Anti-Mormon Bloopers

[Bernard Gui]

I've heard some outrageous things about the Church and its members over the

years. I would like to have a little contest here to find the most hilarious anti-Mormon

moment. One rule...you have to be a witness of the event. No second hand stories!

I'll start off with these three:

1. Liar Liar Pants On Fire.

At an anti-Mormon rally in a Lutheran church in Rockford IL, the professional anti-Mo

said he once attended General Conference in Salt Lake City where

the famous Mormon Apostle LeGrand Richards was speaking. At one point

in his talk, said the anti, Elder Richards began to quote a Bible passage, but as

he proceeded through the quote Richards realized that it contradicted the Mormon

doctrine he was preaching. The anti said, "Richards hung his head in embarrassment

and defeat and slowly returned to his seat."

2. Storming Mount Olympus

In Tacoma WA, my oldest son and I were eating in a Dairy Queen after a school event. In came several

young married couples. They sat near us and started a rather animated conversation about

Mormons. They had just attended a lesson on Mormons at their church. One of the men

insisted that when Mormons become gods, they go into heaven and throw God off his

throne. That's how they become Gods, he claimed.

3. Who Was That Masked Man?

In a discussion with two Jehovah's Witnesses missionaries, one of them claimed Mormons are not

Christians because the Book of Mormon says there is no Christ. He quoted Alma 30:14-15...

"These things which ye call prophecies...behold they are foolish traditions of your fathers...ye

cannot know of things which ye do not see; therefore ye cannot know that there shall be

a Christ...it is the effect of a frenzied mind!"

So, feel free to add your bloopers and we'll take a vote for the best one. I'll think of an appropriate

prize for the winner...perhaps my well-used copy of One Nation Under Gods first edition (you know,

the one the editor messed up.)

Bernard

[MatthewG]

I've heard some outrageous things about the Church and its members over the

years. I would like to have a little contest here to find the most hilarious anti-Mormon

moment. One rule...you have to be a witness of the event. No second hand stories!

I'll start off with these three:

1. Liar Liar Pants On Fire.

At an anti-Mormon rally in a Lutheran church in Rockford IL, the professional anti-Mo

said he once attended General Conference in Salt Lake City where

the famous Mormon Apostle LeGrand Richards was speaking. At one point

in his talk, said the anti, Elder Richards began to quote a Bible passage, but as

he proceeded through the quote Richards realized that it contradicted the Mormon

doctrine he was preaching. The anti said, "Richards hung his head in embarrassment

and defeat and slowly returned to his seat."

2. Storming Mount Olympus

In Tacoma WA, my oldest son and I were eating in a Dairy Queen after a school event. In came several

young married couples. They sat near us and started a rather animated conversation about

Mormons. They had just attended a lesson on Mormons at their church. One of the men

insisted that when Mormons become gods, they go into heaven and throw God off his

throne. That's how they become Gods, he claimed.

3. Who Was That Masked Man?

In a discussion with two Jehovah's Witnesses missionaries, one of them claimed Mormons are not

Christians because the Book of Mormon says there is no Christ. He quoted Alma 30:14-15...

"These things which ye call prophecies...behold they are foolish traditions of your fathers...ye

cannot know of things which ye do not see; therefore ye cannot know that there shall be

a Christ...it is the effect of a frenzied mind!"

So, feel free to add your bloopers and we'll take a vote for the best one. I'll think of an appropriate

prize for the winner...perhaps my well-used copy of One Nation Under Gods first edition (you know,

the one the editor messed up.)

Bernard

LOL, number 2 is pretty good. Did you do anything in these 3 situations? Say anything?

[Bernard Gui]

LOL, number 2 is pretty good. Did you do anything in these 3 situations? Say anything?

1. Well, that's the first time I ever experienced real bigotry. The speaker had the

audience worked up into a real anti-Mormon frenzy. A member of the stake presidency

who was also the head master of a very prestigious Rockford private school was

shouted down when he tried to reply during the Q&A. My friend who I went with

and I were actually afraid to identify ourselves as LDS.

2. Yes. I turned around and talked to them for about 30 minutes. I said they had

received some bogus information, but the fellow would not relent.

3. I asked them if they had actually read that chapter, because if they had they

not, they would be really embarrassed. They had not read it.

Bernard

[Garden Girl]

My bro-in-law and his wife lived in Utah (Cedar City, then Dugway and St Geo) although they were not LDS. At the time we were in contact I was inactive, though was never disrespectful of the Church, etc. One time we were driving along with them on the way to Panguitch Lake and my sis-in-law says... Jeanie, is it true that old time Mormons who lived polygamy used to show how many wives they had by the number of chimneys on their homes?

What?! I said... and we had a good laugh. Thereafter as we'd drive along and pass an old homestead with several chimneys we'd exclaim... Look, two wives! Three wives!

Garden Girl

[Bernard Gui]

My bro-in-law and his wife lived in Utah (Cedar City, then Dugway and St Geo) although they were not LDS. At the time we were in contact I was inactive, though was never disrespectful of the Church, etc. One time we were driving along with them on the way to Panguitch Lake and my sis-in-law says... Jeanie, is it true that old time Mormons who lived polygamy used to show how many wives they had by the number of chimneys on their homes?

