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After Years Im Back


bnaur

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I was a very active ex-Mormon on this board for a long time... well I am back. God changed me and I have embraced the gospel once again in my life. Now I cannot understand how I could have ever left. The cost for me leaving was HIGH. Too high. But God has worked a miracle and in my suffering, I had to reevaluate and turn my stubborn heart back to the God and truth... not that I saw it that way when I left, but I do now. This is my first post in years and as (as I used to say) a 'true believing Mormon'. I have a testimony that God does do miracles, its not just words, there is an after-life and now is the time to prepare. Those who do not know that, will likely suffer greater than I have while alive (and that was bad).

I hope to help those who are looking at history with skepticism, and see it with faith, faith that God does perform miracles. I know that now. Doubt is easy to find, Gods miracles are easily set aside? But God is working a plan for us and the Gospel truly is a marvelous work and a wonder.

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I was a very active ex-Mormon on this board for a long time... well I am back. God changed me and I have embraced the gospel once again in my life. Now I cannot understand how I could have ever left. The cost for me leaving was HIGH. Too high. But God has worked a miracle and in my suffering, I had to reevaluate and turn my stubborn heart back to the God and truth... not that I saw it that way when I left, but I do now. This is my first post in years and as (as I used to say) a 'true believing Mormon'. I have a testimony that God does do miracles, its not just words, there is an after-life and now is the time to prepare. Those who do not know that, will likely suffer greater than I have while alive (and that was bad).

I hope to help those who are looking at history with skepticism, and see it with faith, faith that God does perform miracles. I know that now. Doubt is easy to find, Gods miracles are easily set aside? But God is working a plan for us and the Gospel truly is a marvelous work and a wonder.

Good to have you back. Welcome.

Kevin Christensen

Pittsburgh, PA

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Hello bnaur...

I too was inactive for many years, although I retained threads of a testimony. Thus, through the years I never could bring myself to associate with any other faith... I still prayed and read my scriptures, etc.

The sudden death of my mom as I held her in my arms waiting for the ambulance... and saw the light go from her eyes... and knew she had passed through the veil whipped me around and sent me running back to the Church. I started all over again, reading, studying, praying and fasting... and here I am today... a true believing Mormon, happy and at peace.

Welcome back.

from the beautiful central Oregon coast... GG

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I was a very active ex-Mormon on this board for a long time... well I am back. God changed me and I have embraced the gospel once again in my life. Now I cannot understand how I could have ever left. The cost for me leaving was HIGH. Too high. But God has worked a miracle and in my suffering, I had to reevaluate and turn my stubborn heart back to the God and truth... not that I saw it that way when I left, but I do now. This is my first post in years and as (as I used to say) a 'true believing Mormon'. I have a testimony that God does do miracles, its not just words, there is an after-life and now is the time to prepare. Those who do not know that, will likely suffer greater than I have while alive (and that was bad).

I hope to help those who are looking at history with skepticism, and see it with faith, faith that God does perform miracles. I know that now. Doubt is easy to find, Gods miracles are easily set aside? But God is working a plan for us and the Gospel truly is a marvelous work and a wonder.

Congratulations on finding peace in your life.

Though I am a former LDS member who is now an atheist, I am happy for those who do find peace and truth for their own lives.

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And your story, Messenger, is awesome... sometimes I think that when we have been inactive and then desire to return we become stronger than ever. I know I appreciate my testimony more now... and always seek to strengthen and keep it.

GG

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I even had a tattoo of a compass put on my arm, and for some strange reason I still look at it and smile!
You brought back a very fond memory. A dear friend who my son asked to speak at his baptism gave him a compass (it tied into his talk), he still has it. Not bad for a tattoo. :)
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I was a very active ex-Mormon on this board for a long time... well I am back. God changed me and I have embraced the gospel once again in my life. Now I cannot understand how I could have ever left. The cost for me leaving was HIGH. Too high. But God has worked a miracle and in my suffering, I had to reevaluate and turn my stubborn heart back to the God and truth... not that I saw it that way when I left, but I do now. This is my first post in years and as (as I used to say) a 'true believing Mormon'. I have a testimony that God does do miracles, its not just words, there is an after-life and now is the time to prepare. Those who do not know that, will likely suffer greater than I have while alive (and that was bad).

