacred to many, to call it a "fishy" when used in the context of indicating one is a Christian or something rather similar comes across as disrespectful, though I do not doubt it was not meant that way.

[Judd]