What?! I said... and we had a good laugh. Thereafter as we'd drive along and pass an old homestead with several chimneys we'd exclaim... Look, two wives! Three wives!

Har! Any houses up in the 20s or 30s?

Bernard

[Garden Girl]

That's why the premise was so silly...

GG

[Bernard Gui]

That's why the premise was so silly...

Can you write a clever title for your story? When we take the vote, we can

go by titles.

Bernard

[Avatar4321]

Most of my interesting experiences occured when people pretended to be exmormons and yet demonstrating they had no idea what they were talking about.

One guy I talked to claiming to be an exmormon had no clue what an Elder was.

Another guy claiming to be exmormon claimed to be a convert in college and left the Church when he learned of that evil false doctrine of Baptism for the dead that the Church was hiding from him. When I pointed out that he cant possibly be telling the truth because Baptism for the dead is mentioned in the discussions youd have to take prior to being baptized and converting, he of course, ignored me from then on.

[Wiki Wonka]

I'll think of an appropriate

prize for the winner...perhaps my well-used copy of One Nation Under Gods first edition (you know,

the one the editor messed up.)

Bernard

So...would second prize be two well-used copies of One Nation Under Gods?

[Daniel Peterson]

I was once at an academic conference in upstate New York when another participant, noticing my nametag with its BYU identification, commented that he really admired Mormonism, except for the way we treat bankruptcies.

I asked him what he meant, and he described the Church policy that will invest to save a member's failing business twice but, on the third failure, expects the member to commit suicide. He simply would not credit my denials of this alleged policy. He had heard about it from a reliable source, you see, and maybe I just needed to learn a little more about what my church teaches.

[aletheia]

I was tracting on my mission and the gentleman began to tell me that I was brainwashed. I asked him to explain further and he then told us of how Joseph Smith REALLY died.

So the story goes: Joseph Smith told a farmer who was interested in the church to meet him at a tent revival that evening. As the farmer went he realized that Joseph Smith stood him up. So being obviously upset he stormed home. And what did he find at home? Joseph smith in bed with his two 14 year old daughters.

This is the reason Joseph went to carthage jail. The Farmer then heard that a mob of men were coming to rescue Joseph so he took his shotgun and guarded the jail. When the farmer saw the mob he quickly went up the stairs and shot Joesph Smith with his shotgun.

Haha, I guess we had it all wrong?

Another one of my favorites: I was teaching in a lesson on my mission and the lady asks me a question.

She says, "You do know why the roads in Utah are so wide right?"

I answered, "No, why?"

She says, "It was for Joseph Smith so he could walk down the streets with all of his wives."

bwahahaha! True story.

[maklelan]

I had a preacher on my mission get in my face and tell me he knew all about "John Smith." He loudly crowed that he had already read the Book of Mormon and the "Black Pearl" and so he knew everything he needed to know about Mormonism.

[BCSpace]

And if any man shall take away from the words of the book

We challenged an antagonistic Baptist women to take the missionary discussions if we could show in her Bible where it says baptism saves us. She accepted and we showed her 1 Peter 3:21. She immediately ripped the page out of her Bible and exclaimed "It's not in my Bible!". Whereupon we quoted Revelation 22:19

Of course, she was not a man but......

[why me]

On an antimormon board, a discussion about how the book of mormon came to be was in progress. Each time a member of the forum brought up a different understanding, all would agree. If someone claimed JS wrote it by using View of the Hebrews, all would agree. Others claimed automatic writing and all would agree. If someone said that Spaulding wrote some of it and Sidney finished it, all would agree. Others brought up the Golden Teapot idea, all would agree. And so on.. Finally I chimed in and said that all the stories can not be true because they can contradict eachother. I received a scolding and was eventually banned.

[mnn727]

Golden Teapot idea ???? Never heard of that one, what is it?

[Ron Beron]

I was once at an academic conference in upstate New York when another participant, noticing my nametag with its BYU identification, commented that he really admired Mormonism, except for the way we treat bankruptcies.

I asked him what he meant, and he described the Church policy that will invest to save a member's failing business twice but, on the third failure, expects the member to commit suicide. He simply would not credit my denials of this alleged policy. He had heard about it from a reliable source, you see, and maybe I just needed to learn a little more about what my church teaches.

That would be one unique answer to today's bailouts to banks. Can you imagine if the CEO's of all these institutions would follow suit? It would give them second thought to make bad loans.

[why me]

Golden Teapot idea ???? Never heard of that one, what is it?

I don't exactly know myself. But I did bring up the great pumpkin in response. I chimed in: One day, when JS was in the pumpkin patch growing his pumpkins, the great pumpkin appeared and told him about the buried treasure...

The whole experience was a little strange.

[urroner]

I don't exactly know myself. But I did bring up the great pumpkin in response. I chimed in: One day, when JS was in the pumpkin patch growing his pumpkins, the great pumpkin appeared and told him about the buried treasure...

The whole experience was a little strange.