I hope to help those who are looking at history with skepticism, and see it with faith, faith that God does perform miracles. I know that now. Doubt is easy to find, Gods miracles are easily set aside? But God is working a plan for us and the Gospel truly is a marvelous work and a wonder.

Good for you.

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I got seriously inactive after my divorce. At the time I thought nobody really cared about me and the pain I was going through. Not having my kids around was really hard. Looking back now, my ADHD was in full swing, and most people didn’t dare get to close to me, I mean who would?

Messenger, having suffered through two divorces and having ADHD, whose bigger and meaner brother is depression, which isn't all that uncommon, I have been there and wear the t-shirt.

bnaur, welcome back.

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I was a very active ex-Mormon on this board for a long time... well I am back. God changed me and I have embraced the gospel once again in my life. Now I cannot understand how I could have ever left. The cost for me leaving was HIGH. Too high. But God has worked a miracle and in my suffering, I had to reevaluate and turn my stubborn heart back to the God and truth... not that I saw it that way when I left, but I do now. This is my first post in years and as (as I used to say) a 'true believing Mormon'. I have a testimony that God does do miracles, its not just words, there is an after-life and now is the time to prepare. Those who do not know that, will likely suffer greater than I have while alive (and that was bad).

I hope to help those who are looking at history with skepticism, and see it with faith, faith that God does perform miracles. I know that now. Doubt is easy to find, Gods miracles are easily set aside? But God is working a plan for us and the Gospel truly is a marvelous work and a wonder.

We may give up from time to time; but God NEVER gives up! It is in our darkest hours of suffering we have the opportunity, if we will accept and allow it, to have our spirits purged and prepared for our continuation in eternity. It seems strange to say that it is a blessing for those who do discover this while they are in the flesh. Yet we are much better off to suffer our purging while we are in our second estate, even though it may not feel like a blessing while we are going through the process.

I rejoice with you in finding peace once more in your journey.

Love,

jo

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Messenger,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. God's love is an amazing thing! There is great healing in His perfect love for us. Our learning to love God and others is the key to becoming one with our Savior and with our Heavenly Father, and with one another. In experiencing/being recipients of God's love, He becomes the perfect teacher for us to learn this most important principle.

Love,

jo

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That was an awesome story.

I got seriously inactive after my divorce. At the time I thought nobody really cared about me and the pain I was going through. Not having my kids around was really hard. Looking back now, my ADHD was in full swing, and most people didn’t dare get to close to me, I mean who would? After several years my life seemed empty and meaningless. There were no eternal desires for improvement. I was spending all of my time out on the dunes racing quads and meeting new friends. I had a website and owned a business dedicated to quad performance. And for a time I was a little famous, in a local sort of way. I also met some famous people, one of them, now a retired NBA basketball player to whom I still communicate via Facebook. Despite the years of non-stop action in this field, with seemingly endless friends, and lots of money, I was very directionless in a spiritual way. I even had a tattoo of a compass put on my arm, and for some strange reason I still look at it and smile! So, after about 5 years of being on what the Amish call a rumspringa, I decided I needed to come back to church. I prayed a lot about it. For several weeks I didn’t get an answer, but I kept praying anyways. The thought occurred that the Lord might want me to leave the business and the website all behind. I must admit, I had a hard time contemplating that. Then one morning I heard a voice, it was saying my first name. The voice didn’t come from anywhere specific, but all around, but was completely audible. I knew it was the Lord calling me. So, I started making arrangements to sell my business. Everything seemed to fall into place and I had a buyer in about a week. I then moved to Utah and got back on track, leaving all of it behind.