From A Summary of Five Reviews of Grant Palmer's "An Insider's View of Mormon Origins" (with a Few Comments of My Own) by George E. Cobabe

The Golden Pot

Palmer asserts that early Mormon history was based on a fairy tale by E.T.A. Hoffman's entitled The Golden Pot. Yet there are very few similarities between the story and the history, even as Palmer relates them.

Hoffman's Der golden Topf was first published in German in 1814 and then made available by Thomas Carlyle in English in 1827 under the title The Golden Pot. An online version can be found at www.horrormasters.com/Text/a0355.pdf¹⁷

After going through a rather detailed examination of some of the claims of Palmer relating to the similarities between the two, Midgley makes the observation that "Every claim that Palmer makes concerning parallels between Hoffmann's weird tale and the story of the restoration is just as tenuous and problematic--just as forced or contrived--as is his claim that there is translation of an ancient history being described in that tale."¹⁸

Allen points out that the comparisons between The Golden Pot and Joseph's story are forced, "that is, they are presented in such a way that the context in 'The Golden Pot' is distorted and the comparison with Joseph Smith's story is contrived."¹⁹

17 Midgley, "Prying into Palmer," 369, n. 14.

18 Ibid., 395.

19 Allen, "Asked and Answered," 266.

Golden Pot, is that anything like maui wowi?

[consiglieri]

I had a preacher on my mission get in my face and tell me he knew all about "John Smith." He loudly crowed that he had already read the Book of Mormon and the "Black Pearl" and so he knew everything he needed to know about Mormonism.

20-years ago, the stake mission leader in Austin, Texas, told me that when he ran into antagonostic people who said they had read the whole Book of Mormon, and he doubted they had, he would innocently ask them how they liked it and what they thought of it.

Regardless of their answer, he would follow up by asking what they thought of the story in the Book of Mormon about how Joseph Smith rode across the plains on a white buffalo.

Just his way of testing their credibility.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

[Sentinus]

I heard this story about Joseph Smith burying his head in a hat when translating the BOM.

I heard another story about how Joseph found some rocks and claimed they were Adams altar.

I heard another that claimed Joseph had sex with some if not all of his wives, so he could raise up a righteous seed.

I heard that Joseph Smith married young women and one of them was promised salvation for herself and her whole family if she obliged.

I heard another about Joseph sneaking into one of his wives homes behind Emmas back, and he even wrote a letter that after read was supposed to be burned.

I heard that Joseph Smith fired back at the mob in Carthage.

I also heard that Joseph Smith frequently ignored the Word of Wisdom.

Regards,Sentinus

20-years ago, the stake mission leader in Austin, Texas, told me that when he ran into antagonostic people who said they had read the whole Book of Mormon, and he doubted they had, he would innocently ask them how they liked it and what they thought of it.Regardless of their answer, he would follow up by asking what they thought of the story in the Book of Mormon about how Joseph Smith rode across the plains on a white buffalo.Just his way of testing their credibility.All the Best!--Consiglieri

That reminds me of that one "anti" guy who constantly asks people where they could find the book of Hezekiah in the Bible.(Quit looking guys its not there, its a trick )RegardsSentinus

[BCSpace]

He loudly crowed that he had already read the Book of Mormon and the "Black Pearl" and so he knew everything he needed to know about Mormonism.

I read the Black Pearl too; back in elementary school.....

[Sentinus]

1. Well, that's the first time I ever experienced real bigotry. The speaker had the

audience worked up into a real anti-Mormon frenzy. A member of the stake presidency

who was also the head master of a very prestigious Rockford private school was

shouted down when he tried to reply during the Q&A. My friend who I went with

and I were actually afraid to identify ourselves as LDS.

2. Yes. I turned around and talked to them for about 30 minutes. I said they had

received some bogus information, but the fellow would not relent.

3. I asked them if they had actually read that chapter, because if they had they

not, they would be really embarrassed. They had not read it.

Bernard

Regarding number one. I am seriously sorry that you felt this way. No one should ever feel this way.

Regards,

Sentinus

[maklelan]

That reminds me of that one "anti" guy who constantly asks people where they could find the book of Hezekiah in the Bible.(Quit looking guys its not there, its a trick )RegardsSentinus

That reminds me of the goofy street screechers at General Conference who challenge Mormons to recite the Ten Commandments. They don't like it when someone can recite it in the original Hebrew, and the subject always changes. I've personally never been impressed with the Bible knowledge of any "antis."

[Sentinus]

That reminds me of the goofy street screechers at General Conference who challenge Mormons to recite the Ten Commandments. They don't like it when someone can recite it in the original Hebrew, and the subject always changes. I've personally never been impressed with the Bible knowledge of any "antis."

That I would pay to see.

Regards,

Sentinus

[Confidential Informant]

No, the best anti-statement ever made was one that was actually "true" taken totally out of context. I once read an anti-tract that stated BYU has the highest rate of "teenage mothers" or "teenage birth" of any college in the country. In fact, I'm sure that is likely true. What the anti failed to mention was that BYU has has the highest rate of married couples in the country, thus all of those "teen marriages" were 19 year old, married coeds.

Thought that was hilarious.

C.I.