There were a lot of roadblocks for sure. And anyone of them could have spelled the end of my return. But I just wouldn’t have it! My return to the church caused quite a stir with several members. There were a lot of rumors of what I had done when I was inactive; all of those crazy times out on the dunes with friends and customers. I think a few people even wrote into the church about what they had heard and questioned my sincerity about returning. When I was up for Priesthood advancement, my Branch President told me that a General Authority wanted to meet with me at the church office building in SLC. I was also curious as to why. My Branch President encouraged me to just accept it, and look at it as a positive event. So I did. It was an awesome meeting. We talked about events around my divorce, and after. I openly confessed about having a problem with the Word of Wisdom, which was something that I had already repented of. He asked me to tell him why I thought I went inactive. I answered his question. I admit, he looked a little unsatisfied with my answer (perhaps another ADHD moment). So he asked me if he could bless me. Of course I said yes. The blessing was wonderful, but the best part was at the end when he said, "Someday you will again lead a family in the priesthood". After the blessing, I turned to him and I said, "I have a question", he said "Yes", I then said, "about that last part - the part about leading ... " He then interrupted me, and with a big smile on his face, and with no hesitation, he replied ... "I PROMISE!"

Looking at him in that moment I knew that whatever the past was, it was gone as far as he was concerned. I also recognized he was looking back at me, and also into me, with the power of the Lord, telling me that he understands me and the circumstances as a result of the blessing. This also told me in a spiritual sense, that I was forgiven, because he knew every part of me, and yet still accepted me. So, when people have a problem with who I am now, and what my history was, I think of Elder Teh, and the blessing he gave me, and the presence of the Lord that I felt on that day. Elder Teh signed my priesthood advancement form right after the blessing, something that is normally reserved for the Stake President. This caused a bit of a stir in the Stake, but I absolutely had no problem with it!!! Actually I rather enjoyed it in a rather obscure way.

Shortly after this, I was called to the following positions in my branch: Single Adult Rep, Emergency Prep Coordinator, Employment Specialist, Cannery coordinator, Sunday School Teacher, and finally Welfare Specialist -- All at the same time. I worked hard under the direction of my Branch President (who to this day is my best Friend) to help people move off welfare and engage in the principles of preparedness. We finally got everyone employed and working and saving money for the future.

The day I was released our branch became a ward, being able to support itself.

This is a story that I haven’t told before in its entirety. It was a little unexpected for me to share it, But I have a feeling that someone here needed to hear it. If not, perhaps I needed to hear it for myself again. I also want to add one more part of this story. When I was working my way back, I often wondered if I had lost my original testimony. I certainly didn’t feel it anymore and it seemed that a lot of it I forgot, certainly the details of it. This was a concern for me, as I not only wanted to be fully active, but realized that meant having a solid foundation of a testimony to rebuild my life on.

One day, in Elders Quorum, the EQP, while giving his lesson, he stopped, looked at me, and asked me to share my testimony. It was definitely odd and out of place. So, I asked him to repeat his request, and he asked me again to share my testimony of the church. So I thought to myself, I'll just share my original testimony of when I was investigating the church many years ago when I was a teenager. The same testimony I had given countless times in my youth and on my mission. As I said my testimony, I remembered details and felt a wonderful confirmation of the truth of the church all over again.

So, now I don’t hesitate to share my testimony when someone asks, and I often share it on fast Sunday. I do this so I never lose it again.

One more thought to add. To those coming back, and facing the same scrutiny as I have, remember this ...

Ephesians chapter 2

17. And came and preached peace to you which were afar off, and to them that were nigh.

18. For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father.

19. Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;

20. And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone;

21. In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord:

You have a place, a rightful one in the framework of the house of the Lord. Let your experience and new found strength teach truth when directed.

Love your story - thanks for sharing!

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